


Drawn to You

by nicekittyrawr, StupidLeeches, wolfh00r



Series: Let Love In [2]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Gen, Imprinting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-15 03:45:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 161,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2214570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicekittyrawr/pseuds/nicekittyrawr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidLeeches/pseuds/StupidLeeches, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfh00r/pseuds/wolfh00r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let Love In" series, story 2. Ness decides to go away to college before her best friend Jacob can imprint. But when Jacob finds out she's leaving for Seattle he can no longer keep his secret. Finding out the truth is just the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Seasons of my Life

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Still not SM, sadly. But we hear rumors that she’s considering a Jake/Ness story in the future. Huh.
> 
>  
> 
> Summary: Part of the “Let Love In” series. Follow up to Losing Control, our Embry and Lillah (original character) fic. Reading LC isn’t necessary but we encourage it. ;) Ness decides to go away to college before her best friend Jacob can imprint. But when Jacob finds out she’s leaving for Seattle he can no longer keep his secret. Finding out the truth is just the beginning.
> 
> A/N: We’re sorry about the long authors note *hides* ... we just wanted to get this said.
> 
> We know this has been a long time coming but we needed a break after finishing the monster that was Losing Control.
> 
> Yes, this chapter is long. So far, this is the longest chapter we’ve written, but trust us, there is a LOT you need to know about what has led to the start of this story. Ness wants you to know all about who she is, because our girl is not JUST a vampire/human hybrid.
> 
> We are so excited to share Jake and Ness’ story with you. So we’ll stop wasting time and get on with the show. Enjoy, and thank you for sticking with us. We love every single one of you more than we can ever say. We write because we love to. You guys falling in love with these characters is a really big bonus.

** Chapter 1 “Seasons of My Life” **

 

 

_Oh, mirror in the sky_

_What is love_

_Can the child within my heart rise above_

_Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides_

_Can I handle the seasons of my life_

_Well, I’ve been afraid of changing_

_cause I’ve built my life around you_

“Landslide” - Fleetwood Mac

 

** Ness’ Point of View **

 

The second Dad stops the car at the corner of A Street, I know what I’m experiencing isn’t real. I’m in that state of unconsciousness where you know you are dreaming but can’t wake up. This happens to me often. One of the benefits of my ability is my memories playing back just like they happened in life. It’s wonderful when I dream of happy times, but as this is a reoccurring one, I know it isn’t the case tonight. This particular memory is from nearly a year ago, but it still ranks as one of the worst days of my life. I see out of my own eyes as the memory plays out in my mind.

 

 _I lean over to give Dad a kiss on the cheek then reach for the door handle. I’m so excited for the day ahead that I jump out of the car, my heart thrumming along as I practically skip down the street. Jacob and I are going on a picnic._ Alone. _I feel my cheeks heating up just considering the possibility of being alone with Jacob. We don’t get to do that often these days and I miss spending time with him._

 

_When he called this morning he asked me to meet him at the deli to pick out our food. Mom was a little offended that he didn’t ask her to make something for us, but I didn’t care. The food doesn’t matter to me, all I care about is the company._

 

_Turning the corner, my eyes lock on Jacob. He’s tall and muscular; his masculine face handsome with dark, alert eyes and lips that are often graced with a smile. When he looks at me it causes a hitch in my breath. Yes, I am a swoony teenage girl._

 

_Jacob Black means the world to me. He is my best friend, but I wish he was so much more. Although it’s only been over the past year that my feelings for him have changed, that year is a large chunk of my life. Even though I look like I’m fifteen or sixteen; technically I’m only a few years old._

 

_I run straight for his open arms as soon as he turns toward me. He pulls me tight against his chest, swinging me around like he always has. I love being wrapped securely in his arms, but as I’ve gotten older, the enjoyment has changed. As a child, being in Jacob’s arms felt safe and comfortable; now there is an odd electric spark that I feel whenever he touches me. When I’m curled into his body, my own feels like it is charged. I’m acutely aware of every millimeter of me that is touching him._

 

 _Jacob gently sets me back down, but doesn’t release me until I’m steady on my feet. That’s when I notice Embry standing beside him on the sidewalk. Or at least, it looks sort of like Embry under that scruffy beard and messy hair. He looks_ rough.

 

 _“Geez Embry, what happened? You look terrible.” I am concerned for him; since he, like all of the wolves, is a dear friend of mine. It surprises me when Jacob starts laughing, but I feel a small sense of relief at the sound._ Surely it can’t be anything too bad if Jacob is enjoying Embry’s discomfort.

 

 _When I glance his way again, Jacob grins before leaning down, his lips brushing softly against my ear. I feel myself flush, my heart beating so quickly that it sounds like a steady hum in my chest instead of individual beats._ I really hope he can’t hear what he does to me.

 

_“Embry imprinted.”_

 

_Everything stops at those words; my heart, my breathing, even the blush that was making it’s way up my neck pauses. Everything drops to my feet. When Jacob leans back, takes his heat away from me, I’m left with only cold chills of fear. I can hear Embry arguing with Jacob, but I’m so scared I can’t focus on what they are saying._

 

Embry imprinted. _It has been so long since anyone imprinted that I assumed it would just never happen for Embry, Leah, Seth, and... Jacob. To me, it was just something I’d heard about- never witnessed. Admittedly, I’ve always hoped it wouldn’t happen to Jacob. I just want to keep him for myself. I’ve also daydreamed that somehow Jacob would wake up one day and just magically imprint on me. I know that won’t happen, imprinting just doesn’t work that way, but a girl can still dream._

 

_The hope that our friendship would eventually change into more, into a relationship, is something I’ve clung to desperately. According to the legends I’ve heard; not every wolf has to imprint. They can still have long, happy lives with the people they love without imprinting. Considering that my rapid aging has begun tapering off, I thought Jacob and I would make the perfect pair someday. As long as he keeps phasing, he can live forever; just like me._

 

 _I’d wanted today, this picnic, to be the start of that change. Instead of the start of something, this day has now dashed any and all hopes I might have had for a relationship with Jacob. If Embry imprinted, then that means any of the other wolves could still imprint._ Including Jacob.

 

_I force myself to turn away from Jacob before he realizes how much this news has upset me. Pushing away my own sadness, I focus on the exciting part of the news: Embry has been alone and he deserves someone that makes him happy._

 

 _“Who is she, Embry? Anyone I know? May I guess?” I ask my questions quickly, hoping to cover up the hitch in my voice. If Jacob realizes something is wrong he will immediately demand to know what is going on. I can’t admit my feelings to him._ Talk about embarrassing, especially if he doesn’t feel the same way.

 

_It isn’t until Embry shrugs that I finally manage to pull myself out of my own thoughts enough to realize something isn’t right with my friend. He should be happy, excited to have met this woman that is his soul mate, but he isn’t. He looks distressed and he seems...angry, which doesn’t make any sense at all. I’ve never seen Embry angry before._

 

_“You can guess, but you’ll never figure it out. Enjoy your picnic you two.”_

 

_Seeing a friend in pain hurts me. I want to make Embry feel better, make him laugh. Making a snap decision, I run after him, jumping on his back before he steps off the sidewalk. I’m laughing as I lean my face over his shoulder, trying to speak in my best threatening tone, “Tell me who she is or I’ll bite you, Embry!”_

 

_It works. Embry starts laughing, running down the sidewalk carrying me, shouting over his shoulder, “You wouldn’t!”_

 

_Joking around like this feels easy and it makes me happy to know I’ve at least made him laugh. Feeling him relax makes me giggle even harder as I choke out, “I don’t want to, but to get the information I want, I will. Just ask Jake, I’m a biter.”_

 

_Embry stops where he is and I feel him glance back at Jacob. “Is that so?”_

 

 _I’m confused by the smirk on Embry’s face. Then Jacob’s eyes dart away, to the ground, and I realize what my words have implied. I didn’t mean it in that way, but I’m surprised to see Jacob so uncomfortable._ Odd _._

 

 _Thankfully, Embry doesn’t say any more. Once he helps me down he gives me a hug. Nothing like the hug Jacob and I just shared; I don’t become a ball of nerves when I hug anyone but_ My Jacob.

 

_As Embry steps back he huffs out, “Fine, her name is Lillah; she’s a friend of Rachel’s. Now go enjoy your picnic with Jacob. I’ve got to go get some work done. And don’t tell anyone else!”_

 

_I’m not surprised by his admission, more shocked that he wasn’t interested in sharing it with me in the first place. Normally you can’t get one of these guys to stop talking about his imprint. That Embry even hesitated for a moment confuses me, given what I know about the pack._

 

_I call out after him as he walks away. “Your secret is safe with me, Embry.” If there is one thing I’m good at, it’s keeping secrets. My biggest secret right now is how deeply I’m in love with my best friend, but secrets have been a part of my whole life. My safety and ability to exist depend on keeping secrets. Even though I will not share this information, I’m still excited to meet his Lillah. “You should bring her to the bonfire on Saturday. I want to meet the woman that stole your heart!”_

 

_He doesn’t comment, instead shuffling off to his truck. I run back to Jacob, but the excitement I felt earlier has been diminished by Embry’s news._

 

_As we wait for our order at the deli, I cautiously press my hand to Jacob’s cheek. “Embry didn’t seem happy about...” I can’t say the word ‘imprinting’, it hurts too much to even think it. I pull my hand back from his face, afraid I might share more than I plan to given how emotional I am._

 

_He lifts his eyebrow at me but when I don’t respond, he shrugs, “He isn’t. He thinks he can deny it.” Jacob almost sounds like he is growling when he says ‘deny’. “As if we could resist that connection.” He glances at me then turns away. “It’s impossible. He doesn’t realize how lucky he is that he can have the one he’s meant to be with.”_

 

_‘Impossible’ is not what I want to hear. I sit quietly beside Jacob, doing my best not to let him see that something is bothering me. Even though it’s Embry that has imprinted, it feels like I’m losing Jacob. Suddenly that application for the University of Washington that Dad placed on my desk last week seems very appealing._

 

 _I don’t want to be here when Jacob imprints. Better to make a clean break and deal with the pain than drag it out and get hurt even more when he does finally meet_ her _. My mind becomes a whirlwind of my biggest fears and worries._ Losing him; seeing him fall in love with someone else. _There’s no one else I could ever see myself with. That tiny bit of hope I had that he could return those feelings is quickly fading. It will always be Jacob for me, even if he can’t reciprocate._

 

_Once we have our order, Jacob leads me out to his old Rabbit. Dad hates that he drives me around in this car, but I love it. He folds his body in, his shoulders brushing mine in the cramped interior. “You ready for a picnic?”_

 

_I give him my best smile, but underneath, I’m dying a little. This no longer feels like the almost-date I had envisioned this morning. He drives us to the cliffs, taking my hand and leading me through the forest to his favorite cliff, the very top one. My hand in his has always felt right but lately it feels more intimate._

 

 _Jacob sets out a blanket and the food and we settle in. I’m not that hungry, but I choke down a few bites. As he finishes up, he turns to me, grinning. He steals the rest of my food and we slide back into our natural banter, laughing and teasing one another. Even though this is how we have always been, now it feels like I’m pretending. I act like everything is fine, but my heart is gripped with fear. However, Jacob can’t know how I feel, it isn’t fair to burden him with my emotions once he imprints. I’ve seen the consequences of that with Sam, Emily, and Leah._ I don’t want to be like Leah.

 

_I’m pulling myself together when Jacob sits up straight, a serious look on his face. “Ness, there’s something I need to tell you.”_

 

_I wait quietly, nodding for him to go on._

 

_“I imprinted. On Leah.”_

 

-0-

 

I gasp for air as I sit up straight. My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might jump up through my throat. I stretch my hand out, fumbling in the overwhelming darkness for the lamp beside my bed. When the soft glow appears, I’m able to see my room clearly. Being grounded in the safety of my bed, I analyze what just happened.

 

The memory of learning about Lillah being Embry’s imprint and my afternoon with Jacob somehow morphed into a very real nightmare. The picnic Jacob and I had that day ended with us laughing and enjoying one another until the sun started to set. Even with the fear I was losing him after Embry’s announcement, once it was just Jacob and I, we slipped back into our usual selves. He never mentioned anything about imprinting, and especially nothing about imprinting on _Leah_. That particular nightmare was of my own making.

 

It has become a huge elephant in the room for me since Jacob spends a lot of time with Leah. Of course she’s his Beta; but it feels like more. I don’t know what they do together and I never ask. I’m too afraid I might hear something that will put a wedge between us. _Like how he’d rather be spending time with her._

 

Grounding myself in reality, I try to focus on all the good things that came out of that day. In less than a year, Embry has gone from wanting to deny his imprint to married and starting a family with Lillah. She did steal his heart; she also has become one of my closest friends. Had he not met and imprinted on Lillah, I wouldn’t have her in my life.

 

My breathing has calmed down, but I’m still freaked out by the trick my mind played on me. I’m thankful for the time to compose myself since neither of my parents came rushing in. My dreams have been getting stranger and more disturbing lately. Between the dreams and the fact that some nights I can’t seem to shut my mind off, I haven’t had a good nights sleep in a while.

 

Reaching for my iPod and sketch pad I sink into my favorite thing to do after having one of these nightmares. I begin to empty my mind of all thoughts and I draw.

 

-0-

 

The room is quiet. I look up from my sketch pad, surprised to find that the black night outside my window has been replaced with the muted greys and soft peach colors of dawn. Glancing down at my iPod, I frown when I realize the cause of the silence; the battery is dead. I didn’t check how much battery was left when I grabbed it.

 

Catching the time on my clock, I calculate how long I’ve been awake; almost four hours. I’m exhausted after having been awakened by my nightmare. In the past, when I can’t sleep, music and drawing soothes me. Not so much recently. I had hoped I would fall back to sleep eventually, but based on the time, sleep won’t be happening anytime soon.

 

Removing the now silent earbuds, I plug the iPod into the charger then carefully tuck my sketch pad back into the hiding spot under my bed. I absolutely refuse to let anyone look at my sketches; they are all too personal, so I hide them away.

 

Even though dawn is just starting, I know I need to get ready for my Friday morning dance class. Since it’s in Seattle, Mom and I have to leave soon to make it there on time. Yawning, I stretch my back and neck muscles, feeling the blood flow return after having spent most of the night hunched over. It’s funny how I don’t notice that I’m in an uncomfortable position until I’ve stopped drawing. It’s like I’m in a different world.

 

Drawing is something Grandmama Esme introduced me to early on, giving me my first sketch pad before I was even six months old. Drawing is one of my most cherished gifts. I don’t know how she knew I would need a place to record all of my memories but I am thankful she gave me that chance. It’s impossible for me to fathom what my mind would be like if I didn’t have this outlet.

 

Somehow all the thoughts and emotions I can’t put into words end up in my sketches. One glance at the most recent books and the musings of my heart and mind would be obvious. _Jacob._

 

I can feel my cheeks heat up just thinking his name. Lately I’ve been filling up more sketch pads than I can count, and every single page is full of him. When I draw, I don’t think about what I’m going to draw, I just start. As soon as the pencil touches the paper, it empties my thoughts, just like my hand on someones cheek places my thoughts in their head. I know I’ve been constantly thinking about him, but seeing those thoughts on paper scares me. There is no doubt what it all means but I can’t share it with anyone.

 

I jump when I hear the front door of the cottage open. When I hear the familiar sounds of my parents entering I relax. _They must have been hunting while they thought I was sleeping._ I’m sure they now know I’m not sleeping, but I’m guessing Mom has managed to stop Dad from rushing in to check on me. I love my parents dearly but my father has a tendency to hover and be...slightly...overprotective.

 

I pull on leggings and a loose fitting shirt before packing my dance bag. Moving to the bathroom, I brush my teeth and hair then wash my face. As I walk out into the living room, I find my parents on the couch, both reading a book. Mom has her head in his lap and Dad is idly stroking her hair with his free hand. The sight of them like this makes me smile softly. It’s always so clear how much they love one another.

 

Mom glances up at me only when I’m standing in front of the couch. As soon as she takes in every detail of my face with a quick glance, her normally soft golden eyes become alert. “You’ve been awake for a while, haven’t you?”

 

I shrug, not wanting to make a big deal over my lack of sleep. Mom gives me one last glance before closing her book and sitting up. I sigh in relief, knowing she won’t push me any further. She is very unlike my father in that respect. He does not willingly allow me to defer his attentions when he knows something is bothering me.

 

Mom places a kiss on his lips then stands next to me. “You ready?” she asks, her smile bright on her beautiful, pale face. I nod my head, returning her smile before leaning down to kiss Dad’s cheek.

 

As I pull back, he whispers to me, “Are you sure you’re ok?” I hold back my sigh. I should have just waited for Mom at the car. _I knew I wouldn’t make it out of the house without him asking me as well._

 

I can see the frustration on his face. He’s accustomed to everyone being an open book to him. However, Mom has been shielding my mind from him for most of my life. Times like these, when I’m so overwhelmed that I’m not even sure what I’m feeling, I’m grateful for the privacy she provides me.

 

“I’m fine,” I respond automatically before standing up, giving him my best smile. Dad narrows his eyes at me, but I know my mind is still guarded when he glances over at my mother. She gives him a smile and a nod before her hand grasps mine.

 

“Come on, Renesmee. You can nap in the car. Goodbye my love, we’ll see you later.”

 

I wave at Dad as we leave the cottage and head for the garage. Once we are settled, she turns on the sound system, keeping the volume low, then smiles over at me. “Close your eyes and rest. We’ll be there soon.”

 

I nod, appreciative of her understanding. I quickly fall asleep, the music and hum of the engine drowning out the memory of the nightmare that kept me awake most of the night.

 

-0-

 

The day flies by, the repetition of perfecting new dance moves distracting me from my worries. When I walk out of the Pacific Northwest Ballet school, I feel much more relaxed. While I’m not physically exhausted, I’m mentally drained. It takes my total and complete focus to hold myself back so no one notices that I’m not completely human. After hours of considering every move I make, I can’t think beyond putting one foot in front of the other to walk out of the dance studio.

 

Mom is patiently waiting for me in the car at the curb. As I get settled, I pull my phone out to check for any messages. I’m a little surprised to see no one has contacted me today, especially Lillah. Ever since I started taking lessons at the ballet studio she has been hounding me for details about the teachers and what I’ve learned. Her lack of communication today worries me, given her very pregnant condition.

 

“Everything ok?” Mom asks as she takes off.

 

Touching her face, I ask if she’s heard anything about Lillah. I’m hoping maybe Jacob contacted her while I was in class. That hope is dashed by the subtle frown on her face, “No, I’m sorry. How is she doing?”

 

Embry and Lillah’s first baby is due any day now but no one can be sure when the time will come. I’ve even asked Aunt Alice if she can tell, but since Embry is almost constantly around Lillah, she has a hard time seeing around the blindness his wolf side causes her.

 

Recalling my last visit with Lillah, I recount what she told me to Mom, “As of yesterday she was feeling great, but no sign of labor yet.”

 

Mom nods in understanding. “How’s Embry doing?”

 

“Honestly?” Mom gives me a weird look, which makes me giggle a little. “I know he means well, but he’s gotten a little crazy with the hovering. He’s stopped phasing and rarely leaves Lillah’s side.”

 

A breathy “Oh” escapes Mom’s mouth before a far off expression takes over her face. I’m assuming she’s thinking about another birth, another worried father that wouldn’t leave his wife’s side. I’ve heard stories of my mother’s pregnancy and my own birth more times than I can count. My father, it would seem, started his hovering over me before I was in the world.

 

Mom shakes her head briefly then smiles over at me, “That must be why Jacob seemed so exhausted when your father and I saw him this morning.”

 

This surprises me. Jacob doesn’t patrol in the mornings, especially as early as Mom and Dad were out. That should have been Leah, Seth, Jared, or Sam. When I ask the question of Mom, she smiles at me, “I was surprised to see him too. He said he was helping Sam cover for Jared so he could be with Kim and Connor.”

 

“That was sweet of him,” I mumble. Jared’s wife and imprintee, Kim, just had their first baby a few weeks ago. Jacob took me over to see them last week. Kim was doing great and even mentioned attending the bonfire tomorrow night. Of course, Connor, their son, is adorable. Soft black hair covering his head and chubby little cheeks. He reminded me of Sam and Emily’s little Eli when he was born. The baby epidemic amongst the pack would be funny; but it’s hard to laugh when it’s so obvious these children are wanted and adored.

 

“It was sweet, but he seemed a little cranky about it.” Mom winks at me. “I’m guessing he’s having to cover for Embry too. Downside of being the Chief!” Mom and I both snicker at the nickname she gave Jacob years ago. Technically he is the Chief and the pack Alpha, but he hates to be called that, so Mom loves to rub it in his face every chance she gets. It drives him nuts.

 

Once our laughter subsides, she quickly returns to the reason for our conversation, “Give Lillah a call if you are worried. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

 

Mom’s right. I probably won’t get to see Lillah today and I _am_ concerned about her. The decision made, I select Lillah’s smiling face next to her phone number on my cell. When the phone picks up I’m surprised to hear Embry’s deep voice answering.

 

“Embry? Is everything ok?” I ask, sitting up straight and worrying at my bottom lip with my teeth.

 

Before he can say anything, I hear Lillah in the background, “Embry, give me that! I can talk on the _phone_ , baby!”

 

There is a shuffling then Embry grumbles, “Hold on.” I just barely manage to contain my giggle at his surliness.

 

As Embry hands Lillah the phone, I can hear her speaking to him, “I love you, but you need to _relax_.” Lillah’s voice is not reprimanding or harsh; it’s soothing and light. _They counterbalance one another so well._

 

I hear Embry sigh as his voice drifts farther away, “I just want you and Halona safe.”

 

Embry and Lillah found out a few months ago they are having a baby girl. If Embry was excited before, that piece of information sent him over the moon, and over the edge into uber-protective-daddy-mode.

 

Lillah’s light laughter fills my ears. She sounds so happy, just as she has every day since she and Embry married. The joy in her voice makes me smile. “Hi Ness, how was dance?”

 

We launch into a quick conversation about my day then Lillah updates me on the little one. Nothing has changed since I visited her last night. “We had a check up today and the doctor said if we don’t have any action this weekend, she’ll induce Monday,” she finishes. I can hear the overwhelming excitement and nerves in my friend’s voice.

 

I squeak out a little sound of surprise. Now that they have a semi-date it makes it even more real. I can just barely hear Lillah murmur, “I know. She’ll be here soon.” I imagine her looking down at her belly, smiling. This news would explain why Embry is even more anxious now. _I bet he’s almost bald._

 

There is a commotion in the background and Lillah sighs, but I can hear the laughter in her voice as well. “I better go. Embry is trying to put sheets on the crib. I really don’t know why he’s bothering when she’s not going to sleep upstairs for at least a few months.” I snicker along with Lillah before we say our goodbyes. I feel much better when I click “end” on my phone.

 

“Monday?” Mom asks. I know she heard my entire conversation, but she still allows me to tell her the details.

 

“If not sooner. She’s so perky,” I tell her, shaking my head in exasperation. “I don’t see how she does it. Her stomach is-” I pause and hold a hand up to Mom’s face, showing her images of my time with Lillah yesterday.

 

Mom grins as I pull my hand back, “Yes, I see what you mean. She really is a lovely woman, and so perfect for Embry.”

 

I nod in agreement. I once told Lillah that she and Embry remind me of my parents. They just seem to understand and compliment each other. While there were a lot of things they had to work through to get to where they are now, they support one another and their love is unconditional. I sometimes wonder if I will ever have that for myself or if I’m eternally going to be this third-wheel.

 

Mom’s thumb presses gently in-between my eyes, “What’s going on in there?”

 

I give her a smile then show her the comparison I was making between her and Dad and Lillah and Embry. She gives me a soft smile, commenting on a thought I didn’t share with her, “You will have that some day.”

 

Shrugging, I don’t respond. Mom sighs then changes the subject, “How was dance?”

 

As we speed toward home, I show her my day. While I’m able to verbalize, around my family and Jacob, I still prefer to use my ability to communicate. It is just my way, but I do try to talk more now, especially since I’ve grown so close with some of the imprints.

 

I breeze through a review of my morning ballet class. As much as it is my favorite class, I don’t have a lot to share with Mom. My time in class flies by because I completely throw myself into the positions. It is another way to escape the thoughts constantly floating through my brain. I thoroughly enjoy dancing, especially ballet.

 

“Ivy says my quatrieme devant is improving,” I tell her quietly, my voice coming out in a whisper of embarrassment. I pause in my flashbacks when she glances over at me.

 

She reaches up and runs a finger along my cheek. “It looks lovely. You are so much more graceful than I ever was.” Her words make me giggle a little. Uncle Emmett loves to tease and share Mom’s human mishaps every chance he gets.

 

She gives me a huge grin when I show her a flash of Ivy, my teacher, and I out at lunch. Her grin turns to slight concern when I get to the part where Ivy tried to convince me to audition for the Professional Division classes. Mom raises an eyebrow at me but I tell her about my turning Ivy down, again. Mom smiles, understanding that while I enjoy dance, it isn’t my passion. I don’t have the desire to dance professionally.

 

We are zooming through Port Angeles just as I wrap up, showing Mom some of the more interesting moves from my afternoon modern dance class.

 

She gives me a happy smile and pats my leg, “I’m so glad you’ve made a friend in Seattle. Ivy seems really great.”

 

I give a quick nod in agreement, but don’t comment. We fall into a comfortable silence as we get closer to Forks. I’m constantly amazed that my mother has been so willing to give up one day each week this year to take me to Seattle and back for dance. I shouldn’t be surprised, I remind myself; my entire family supports and encourages my love of the arts. Even Grandpa Charlie will put on a tie to come support me at a recital.

 

My family aside, I’m often overwhelmed by the support I receive from my best friend. I know Jacob doesn’t care for the arts, but he is always there with me. When I was younger, I never questioned why he joined us on trips all around the world. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve wondered more and more about Jacob’s true motivation. Even when he is standing right beside me, doubts about whether he is there for me or my mother jump to the forefront of my mind. Once upon a time _she_ was his best friend. As much as he is my best friend now, I can’t help but to wonder if the reverse is true for him. They had a special bond, but I’m not sure if he ever moved on.

 

I almost want to laugh at myself for all these suspicions I have about Jacob. First Leah, now my mom. The problem is, as much time as I spend with him, I don’t know what he does when he’s away from me, or what he’s thinking about when he’s with me. He’s my best friend, but we don’t discuss things like who he’s seeing; he doesn’t mention it and I’m afraid to ask. I’ve never known of him to go on a date, but I’m sure he has; he’s just never talked to me about it.

 

 _Geez, my mind is all over the place_.

 

As we exit out of the Olympic National Park, I notice Mom is watching me closely. Wanting to distract her from whatever she might have seen on my face, I ask her how the rest of our family is doing, knowing she visits them while I’m in class.

 

Mom hesitates for half a second, almost like she’s considering whether to answer or push back for answers from me. Finally her face breaks out into a happy smile. She tells me stories of their antics, especially uncle Emmett. I miss him and the others so much it makes my chest ache. It feels like forever since they moved away. I wish I had more time to spend with them too.

 

As we speak, I’m reminded once again how very lucky I am to have such amazing friends and family. They are the only ones that know the real me, what I am; but they don’t treat me any differently. No matter what happens in the future, I know my friends and family love me unconditionally.

 

-0-

 

I’m curious when Mom stops the car in front of the main house instead of going to the garage. I brush her cheek with my fingertips, my question asked in the moment my skin touches hers. She just smiles at me, “Your father is up here, but I don’t know why.”

 

She’s out of the car in a flash while I move a little more slowly. As a half human my speed isn’t quite the same as the rest of my family’s. I’ve also been trying to work on humanizing myself more.

 

I can hear Mom and Dad speaking in the hushed tone they use so often, so I take my time. As much as I know they both love me, there are times I feel like my presence is interrupting them. They were married such a short amount of time before my birth. I sometimes wonder if they wish they’d had more time alone. Of course, neither of them would ever admit that. In fact, I can almost hear Dad shouting his denial. They are still a pair of newlyweds though, and sometimes it’s just gross, so I try to give them a little extra time alone.

 

“Welcome home Renesmee. How was dance?” I hear Dad’s greeting before I even reach the door. When I walk in, he’s sitting at his piano with Mom leaning into his side. He’s wearing a smile on his face. He’s always so happy to see me come home. I love him more than he can possibly imagine.

 

I move swiftly to his other side, touching his cheek as we hug, showing him the abridged version of my day. As much as I appreciate him staying out of my head I do love sharing things with him. It is a contradiction, to be sure, but I like knowing that I can share only the stuff I want to show him. He seems thrilled when I freely give him a glimpse into my day.

 

Once I finish, he releases me, but brushes his hand against my cheek, “Of course you are talented, how could you not be?” I pause, hesitating just a second before lightly touching his cool cheek again. I’m curious as to why he’s at the main house. He smirks when he sees my question. “Seth is meeting me here. I have a surprise for him.”

 

My curiosity must show on my face because he answers me without my asking this time. “He’ll be here shortly. You can find out the surprise when he does. Until then, why don’t you go look in the kitchen. A package arrived for you.”

 

I can plainly see the huge white envelope sitting on the counter as soon as I walk into the kitchen. As I get closer, it’s obviously addressed to me. Once I pick the package up, the large purple “W” is all I see. This is from the University of Washington. My stomach twists up into knots.

 

I take my time opening the envelope, both excited and dreading what is inside. I carefully pull the contents out, setting everything on the smooth marble. I go piece-by-piece, reading every slip of paper, every brochure included. It only takes me a few minutes to go through it all, but it feels like a lifetime.

 

This is my freshman welcome packet from the University of Washington. It has all the information on my classes, freshman orientation, and a reminder that I am not signed up for on-campus housing. The realization that time has flown so fast hits me and knocks the breath from my chest. I knew it was coming but it seemed far off in the distant future.

 

I filled out the application after I found out Embry had imprinted. As time went by and nothing changed for Jacob and I, I forgot about that snap decision. That is until I received my letter of acceptance a few months ago. My parents were so proud and excited, they began making plans for our move right away. I managed to push leaving for Seattle to the back of my mind; trying to avoid the inevitable under the guise that I had plenty of time to tell my friends about my departure from Forks. It was always _“eventually”_ to me.

 

In my mind I knew I had to tell them but my heart wouldn’t allow it. Even though I’m excited to reunite with my family in Seattle, leaving my friends behind hurts more than I ever imagined it would. Now that it is all in front of me I feel myself begin to panic inside. At the same time, my heart breaks, knowing I can’t put this off any longer. I have to tell them I’m leaving. _I have to tell_ Jacob _;_ I know I will miss him more than anyone. _Will he miss me?_

 

I feel someone behind me before I hear a sound. Inhaling deeply I catch the familiar scent of my mother. Her presence relaxes me immediately, as it always has. The weight of her hand lands on my shoulder. Neither of us speaks until I’m able to gather my emotions and turn to her.

 

“Have you told anyone?” her musical voice is sympathetic.

 

I shake my head, unable to speak around the bubble of emotions still stuck in my throat. _What would I say? How do you tell your best friend goodbye?_ I know it’s just a few hours to Seattle, Mom and I just made the drive today, but it’s not the same. Jacob can come over here any time. I won’t see him, or any of my friends from the tribe, like I do now, on a whim.

 

Mom brushes my hair behind my ears before I feel her thumb touch the very corner of my eye. When I look up, she’s frowning. “You know you don’t have to do this? You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

 

Taking a deep breath I try to vocalize what I’m feeling. “I want to go. It’s an amazing opportunity. I just don’t want to leave-,” I cut myself off, not wanting to speak the name on the tip of my tongue.

 

Mom doesn’t say anything, just nods her head in understanding and pulls me into a hug. After a few moments of silence she leans back and gives me a hopeful smile. “Esme has found your father and I a house just a few miles from campus. That way we’ll be close to you, but you can still have your own place.”

 

I force my head to move up and down. I know the entire family is anxious to have us in Seattle. Ever since Granddaddy Carlisle and Grandmama Esme moved there after my first birthday, the rest of the family has slowly followed them. The only reason we are still here is because of Grandpa Charlie and my friends. The people of Forks have no clue I’m the daughter of Edward and Bella Cullen. _If it were to ever come out, even as a rumor..._ I shudder at the thought. That is one of the reasons we should go soon.

 

“You need to tell your friends. It won’t get any easier if you keep waiting.” Mom’s lips press softly against my temple before she moves back slowly. “Why don’t you run upstairs and change? I’ll make sure your father doesn’t tell Seth his surprise until you get back.” I glance down at my clothes, surprised to see I’m still wearing my dance gear. My morning seems like a lifetime ago.

 

Mom is gone before I can respond. I take a couple of deep, calming breaths before going upstairs. I head for Aunt Alice’s bedroom, since she is the closest in size to me. I pass over all of her high fashion clothes, instead reaching for her hidden stash of shabby-chic. I’m pretty sure she stocks this portion of her closet just for me. I don’t come to the main house often, but every time I do, the perfect outfit is waiting.

 

There is a pair of floral print shorts, a simple tank top, and a loose fitting sweater; I grab everything and run to the shower. Once I’m clean, I quickly towel dry my hair, get dressed then head downstairs. Just as I reach the bottom step, Seth comes walking through the front door.

 

Every time I see him, I can’t help smiling. Seth has this easy, light quality about him that draws everyone in. It seems that no matter what is going on, he is always laughing and enjoying life. Seth is very handsome but somehow that is always an afterthought for me. When I look at him, all I see is my friend. As close as he and I are, I’ve never felt a spark with him. Never been drawn to him. _Not like I am with Jacob._

 

Seth grins wide at me as I cross the living room to him. “Hey Ness! The countdown is on! Forty-two days.”

 

He pulls me into a tight hug before I can ask him what he means. Once he releases me I manage to gasp out, “Forty-two days until _what_?”

 

He looks shocked, “Your birthday, of course! It’s all Jacob thinks about.”

 

I hear my father give a soft “Hmph”, but when I look up at him, his face is perfectly calm. I glance back at Seth when I hear him laughing loudly. I give him a questioning look but he just shakes his head at me. _Must have been something Dad read in Seth’s head._ Neither of them says more so I let it go.

 

Dad grabs Seth’s attention again and directs him to his piano, where there are now two large boxes set on top. _Odd._ I don’t know why he would be giving Seth a gift.

 

“What’s all this, Edward? My birthday isn’t for a few more months.” Seth elbows me lightly when I move to stand next to him.

 

“This is your surprise. Go ahead, open it.” Dad steps away from the piano, moving to wrap his arms around Mom. The both have huge smiles on their faces. Whatever this is, they are excited to share it with Seth. Dad looks like a kid on Christmas morning. It’s so funny for me to see him with Seth; you would never know that “technically” they are natural enemies. They act like best friends.

 

After Seth opens the first box, I peer around his arm, placing my hand on his shoulder. All I see is what looks like a picture frame. Seth lifts it up slowly then turns to Dad, “Are you kidding me? You actually pulled it off?”

 

“I more than pulled it off. Open the other box.” There’s a hint of satisfaction and smugness in Dad’s voice.

 

I’m still trying to see what the first box contained when Seth opens the second. “Seriously, Edward. This is too much.”

 

“It’s not too much, you earned it. I’ve never seen anyone so dedicated to studying. I don’t know how you managed everything. With patrolling, working and your assignments; I was thoroughly impressed.”

 

Seth moves to shake Dad’s hand and I finally have a clear shot. Within the two boxes it looks like there are framed degrees. Looking closer I can see they are from the University of Washington. The first is a Bachelors degree in Education. The second is a Bachelors degree in History.

 

I’m stunned. I knew Dad had been working to get Seth some sort of accreditation but I never thought he’d actually get him two _degrees_. Of course, Dad is right, Seth definitely deserves it. For the past two years, when he wasn’t patrolling or working, he was here. Dad taught him early on, then he brought in Granddaddy Carlisle and Uncle Jasper as needed for additional “course” work. Seth had wanted an education but wasn’t interested in leaving the reservation.

 

I’m brought out of my musings when I hear Dad say, “I’m just glad they arrived now. I was worried they wouldn’t get here before we left.”

 

My head shoots up at his words. _Oh no._

 

Seth laughs, “Oh yeah? You and Bella going away for your anniversary?”

 

I see Dad glance at Mom then turn to me. Dad clears his face then gives Seth a tight smile, “We are going away for our anniversary, but that’s not exactly what I meant.”

 

Seth stops smiling, his head now bouncing between looking at my parents and looking at me. Dad and I are having a staring match. Finally Seth asks, “What _exactly_ do you mean, Edward?”

 

My father gives a soft exhale then looks at me, “I’ll let Renesmee explain.” _Of course he will._

 

I suddenly want to stomp my foot in frustration and shout, “This was all your idea,” but manage to bite my tongue.

 

Clapping Seth’s back, Dad shakes his hand again, congratulating him. Mom gives Seth a huge hug, exclaiming how proud she is of him. They slowly back out of the room, leaving Seth and I alone. The room is quiet, neither of us saying anything. I’m trying to figure out what to say, how to explain this to him.

 

Seth starts pacing across the huge white living room, his dark form blurred by the tears stinging my eyes. He finally stops, but I can’t read his face through my watery eyes.

 

“Tell me it’s just them. That only Edward and Bella are leaving.” He sounds pleading and desperate. I don’t know why he’s getting so emotional, but I can’t worry about that right now. His words are like a fist clenching my heart. My hand moves to rub my suddenly sore chest; as much as I’ve been dreading telling my friends, I never would have imagined experiencing physical pain. I just barely manage to shake my head back and forth to answer his question.

 

“How soon? Were you going to tell any of us or just leave in the middle of the night?” Seth pauses, giving me a chance to respond. Just as I decide what I’m going to say he speaks again. This time his words are soft, worried, “Have you told Jacob?” _Why did he have to go for the jugular?_

 

However, his question confuses me. I can tell Seth is upset about the idea of us leaving, but he almost seems more upset that Jacob doesn’t know. _Why is Seth worried about my telling Jacob more than any of my other friends?_ I’m finally able to speak as my confusion at his reaction pushes aside the lump in my throat, “Not yet, but I will. It’s really not that big of a deal, though. I’m going to attend the University of Washington. We’re just moving to Seattle.”

 

“It is a big deal, Ness.” Seth shoves his hand through his wild hair. He takes a deep breath, then steps right in front of me so I have to crane my neck to look up at him. “Ness, your friends deserve to know this. _Especially_ Jacob.”

 

I feel my confusion morph to irritation. I know why Jacob is so important to me, but I don’t get Seth’s insistence. “I agree my friends need to know, but I really don’t see why Jacob is so special. I doubt he’ll even miss me.”  I know my words sound bitter and childish, but I can’t help myself. I’m sure he won’t have a problem finding someone else to hang out with when I’m gone. _Like Leah._

 

Seth is now the one looking confused, “Ness, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but trust me, it will _kill_ Jacob if you leave.”

 

My heart jumps at Seth’s words but I can’t be pulled in. The reason I’m leaving is because I can’t be here when Jacob imprints, or falls in love with someone. Through my pain, one of my many doubts about Jacob escapes. “He has Leah to comfort him.” As soon as the words leave my mouth they feel petty. This is the first time I’ve spoken this fear aloud to anyone else, but I already regret my words.

 

Seth takes a small step back, his eyes widening as he moves. Once he stops, his eyes roam over my face then he starts laughing. Loudly. He doubles over, one hand gripping his side while the other slaps his thigh.

 

“What is so funny?” I ask, completely annoyed by this reaction. My hands curl into fists.

 

“YOU!” he gasps out. He takes a few minutes to compose himself. When he manages to stand up straight and minimize his laughter to a random outburst, he responds in full. “You are what is so funny. You don’t _actually_ think there is something going on between Jacob and my sister, do you?”

 

I clench my teeth together, not wanting to answer him; so, I just shrug. Yes, Leah is Jacob’s second in command, so of course they would be close. However, recently I’ve noticed they have some sort of a special connection. He never talks about her to me, which makes me even more suspicious of what might be going on between them.

 

Lately I’ve sent him texts or called him and he hasn’t respond. When I’ve asked him about it, he shrugs it off, explaining he was taking care of something with Leah. Also, he doesn’t know it, but I’ve seen the texts she sends him.

 

_Got a minute?_

_Can we talk?_

_You coming over?_

 

The one that hurt my heart more than Jacob can ever know came last week while we were watching a movie.

 

_Need you._

 

As soon as it appeared on his phone, Jacob jumped up and was out the door, barely saying goodbye to me before he ran to her. I had to keep reminding myself I don’t have a hold on him. He’s free to go to Leah if he wants to. I don’t even _want_ to know what they do together.

 

I can feel jealousy building up in me again. I hate feeling like this, but the idea of Jacob with Leah makes my stomach hurt. I’m even more upset that Jacob probably doesn’t feel the same way; that his heart wouldn’t break at the thought of me with someone else. _Not that he has any reason to be jealous. I’m never around guys that live outside of the reservation. And most of those guys are attached._

 

Seth laughing again grabs my attention. When he pulls himself together, he returns to my side, dropping his arm on my shoulder. “They are just friends, I promise.”

 

I want to disagree with him, tell him about the texts I’ve seen, but Seth starts chuckling before I can say anything. “Besides,” he says, once again gasping for air around his mirth, “my sister is too much for Jacob to handle. I’m not sure there is a man alive that can take her on.”

 

He pauses, then grins down at me, composed again, “Trust me, there’s as much going on between Leah and Jacob as there is going on between you and I.”

 

His words make me stop and I bristle at them. As I consider what he just said, I step out from under his arm. My feet carry me over to the sofa without my thinking about it. I look up at Seth again, trying to see beyond someone I’ve been friends with all my life. He’s right, nothing is going on between the two of us. W _hy is that_?

 

While he was here studying with my dad, we shared “classes” together, Dad splitting his time between the two of us easily. After a while, Seth started arriving before Dad told him to or sticking around after lessons were done. We even started hanging out when we didn’t have classes. Nothing big, just talking to one another, commiserating over Dad’s teaching style, being friends.

 

Talking led to text messages, and I found myself texting Seth as much as I was Jacob. More even. Seth confided in me that he hadn’t told anyone about taking lessons with Dad. Because of that, I felt like he and I were in some sort of exclusive club; the only two people in the world that could understand each other.

 

In all that time, though, never once did I see Seth as anything more than just a good friend. What is the difference between Seth and Jacob? They are both wonderful friends that I can’t bear to lose. Both are handsome, strong, smart men that any girl would be lucky to know. I have fun with them, they both get me. There’s no big reason I can put my finger on for why I don’t have feelings for Seth.

 

I’m speaking before I know what I’m going to say. “Why isn’t there anything going on between you and I?”

 

“What?” Seth gasps, his nose wrinkling like he just caught a foul smell in the air.

 

I’m taken aback by this reaction, but I soldier on, trying to understand. “I just mean-- we are good friends. I like you. We get along great. Neither of us is-- with anyone...” My words slowly taper off as I lose my courage to speak. _This might be a mistake._ I probably shouldn’t have brought it up now, but I’m struck with the need to figure out the difference.

 

Seth’s shoulders drop as he exhales slowly. He moves to sit next to me. He’s quiet, examining his hands for a minute or two. Finally, he looks up at me, but his normally joyful eyes are sad. “I like you too, Ness, but we just aren’t like _that_.”

 

I have to look away from him. I don’t want to see him looking so sad, especially when it comes to discussing having any level of interest in me. It should hurt me to know that he doesn’t feel anything for me, but all I feel is relief. _Why do neither of us feel anything for the other?_ As much as I know it pains Seth to talk about this, I press on, needing to understand. I know I’m thinking in circles, avoiding the real issues, but I can’t stop myself.

 

“How do you know?” My voice is barely above a whisper, but I know Seth can hear me.

 

Seth taps my shoulder. I turn my head but I can’t look him in the eye. Instead, I examine his hands now. “I just know, Ness. I’m not the wolf for you.”

 

“You could be,” before the words are out I know I’m wrong, but I say them anyway. My desire to understand, to figure out what the difference is between my friendship with Seth and my feelings for Jacob pushes me past my lack of attraction to Seth.

 

Seth moves one hand slowly up. I follow the movement until I’m looking into his eyes. He gives me a smile; not sad, but sure of his words. “But I’m not.”

 

I want to argue with him, but my heart says he’s right. I wage an internal battle with myself. While I don’t feel for Seth like I feel for Jacob, he’s still a good friend, still a good man. _Why couldn’t he be right for me? It would be so simple. Maybe it would stop this constant confusion._

 

A few of my questions spill out of my mouth without me realizing it. “Have you ever been in love?”

 

I clap my hand over my mouth, trying to stop talking. Seth grins wide before he taps his temple with his finger, “No, but I’ve seen enough of it in my head.”

 

 _Right. Wolf mind share._ Seth has seen almost all of his brethren imprint. _That’s not the same though_ the rational part of my mind screams. _I need proof._ Something that shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing between Seth and I. That it’s not even a possibility. Clearly, I am grasping at straws, looking for reasons, but I can’t seem to let this go. _I have to know._

 

Pulling myself together, I sit up straight, looking Seth in the eye. I don’t blink as I make my request for proof. “What if we kissed? Just to make sure there isn’t anything between us.” I know it’s a ridiculous request but I can’t help but make it.

 

Seth cringes, even going so far as to stand up from the couch. He starts pacing again. He stops beside the piano then turns to me, his arms crossed over his chest.

 

“No, Ness.”

 

“Why? You like me!” I want to stomp my foot. _Is there something wrong with me?_ Seth won’t even kiss me? _Am I that repulsive to him?_

 

Seth is calm as he speaks, making me feel like a child throwing a temper tantrum. “Yes I do, as a friend, but Ness, I can’t do that. You should talk to Jacob. We both know it’s not _me_ you want.”

 

“We can’t always have what we want.” My frustration changes to anger. He doesn’t say anything more, just stands there calmly while I flip out internally. I want to throw something at him just to get a reaction. Instead, I throw my words at him, “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I want, it will never happen. If you aren’t the guy for me, there’s no way Jacob ever could be. He only sees me as a kid... a friend.”

 

Seth remains quiet. As the silence stretches on, my anger subsides as quickly as it flared up. As rational thought kicks in again, I try to consider another course of action to understand the differences. _Pleading. Possibly that will work._

 

“I leave for school in less than two months. Please, won’t you help me? I can’t go off to college without being kissed. You are the only one who can help me.” _Wait. What am I doing?_

 

He continues to give me the silent treatment and adds in a roll of his eyes for good measure. Finally though, he crosses the living room back to the sofa. I don’t look up at him when he stops in front of me. My heart is pounding at the possibility that he might consider my request. I need to understand why Seth can’t be more than my friend. To know why Jacob can’t be either. I don’t move though, afraid if I do so it will be to push him away. While my brain is wanting proof, my heart is screaming out that all of this is wrong.

 

I see him bend at the waist then I feel something brush the top of my head. He steps back, smiling down at me. “Sorry Ness, that’s the best you’ll get out of me. I’m not the only one who can help you, and you know it. Just-- talk to Jacob. About college, going away, this kiss thing. Trust me, he will want to know all of it. That’s the most help I can give you.”

 

He turns to the door after grabbing his newly acquired degrees but stops before he walks out. Seth’s normal huge smile is back in place. As upset as I am right now, it makes me feel better that our conversation doesn’t seem to have made him feel awkward at all.

 

“Hey! I forgot to tell you! My mom finally invited Charlie to the bonfire. He’s going to be there tomorrow night.”

 

“Really?” This surprises me out of my funk. Grandpa Charlie and Sue have been close forever, but he has never attended a bonfire.

 

Seth chuckles, “Yep! That won’t be awkward at all.” Seth’s sarcasm even manages to make me crack a smile. “Just think, if they ever get married, you’ll be my step-niece, or something like that.”

 

“Oh, now that would be awkward,” I give him my best fake smile.

 

He grins back at me in return, “No, what would be really awkward would be having your vampire mother as my step-sister. Talk about uncomfortable family gatherings!”

 

Seth winks at me before heading out the door. Of course, I know he’s kidding. I feel like I’m a part of the tribe because of my close friendship with everyone. The same is true for Seth; he is practically another member of my vampire family.

 

Unable to sit up straight any longer, I sag into the couch. I feel the tears I managed to keep at bay slide down my cheek. I feel bad for pushing Seth like I did. I know he doesn’t feel that way for me, just like I don’t feel anything more than friendship for him. My mind is so full of questions and I have no answers for any of them. Stupid overactive half vampire brain.

 

As my tears fall faster, I grow more upset with myself. I didn’t want to kiss Seth. What I really want, what I’ve been thinking about for months, is to kiss Jacob. _What if I_ had _kissed Seth?_ My nose wrinkles at just the thought. That would have been...bad. What would I have said to Jacob? Because, of course, Jacob would have found out; with the wolf mind link and all.

 

I pause in my crying as I consider this. _What would Jacob do if he ever found out?_ While I didn’t kiss Seth, I wonder if I had kissed Seth if it would have made Jacob jealous? I’m torn between hoping Jacob never finds out about my embarrassing display and hoping he does find out and is wracked with envy. Not that I want him to go after Seth. Clearly, this was not of Seth’s doing. No, I want him to be jealous of me asking Seth. So jealous--.

 

I sigh, my tears starting up again. I’m being ridiculous. Jacob just doesn’t see my that way. He’s my best friend, always has been, and hopefully, always will be.

 

-0-

 

Mom comes to check on me a short time later. She asks me question after question but I just can’t answer her right now. I’m exhausted and _embarrassed_.

 

When she catches on that I don’t want to talk about what happened, she just sits beside me, letting me cry myself out. Once I’m done, she takes my hand, leading me back to the cottage. We don’t say anything on our walk, she just hums a song.

 

She pauses at the front door, giving me a quick hug. She whispers against my ear, “If you want to talk, I’ll always be here for you.”

 

Fresh tears sting my eyes, but I manage to push them back as I nod. Dad isn’t in the living room when we walk in, so I use the opportunity of his absence to straighten myself up. I move quickly to the bathroom.

 

Once I’ve wiped all the tear streaks away, I wet a washcloth with cool water then move into my bedroom. I close the door and sink into my waiting bed. I drape the washcloth over my eyes, hoping it will reduce some of the swelling from my crying.

 

I close my eyes, needing a little rest after my long day. Plus, Jacob will be here shortly for our weekly movie night. I need to look as calm and relaxed as possible, because I now have one more secret to keep; he can’t find out what happened with Seth.

 

I am a big idiot.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** So, there you have it. We are off on the journey of another story. Hope you enjoyed!

 

If you haven’t yet, head on over to our page on FFN (www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/~stupidleeches) and check out the “Drawn to You” preview we posted in the “Let Love In Series Outtakes” story (Chapter 7). It’s Jacob’s point of view of an event in “Losing Control” but it gives you a little insight into his mind. Hold you over until next time.

 

 **Speaking of next time,** our plan is to post every other Tuesday. As much as we loved posting every week, given how hectic life  & work has been for both of us, we don’t want to over promise & under deliver. So, we’ll see you in two weeks with Jacob’s POV.

 

**DON’T FORGET, IF YOU HAVE PRIVATE MESSAGES TURNED OFF, WE CAN’T REPLY TO YOUR REVIEW!**


	2. Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: We aren’t SM. If we were SM, WH MIGHT have gotten arrested during the filming of BD wedding scene. BooBoo = Jail Bait. Sigh. He is such an adorable Seth, don’t even pretend like you don’t agree.
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> Dailyicandy: I agree that WH would have been arrested, however, I would have been joining in on the wedding night! I’m just sayin’. 
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> A/N: We had someone ask about the “Drawn to You” timeline in relation to “Losing Control”. It’s about 8 months later. Remember, Lillah found out she was pregnant at the end of LC and she’s now close to having the baby. Hope you enjoy Jake’s perspective. He’s so very close to finally getting to tell Ness.

** Chapter 2 “Not Always Rainbows And Butterflies” **

 

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

_It's compromise that moves us along, yeah_

_My heart is full and my door's always open_

_You can come anytime you want_

 

_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay a while_

_And she will be loved_

“She Will Be Loved” - Maroon 5

 

** Jacob’s Point of View **

 

I get as close to the cottage as possible, but stay far enough away so that Ness won’t know I’m there. Lowering my large wolf body down to the ground, I tilt my ears forward, trying to listen to every little sound. I can tell Edward and Bella aren’t in the house, which must mean they are hunting nearby. When Ness was younger, they would have me stay the night to watch over her, even if they were staying close to the cottage. Now that she is older, that has changed.

 

It’s probably for the best though. It doesn’t take a mind reader to see things are changing between Ness and I. Of course, I’d still put money down that Edward has read some of my thoughts lately. Either way, there’s no way he’d let me anywhere near his daughter’s bedroom now. If nothing else, for fear I’d tell her our, mine and her parents’, secret.

 

My focus narrows in on the faint light coming from her bedroom window. Even though this is her weekly dance day, it’s too early for her to be awake. My heart starts pounding, instantly worried for her. _Why is she awake?_

 

 _If she was in my bed, she’d still be asleep._ This thought shakes me to my core. It’s one thing to consider kissing Ness, which is a constant for me now, but beyond that, I’m still not accustomed to thinking of her in that way. Even though I knew she was my imprint the day she was born, for so long that meant loving her as a big brother or godfather. She was my world, but I never thought of her sexually. That started changing about a year ago; now more often than I’m comfortable with, I see her as the woman I want more than anything on this earth.

 

Not only is it scary to think of her that way, but these thoughts of her are so much more intense than I ever imagined they would be. I’m overwhelmed with the need I have to feel her red lips on mine, to put my hands on her hips and pull her close. Even when I just think of kissing her, it’s all I can think of, all my brain can focus on. The desire to tell her, claim her, and make her mine is all consuming.

 

I stop myself right there. If I continue thinking this way, I won’t be able to survive today. Her dance day is the worst day of the week for me. Not having her near me, close enough that I can be by her side at a moment’s notice, is the worst feeling in the world. Having to suffer through that feeling once a week is excruciating.

 

Needing to relax, I close my eyes and just listen, focusing on her familiar heartbeat. I’m so lost in the rhythm I nearly jump when I hear two sets of feet approaching me. I’m not surprised when seconds later Edward and Bella walk into the little area of the forest I’ve carved out for myself.

 

Seeing them, I’m glad I was able to control my thoughts about Ness. Now that I can focus again, my mind automatically shifts back to my original worry. I don’t bother phasing back, knowing Edward can read my mind and that he’ll tell Bella everything.

 

_Do you know why Ness is awake?_

 

Edward frowns at me then explains for Bella, “Renesmee is awake. Jacob is concerned.”

 

“I’m sure she’s just getting ready for dance class.” Bella shrugs, but I catch just a little worry on her still oh-so-readable face. Turning to me, she changes the subject awkwardly, “Why are you out here, Jacob? Shouldn’t _you_ be sleeping?”

 

I give a short bark of laughter and she smiles at me. I explain to Edward and he gives the message to Bella. “Jacob is helping Sam by covering for Jared. He’s taking a little time off from patrolling to be with Kim and the baby.”

 

“Oh, that’s very sweet of you, Jacob,” Bella smiles.

 

My only response is a growl of frustration and exhaustion. I don’t mind helping out, but it feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I’m trapped, waiting.

 

Edward gives me a small frown and I push back a snarky comment about him being the reason I’m trapped. It does me no good to irritate him when I’m so close to finally being able to tell her.

 

 _Forty-two days._ The countdown until her birthday is often on my mind because it’s also the countdown for my release from the prison Edward has me trapped in.

 

Edward looks resigned to the inevitable, so I know he read that thought. As much as I consider him a friend now, I’m getting to the point where I don’t care how he feels about this situation. Keeping this a secret from her has become more and more difficult with every day that passes. I’ve waited to tell her long enough.

 

“Just a little longer, Jacob.” Edward mumbles.

 

Bella shakes her head at the two of us, “You both know I hate this, right? It’s not fair to her.”

 

Neither of us says anything in response, but I agree with Bella. The only reason why I ever agreed in the first place was so I wouldn’t lose her outright. Bella huffs at our silence then turns to me, “She has dance today, but I’ll try to find out if there’s some other reason why she’s awake so early.”

 

I bow my head in thanks. Bella gives me an understanding smile then waves as she and Edward head for the cottage.

 

I stay where I am, listening as Bella and Edward enter their home. I can clearly hear the conversation they have with Ness. I manage to choke back a growl when Ness tells Edward she’s “fine”. I don’t believe her. I don’t think Edward or Bella believe her either, but they let it go. When Bella and Ness exit the cottage, I lift myself from the ground then shuffle off into the woods again, moving back toward the Reservation.

 

-0-

 

Sam pops in my head just as I approach the beach. “Hey man, you’re up early. Everything ok?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I almost laugh at myself as I use the same lie Ness just used. “I couldn’t sleep so I let Seth and Leah crash early.” I manage not to share with him the reason why I couldn’t sleep, though I’m sure he can guess.

 

Sam chuckles in my mind, “Damn, you’re turning nice in your old age. Almost a benevolent dictator.”

 

“The only dick I know is your brother,” I grumble at him. Even though Embry, Sam’s half brother, is one of my closest friends, I’m ready to kill him. He’s pushing my patience to the edge.

 

Sam sighs, “Give him a break. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to help Lillah out. Emily thinks the baby will be here any day now. After that, things should calm back down.”

 

“I hope so, because I can’t take him any more. I told him not to bother patrolling again until after the baby arrives. He’s useless anyway.” The sand is rough beneath my paws, but I take the opportunity of an empty beach to stretch my legs out. I run as fast as I can down the beach, grumbling in my head over the images Embry has been sharing with me these past few weeks.

 

Sam just laughs at me. “You’re one to complain. If Ness asked you to move to Russia with her, you’d have your bags packed and standing on her doorstep in ten minutes.”

 

“That’s different,” I counter. Instead of turning around, I move through the woods, aiming for the cliffs.

 

“You keep telling yourself that. The truth is, it’s not different at all. It’s just that you and Embry have different women at different stages of their lives. Embry is doing what his imprint needs of him, while you would do what your imprint needs of you. Same thing.” Sam is no longer laughing, and I hate him for being so damn logical. I don’t want logic right now.

 

This makes Sam laugh, “Sorry man, I’ll let you wallow in peace.”

 

As promised, Sam is quiet the rest of the morning. The next thing he says to me is, “Later Jake.” Then he’s gone, phased back to human.

 

I’m nearly to my place when I feel Paul phase. His mind is jumbled, not focusing on any one thing. He’s been like this for months. I give him a quick debrief but I get the feeling he isn’t paying attention.

 

My guilt kicks in as I turn back into my human self. Before he and my sister got married, I rode him pretty hard about not knocking her up before he made it legal with her. Now I feel like shit for acting like that.

 

Of course, no one would have ever guessed they’d have problems getting pregnant. Emily, Kim, and Lillah had no issues, seemingly getting pregnant right away. Not Rachel. After the first couple of months, they started getting worried. Kim ran a bunch of tests and came to find out that Rachel was having girl issues similar to Leah. _Gag._ From what they could figure out, even though Rachel had never phased, since she had the wolf gene on both sides, her body had been effected by the presence of the vampires.

 

Last I had heard, Kim was working on solutions with Paul and Rachel. I hope it happens for them soon. Rachel has stayed pretty positive through all this, as far as I can tell, but I can’t imagine it has been easy for either of them.

 

 _I should have asked Paul what was going on, gotten an update on Rachel._ Unable to stand or think a moment longer, I walk through the house, dragging my ass to my bedroom. I haven’t patrolled this much in years. Even though I’m not aging, it’s exhausting to be on guard so much. I don’t even bother getting dressed, my body dropping onto the bed. My last thought is that I’ll check with Paul tomorrow at the bonfire.

 

-0-

 

The dreams, or nightmares, are nothing new. I’m so accustomed to them that I’m able to stay asleep through the torture. My mind flashes between scenes of Ness walking away from me, Edward taking her away, her kissing another man, and her laughing in my face when I finally tell her that I imprinted on her the day she was born. Even though I know they are dreams, they still disturb me enough that my sleep is anything but restful.

 

My eyes are grainy when I manage to pry them apart. Looking out the window I realize I must have been more exhausted than I thought; it’s almost dark outside. When I check the clock next to my bed, the time makes me jump up; I’m suppose to be at the cottage by now.

 

Grabbing my cell phone I check the messages that are waiting. A couple of texts from Leah and one from Jared, thanking me for patrolling for him. I shoot back a reply to Leah, explaining I can’t meet her because I’m spending the evening with Ness. I toss the phone on the bed then stretch my body, trying to work out the stiffness in my shoulders.

 

I glance down and notice my dick is hard. _Nothing new about that, buddy._ Rolling my eyes, I ignore it as I pull on some clothes.

 

My phone buzzes just as I grab my keys. It’s Leah again. She’s snippy that I’m “blowing her off”. Ever since Embry imprinted, she’s been more surly than normal. I haven’t asked her why, though I can guess. Embry imprinting leaves just her and Seth as the only wolves with no imprintee. I’ve tried to make myself available to her more. To be there for her. So far, she hasn’t said anything, but I figure she’ll explain herself to me eventually.

 

However, when I haven’t seen my imprint all day, Leah is low on my priorities. Instead of replying I ignore her message and slip my phone into my pocket before leaving the house. I pause in the driveway, considering. _Drive or phase?_ Phasing will get my there much quicker, I decide. Stripping down again I stuff my clothes in the pouch around my leg and let my wolf side take me to my imprint.

 

-0-

 

The movie has been playing for an hour, but I haven’t been paying attention. My irritation with Embry, concern for Leah, and Rachel and Paul have been pushed to the back burner with a more pressing worry. _Ness._

 

Just like every Friday night, Bella and Edward went up to the main house and left Ness and I here in the cottage. The movie tonight was her choice and even though she selected one of her favorites I can tell she’s zoned out.

 

We are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, which gives me a clear view of her. It’s almost impossible for me to keep my eyes off of her, but she’s barely made eye contact with me all night. Her hands are folded on the arm of the couch and her chin is resting on top. As serene as she looks, I know there is something wrong. Just like this morning, something isn’t right with her. Her skin is paler than usual, no faint pink on her cheeks, and she seems distant, sad.

 

Unable to take it any more I finally ask, “You ok?”

 

She doesn’t even lift her head, just shrugs her shoulders and mutters, “I’m just tired from dance.”

 

I want to leave it at that, but I know there is more to it. I’ve known Ness since the second I laid eyes on her after she was born. This isn’t her “tired” face; it’s her sad one, and that concerns me.

 

I’m hopeful she’s changed her mind when she finally lifts her head from it’s resting spot. My hope is quickly replaced with fury. This is the first time tonight I’ve gotten a good look at her eyes. They’re red, like she’s been crying, and there are dark circles under them. My first instinct is to find out what has upset her and attack it; but I fear pushing her to find out what’s wrong will make things worse.

 

As much as I cherish alone time with Ness, I suddenly wish Edward was here. I’d give anything to have him probe around in Ness’ brain, tell me what’s going on in her head. Times like this, I can understand Edward’s frustration with not being able to hear Bella’s every thought. Bella and Ness are very much alike in their ability to keep their thoughts hidden.

 

What really sets me on edge is that this has never happened before. It’s a first, having Ness shut me out, and I don’t like it. My heart hurts knowing she’s not willing to share her sorrows with me. Taking a deep breath I hold it in for a second then release it a little too loudly. Ness’ head cocks to the side and her brows crease in concern.

 

“Are _you_ ok?”

 

I shake my head and brush off her question, but unlike me, she pushes back. “You sure? You seem irritated.”

 

I try to come up with an excuse that doesn’t include my worry over her. “Just normal Alpha stuff. It’s nothing.”

 

She sits up and turns to face me, her legs folded under her body. “What’s going on?” she presses. She’s a stubborn one, that’s for sure. And a big fan of taking the focus off herself whenever the opportunity presents itself.

 

I jump on the first thought I come across that I can use to explain my mood. “It’s just Embry,” I choke out. He’s the easiest one to blame and my second biggest irritation; my first being whatever is bothering Ness.

 

I try to leave it at that, not wanting to go into details. Ness doesn’t need to know that every second Embry is phased all he thinks about is Lillah, the baby, and sex. A lot of sex. Sex with Lillah here, sex with Lillah there. Apparently their doctor mentioned that sex can help bring on labor. The doctor also mentioned no sex for six weeks after she’s had the baby. His thoughts are almost as bad as when he first imprinted on her. It’s difficult, but I manage to keep my cringe internal as I remember all the things he’s unknowingly shared with me recently.

 

My statement seems to catch her attention, but I’m guessing it’s the distraction that has her interest. “What about Embry? Is everything ok? Lillah seemed fine when I talked to her today.”

 

The roll of my eyes is something I can’t hold back. “Oh, they’re fine. They’re great, in fact. It’s just dumb ass Embry and his broadcasting everything when he’s phased.”

 

“Broadcasting what?” She narrows her eyes slightly.

 

I cringe again, but I know this time she sees me; I really don’t want to discuss this with Ness. We’ve never had a conversation that touches on anything sexual. This is completely intentional on my part. Once that type of discussion is opened up I won’t be able to forget it. Ever.

 

Ness’ eyebrows quirk. I am very familiar with that face and I know she’s not going to let me get by without an explanation. I mutter out an answer, “The doctor told them they could maybe induce labor naturally.” Her head tilts a little and she waits, knowing there is more I’m not saying. “By having sex,” I barely squeeze the words out past my tightening throat. I think my voice actually cracks.

 

Eyes growing wide and a squeak of “oh” alerts me that she realizes what I mean about Embry’s thoughts. Her cheeks begin to turn pink, giving them that natural color I’m so use to seeing. The color gives her a beautiful glow that is accented by the curls falling on each side of her face. I roll my eyes at myself when I realize I sound like a teenage girl gushing over a crush. I can’t help it though; she is beautiful and I would be stupid not to feel something for her.

 

If the guys ever heard these thoughts, I’d never live it down. Not because of how I’m thinking about my imprint. In fact, it would be just the opposite. They’d never let me live it down because, to them, it’s about time I felt this way. This reaction to my imprint is completely normal, I’ve just been fighting it because of my promise to Edward. Unfortunately, it’s getting harder to fight every day. It jumbles my brain every time it hits me - that I’m physically attracted to her - but I love the feeling. I’m tired of fighting being drawn to her. For once, I need to give in, to appreciate the beauty of my Ness.

 

I watch her tongue glide along her bottom lip and I’m blindsided by the urge to kiss her again. Her lips are beautiful; bottom slightly fuller, a perfect Cupid’s bow on the top. Today they are pink, bare and now shining from the moisture. The urge to press my lips against hers is so strong it takes my breath. I’m not sure how to suppress it, but I fight with everything in me to not move from this spot on the couch. To move closer to her would be too much temptation. To move away from her would upset her, and me. This time it’s harder to push the thoughts away than it was this morning. This morning, I wasn’t this close to her.

 

I feel completely unprepared for how to make it through the next forty-two days until her birthday. The wolf is practically howling within me with the need to tell her. He’s impatient. _I’m impatient._ I thought I could handle waiting for her to become an adult. It seems like only yesterday she was that infant I was holding in my arms. To now think of her in other ways, it’s weird and yet absolutely right. To push that feeling back, to deny my natural connection with her, is nearly impossible.

 

As my thoughts are again focused on wanting her, I’m thankful she didn’t pick up her father’s ability and that Edward isn’t around. Hopefully Bella is shielding us for the night.

 

I shake my head and try to clear it to get myself back on track when I hear her speaking. “He- Embry thinks about _that_? Lillah would be so embarrassed to know that you’ve all seen...” she says, sounding a bit horrified as her words drop off.

 

“Oh God, NO! He wouldn’t disrespect Lillah by letting the pack see her that way. It’s just his thoughts are constantly on it. Anticipating when it will happen next.” I know this explanation isn’t right, but I don’t know how else to make Ness understand without flat out telling her the truth. Embry is so lost in his own thoughts he isn’t able to control what he shares with us. The other guys and I try to push his thoughts from our minds but it’s hard some days. There are certain things I don’t want to know that he shares. Like how many orgasms he had the other night. _T-M-FUCKING-I._

 

“Is it always like that? Do any of the other guys think about their imprints that way?”

 

“Yes,” I answer before I realize what I’m saying, “I mean, not about sex, but our minds are never able to shut down thoughts of our imprints. Not that we would want to.” The part of me that doesn’t want to deal with Edward’s anger hopes she doesn’t notice what I’m inadvertently saying by using “we” and “our”. The wolf, however, is hopeful she puts one and one together to figure out I imprinted on her.

 

She nods in understanding and I can practically see the wheels turning. I feel the uncertainty wafting off of her. At times I get the feeling she is afraid to ask too much of me; which is insane. I would do anything, be anything, tell her anything she asked. Of course, she doesn’t know this. Right now, all she knows is that I am her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems that isn’t enough this time.

 

Her eyes shift back to the television but I can hear every word she whispers, “I never really thought about you guys sharing stuff without meaning to.”

 

I’m tensed up, waiting for her to go on, wondering if she’ll ask whatever question is on her mind. Unlike my fellow shape-shifters and the other imprints, Ness doesn’t usually push; she isn’t nosy.

 

It does surprise me though, that she has never asked me if I’ve imprinted. Maybe she just assumes I can understand imprinting because of the mind link. I’m hoping this is the case, but honestly, her patience amazes me. Anyone else probably would have just flat out asked me after all this time, but not Ness.

 

As much as I expect it, I also live in fear of the day she comes out and asks me if I have imprinted on someone. There is no way I would be able to lie to her, no matter the promise I made to Edward. Everything would come spilling out of my mouth. There’s a weight on my shoulders that I know won’t lift until I can be honest. _Forty-one days and three hours._ I’m anxious and riddled with a need to look into her eyes, confess to her that she’s my imprint, and show her how much she means to me, holding her closely.  

 

She doesn’t ask me though, instead turning her whole body back to the movie; essentially locking me out. Somewhere between where she’s sitting and where I’m at, there is suddenly a huge wall. This isn’t the first time; this invisible wall between us has been making appearances too often lately and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know if it’s there because she suspects I’m hiding something or if she’s trying to push me away. Either option scares me because either way I have a chance of hurting her.

 

Moving a hand over my chest, on top of my heart, I massage the heel of my palm into my shirt. There’s an ache deep inside. The feeling surfaced a while ago but has grown progressively worse. In the beginning it happened when I was away from Ness, then it started happening even when I was with her. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that it’s all because I need her so badly, I need to be honest with her. There is a very real chance that I’m hurting both of us by keeping this promise to Edward.

 

We are silent through the rest of the movie. While Ness switches to another one, I grab us some snacks from the kitchen. My stomach is growling in protest, wanting something more substantial, but I’m more concerned with being here with my Ness. While I wait for the popcorn to finish, I make a mental note to talk to Edward, try to appeal to the part of him that doesn’t want to see his daughter tortured.

 

With the popcorn bowl in hand and resolved to figure out what I can do to finally tell her, I settle back onto the couch. Ness grabs the popcorn bowl from me, giving her impression of an evil laugh as she holds it tight to her body. When her eyes are again locked on the television, I decide to push through her wall. I reach over, easily pulling her next to me, using the excuse of wanting some popcorn when she protests. The opening credits begin to roll just as I finally feel Ness’ small frame relax into my side. The sensation gives me some relief and I can feel the tension easing out of her body.

 

Finally, she rests her head against my bicep. I lean over her, my lips hovering above the crown of her head. Instead of kissing her like I want to, I inhale deeply, allow her sweet scent to engulf me. The stress I have felt all night finally starts retreating.

 

We watch the movie in silence, but the wall seems to have been removed for now. When her breath hitches a short time later, I glance at the screen to see what is happening. However, that just confuses me more. The actors on the screen are laughing as they dance around a room. I’m suddenly struck by the idea that she’s not as relaxed as she’s trying to make me believe.

 

-0-

 

I don’t pay any attention to the movie. My mind is focused solely on Ness. I know as soon as she falls asleep. I listen to her soft breathing, adjusting my breath to match hers. My hands move without instruction, gliding over the smooth skin of her arm. I slide my cheek over her soft hair, the movement stirring up her scent. Just as my lips move over her temple, the door to the cottage opens.

 

I tighten my grip on Ness, but relax when I see Bella walk in the door alone.

 

“Don’t look so relieved, Jacob Black. That’s still my daughter you are holding.” Bella is speaking so softly it can’t even be classified as a whisper, but I still hear her clearly. She moves to sit on the other end of the couch. Her eyes follow the involuntary movement of my fingers along Ness’ pale skin. After a brief moment she glances back up at me. “It’s changing, isn’t it?”

 

I don’t have to ask her what she means. “Yeah. Truthfully though, Bells, it’s been changing for the last year or so, I was just able to hide it better. Now, I fight myself every moment I’m with her, to keep from touching her, from telling her. I know it’s only forty-two days, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. The pull she has on me- it’s getting so much stronger.”

 

Bella is staring at Ness curled up against me and finally speaks, her voice still barely a whisper as she shakes her head, “I’ve tried talking to him, but his mind is set.” She doesn’t say any more, but I know my chances are slim of changing Edward’s mind if Bella couldn’t even sway him.

 

Bella’s head jerks up suddenly and she exhales sadly. “Edward is on his way. You both look exhausted. Why don’t you take her to her room and stay with her for a while? I’ll clean up in here and cover for both of you.”

 

I don’t have to be told twice. I easily stand up with Ness in my arms. When Bella rises from the couch I lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Bella, this means a lot.”

 

“Sure, sure.” She winks at me but then she turns serious. “Just, behave. I understand, Jacob, but she’s still my baby.”

 

“I know. Thanks again.”

 

Before I can leave the living room, Bella whispers again, “Hands above the blankets, Jacob. I mean it, no funny business. I will be checking. I’ll cover, but you’ll need to be out of here by dawn.”

 

I don’t bother turning around, just nod in agreement. I can’t begin to explain my gratitude to Bella for giving me this night.

 

I manage to reach Ness’ bedroom in about two steps. I pull the covers back from the bed and gently tuck her in. I return to the bedroom door but before I shut it I can just hear Bella speaking to Edward.

 

“I caught an odd scent as I was heading back. I called Carlisle to explain and he thought we should go investigate right away.”

 

Edward doesn’t respond to her comment though, “What is Jacob doing in Renesmee’s bedroom?”

 

“He’s just tucking her in for me. She fell asleep during the movie. He’s going to watch her from his spot while we go check on this scent.” I’m impressed by Bella’s lying ability. It really has improved over the years. The lack of blushing probably helps, but still, there’s an improvement.

 

Edward sighs and I know she’s won. After one or two more questions from Edward, Bella leads him out. I exhale in relief when I hear the cottage door shut behind them. I ease Ness’ bedroom door shut, just in case Edward is still listening.

 

As I turn around, I hear an odd noise coming from the bed. When I get closer, I realize it’s Ness. I rush to her side, but when I reach her I can’t make out what she’s saying. My worry for her is so strong, I don’t bother removing my shoes. I stretch out as much as I can in the iron bed and pull her against my chest. My lips move back to her hair as I try to calm her down by running my fingers through her curls.

 

Her tension eases, but she’s still mumbling in her sleep. _Just like Bella._ The similarities between Bella and Ness are numerous, but as much as I see Bella in Ness, my love is only for my imprint.

 

She continues to mumble, and while I can’t make out actual words, I do recognize my own name. That is quickly followed by a sigh and her snuggling closer to me. In her movement, her lips press against my neck. I know she isn’t kissing my skin, it’s just an innocent touch, but the slight movement of her lips from mumbling feels amazing. I should push her away, but I can’t.

 

My heart is pounding so hard, I’m certain Edward will hear me. Locking my jaw, I manage to pull my neck back slightly, away from her lips. Of all the times when I’ve had to stop myself, this is probably the hardest. Before I’ve had to keep from touching her, but I’ve never had to pull away from her touch. This is yet another first as I try to get accustomed to changing our relationship from friends to-- more.

 

 _Lovers?_ My dick springs to attention and I groan. Even if by some miracle I could tell her tomorrow she’s my imprint, there’s no way we are ready for that. I pull my hips back from Ness’ body, just in case.

 

She’s finally relaxed again. She’s still mumbling but it isn’t frantic like before. It’s nice being back in her bedroom again, but it’s very odd. When Ness was younger, I would stay the night to guard her, and to babysit her. Tonight is not about guarding. The change Bella mentioned is overtaking both of us. I can feel deep down that this night is what my imprint needs, what we both need to give us a bit of peace.

 

So far the only two wolves that have fought against imprinting in any way have been Sam and Embry. I chuckle to myself at the irony; I should have known as soon as Embry started fighting the imprint that he and Sam were related. When everything happened with Sam and Emily, I hadn’t phased yet. Of course, I’ve seen Sam’s memories over the years, but it’s not the same as living through watching a wolf not be with his imprint.

 

When it happened with Embry, it was painful to watch. Even more painful was reliving his nightmares when he was phased. The more he fought it, the worse off he got. He wasn’t able to sleep peacefully again until he shared a bed with Lillah; just sleeping next to her. That one night with her made all the difference.

 

While I haven’t fought my imprinting on Ness, I did make a promise. Over the years I’ve had nightmares about Ness but they are happening more frequently. Between covering for Jared and Embry, work, and my sleep being interrupted by nightmares, I’m honestly exhausted.

 

I close my eyes and listen to Ness softly mumble. When she finally quiets completely, I pull her tight against me again. There are still a few blankets and our clothes between us, but my body feels like it is on fire with excitement at this touch. As close as we are, I can see her eyes moving underneath her eyelids; a sure sign she is deep in her dreams.

 

I pause for just a moment but my curiosity pushes me on. Reaching for her hand, I place it against my cheek. Bella taught me this trick years ago, but I rarely use it. But if Ness won’t tell me what’s on her mind when she’s awake, I have to do whatever I can to figure out what is going on in her dreams.

 

Closing my eyes, I watch the flashes of her dream against the black of my eyelids. She’s laughing and smiling as she talks to a group of women. As I watch the faces in the group become clear. She’s amongst all the imprints; Lillah, Kim, Rachel, Emily, and even Claire. Ness is so happy in this circle. She considers them her friends, though there is something wrong here. Almost like she doesn’t feel like she completely belongs; an outsider looking in.

 

Dark figures start approaching the women, but none of them seem scared. Quickly, I understand why. These are all the wolves. Each man stands behind his imprint, his hands on her shoulders, leaning forward as if he would use his whole body to shield her from anything that might attack.

 

Ness is alone in the circle, unguarded. She looks up to the group of wolves outside of the circle and she sees my face. It’s always shocking to see myself through Ness’ eyes. I don’t spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, but the face she has for me always seems too perfect. I push the me in her dream to move to her, to stand behind her and protect her just like all the other wolves.

 

When the dream me doesn’t move, she gives me a huge smile, jumping up from the circle to join me. I can feel her emotions so brightly they almost burn me. She is excited and full of something I can’t really put my finger on. Instead of pulling her tight though, dream Jacob gives her a hard smile and looks to the right.

 

Ness follows my eyes and her gaze lands on Leah. I can feel her emotions shift automatically when she sees her. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say she switched to jealousy. Before I can analyze though, she moves over Leah, looking at the last wolf standing outside the circle.

 

  1. He gives Ness a smile, but he doesn’t look like his normal happy self. And Ness’ emotions switch to sad. Her cheeks in her dream turn darker and her body next to me warms up. _She’s blushing? At Seth? What the hell is going on here?_



 

I drop her hand, unable to watch any more. I remind myself it is just a dream. _But why was Ness sad when she looked at him?_ Seth would never do anything to hurt Ness. He knows she’s my imprint and he has helped me to protect her over the years.

 

I close my eyes, trying to fall asleep. Just as I’m about to pass out, one thought makes it past the rational part of my mind. _I’ll kill him if he’s done anything to hurt my imprint._

 

-0-

 

I wake up when I feel dawn approaching. The sky is still black, but I know I need to get moving soon. I take a moment to revel in where I am. _Ness’ bed. With Ness curled up around me._ The wolf in me growls in satisfaction at that.

 

We are both still fully clothed, but somewhere in the middle of the night she turned around; her back now to my chest. She managed to free her legs from the blankets and when I look down her legs are twisted with mine. My hands did manage to stay above the covers like Bella asked, but one of Ness’ hands escaped. She has her arm wrapped around mine and is holding my arm tight against her body.

 

I can’t help grinning. She’s holding me tight. She wants me here with her just as much as I want to be here.

 

As happy as this makes me, I know it’s is a rare occasion. Bella can’t let me stay here every night for the next forty-one days. First, Edward would know and second, Ness would wonder why I was spending the night. No, this has to just exist as a preview, something to hold me over until I can finally have her. _Forty days and eighteen hours._

 

My heart stutters when I think of leaving Ness but I know I can’t stay here and risk Edward finding me. Bella gave me this night, but I can’t push her kindness further. I slowly work on retrieving my limbs from Ness’ grip.

 

Once I’m finally free, I slide off the bed. When I stand, I realize just how cramped up I was. It feels like I was stuffed in a shoe box instead of sharing a full-size bed with my imprint. _Next time, she will need to stay at my place._ I hold back my grin, thinking of a next time. If I have any say in it, when next I share a bed with Ness, she will know she’s mine. She belongs with me, no more standing alone in the circle. The pressure in my chest builds when I recall the loneliness she felt in her dream.

 

I move to the bedroom door when I hear her softly whisper my name. Turning back around I’m just barely able to understand her next words, “Don’t. Want. Leave.”

 

Dropping to my knees beside the bed, I first check to see if she’s awake. She isn’t. This must be another dream, but I still feel the urge to reassure her.

 

Leaning forward, I brush her curls aside. My fingers trace the delicate features of her face. She is so precious to me; always has been, always will be. I watch as my fingers outline her lips and without considering what I’m doing, I lean over her. My lips press against the very edge of her mouth.

 

I pull back quickly before she can wake up. My fingers twist in her hair as I whisper my goodbye to her.

 

“I don’t want to leave you, but I have to for now. I’ll see you tonight and I’m always here if you need me. Soon enough we can be together. When you know you’re mine, I’ll _never_ leave your side.”

 

Forcing my body to stand and walk away from her is like telling myself not to move while someone attacks me. It’s unnatural. However, for now, I must fight my urge to be with her.

 

Before I close the door to her bedroom, I whisper to her again, “I love you, Renesmee.”

 

I dash out of the cottage and move to my hiding spot in the woods. I quickly phase and I’ve barely settled my body down against the ground when I hear them approaching.

 

“Are you sure you smelled something, Bella? We’ve been running through the woods all night and we haven’t come across that scent at all.”

 

Bella approaches first and gives me a wink when she sees me. I give her a short nod just as Edward appears.

 

“I must have been imagining it, Edward. Like Carlisle said though, better safe than sorry.”

 

Edward grumbles something about missing a night with her and I’m grossed out even thinking about it. About that time Edward turns to me, snarling. “If you think that is bad, try being me, picturing you with my daughter.”

 

_So I take it you aren’t willing to discuss moving up my telling her to before her birthday?_

 

Edward crosses his arms and shakes his head, “No, Jacob. I know it has been rough lately, but you can cool your hormones down for forty days, seventeen hours, and forty-five minutes.”

 

I know Edward is aware that it isn’t about ‘hormones’ so I let that slide for now. Just barely. The truth is, I’m so rested and happy to have spent those hours next to Ness that I can’t be bothered to get angry. Not wanting to give him the opportunity to see my thoughts from last night, I don’t respond, just stand up and walk away from the clearing.

 

As I leave, I throw one last thought back at Edward. It’s a jab. _She’s safe, slept through the night for the first time in weeks._

 

Edward doesn’t reply but I hear him relaying the message to Bella. I don’t stick around to find out what she says in return. I’ll just let her deal with her precious, pain-in-my-haunches husband for now.

 

Running back to the Reservation helps to stretch my cramped muscles. Leah and Seth must have dropped off before I phased because I don’t feel either of them. I’m thankful for the quiet, especially from Seth. After seeing Ness’ dream last night, I don’t think I’d be able to stop from confronting him. I try to remind myself it was just a dream, but the way she reacted didn’t feel like it was that simple.

 

Sam joins me a short time later but today he is quiet, only giving me a short “Morning” when he phases.

 

Just as I’m about to return home, Sam stops me.

 

“I just wanted you to know, we are here to help. I know this time sucks for you, but the wait will be over soon. I know how you feel, but I also understand where Edward is coming from. Claire is practically my daughter, and as much as I know Quil is perfect for her, I would do anything to keep her as my little girl for as long as possible. Just remember, he isn’t doing this to make your life hell.”

 

Giving Sam a bark of thanks, I phase back, deciding to walk back home in peace. I need the quiet of my own mind as I sift through everything.

 

I get what Sam is saying. As shitty as this situation is, I understand that Edward is just trying to protect Ness. I appreciate it, but when I see her upset, I have a hard time agreeing with it. She is confused right now, and I feel like I am the one causing that. I hate it.

 

But, one thing is certain, these next few weeks are going to be the longest weeks of my life.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** DON’T FORGET, we can’t reply to your reviews if your private messaging on FFn is disabled. Jake says go fix that shit! Also, remember to check out our website for random updates. We also have a FAQ page there. Oh! And a tumblr where you can ask the “Let Love In” series characters questions. We know you want to talk to Embry, Lillah, Jake, Ness and the rest of the gang.


	3. Get so Breathless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SM owns everything, including Renesmee and Jacob. We are just telling their story as we see it.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: So there have been a lot of comments about our posting schedule. Trust us, we wish we could push this out faster, but unfortunately, life is just not playing fair with us this go round. NKR is now working full time, and has hurt her right hand; and WH is doing the work of about 3 people, which doesn’t leave either of us much writing time. In order to keep a regular posting schedule, we decided to go every other week. We feel keeping a regular, manageable schedule is best for everyone. We could post everything we have written, but then it could be months before we catch back up, and we don’t want to make you wait months. Seriously, the months thing is no lie. We’ve been working on chapter 11 for about 2 months now. Imagine waiting that long for that shit. So we are taking the tortoise’s plan of slow and steady so you can enjoy the journey to the finish line.
> 
>  
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> Phew. Now that that is out of the way, let’s get on with the story. Things are about to get VERY interesting.

** Chapter 3 “Get So Breathless” **

 

 

 

_Seems like everyone else has a love just for them,_

_I don't mind, we have such a good time,_

_My best friend, but sometimes, well,_

_I wish we could be more than friends,_

_Tell me do you know?_

_Tell me do you know?_

_Oh.._

 

_I get so breathless, when you call my name,_

_I've often wondered, do you feel the same?_

_There's a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity_

_When we're all alone,_

_So don't tell me_

_You can't see_

_What I'm thinking of._

“Breathless” - Corinne Bailey Rae

 

** NPOV **

 

I know I’m in my bedroom when I wake up, but something is different about the room I grew up in. I check the clock, and I’m surprised to see the time. As I stretch I can’t help smiling; I feel like I slept really well for the first time in forever.

 

I remember the awkward conversation with Jacob then him pulling me to sit next to him so we could share the popcorn, but after that I don’t recall much. I must have fallen asleep, but I have no idea how I ended up in my bed. I suppose one of my parents could have carried me but that doesn’t make sense. Normally I’m a pretty light sleeper, waking up whenever I hear them approaching.

 

When I sit up, I notice I’m still fully clothed from yesterday. As I twist my body, my eyes land on something I haven’t seen for a while; the pillow next to mine looks like it was used last night. I don’t ever touch that pillow, preferring my softer one. Mom knew Jacob liked a harder pillow so she bought him that one years ago. Back when he use to spend the night, he would toss it on the floor next to me. Even though he hasn’t spent the night in a while, I still keep his pillow on the bed, just in case.

 

Looking at the pillow now, I try with all my might not to assume it was Jacob. Even though I never touch it, maybe Mom brought me to bed last night and laid down with me for a while. Prepared to smell my mother on the pillow, I lean down and take a quick sniff. It makes me feel silly but I need to know.

 

My stomach lurches and I gasp. _Jacob._ The pillow smells like Jacob. His scent is so strong it is almost overwhelming to my senses.

 

I leap from the bed, trying to understand. My head is spinning and I don’t know what to think. Now that I can see the whole bed, I notice the covers are all messed up on the other side. _Like someone slept there._

 

Moving slowly, I walk around to the other side of the bed. I’m almost scared to find out if what I’m suspecting is true. _What if it is? What does this mean? Why?_

 

Pushing past all the questions in my mind, I force myself to inhale when my nose touches the comforter. _Jacob._ Having hunted all my life with my family and Jacob, I can tell how fresh a scent is. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Jacob left just a couple of hours ago, around dawn. _He was here? In my bed?_

 

I try to remind myself he use to stay the night all the time. It isn’t a big deal, he’s my best friend, that’s all. As reasonable as those thoughts are, I know they are wrong. This _feels_ different. Jacob has never shared my _bed_. Been in the same room, yes, but never in my bed.

 

Unable to stop myself, I sink back down onto the bed, stretching out on the half that smells like him. I wrap my arms around _his_ pillow taking deep breaths. Yes, his scent is very fresh, hours old at best. I decide not to think about why he stayed, what it means, and just enjoy the moment.

 

 _Jacob slept in my bed. With me._ That must be why I didn’t wake up. I fell asleep leaning against his warm body in the living room. I would have noticed the temperature change between Jacob and my parents, but remaining next to Jacob, my mind didn’t register that I was moving. My heart starts beating at double time with this idea. I hate that I missed even a moment of Jacob holding me. Even if it was an innocent touch, I regret I don’t have that memory.

 

Then, for some reason, after he placed me in my bed, instead of leaving or moving to the floor, he climbed in with me. My heart leaps into my throat at just the idea. I try to calm myself down with rational explanations of his actions. Maybe he was so exhausted he didn’t realize what he was doing. Or maybe we stayed out in the living room most of the night and he just brought me in here before he left. Taking a deep breath, I have to cross this last idea off my mental list. Not only is his scent fresh, but it’s lingering. For it to be this strong still, he had to have stayed in the bed for a couple of hours at least.

 

I tighten my grip on the pillow, taking another deep breath of Jacob’s amazing scent. I relish in it, my thoughts consumed with how he ended up here last night. When my bedroom door opens, I sit up straight, grasping the pillow to my chest like whoever opened my door might try to steal it from me. I feel ridiculous, but can’t stop myself.

 

Mom walks in and she looks very concerned. She takes inventory of the entire room and me in two glances. When her eyes return to me, they have softened. She takes a few quick steps before sitting next to me on the bed. She glances over at me still grasping the pillow.

 

Leaning forward, she takes a quick smell of the pillow then leans back with a gagging look on her face. “I love Jacob like a little brother, but that is just repulsive.”

 

An uncontrolled giggle escapes my mouth. That simple statement from my mother somehow relaxes me. I drop the pillow to my lap, but refuse to let go of it. Mom pulls me into a tight hug, holding her unnecessary breath after she kisses my forehead.

 

“Ugh, what did he do, rub himself all over you? I told him, hands above the blanket.”

 

I’m shocked by Mom’s words. _She knew Jacob was in bed with me?_ I brush my hand against her cheek, asking her something I need to know before I can get to what I’m dying to find out.

 

“Your dad went to see Granddaddy Carlisle in Seattle for the day. He’ll be back later. Until then, it’s just us girls here.” Mom’s smile is loving and I feel relieved that we can speak openly. No matter how private my thoughts are, if Dad was here, he would hear any conversation Mom and I have.

 

My next question is for confirmation. Even though Jacob’s scent covers my bed, I need to know for sure. My fingers brush her cheek and I ask silently, “He stayed here? In my bed? The whole night?”

 

“Yes. When I came home you were on the couch, sound asleep. I didn’t want to wake you by carrying you myself so I had him tuck you in. He looked so exhausted too, I told him just to crash with you.”

 

“Dad?” I ask, again putting the question in Mom’s mind instead of verbalizing.

 

Mom bites her lip, “He doesn’t exactly know. I might have told him a little fib to distract him last night while you two slept. Jacob was gone when we returned at dawn. As far as your father knows, Jacob just stayed outside to watch you while we were out searching down an odd scent I came across.”

 

I’m suddenly very worried. “What scent?”

 

Mom shrugs her shoulders and winks at me, “I don’t know what happened to that scent. We never tracked it down again and your father couldn’t find it when we retraced my steps.”

 

“You lied to Dad?” I’m shocked by this semi-admission by my mother. As far as I knew, she never lied to my father.

 

Her thumb brushes underneath my eye, “To see you look so rested, I would tell your father a thousand lies.”

 

I leap across the bed to hug her, tears are streaming down my face but I don’t care. I love her so much. Even though I can’t remember anything, I know for a fact now that Jacob slept beside me last night, and I have my wonderful mother to thank for that.

 

“Hey! You still smell like a wet dog,” she giggles but I know she is just kidding. I snuggle under her hair, my head against her shoulder. She rocks slowly back and forth, humming along to whatever song is playing in her head.

 

After a few minutes she whispers softly, “Did you tell Jacob about leaving?”

 

I shake my head in the negative. Mom sighs, “I know it’s scary, but you have to tell him soon.”

 

With my head tucked away from her view, I silently ask what is on my mind. “Why?”

 

“Why, what?” Mom asks, obviously confused.

 

“Why is it so important that I tell Jacob I’m leaving. Seth told me the same thing last night, but I don’t understand why it’s more important for him to know.” I pull my hand back from her face and lean away. Folding my hands I place them on the pillow. I want to scoop it up and inhale his scent, but I manage to stop myself.

 

“Renesmee,” Mom pauses briefly then moves her finger under my chin, pushing it up gently until I’m looking her in the eyes. “You have grown up so quickly and you are so smart, but right now, you need to shut off your brain and listen to your heart.”

 

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I try to cut out all other sounds except the thrumming in my chest. I feel her take my hand from the pillow and press it against her face.

 

 _What is so different about Jacob that he needs to know about my leaving first?_ He’s my best friend, but I know that isn’t what Mom is talking about. She’s getting at something that goes beyond our friendship, into the deepest part of my heart. _What does she know that she’s not telling me?_

 

“Consider this,” Mom whispers to me, “why are you holding on to that pillow for dear life? Why was it so important for you to know if he really stayed here last night?”

 

Her words make my heart stop for the briefest of seconds then start up again at double time. In those rapid beats, the answer to her questions is obvious, yet so scary I can’t consider it right now. The only response I can give her is something she already knows, “I like him. He’s-- important to me.”

 

“Is there anything else?” she asks softly.

 

I know what she is getting at, but I can’t say it, I can’t even put the thought in her mind. I can’t even really think it myself, because it hurts too much to admit it and risk that it not be returned. Or, worse, if I admit it and he imprints on someone else. _I don’t know if I could survive watching him with someone else._

 

Mom sighs softly, “It’s ok if you aren’t ready to say it.” She chuckles softly, “Call me selfish, but I’m kind of glad you aren’t.”

 

My eyes open at this admission but I don’t have the nerve to ask her what she means by that comment. She brushes my hair back from my face then gives me a smile. “The why has just as much to do with you as it does him. He’s your best friend and has been since the day you were born. At the very least, that is enough of a reason why it is so important that he be told. How would you feel if you were the last to know he was leaving?”

 

My stomach drops and I feel sick inside. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I was so focused on some hidden meaning behind the insistence that I let him know; the hidden meaning my heart is dying to reveal, but can’t put into words.

 

The truth is, I would be devastated if I found out Jacob was leaving, but it would hurt much more if I was the last to know. Nodding at her, I rest my hand against her cheek again. “I get it, thank you.”

 

“Of course. Now what do you say we go pay your Grandpa Charlie a visit? He’s getting cranky, says he hasn’t seen us in ‘forever’.” I’d love to see my grandpa and nod enthusiastically. She smiles at me and stands up. As she approaches the door, she turns back around, “Your father knows Jacob was in your room last night, but he doesn’t know about him being in your bed. I’d recommend we not mention that part to him. I’ll try to keep him out of here for a few days so he doesn’t catch Jacob’s scent on the bed, but you might want to keep your door closed.”

 

I gasp, understanding what she means. Not only will my mother protect my mind, but she is willing to help me keep this secret from my father. _This is huge._ My parents are always honest and open with one another. I’m so surprised that I can only nod at her, but that’s all she needs as she smiles brightly at me.

 

“Good. Now, if you want that horrible scent to linger, I’d recommend putting the pillow under your sheets. Meet you in the garage in twenty minutes.” Mom wrinkles her nose as she turns to walk though the door.

 

As she leaves the room, I can’t help smiling. _I love my mother._ I know she’s been around Jacob long enough that the scent doesn’t bother her, but she still acts repulsed. Even if Jacob does still have feelings for her, I know without a shadow of a doubt that those feelings are not returned. She sees him as just a friend.

 

As she suggested, I lift the covers and place the pillow safely beneath them. I wouldn’t mind a shower but when I smell just the slightest hint of Jacob in my hair, I decide against it. I dress quickly, managing to beat Mom to the garage. She gives me a quick hug then we are on our way.

 

-0-

 

Grandpa Charlie’s front door bursts open as Mom and I climb out of the car. He is wearing his usual non-workday attire of a flannel and jeans as well as a big grin as he motions for us impatiently. When he pulls me into his arms I giggle and cuddle into his chest. I take a deep breath, enjoying his familiar scent of peppermint and leather. He told me once that the peppermint is for his heartburn and the leather is from the belt Mom gave him one year for Christmas. The scent comforts me immediately.

 

“Come on you two, get in here.” Mom and I follow him into the living room of the little house. I love coming here, not only because of Grandpa, but because this place is so tied to Mom. Being here, it is easy to think of my mother as still human. There are pictures of her everywhere, at all stages of her life; from a smiling happy baby to her wedding day. There are a few pictures of her after her transformation, but not as many.

 

According to Mom, the house hasn’t changed since she was born. I know from her stories that this was a point of frustration for Renee, but to me, I love the familiarity of it. This place is comforting and homey.

 

I’m suddenly hit with a little pang of regret. Soon enough I won’t be able to drop in to visit. I will be hours away from Grandpa Charlie. One more person I love that I’ll be walking away from, that I’ll have to say goodbye to in a few weeks. I don’t like this thought at all.

 

I attempt to clear my face of any emotion as Mom disappears into the kitchen. I watch as Grandpa Charlie leans back in his favorite chair, settling in with his “Vitamin R” in hand. The TV is on but the volume is low, barely broadcasting a sports commentator’s voice. He grins at me as I tuck my legs under me; there has always been an easiness between Grandpa and I. He’s so quiet and unassuming that I feel comfortable sitting in silence with him. I’m thankful that he’s nearby and I am able to use this place as my escape some days. I’m truly going to miss him when I leave.

 

Abruptly, he surprises me by breaking the silence, “Tonight’s the bonfire down at the Reservation.”

 

I’m too surprised by his sudden statement to comment. Mom walks back into the room before the silence gets weird. She has two plates in her hands, both filled with a huge sandwich and chips.

 

Grandpa grins up at her as he takes his plate, “Thanks kid.” She looks happy as she settles down on the couch next to me. I take my plate in thanks and the three of us sit quietly while Grandpa and I eat. He moans happily through the first few bites and I notice Mom smiling with pride. I know she was the cook when she moved back to Forks and Grandpa enjoyed her food. She is just a natural when it comes to taking care of her family. Even with me, though I prefer blood over human food, I like her cooking because I know she enjoys preparing it for me. I love watching her twirl around the kitchen at home, humming as she makes something just for me. For that reason alone, the food tastes better than any animal blood I could ever have. And most human blood. _Except maybe Jacob’s._

 

Not wanting to think about Jacob right now, I force myself to concentrate on my sandwich. I manage to get through the food before Grandpa brings up the bonfire again. This time he asks me if I’m going tonight. This reminds me of what Seth mentioned the other night. Suddenly, I’m smiling as I turn to Grandpa, “Of course I am. You are as well, yes? I believe you’ll be attending with Sue Clearwater? As her _date_?”

 

Never in all my life have I seen Grandpa Charlie get embarrassed about anything. I could swear he is blushing slightly when Mom turns to look at him expectantly. “Are you, Dad? That’s a new development.”

 

Mom’s teasing is waved off with a flick of Grandpa’s hand but she doesn’t let it go just yet. “Took you long enough.” Her words are spoken in a playful tone and the smile on her face is as genuine as I’ve ever seen it. I know Mom is a huge supporter of Grandpa having a personal life. My family has always held a high opinion of Sue. I can tell Mom is beyond happy about this news.

 

“Bells, it’s not a big deal.” Grandpa shrugs, but the small smile on his face gives him away. Mom starts giggling, but he ignores her, continuing on. “I figured I’d just see what all the hubbub was about. Nessie seems to enjoy attending the bonfires.”

 

Barely containing my own laughter, I grin at him, knowing he’s trying to turn the focus to me. Grandpa and Mom have that in common, neither likes to be the center of attention. Understanding how he feels, I attempt to back him up, “They are fun and the legends are fascinating. I think you’ll enjoy yourself, and I bet Sue will be thrilled to have someone other than us kids to keep her company.” I glance at him but I can see Mom’s shoulders still shaking with the laughter she’s managed to contain until now. Grandpa doesn’t notice but he does seem satisfied that the subject is now somewhat directed away from him.

 

“Will I have to fight Jake for your attention tonight?”

 

His says this with a laugh, but his question makes me tense up immediately; I feel my hands starting to sweat and I’m biting my lip. _I’m nervous about seeing Jacob._ I don’t know how to answer Grandpa’s question. It feels like an eternity since I talked to Jacob, even though it was just last night. My entire world seems to have tilted in a whole different direction. Now I’m anxious to send him a text, but I’m blanking on what I would say to him. It also worries me that he hasn’t reached out to me yet. Normally we’ve at least exchanged a few text messages by this time of the day. We’ve never gone this long without contact. It feels wrong; like a part of me is missing.

 

I can hear Mom talking to Grandpa, taking his focus off of me while I calm myself down. I take a couple of deep breaths, reminding myself that Jacob has other responsibilities. I’m not his sole focus in life. Just because we haven’t talked doesn’t mean things will be awkward between us tonight. Once I’m calm again, I manage to catch what Mom is saying.

 

“It’s a great honor for you to be invited, Dad. Very few people outside of the tribe have been given the opportunity. As far as I know, the only non-tribe members to be invited to the bonfire are in this room.”

 

“And Lillah.” I pipe up, remembering that first bonfire when she joined us. She was so nervous, but she fit in right away.

 

Mom shakes her head a little, turning to me, “She was a tribe member the minute Embry impr-- saw her.” Mom manages to cover up the “imprinting” part of the story. Grandpa still has a very strict policy about us only telling him what is absolutely necessary. “Besides, didn’t you say she’s related to Quil somehow?” When I nod, Mom grins at me, “Then she was already part of the tribe.”

 

Knowing she’s right, I turn back to Grandpa. “So is this a real date with Sue? Are you picking her up at her house and everything?” I can’t help myself and tease him just a little, “Will you bring her flowers?”

 

Mom starts laughing beside me. Grandpa ignores her and responds directly to me, “It’s nothing like that. I’m meeting her there. I was actually going to see if you’d like to ride over with me.” He lifts an eyebrow in question.

 

“Definitely!” I grin up at him, looking forward to the extra time to enjoy his company. Pulling out my cell phone I use the excuse of Grandpa giving me a ride to send Jacob a text. Jacob normally picks me up for bonfires but now that I think about it, I’m honestly a little relieved to ride with Grandpa. I really don’t know what I would say to Jacob tonight if he picked me up. _Hey good to see you, by the way, noticed you slept in my bed. Plan on doing that again any time soon? Oh yeah, and why did you sleep in my bed?_

 

Seconds after I hit send, my phone begins to ring and I’m surprised to see it’s Jacob. My heart flutters a little as I give myself a quick pep-talk. _This should not be awkward. I should not be shy. It’s Jacob. My Jake._

 

It doesn’t help. All of these new feelings and worries have me tied in knots. However, as nervous as I am, I still want to hear his voice. I press the button to connect the call. I don’t know what I was expecting to hear in Jacob’s voice, but I’m taken aback when I hear a touch of worry, “Is everything ok?”

 

I can’t really tell Jacob the truth; that I want to spend a bit of time with Grandpa Charlie because I’ll be leaving soon. Especially since neither of them knows I’m leaving. I also can’t mention I’m relieved by Grandpa’s offer since I’m nervous to be around Jacob now. Instead, I tell him the first thing that pops into my head. “Everything is fine, just Grandpa Charlie offered to give me a ride.” I know my tone is kind of nervous, I can only hope Jacob doesn’t notice.

 

He pauses longer than really necessary and I feel myself tense up again. I know I need to tell him I’m going away to school but now isn’t the time. “Ok, just making sure. I’ll see you tonight.” His words are clipped and I barely get out of a “Yep!” before he disconnects us.

 

I frown down at my phone as Mom reaches over and places her hand on mine. When I look up, she and Grandpa Charlie are both watching me closely with similar looks of concern on their faces. I’m not sure what to say to them; instead I give them what I hope is a reassuring smile. Needing just a few minutes of quiet to myself, I grab our empty plates and head for the kitchen.

 

Turning on the faucet, I focus all my attention on washing the two plates. By the time I’ve dried and put them away I’m a little calmer, but still nervous for tonight after that phone call.

 

Pulling myself together, I return to the living room. Mom stands as soon as I enter, pointing out the time. Before we leave, Grandpa gives me a quick hug, “I’ll see you in a little bit. Go get even more beautiful for our date.”

 

I’m laughing as Mom and I leave Grandpa’s. She’s quiet as we drive, leaving me to my thoughts. As we make our way to the cottage, I decide I want to try something different tonight. When we walk in, I share the idea with Mom. She gives me a huge grin, “I think it will be lovely. Do you want help?”

 

After I shower Mom works on my hair while I play with a little makeup. She rolls her eyes at me when I apply some tinted moisturizer, but I need it to help hide how pink my cheeks are normally. I ignore her, adding a little eyeshadow and mascara to complete my look. Dad walks in just as Mom is finishing up my hair. I just see his look of surprise out of the corner of my eye.

 

“Wow,” is all he says.

 

Mom winks at me in the mirror, “He’s had over a hundred years to study different languages and all he can say is ‘wow’. Men.”

 

Before either can say any more, Mom kisses the top of my head and walks out of the bathroom, grabbing Dad’s hand on her way out. He speaks as he turns away, “Charlie is here when you are ready.”

 

Glancing at the clock in my bedroom, I realize my preparations took longer than I thought. I quickly pull on my clothes and grab my shoes and messenger bag. I’m careful to make sure I close my bedroom door behind me so Dad doesn’t realize Jacob’s smell is concentrated on the bed.

 

I follow the sound of voices to find Mom, Dad and Grandpa standing in the living room, talking softly. Dad pulls me into an embrace when I walk into the living room, whispering just for me to hear, “You look great, just different. I’m not ready for you to look so grown up.”

 

Dad rejoins the conversation, discussing what he knows about the bonfire. As they are talking, I blink a few times to stop any tears from falling at Dad’s words. Once I’ve composed myself, I ask Grandpa Charlie if he’s ready. His smile of excitement is infectious and I’m once again eager for the evening to begin. I look forward to these monthly bonfires and I can’t wait to share it with my grandfather. When I start to pull away so Grandpa and I can leave, Dad kisses me on my temple and squeezes me gently. “Have fun. I love you.”

 

Pressing my hand to his face, I return his love. I give Mom a quick hug, thanking her via my gift. She squeezes my hand, “You are more than welcome. Have a good time tonight. Keep an eye on Grandpa, he’s a wild man.”

 

Grandpa winks at Mom then takes my hand, leading me to his cruiser.

 

-0-

 

Sue is beside the cruiser as soon as Grandpa stops the car. When a giggle escapes, Grandpa glances over at me, “Hey now.” He pauses then points toward my window, “You’re one to talk.”

 

I turn my head just as the door is opened for me. I don’t have to see his face to know it’s Jacob. His hand reaches in for me, and I take it, letting him lead me out of the car. I’m barely standing when he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight to his chest, his face against my neck. When his scent wraps around me I remember the pillow that smells like him. I don’t dare ask him about spending the night but I find myself wishing he would broach the subject. If he wanted me to know he was there, he’d mention it.

 

“Sorry about earlier. You just worried me. I thought you were upset about--,” Jacob stops speaking abruptly, but since I can’t see his face, I don’t understand why he stopped.

 

Now I’m the one that’s worried. When he loosens his grip, I move my hand to his face to ask, “Upset? About what?”

 

“Nothing.” Jacob drops the subject, as well as his arms from around me. I feel a little off balance without him steadying me but manage not to sway. When he takes a step back, I’m barely able to register how upset he looks when his face changes to total shock. “What did you do to your hair?”

 

My hand automatically moves up to the top of my head. Frowning, I can’t quite look him in the eye, “You don’t like it?” My eyes rest on his chin.

 

“That’s not-- I don’t--.” When Jacob stops, I’m barely holding back my tears. Because it takes so long, I typically don’t bother straightening my hair, but I wanted to try something different. With the curls pulled straight my hair now hits below the middle of my back. As much as I love my ringlet curls, they make me feel like a baby. Plus, it’s nice to be able to run my fingers through it unhindered while it’s silky smooth.

 

“I like it, Ness. It’s just-- different.”

 

“Oh.” I can’t say anything more but I feel my face heat up as he stares at me.

 

He reaches out tentatively, his finger just barely touching my hair. My heart leaps, hoping he will do more; run his fingers through it, twist some around his finger, or even just tuck it behind my ear. He does none of these, instead stepping back away from me. He looks serious again, narrowing his eyes when they meet mine, “It isn’t permanent, is it?”

 

“No, my hair will be curly again when I wash it.” I’m a little irritated with myself; I don’t like feeling hurt just because he might not like how I look. I’m even more irritated by his reaction; he’s acting like I did something drastic instead of just taking a flat iron to my curls. I’m not use to either of us having such a strong reaction over something as simple as hair. It’s bizarre.

 

“Good. I like your hair curly. This is nice too, but,” he pauses, twisting his head to the side, “different. Very different.”

 

He starts walking and I fall into step beside him. “Bad different?” I ask aloud. I want to kick myself for caring, but I need to know.

 

“No! Definitely not bad.” He glances over at me and smiles in that way that makes my stomach do a little flip.

 

Before I can ask anything else, Rachel and Emily step in front of Jacob and I.

 

“Sorry Jacob, but Lillah wants to see Ness.” Emily takes my hand and starts to lead me away.

 

I can hear Jacob huffing behind me before Rachel speaks to him, “Don’t puff your chest out at me, little brother. We’ll give her back to you soon enough.”

 

Rachel joins Emily and I, linking her arm in mine. I peek over my shoulder and I can see Jacob standing in the spot where he stopped. With his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes locked on me, he takes my breath away. _Wow he’s hot when he looks angry._ I want to run back to him, but Emily and Rachel have a tight grip on me.

 

“Come on, we won’t keep you from him for long. Lillah just wants to see you.” Emily pats my hand to get my attention and I force myself to turn away from him. Hearing Lillah’s name helps, because I really do want to see her.

 

Emily and Rachel lead me to the picnic tables. Embry is towering over the small group huddled together. When we approach, Embry leans back to reveal Lillah sitting in a chair in front of him with her feet propped up on the bench of a picnic table.

 

“Oh my gosh! Ness! Look at your hair, you look so cute!” When Lillah reaches her arms out, Emily and Rachel drop their hold on me. I move swiftly to Lillah’s side, hugging her as tight as possible.

 

Just as I start to pull back, she gasps. “What?” Embry and I both say at the same time.

 

I kneel beside her and I can easily see her taking deep breaths. After a moment she waves her hand at both of us, “It was nothing, just a kick in the kidney.”

 

“Are you sure? Kim, should we take her to the hospital? I knew we shouldn’t have come out here.” I almost want to laugh watching Embry flip out. As funny as it is though, I know he’s genuinely worried about his wife. I know enough about imprinting to understand that if anything were to happen to Lillah, Embry would be lost.

 

Lillah is trying to reassure him that she is fine when Sam approaches the group. “Embry, come on, the girls can watch her. Emily or Kim will let you know if she needs anything.”

 

It takes some squabbling back and forth before Embry reluctantly walks away with Sam. “Finally,” Rachel huffs, “I thought he’d never leave!”

 

Emily kneels on the other side of Lillah, rolling her eyes at Rachel before taking Lillah’s hand. Now that Embry is gone, I can look around at the girls. Kim is holding Connor tight to her chest while Rachel sits on the bench next to Lillah’s feet. Even Claire comes dancing over to me, giving me a hug before she sits beside me on the ground.

 

“Any specific reason for the new hair style?” Lillah asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

 

“Not really,” I answer, though I can’t quite look her in the eye. She knows me too well.

 

Rachel laughing grabs my attention, “Well, if you did it for my brother, it’s working. He can’t keep his eyes off you.”

 

My head jerks up and I easily find Jacob standing beside Embry. They are both looking this way, though it’s obvious that Embry’s eyes are locked on Lillah. Jacob, however, is staring right at me. When our eyes meet, he gives me a soft smile that gets my heart beating faster. Our eye contact is only broken when he suddenly turns his head, like someone called his name from the other side of the beach. He twists back to give me a small wave then runs off across the sand.

 

“Oh yeah, you definitely got his attention,” Lillah giggles next to me. I don’t comment, and thankfully the girls start discussing other topics. I join in every now and then, but for the most part I just sit back and listen. I love times like these. They are all so open and welcoming, making me feel like I belong with them.

 

Before long the guys rejoin us, bringing plates of food. Emily and Claire move to another table to sit with Sam, Eli, and Quil. I wave at Grandpa as I see him sit down next to Sue. I can see Seth sitting on the other side of her, but his back is to me. This is the first time I’ve seen him since the disastrous conversation we had yesterday. I want to apologize to him for how I acted, but just as I’m considering heading over to talk to him my hand is enveloped in Jacob’s large one and he pulls me to my feet.

 

“Come on, I need your help with the plates,” Jacob grins at me. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my heart before smiling back at him. Then I’m being pulled over to the food.

 

He hands me three plates to hold while he starts putting food on two of them. “Charlie seems to be having a good time.”

 

When I glance over my shoulder at Grandpa, I can see he and Sue are leaning close to one another, like they are having a private conversation. I turn back to Jacob, smiling, “Yeah. It’s nice to have him here.”

 

“Do you mind sitting with him during the actual bonfire?” Jacob takes the two plates of food from my hand before loading me down with three bottles of water.

 

“That’s fine, but where will you be?” I follow him back to the table. He sets a plate and water down in front of Billy before taking the empty plate from me. He goes back to the food table and piles the plate high before returning quickly to my side. Once I sit on the bench, he climbs in beside me.

 

“After Old Quil passed, Dad asked me to take his spot on the council.” I nod my head in understanding, but my mind blanks when I feel his leg brush against mine. The heat coming off of him draws me in and I lose focus on what he’s saying. I reach down to pinch my leg, trying to wake myself up, but jerk back when I hear Jacob shout, “What the hell?”

 

I follow his eyes and I’m shocked to see the tan skin of his thigh between my thumb and forefinger. Gasping, I release him, mumbling, “Sorry, sorry Jake!”

 

Looking up, I realize everyone is looking at us. Thankfully, Jacob covers for my embarrassing display, “I’m fine, just a mosquito I think. Damn vampire bugs.”

 

There are a few chuckles before the group returns to their conversations. Jacob settles down again then whispers for me, “What was that for?”

 

I’m so embarrassed I can’t even begin to consider speaking. Pressing my hand against his face I do my best to explain and apologize. I skip over the part where I was distracted by him being so close. Even just thinking about it, I can feel my cheeks heating up with my blush. I’m sure the pink of my cheeks is easily visible even through my makeup now.

 

When I’m done Jacob nods then chuckles, “You know you don’t have to pinch me to get my attention, right?”

 

“Jake, that’s not--,” I hide my face, twisting toward where Lillah and Kim sit instead.

 

Lillah grins and winks at me just as Embry sits down with their food. She takes her plate from him then returns to her conversation with Kim. I’m fascinated watching Embry and Jared with Lillah and Kim. Embry anxiously watches over his extremely pregnant wife while Jared’s eyes don’t leave his wife holding his son in her arms. While my two friends talk about adjusting to life with a newborn, both of the men hover over them. Jared takes Connor from Kim as soon as she’s done feeding him. He holds the tiny infant in his arms as he leans over Kim, making sure she eats. Neither Jared nor Embry are worried about themselves, but rather their wives and children.

 

I suddenly wish I had my sketch book with me. I try to commit this image to memory, wanting desperately to draw it out. The love and devotion of these guys is amazing to watch.

 

The skin on my knee being pinched grabs my attention. Whipping around I see Jacob has a huge grin on his face, “Thought that would do the trick.” His hand slowly retreats from my knee, but I feel his fingers brush my thigh briefly. My stomach drops but I do my best to ignore the sensation. _I’m sure it wasn’t intentional._

 

He clears his throat then glances down at my plate, “Aren’t you hungry?”

 

“Not really,” while it isn’t a complete lie, I can’t imagine eating with my stomach twisted up like it is right now. “I had a big lunch at Grandpa’s.”

 

Jacob’s eyes look over my face, taking inventory. “I think we need to go hunting tomorrow. You’ve looked paler than normal lately.”

 

My hand brushes his face, explaining that I’m fine. He shakes his head though, “I don’t think so, Ness. Your cheeks haven’t been as pink lately. I think you need to hunt.”

 

Biting my lip, I exhale slowly as I explain to him about the makeup. I’m shocked to hear him growl out, “Why would you want to do that?”

 

When I start to pull away from him in surprise, he grabs my hand and presses it back to his cheek. He speaks softly now, “I’m sorry, it’s just-- I don’t understand why you want to look so different. The straight hair, the makeup; what’s going on?”

 

I take a deep breath then push the only explanation I can come up with into his mind. “I’m not a child anymore, Jake. I’m tired of looking like a little girl.”

 

“Trust me, I know you aren’t a child, Ness.” Jacob takes a deep breath like he wants to say more, but then shakes his head. He slowly releases my hand, placing it back on the table. He then leans over, “Eat a few bites, for me.” _These guys and food._

 

I don’t press him, even though I want to. I stab my fork into a slice of watermelon, watching in satisfaction as red juices escape the fruit. As I place the bright red bite into my mouth, Rachel and Paul stand up, requesting everyones attention.

 

When the beach is silent Rachel smiles and leans her head against Paul’s arm. Paul’s hand reaches out to hold Rachel against him as he speaks, “Sorry to interrupt but we wanted to share the news with all our family and friends at once.” Paul pauses for just a second, glancing down at Rachel as he speaks, “Rachel’s pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”

 

The entire beach goes crazy. There are screams of excitement and cheering. Most of the women rush up to Rachel, hugging her. Quil makes a joke about it being an epidemic and Jacob stands to shake Paul’s hand. The one person that doesn’t look excited by this news is Leah. She stands from the table she was sitting at with Sue and Seth. As she runs past Jacob and I, I’m just barely able to hear her words for Jacob. “I’m going to patrol. I can’t be around this.”

 

I don’t need to see her face to know she’s upset. Glancing up at Jacob, he looks upset too. Disappointed almost. He calls after her, “Leah, please don’t go.”

 

I hold my breath, expecting him to run after her. He looks conflicted, like he’s not sure what to do. This is surprising, because Jacob always seems sure of what he is doing. When he turns back to me and doesn’t take off, I slowly exhale. _Maybe there isn’t anything going on between them, like Seth said. Or maybe he knows her well enough not to follow her right now._ Either way, I’m going to take this victory of him choosing to stay with me.

 

I see Lillah move to get up just as Rachel breaks the hug Sue is giving her. Rachel runs over to stop her. My two friends are both laughing through their tears as they hug each other tightly. “Don’t you dare get up! Embry will kill me and I worked too hard to get pregnant to die now.”

 

I can’t understand what Lillah and Rachel say to one another after that, but they both seem excited about the news. When they finally break apart, I walk over to Rachel. “Congratulations!”

 

Paul comes up behind Rachel just as I feel one of Jacob’s hands on my shoulder. When I drop my arms from around her, Jacob reaches out and hugs Rachel, smiling, “Congrats sis. Glad to hear it finally worked out.”

 

She is positively beaming. “Thanks. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, we’ve been waiting to make sure the pregnancy takes.”

 

Lillah jumps in the conversation at this statement, “Wait! How far along are you, Rachel?”

 

“Three months yesterday. We couldn’t wait much longer, none of my pants fit and even my dresses are getting a little snug.”

 

Lillah’s eyebrows lower slightly and she glances over at Embry. He shrugs at her and she turns back to Rachel, “We need to talk later. You’re welcome to any of my clothes that fit.”

 

“Mine too,” Kim jumps in.

 

Emily laughs as she joins the group, “And mine, if they aren’t too out of style. At this rate we’ll be able to open a maternity consignment shop.”

 

Rachel hugs all the girls then moves over to Billy. She and Paul talk with him for a few minutes. Since they are distracted I turn around to Jacob. Pressing my hand to his face, I ask a very private question, “Did you know they were having problems getting pregnant?”

 

He nods but doesn’t say any more. I press harder against his face, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“I didn’t want to worry you, plus, there wasn’t really anything to share,” he frowns. I can tell there is more he isn’t telling me, but I’m guessing it’s private. I decide not to push any further.

 

Billy clears his throat. When Jacob looks up at him, he tilts his head toward the bonfire. Jacob nods then turns back to me. “Come on, I’ll take you over to the blanket I set up for you and Charlie.”

 

Sue and Grandpa follow Jacob and I over to a blanket directly in front of the area where the tribe elders sit. This is the first time in all the years I’ve been coming to the bonfires that Jacob hasn’t been out in the audience with me. I’m suddenly very glad Grandpa is here, otherwise I’d be sitting on this blanket all alone.

 

I’m just about to get settled when Jacob pulls me into a quick hug. His head drops next to my ear and I’m just barely able to hear what he says. “Seriously, be glad you are not seeing this.”

 

He has my hands pinned, so my only option is to lean my mouth as close to his ear as possible. “What?”

 

“Charlie making out with Sue,” he says.

 

I push out of his arms with all my might, just in time to see my grandfather drop a chaste kiss on Sue’s cheek. Sue smiles sweetly at Grandpa and I, waving as she walks away.

 

Turning back to Jacob I narrow my eyes at him and swat at his chest, “You are such a liar.”

 

“I am not!” Jacob is laughing now, which just infuriates me more.

 

While I don’t quite slap him, my hand lands hard against his cheek. I show him the memory of Grandpa kissing Sue’s cheek, followed by the thought, “I hope that isn’t what you consider making out.” The thoughts are out before I consider what I’m saying. “And I thought my father was uptight.”

 

Jacob pulls my hand from his face just as I hear a low growl escape from him. He leans forward, his nose touching mine as he looks me straight in the eye. “Definitely not. I’m not uptight, especially in that department, and I am _nothing_ like your father.”

 

Before I can say anything else, he turns around and walks away from me. I stand there, watching him join Billy and Sue, completely shocked. I’ve never seen Jacob bristle like that before.

 

“Nessie, we probably need to sit down. Billy’s about to start.” Grandpa grabs my hand and pulls me back to sit on the blanket. For once, I don’t pay attention to the stories told. I keep my eyes on Grandpa, unable to look up at the group Jacob is seated with. If I were to look up, I would automatically search him out. I can feel his stare locked on me. The one time I look at him it sends a shiver up my spine and I have to jerk my eyes back down, but the image of Jacob looking authoritative and incredibly beautiful is burned in my mind.

 

To keep myself distracted I start looking around the circle of blankets and large pieces of drift wood. Seeing all of my friends look so happy helps to ease my tension. It’s not until my eyes land on Seth that I realize I never did get to apologize to him. I’m relieved to see him give me a huge smile.

 

I wave, but instead of smiling, I mouth out, “I’m sorry.”

 

I’m not sure what response I expect from him, but I feel my whole body relax when he shrugs, smiles and mouths back, “No worries.”

 

Knowing he isn’t upset with me helps me to finally return his smile. Seth’s eyes cut away from me for the briefest of seconds and I see his smile disappear. When his eyes catch mine again, he nods his head toward the bonfire. I turn to see what he’s looking at and I’m shocked to find Jacob no longer looking at me, but glaring at Seth. The more of him I take in, the more I realize he is seriously _angry_ about something. His hands are shaking and he is grinding his teeth.

 

I turn back to Seth to see what is going on but he’s no longer looking this way. As I watch, my eyes darting between the two men, I see Seth shrug at Jacob. This doesn’t seem to make Jacob any happier, but he stops looking at Seth. However, the moment of relief I feel from the tense look being broken between them vanishes when Jacob’s eyes lock with mine.

 

I almost gasp from the intensity of his stare but I can’t make my throat work. I’m barely able to breathe, taking short gulps of air in through my mouth. I can feel my heart shaking my chest it’s beating so fast. I have no control over my body, I’m now completely at the mercy of Jacob and what he’s doing to me with his eyes.

 

Jacob does not break his eye contact with me until Sue steps in front of him after Billy finishes up. I finally manage to take a few deep breaths and slow my heart down just as Grandpa stands up from the blanket.

 

“Those were some fantastic stories. No wonder you like coming here so much.” He reaches out a hand to help me stand. I take it, but he gives me a weird look when I’m back on my feet. “You ok, Nessie?”

 

“I’m fine, Grandpa, just tired.” Which is the truth; I feel like I just ran ten marathons, in a row.

 

“In that case, how about I take you home?” I nod my head in agreement, suddenly very eager to get home. I want to be somewhere comfortable after this evening. “I’m just going to tell Sue goodnight.”

 

Grandpa Charlie walks away, leaving me standing on the blanket. I lean over to grab my messenger bag but I see a shadow approaching as I stand back up. I’m not surprised when I see Jacob standing beside me. “Do you need a ride home?” His voice is rougher sounding than normal.

 

I shake my head in the negative, “Grandpa offered to give me a ride home.” I pause, but go ahead and ask the question any way, “Will I see you later?”

 

He doesn’t respond right away and I can’t read his face. His hands are still shaking like he’s barely keeping himself from phasing, which doesn’t make sense to me. _What was going on between him and Seth that has upset him so much?_ Before I can build up the courage to ask him, he nods in response to my last question, “Yeah, I’ve got some stuff to wrap up here, but I’ll be over in a little while.”

 

Without another word, he pulls me into his arms. My arms are pinned to his chest but I don’t mind, this is my favorite kind of hug from Jacob. Both of his arms have me locked tight against him and I feel his head lower down over mine. I wonder for the briefest of seconds if this is how he held me last night, but I don’t stop to consider any further. Instead, I just enjoy the feeling of being protected by him.

 

When Jacob reluctantly releases me, I slowly take a step back. I give my farewells to the group, telling Lillah to let me know if anything happens, even if it’s the middle of the night. She laughs but promises I’ll be amongst the first to know.

 

Grandpa takes me home, but only unlocks the car doors when I promise to stop by for lunch with him this week. I give him a quick kiss on his cheek then slide out of the car. Waving at him one last time, I head for the cottage as soon as I see the cruiser disappear around the corner.

 

Mom and Dad are surprised to see me home so early, but I explain about Jacob’s new responsibilities since Old Quil passed. They both still give me a look, but let me go without comment. It’s a huge relief when I’m in my bedroom a few minutes later.

 

I stand in the middle of my room, trying to decide what to do next. When I see my reflection in the mirror, I barely recognize myself with straight hair. After Jacob’s reaction earlier, I decide to go ahead and take a quick shower. I want to be irritated that I’m going back to my natural curls just because he apparently prefers them, but I can’t be. I want Jacob to find me attractive, and if the curls accomplish that, then I’m willing to change back.

 

I want to take my time in the shower, but I’m anxious to see Jacob again. Once I’m in my room and dressed in my favorite pajamas, I send Jacob a quick text.

 

_I’m home. See you soon? ~N_

 

I set the phone on the table beside my bed and pull out my sketch pad. Once I get settled, I find myself consumed with the strokes my pencil is making. Usually when I start a new drawing I just let my hand move along the paper, not really having a plan for what I’m creating. This time I know what I want to draw; the scene from the beach, Embry standing protectively by Lillah and Jared hovering over Kim and baby Connor. I pause when I realize I’m almost halfway through the preliminary sketch and I still haven’t heard from Jacob. I double check my phone, but there’s nothing.

 

Now that I’ve stopped drawing, the exhaustion hits me again. _Maybe he just got dragged into some wolf business and couldn’t get free. Then again, given how upset he looked earlier, maybe he’s just avoiding me. Maybe he went after Leah. Or he’s celebrating with Rachel and Paul. That is just a whole lot of maybes._

 

Not wanting to consider all the possibilities, I go ahead and turn off my light. Sliding under the covers, I put my back to the side of the bed that Jacob slept on last night. I’m dying to grab the pillow from under the blankets, to check if it still smells like him, but I don’t. Instead, I close my eyes. Even though tonight I couldn’t tell him about leaving for college, I know I have to start breaking away from him. It looks like this will be a first step, unfortunately, Jacob is the one taking it.

 

The last thing I remember is making a promise to myself that I will tell him about school tomorrow; I can’t wait any longer.

 

-0-

 

It feels like I’ve just closed my eyes when I hear movement in the house and outside. _Something is going on._ I can’t figure out if it is a dream or real until I distinctly hear Jacob. I sit up straight as soon as I hear him shouting. Straining my ears, I do my best to make sure I hear every word Jacob says.

 

“How dare you take her away from me before I can even tell her? We had a fucking _deal_. A deal you forced me into, you son of a--.”

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** What?! WE KNOW. WE. KNOW. Don’t hate us for the cliffy. You just need to see what happened from Jacob’s POV. REMEMBER, if you have private messages disabled, we can’t reply to your review. Thanks to MoreThanHuman and DailyiCandy for their skillz. We post teasers on stupidleeches dot com. Check that out. See you in two weeks! 


	4. To Keep You By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: In case you missed the memo, not SM, just NKR & WH playing with her characters.
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> A/N: This chapter does overlap with 3, but there is a lot of stuff that Ness didn’t know was going. So far this is the only overlap chapter we’ve written. Enjoy!
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> PS - Yes, we used Bruno Mars from the “Breaking Dawn” soundtrack.

** Chapter 4 “To Keep You By My Side” **

 

_So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'_

_To keep you by my side_

_To keep you from walkin' out the door._

 

_'Cause there'll be no sunlight_

_If I lose you, baby_

_There'll be no clear skies_

_If I lose you, baby_

_Just like the clouds_

_My eyes will do the same, if you walk away_

_Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain_

“It Will Rain” - Bruno Mars

 

** JPOV **

 

“You know that thing makes calls as well as receives them, right?” Quil snorts as he slaps me on the back.

 

Ignoring him, I shove my phone in my back pocket. After spending the night at the cottage I hated leaving Ness this morning and it’s eating at me that I haven’t talked to her at all today. I’m dying to call or text her, but I have no clue what to say. _Had a great time sharing your bed last night. Let’s do it again soon. You know, because you’re my imprint._

 

“Yo! Jake!” I reluctantly glance up at Quil, dreading what he’ll say next. He points at my jeans and shouts, “Your ass is beeping.”

 

It takes my mind a moment to process what he just said, but my hands move automatically. By the time I grasp his meaning, my phone is in front of my eyes.

 

_Riding with Grandpa Charlie to bonfire tonight. ~N_

 

 _What does that mean? She always rides with me to the bonfires. What’s changed?_ My heart starts thundering, worry coursing through my veins as I hit the button to call her. When the phone rings for the third time and she still hasn’t picked up, I turn away from the group on the beach, aiming for the woods. _If I get her voice mail, I’ll phase and go to her._

 

I stop where I am when I hear her voice, “H-Hey.” She sounds nervous, which sends me closer to full panic mode.

 

“Is everything ok?” I barely choke the words out through my clenched teeth. _If I get even a hint that something isn’t right, I’m hitting the woods and finding her._

 

She doesn’t say anything, but her shallow breathing is another concern for me. _Why is she having a hard time breathing? What the hell is going on?_

 

She finally gasps out, “Everything is fine, just Grandpa Charlie offered to give me a ride.”

 

When she doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t give me any further clues, I drop it. I can only hope she’ll tell me what’s happening when she’s ready. _If not, I don’t care what Bella thinks, Edward is going to take a listen in that head of hers and tell me what’s going on._

 

Taking a deep breath I reassure myself she is safe. She’s with either Charlie or Bella, or both. They will take care of her until she can return to me tonight. Closing my eyes, I speak quickly, “Ok, just making sure. I’ll see you tonight.”

 

I pull the phone away from my ear just as she says, “Yep!” As much as I’m dying to ask her more, I don’t respond, ending the call to prevent myself from pushing her for answers. My heart sinks when the phone goes black again.

 

Unable to move, I stay where I am; trying to let the ocean waves calm me. I hear Quil approaching but choose not to acknowledge him. He claps a hand on my shoulder before elbowing me.

 

“Isn’t technology great? Aren’t you glad I told you that thing makes calls too?”

 

Clenching my fist, I quickly make contact with his stomach. I know it doesn’t hurt him, but it makes me feel better to get a solid gut punch in, at least to knock that smug grin off his face.

 

“I don’t need technology to make you shut the fuck up. How about we talk again in eight or ten years when you have to deal with this.”

 

Quil straightens, but he isn’t quite smiling now. “See, the difference is, Claire knows she belongs with me. She never has to wonder where she stands.”

 

“Back off, Quil.” Sam pipes up as he runs across the beach to join us. “You ok, Jake?”

 

I nod and Sam turns back to Quil, “Just remember, when it comes to Claire, you still have to deal with me. She might know she’s your imprint, but you won’t get anywhere near her until her thirtieth birthday if I have any say in it.”

 

Not wanting to get in the middle of this conversation, I tilt my head toward the forest when Sam glances over at me. He gives me a quick acknowledgement just as Quil starts whining like a little girl.

 

I strip as I approach the trees and phase when I’m far enough into the forest. Once phased, I stretch my muscles and clear my mind. I need to be focused to make it through the bonfire tonight; and the wait until I can finally see Ness again.

 

-0-

 

When Charlie’s cruiser pulls up, I drop what I’m doing and run to the passenger side. I feel like I can breathe again now that my Ness is finally here. I see her smirking at Charlie as they roll to a stop. All I want to do is hug her, see her face and make sure she’s ok. I’m pulling the door open and holding my hand out to her before Charlie has even cut the engine.

 

Ness places her hand in mine and the release of tension is like a pin in a balloon. I tug on her hand to pull her closer to me and that’s all the invitation she needs. Her petite body curls against mine as I bury my face in her neck, burrowing under her thick hair to inhale her sweet scent.

 

Words of apology are tumbling out of my mouth but I stop myself short before I mention my real concern. I don’t want to mention my staying over last night. As much as I’m dying to ask her, see if she even noticed, the last thing I want or need to do is blurt it out here; in front of everyone. I relax my grip on her, pulling back slightly so I can finally take a look at her. Before my eyes can move past her face, Ness places her hand on my cheek. That simple touch travels through my body unexpectedly, sending blood flowing south to an inconvenient location. _Suddenly I’m glad I relaxed my grip. Don’t want to scare her away._

 

Her silent question is hard for me to answer. There were obviously a lot of things I thought she might be upset about. While my sharing her bed is the top of the list, there could be a million other reasons why she’d be upset with me. Instead of answering her question, I chicken out. “Nothing.” I shake my head slowly and drop my arms from around her.

 

Now that there is more distance between us, I can finally gaze down at her. I don’t know if it’s the tilt of her head or the light from the setting sun hitting her face, but she looks breathtaking. Then I realize her hair is different. The curls are gone, replaced by silky smoothness. I’ve never seen her like this before and while she’s always beautiful to me, this is different. She is no longer the little girl, Nessie, whom I cared for as a child. Before me is a woman, Ness, that I want with everything in me.

 

My voice sounds weird even to my own ears when I ask her, “What did you do to your hair?”

 

Her frown makes my heart ache and I want to kick myself for saying something so dumb to her. I stumble over my words in my rush to reassure her I don’t dislike it. Before I make a complete ass of myself, I stop speaking. Taking a calming breath, I finally manage to say what I mean, “I like it, Ness. It’s just-- different.”

 

Her whispered “Oh” is accompanied by a soft blush moving up her neck. As I watch her cheek color deepen, I reach a hand out to touch her hair. It’s not like I’ve never done so before but this time it’s different. I can feel her anticipation just like it is my own. I want to find out what it would feel like to run my fingers through her hair, from her scalp to the very ends. It looks longer like this, with the curls not taking up the length of it.

 

As much as I want to feel all of her hair, I stop myself at just a brief touch. The softness is amazing between my fingers, but I miss the curls that I naturally associate with her. As I step back again, I can’t help but to worry that her curls are gone forever. “It isn’t permanent, is it?”

 

I want to pull the words back as soon as they are out, realizing my mistake when her eyes narrow just slightly and flick away. _I’m a dumb ass._

 

“No, my hair will be curly again when I wash it.”

 

I can hear the irritation in her voice, but I can’t help being relieved. The dumb ass in me vocalizes that relief. “Good. I like your hair curly.” I cringe internally at my own stupid words. “This is nice too, but,” I want to explain that she doesn’t look bad, but my words are all jumbled in my brain. I can’t very well tell her it makes her look older, pushing me even more to see her through different eyes. Instead I manage to choke out, “Different. Very different.”

 

When I look up, I realize we are still standing beside Charlie’s cruiser. Turning slowly, I move to join the rest of the tribe down on the beach. I can feel her beside me, but I know she is still thinking. “Bad different?” I’m surprised only by the fact that she actually asked her question aloud.

 

“No! Definitely not bad.” I quickly respond, giving her what I hope is a sincere smile that will reassure her. I want to tell her she would be lovely to me no matter how she looks, but I can’t tell her that without telling her everything.

 

Before I can change the subject to something more neutral, Rachel and Emily are there, right in my face. _Great._ I battle with myself not to roll my eyes at the intrusion.

 

Emily at least sounds apologetic that she is here to take Ness away from me. I understand that Lillah and Ness are close, and I know Embry’s wife isn’t very mobile right now. I get it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Ness just got here and I’m not ready to give her up yet. Spending the night with her didn’t do anything to ease the pull I feel when she’s not near me; if anything, it made it worse. I had just hoped I would get to spend a few minutes with her before the bonfire begins.

 

Before I can even protest, Emily is taking her away from me. I take a deep breath, ready to fight to keep her by my side.

 

“Don’t puff your chest out at me, little brother.” I twist to see Rachel still standing beside me. _Sisters._ As much as I want to tell her what she can do with her little sarcastic comment, I bite my tongue. I don’t want to upset Rachel, given how happy she looks right now. When she sees I’m not going to continue to fight, she gives me a quick hug and a wink, “We’ll give her back to you soon enough.”

 

I roll my eyes as Rachel runs to catch up with Emily and Ness. I ignore the wolf in me screaming to go after her, to take back what is mine. I should be used to this by now. Crossing my arms over my chest, I force myself not to move, but my eyes stay glued on Ness’ back as she walks away from me. Emily and Rachel look almost like they are pulling Ness along. My suspicions are confirmed when she looks back at me, clearly not paying attention to where she’s going. The conflict on her face is obvious and it makes me feel a little less annoyed knowing she didn’t want to leave me either.

 

After Ness huddles down next to Lillah I wander over to where Quil, Jared and Sam are preparing to light the bonfire. I don’t bother making small talk with the guys, instead my eyes stay locked on my girl as she joins the group of women.

 

I’ve never witnessed Ness speak to someone as much as she does Lillah. They have a special bond, and I think that has really helped Ness feel like she fits in with the others. Although Ness doesn’t know she’s my imprint, Lillah does, and she’s made so many efforts to include Ness; both one-on-one and in the larger group of imprintees. The two of them spend nearly as much time together and Ness and I do; especially since Ness has been keeping Lillah company while Embry is at work this summer. Ness won’t even tell me what they do during the day, but I can tell she enjoys the time. After that first day together this summer, they’ve been bonded like sisters.

 

I’m surprised when I hear someone sigh next to me. Glancing up, I’m shocked to see Embry standing there. His eyes are glued on Lillah, but I can see all his emotions easily on his face; pride, love, and worry. I know he’s driving himself crazy with concern over Lillah and the baby. I know this because that’s the reason I had to stop him from patrolling, he was driving me crazy with his roller coaster emotions. My eyes return to Ness, but I can’t help picking on my friend, “Did you get kicked out?”

 

“Not so much kicked out as dragged away by my brother.” I hear him chuckle but don’t bother looking away from Ness. The glance would be wasted anyway, Embry’s eyes are locked on his wife, I have no doubt. “At least it took another wolf to pull me away from my imprint. You lost Ness to two girls.”

 

If anyone else had said that to me, I’d go off on them. Coming from Embry, I know he feels my pain in this moment. “Touche.”

 

We are both quiet as we continue to stare at our imprints. Moments later, Ness looks over her shoulder and she catches my gaze. A slow smile spreads across my face and she returns it, her eyes bright in her pretty face. The way my heart tightens makes me feel like a chick but I don’t care. Seeing her smile makes me happy; it’s the best feeling in the world.

 

Movement and my name being called catches my attention. I reluctantly pull my gaze away from Ness’ to the familiar voice of my Second. Leah has arrived and I’m sure she’s prepared to give me hell for ignoring her texts last night. I look back to find Ness still watching me. I give her a wave and force myself to go see what Leah wants now.

 

Leah has her hands propped on her hips and her eyes narrowed at me as I approach. Most of the time with Leah the attitude is just an act; a way to keep others at a distance. Leah really is a nice person and I consider her a friend; she just hates being ignored and I definitely did that last night. _Time to pay the piper._

 

When I stop in front of her I don’t bother saying anything, instead, waiting for her to let me have it so we can move on to other things. Unfortunately, Leah is in one of her stubborn moods and just stares back at me. Not wanting to possibly miss a moment with Ness, I finally bite the bullet and apologize, “Sorry about last night. I was on my way to see Ness. I hadn’t seen her all day and it was movie night. She fell asleep and I couldn’t leave her.”

 

She huffs in response, but when I see her shrug, I’m pretty sure I’m in the clear. “I should be pissed at you. You’ve been blowing me off a lot lately, Jacob.”

 

“I know. And I am sorry- it’s just...” I wave my hands in frustration at the whole situation I’ve found myself in with Ness.

 

Thankfully, Leah understands what I’m unable to say, “Yeah. I get it. I’m not so much of a bitch that I can’t understand what this is doing to you. I don’t know about imprinting first hand, but I’m not blind. I see your thoughts, Jake. It sucks that you’ve had to hide this for so long.”

 

I nod my head in agreement, “Thanks for understanding, Leah. I thought for sure you’d rip my balls off--.”

 

Her hand goes up and I stop mid-sentence for her to speak. “I said I understand but it doesn’t mean I’m ok with it. We’re suppose to be friends. You can’t blow me off when you have a better offer, and then expect me to just wait for you to come by when you’re not busy. What if it had really been an emergency last night? What if I needed my Alpha?”

 

I rub a hand against the back of my neck and drop my face in contrition, hoping she’ll forgive me sooner than she usually does. “I’m sorry, Mom, it won’t happen again.” My words are playful and just as I’d hoped, she laughs lightly and I know I’m forgiven.

 

Leah’s friendship is important to me, probably just as important as Ness’, just on a very different level. The last thing I want to do is alienate her or some shit.

 

“How’s Embry doing?” Leah asks, nodding toward the spot where Embry is still standing, watching Lillah.

 

Turning around, I start walking back to where the rest of the wolves have congregated around the food. As I walk, I take a moment to consider Leah’s question. She walks quietly next to me, giving me time to respond without pressure.

 

“Ok, I guess, considering. He’s off patrols until the baby is born.”

 

I catch Leah cringing beside me but I don’t ask. “Alright. Do you need help covering his patrols?”

 

“Not right now, but I’ll let you know.”

 

Leah's head nods once in agreement and then she’s silent again. When she spots Seth, Sue, and Charlie, she breaks away from me with a small snarl. As much as I want to laugh, I know this is a sore spot for Leah. It’s not that she doesn’t like Charlie, because she does. We’ve known him all of our lives, but it’s different now for Leah. She’s struggling with her mother being with someone other than her dad, Harry. From the little bit of her mind she’s shared with me, she still feels responsible for her father’s death and misses him a lot more than I think anyone realizes.

 

I’m a little surprised when I find myself standing in front of Sam. My feet must have been on autopilot while I was lost in my thoughts of Leah’s issues.

 

“Hey Jake, what’s up?” Sam looks up and laughs as Eli, who is sitting in his lap, lunges at me, gripping my leg.

 

“Not much- you know, typical day as an Alpha. Worried that my Second might attack Fork’s Chief of Police for dating her mom. Your brother is so worried about his imprint that he’s completely useless to me and doing a great impersonation of a statue over there. Oh yeah, and I’m going crazy, wanting to tell my imprint she’s my imprint but bound by a promise I made to her overbearing father. You?” I half smile at Sam as he throws back his head in laughter.

 

The sound of Eli’s laughter makes me look down at him. He’s mimicking Sam, he’s head thrown back as he laughs deep in his belly. The sound is infectious and it makes me start laughing too, finally breaking the tension in me.

 

“Un-ca!” Eli smiles up at me, showing me the Nerf ball he’s clasping in his hand. He calls every one of us guys “un-ca”, his own version of “uncle”. The guys and I have taught him a lot of new words these last few weeks, cracking up over his baby speak. Of course, Emily has kicked our asses over some of it, but it’s worth it.

 

As I sink onto the sand next to Sam he shouts over his shoulder, “Embry, get your ass over here. And bring us some beers. Your Alpha is in a shitty place.”

 

I watch as Embry’s shoulders drop and he turns around, heading for the beer cooler. While Embry is in my pack, it seems that an older brother’s command has a little more impact in this situation than an Alpha’s command. He joins us, handing Sam and I both a beer as he drops to the sand. When Quil joins us, Embry rolls his eyes and gives Sam and I an apologetic smile, “Sorry, this stray dog followed me over here.”

 

“Hey, Jacob is my Alpha too. I care.” Quil glances over at me and there is a weird smile on his face. I know I’m in trouble before he speaks, “So did you have to push any stuffed animals off of Ness’ bed last night before you crawled in?”

 

 _Fuck. Me._ I have no idea how Quil knows I stayed the night with her last night, but if he knows, then everyone else knows.

 

Quil is cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West. Before I can say anything, Embry butts in, “What are you laughing at, Quil? Your imprint still plays with Barbie’s.”

 

Sam snorts beside me when Quil snarls back, “She doesn’t play with Barbie’s any more. She’s moved on to baby dolls.”

 

Embry shrugs, “Same difference.” Glancing over at me he frowns deeply, “You stayed the night in her bed?”

 

I take a quick swig of my beer, hoping the cool liquid will make this conversation a little less awkward. “Yeah, but it’s not a big deal. I don’t even think she noticed.” I do my best to sound nonchalant, but the look on Embry’s face doesn’t help. His frown somehow deepens, but his eyes are far away, like he’s remembering something.

 

“She noticed.” Embry says, though he still seems lost in thought.

 

Sam asks the question before I can even start to form the words in my mind, “How do you know, Embry?”

 

When his eyes finally focus again, he glances at Sam then looks back over at me. “Because she finally got some sleep. You told me the other day she hasn’t been sleeping.” I don’t comment but he’s right, I did mention her not sleeping recently. Embry takes a deep breath, almost like he’s gathering up his courage. He locks his jaw and speaks through clenched teeth, “Look, trust me on this one, things are about to get a lot worse for you with Ness.”

 

“What? Why do you say that?” My heart is pounding at his words. _How can things possibly get worse?_

 

Sam speaks up this time, “Jake, don’t you remember how Embry was with Lillah early on?” I cringe remembering that time. Sam continues to explain, “It was bad for all of us, but it got worse-.”

 

He doesn’t have to go any further. I get his point and finish his sentence easily, “It got worse after he stayed the night in her bed.” I finish off my beer, wishing once again that we could get drunk.

 

Embry is no longer looking at us, his eyes locked on his hands. “I made a lot of stupid mistakes, but the worst was thinking I could go back to sleeping alone after having her in my arms just one night.”

 

I feel like I’ve just been rammed in the gut by Emmett’s hard head. My entire chest hurts with the truth of Embry’s statement. I can’t go back, but I have forty-one more days until I can tell her. _How the hell am I going to survive the next forty nights?_

 

Something soft bounces off my nose and I glance over at Quil, ready to kick his ass. “Wasn’t me! Turn your anger on the toddler.”

 

Looking down at the sand, I see Eli’s Nerf ball next to my foot. When I pick it up and hand it to Eli, he’s clapping and giggling. Even through my anxiousness, Eli’s simple excitement makes me smile.

 

He takes the ball from my hand then tosses it again at my nose. Sam, Quil, and Embry all start laughing. Chuckling, I grab the ball again, handing it to him, “I take it you wanna play catch, little dude?”

 

Eli takes the ball from my hand. “Un-ca,” he holds his arms in the air like two field goal posts and the ball goes flying again, this time hitting Sam in the forehead.

 

“We need to work on your aim, Eli,” Sam laughs as he hands the ball back to him. We all easily hear his “whispered” words to the kid, “Throw the ball at Quil. Aim between his legs.”

 

Quil stops smiling, “Seriously, Sam?” Before he can say anything more, the ball is flying in the air, bouncing off Quil’s thigh. This time it’s Sam, Embry and I laughing at Quil’s expense.

 

Quil stands up, handing Eli the ball, “Here dude, I’m hungry and your dad is an asshole.”

 

“Az-hall,” Eli says in his high pitched baby voice, laughing and clapping.

 

Sam shakes his head, “I’m telling Emily you taught Eli that one, Quil!” As Quil walks away, waving his hand over his head, Sam leans down to Eli, “Good shot, son!”

 

I glance over at Embry, “Think we can go get our women back now?”

 

“Hell yeah!” Embry jumps up. I follow him, but hang back a little, my eyes searching for Ness. She’s still with Lillah, Emily and Rachel, with Jared now hovering nearby over Kim. When Dad calls out that the food is ready, everyone starts moving. Emily takes Claire to another table and I watch as Leah gets settled at a table with Seth, Sue, and Charlie. It’s kind of cool and a little crazy to see Charlie here but I can tell he’s enjoying himself. Leah seems to be behaving herself so far.

 

Now that Embry has returned to Lillah and Leah is somewhat under control, I move to Ness, hoping I can at least spend dinner next to her. When I’m finally standing beside her, I reach for her. Running my hand down her arm I take her hand in mine and pull her up from the sand.

 

I make some lame excuse about needing her help with plates when I know I can manage on my own. Every moment is precious with her but I want all I can get tonight.

 

As I pile food onto the plates that Ness holds in her hands, I comment on her grandfather being here. I’m not really paying attention to what I’m saying or doing because I can’t seem to pull my eyes away from her face.

 

I reluctantly ask her about sitting with Charlie tonight. As much as I want to be with her and the others in the audience, I can’t. Since Old Quil passed, this is the first time I have to take my place with the other elders. It still feels weird to think I’m going to be sitting next to Dad and Sue, taking Old Quil’s place.

 

I take Dad his plate then escort Ness back over to the picnic table before returning to the food table to finish filling my own. As we get settled, I explain why I can’t be with her tonight. She doesn’t seem upset, which is a relief.

 

She has a far off look on her face, but her smile still pulls me in. It takes every ounce of my strength not to just say the hell with the entire night and take off with her. It’s been a long time since Ness and I have been completely alone without someone close enough to interrupt. Last night aside, of course, and sadly she slept through all of it. Even if she does know I stayed the night, like Embry suggested, she hasn’t mentioned it yet. As I reflect on spending the night in her bed, I know Embry was right. Once I fell asleep it was the best night of sleep I’ve had in-- a long ass time. _I’m so screwed._

 

I’m pulled out of my musings when I feel something pinching my thigh. “What the hell?” I shout, looking down at my thigh. I’m stunned to find my skin caught between Ness’ pale fingers.

 

She starts apologizing as soon as she releases my skin but I’m too surprised by what just happened to even tell her I’m fine. When I feel the eyes of the others on me, I quickly collect myself, “I’m fine, just a mosquito I think. Damn vampire bugs.”

 

I hear the people laughing but my attention is locked on Ness. Leaning against her ear I whisper softly so no one else can hear, “What was that for?”

 

She places her hand on my face and I watch her explanation. It doesn’t make sense, especially when, as she’s telling me she was distracted, I can see her face turning more and more pink. She doesn’t mention what distracted in the first place, but given her blush, I’m hopeful I had something to do with it.

 

As Ness pulls her hand away I can’t help teasing her slightly, “You know you don’t have to pinch me to get my attention, right?”

 

She gasps, and even though she tries to deny it, I can’t help laughing watching her get so embarrassed. She turns away from me, but I’m not worried, I see Lillah wink at her, like they have a shared secret.

 

While she’s turned to face Lillah, I start eating. My burger is piled high with everything imaginable; I manage to eat it without having to unhinge my jaw, but only just barely. My sandwich is gone while Ness is still intently watching Lillah and Embry, and Kim and Jared. I try to see what she is so fascinated by, but all I see is two of my friends with their imprints and baby.

 

Hoping to grab Ness’ attention, I snag the burger off her plate. It only has ketchup and pickles, but I’m so hungry, I’m not picky. I take a bite, figuring she’ll catch on, but nothing. She’s still watching them by the time I finish it off too.

 

Frustrated that she’s paying attention to them and not me, I decide to try another way. My hand slides under the table, hovering over her thigh but I decide that’s too risky. Moving lower, my thumb and forefinger touch the smooth skin of her knee. As soon as I pinch the skin between my fingers, her head jerks around, her eyes wide.

 

“Thought that would do the trick,” I grin, loving this new game. I release her skin but my hands have a mind of their own. My fingers slide across her thigh as I pull my hand back above the table. That little bit of contact causes my dick to stand up at attention. _Fuck_. What is wrong with me?

 

I do my best to ignore what’s going on between my legs. Clearing my throat, I look at Ness’ plate, unable to make eye contact with her right now, “Aren’t you hungry?”

 

I don’t believe her when she claims she isn’t because of a big lunch at Charlie’s. Leaning back slightly, I analyze her face. Despite the color from her natural blush, she still looks paler than normal. She’s been like this for a few days now. Only thing I can think is she needs some blood. With her spending so much time at Lillah’s during the day, it’s been a few weeks since we went hunting.

 

However, when I mention this, her hand moves across my face as she tells me she’s fine. Having heard her tell her father she was “fine” yesterday, this make me suspicious. I naturally push back, “I don’t think so, Ness. Your cheeks haven’t been as pink lately. I think you need to hunt.”

 

As I wait for her to respond, I’m distracted by her bottom lip being captured between her teeth. I want to pull that bottom lip into my mouth, lick and then maybe nip at it myself. _Sounds like an excellent plan to me. I bet she tastes delicious._

 

I’m jolted back to reality when I notice she’s arguing with me, pushing an explanation of why she’s been so pale lately into my head. I understand about makeup, having grown up with two sisters, but that doesn’t mean I like it. When she gets to the part about intentionally covering up the beautiful natural color in her cheeks though, I can’t stop the growl from escaping as I speak, “Why would you want to do that?”

 

When she starts to pull away I stop her, pressing her hand to my cheek again. I know I scared her with my response, so I try to calm down before I explain why I’m so upset. “I’m sorry, it’s just-- I don’t understand why you want to look so different. The straight hair, the makeup; what’s going on?”

 

I’m not prepared for the explanation she provides, the words echoing in my mind long after she stopped speaking. _I’m not a child anymore, Jake. I’m tired of looking like a little girl._

 

I want to laugh and cry at the same moment. Everything in me knows she isn’t a child. I’ve known this for months now, but I keep fighting it because of my deal with Edward. It’s on the tip of my tongue every moment I’m with her, but I stop myself time and time again. However, this time, I need her to know that at the very least, I recognize she is close to maturity.

 

“Trust me, I know you aren’t a child, Ness.” I take in a gulp of air, wanting desperately to give her more, to tell her everything; but I can’t. It takes all my will power to slowly pull her hand from my face.

 

As I place her hand on the table I notice her plate is still full. I’m still worried about her color, so I ask her to eat. I watch her closely as she places a bite of watermelon in her mouth. A tiny bit of juice escapes her mouth. Just as I consider leaning over to lick the juice away, her tongue dashes out of her mouth.

 

It’s not until I hear Paul speaking that I realize something is going on. I pull my eyes away from Ness just in time to catch the last part of what Paul is saying.

 

“Rachel’s pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”

 

As excited as I am for Paul and Rachel, my eyes swing to only one person in the crowd. I don’t have to watch long; Leah stands up and starts running. I can barely hear her words as she runs past. “I’m going to patrol. I can’t be around this.”

 

“Leah, please don’t go.” I’m not surprised when she runs off to the woods. Disappointed, but not surprised. I know it hurts Leah every time one of the imprints announces a pregnancy. My guess is this one hurt especially hard, since Rachel’s complications with getting pregnant were related to why Leah calls herself a “genetic dead end”.

 

I should run after her, but I know it’s useless to go. She’s in a mood and she needs her space. I can completely understand and respect that. Plus, with my imprint beside me, I find it hard to rationalize leaving to go hear Leah rage on about something neither of us can control.

 

Turning back to Ness, I watch as the rest of the crowd congratulates Rachel and Paul. Once Rachel is close, Ness moves from my side to offer her congratulations. I follow her, placing one hand on Ness’ shoulder before reaching out to pull my sister into a tight hug, “Congrats sis. Glad to hear it finally worked out.”

 

Rachel is beaming as she looks over at Paul, “Thanks. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, we’ve been waiting to make sure the pregnancy takes.”

 

I stand next to Ness while the imprints discuss how far along Rachel is, maternity clothes, and other girl stuff. Ness seems wrapped up in the conversation, but I tune out, enjoying watching her much more than paying attention to what is being said.

 

I don’t realize that the group has broken up around us until Ness turns to face me. The look on her face tells me I’m in trouble, the words she places in my mind confirming. “Did you know they were having problems getting pregnant?”

 

I don’t want to get into this conversation right now, so I just give a quick nod. However, this isn’t enough for her. Her hand presses harder against my face as she almost shouts the words into my head, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Speaking as softly as I can so no one else can hear our conversation, I try to explain, “I didn’t want to worry you, plus, there wasn’t really anything to share.”

 

She drops the subject just as I hear Dad clearing his throat behind me. My time with Ness is up for the evening. While I know she is well loved by her family and the tribe, I want to have time with her, alone. These few minutes here and there just aren’t cutting it any longer.

 

Slowly I lead her, Sue, and Charlie over to the blankets I set up earlier this afternoon. They are placed directly in front of where I’ll be sitting. Even though I won’t be able to talk to her, I’ll at least see her the whole evening.

 

I’m not sure what I want to say, but I know I don’t want to walk away just yet. Reaching out for Ness, I pull her into a tight hug, her arms trapped by my chest. Looking over her shoulder, I see Charlie hugging Sue. As much as I know it wouldn’t bother her, it’s still pretty funny to watch, but kind of gross at the same time. I whisper softly against her ear, “Seriously, be glad you are not seeing this.”

 

Since she can’t move her hands, she has to vocalize her question to me. “What?”

 

Feeling her lips barely brush against my ear as she whispers short-circuits my brain. I want to turn my head ever-so-slightly and press my lips against hers. It would be so simple, and yet complicate everything so much. Instead, I try to distract both of us with a joke, “Charlie making out with Sue.”

 

Rarely does Ness use her strength against me, but this time she does, shoving against my chest as she spins around to look at Sue and Charlie. At that second, Charlie places a simple kiss on Sue’s cheek before Sue walks away.

 

When Ness turns back to me, her eyes are blazing, “You are such a liar.”

 

I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it. The fact that she actually thought Chief Swan would make out with Sue Clearwater in public is just funny. “I am not!” Which is technically not true, but kind of is in this instance. I saw Charlie leaning down toward Sue. My assumption was he was going to kiss her. How was I to know he’d wimp out and just go for the cheek?

 

The force behind Ness’ hand making contact with my face surprises me. I only have a moment to process how angry she is before she is replaying Charlie kissing Sue’s cheek in my mind.

 

I open my mouth to explain but she is speaking into my mind, her tone very angry. “I hope that isn’t what you consider making out.” I frown at her, not sure why we are getting annoyed with one another. “And I thought my father was uptight.”

 

My anger rises to meet hers. Being compared to Edward, especially in the sexuality department, is a huge slap in the face. I tug the hand she has against my face away, pulling her closer. I want to drop my lips to hers, show her how different I am; how I don’t mind a little making out in public. I’m close to doing so, our noses touching, when I see a spark of fear in her eyes. I’ve never lost my temper like this in front of her. As much as I want to kiss her, I don’t want our first kiss to be out of anger.

 

Dropping my head I choke out my response, making sure she can’t look anywhere but at my eyes as I speak, “Definitely not. I’m not uptight, especially in that department, and I am _nothing_ like your father.”

 

Needing to leave before I do something I’ll regret later, I stomp off. I can feel her eyes watching me as I move to sit with Dad and Sue. I know she’s confused but it’s best I walked away. I couldn’t give her an explanation of why I’m so angry right now even if I tried.

 

As much as I love hearing the stories of my people, I wish Dad would hurry up. He isn’t even finished with his first tale and I’m already anxious to return to Ness. She’s only looked at me once since I left her side, her gaze locked on her grandfather otherwise. _Damn she’s stubborn when she’s angry or hurt. She’s also incredibly beautiful with the fire flickering across her skin._

 

“Jacob, control yourself.” My head spins to look at Sue. She whispers low, “You were growling. Again. You need to calm down.”

 

Taking deep breaths, I turn back to watching Ness, but as my head moves, something odd catches my eye. Seth is not focused on Dad like everyone else. Instead, his head is turned in Ness’ direction. Following his eyes I see Ness is looking at him, waving as she mouths the words “I’m sorry”.

 

 _What the fuck?_ My head whips back over to see Seth respond. “No worries.”

 

 _What the hell is going on? Why is Ness apologizing to Seth?_ I can feel my anger reaching it’s boiling point. The wolf is pushing to get out, but I hold him back, barely. My eyes cut back to Seth and our eyes meet for the briefest of seconds. He’s no longer smiling when he looks back at my imprint. I don’t bother looking at Ness, I can feel her eyes on me.

 

Now it’s my turn to mouth messages to Seth, “What the fuck is going on?”

 

“Ask her,” is his response back.

 

The wolf jumps forward, ready to attack, but I push him back again. I can’t keep the snarl from escaping though as my mouth forms the words, “I’m asking you.”

 

Seth doesn’t respond, just shrugs, which angers me more. I can feel my hands shaking with the pressure of holding the wolf back. “She’s. Mine.” If we’re not careful we will have the attention of everyone here, but I don’t care; my only focus is what is going on between Seth and my imprint.

 

He shrugs again, which pisses me off even more. Knowing I won’t get anything more out of him right now, my eyes jerk back to Ness. She’s looking straight ahead and when our eyes meet, I have to force myself to stay seated. My responsibilities are a low priority in that moment though.

 

All I want is to run and grab Ness, take her away from here and beg her until she tells me everything. Whatever is going on between her and Seth, I need to know, now. _She’s mine._ If Seth did anything to hurt her, I will not hesitate to put him in his place. This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed them giving one another funny looks but after that dream of Ness’ last night, their shared looks are much more concerning now.

 

As I continue to watch her, I use the clarity of my anger to fully analyze Ness. She’s short of breath and her heart is thumping harder than I’ve ever heard it. Her eyes are wide and dark. This time the growl that escapes my mouth is in satisfaction, pride in knowing she’s reacting that way because of me. _I did that to her._ That, I am certain of.

 

“Jacob Black. You are a member of the elders of this tribe now. I don’t care what drama you have going on in your life, you will act like an elder when you are up here.”

 

Sue breaks my connection with Ness. Taking calming breaths before I speak, I slowly look up at her, “I’m sorry, but something is going on between your son and my imprint.”

 

“They’re friends, Jacob,” Dad says, moving next to me as the group starts to disperse. I hadn’t noticed he had finished speaking.

 

Shaking my head I look directly at Sue, “This didn’t look like just friendship. What’s going on, Sue?”

 

Sue looks over her shoulder then returns my gaze. “I don’t know, Jacob, but that doesn’t matter. You need to get control of yourself. You are an elder now. You need to act like one.”

 

When Charlie approaches, I quickly duck out before Sue can say anything more. I know Dad is going to hand me my ass later, but for now, I need Ness.

 

She’s leaning over to grab something from the blanket when I stop beside her. Wanting to spend some time alone with her, I offer to give her a ride home. Unfortunately, Charlie already beat me to the punch.

 

“Will I see you later?” Her voice is soft, cautious, but I can hear the hope underneath.

 

It makes me happy that she wants to see me still. As much as I want to go to her though, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. I don’t want to scare her with how upset I am over whatever is going on with her and Seth. Even if it is just friendship, something happened and I’m not happy about it.

 

Hoping that some time and distance from Ness will calm me down, I promise to stop by after I finish cleaning up here. Before she can walk away, I pull her against my chest, holding her tight. If I could absorb her into me, I would.

 

When she sinks into me I am again overtaken by the urge to scoop her up and run away. Instead, I slowly release her. When she takes a step back, I know she’s still scared by my reaction but I don’t have time to explain right now. Moments later she is climbing into Charlie’s car.

 

When I turn around, my gaze lands on Seth, who is watching Charlie’s cruiser leave the parking lot. His face is clear of any emotion, but I’m still angry with him. My fists are curled up and I’m just about to go confront him when I hear Lillah speaking behind me.

 

“Jacob, you can’t keep doing this to her or yourself.”

 

Dropping my fists and exhaling, I turn to find I’m surrounded by Embry, Paul, Sam, and Jared, along with their imprints. I look at Lillah, since she’s the one that spoke to me. She’s leaning against Embry’s chest and they both have their hands on her belly. She’s obviously exhausted, but she still pushes forward. When I first met her, she was so quiet and shy, but now, she’s just as strong willed as any of the other imprints. Which is a good thing, since they have to deal with our wolf induced moods.

 

Since she’s so tired, I do my best to stop this conversation before it can get going. “I’m not doing anything to her. The only one suffering right now is me.”

 

“You are an idiot. A big fat idiot, just like Embry was.” She’s obviously upset now, her voice stronger and her face turning red before my eyes.

 

I watch as Embry tries to soothe her, whispering apologies against her ear. This is clearly not what she wants to hear, swatting at his arm as she looks up at him, “Oh, Em, you know what I mean. I’m not angry with you, baby. I just hate this whole situation.”

 

“At least I have a reason for not telling Ness. You were just being a stubborn ass.” Even though I know it’s hitting below the belt, I’m still so angry that the insult flies out at Embry without any thought on my part.

 

“Funny, Jake,” Embry growls out.

 

Lillah distracts him, soothing him with a touch of her hand against his face. Once he’s stopped growling, she looks back at me, giving me a sympathetic smile, “You’re just scared.”

 

I scoff at this accusation. The only thing I’m scared of is Edward’s reaction if I tell her early. He could take her away from me, and that’s something I can’t have happen.

 

Lillah keeps going despite my silence, “You are! You're scared to make that transition between friend and lover.”

 

The groan escapes my mouth without my permission. I fight thinking of Ness like that when I’m with her. I don’t feel free to let my thoughts drift into the ‘lover’ status for too long. _I can’t go there until she knows she belongs with me._

 

Lillah pushes on though, ignoring my reaction. "Don't act like that isn’t what you want. Because if you are wanting it, so is she. Remember that."

 

“Lillah, it’s not like that with us right now,” I try to explain, wanting to end this conversation. I really don’t want to upset Lillah, especially now.

 

“Don't try to pull that crap with me,” Lillah practically shouts. Embry tries to soothe her again but Lillah pushes on. “Jacob, I've been in her position and I know the emotional and physical pull she is feeling right now. You feel it too, don’t deny it. I know you didn't have those feelings before, when she was younger, but there is nothing wrong with feeling it now. Don't try to stifle it.”

 

She’s right, of course; I do feel her pulling me closer, but I can’t act on it. As upset as Lillah is right now, I decide to remain silent. She seems calmer when she speaks again, “Jacob, I get why you would be scared, I do... but she deserves to know. I think - no, I know, it would do you both good. It upsets me to see her so sad all the time.”

 

“It hurts me too, Lillah, but I made a promise.” I hate this. I know I need to tell Ness, but I’m honor bound to keep this secret until her birthday.

 

This time, Lillah’s voice isn’t the only one speaking to me. I hear my sister speaking almost the same words as Lillah, “Promises were meant to be broken.”

 

As much as I would like to break my promise, as much as this is hurting both Ness and I, I can’t. I get why Lillah is so passionate, hell, I even understand that Rachel wants to finally be honest with Ness, but I can’t.

 

Shaking my head, I speak softly, “I can’t tell her until her birthday.”

 

My phone beeps with a message.

 

_I’m home. See you soon? ~N_

 

Before I can tap out a response, Seth is approaching the group. I’m glad I returned my phone to my pocket when he starts speaking. He shocks me to my core by what he says.

 

“Why are you keeping that promise now that she’s going away to college? Shouldn’t you get to tell her before she leaves? She’ll be gone before her birthday.”

 

I push through the crowd to stand directly in front of Seth. I’m shaking from head to toe as I gasp out, “What the fuck did you just say?”

 

Seth looks shocked by my response. He takes a small step back but I follow him. He starts speaking quickly, “Ness. Leaving. College. You don’t know yet? I told her to tell you! I figured that’s what that long ass hug was about. Shit. I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

 

White hot anger is rolling down my spine. _Ness. Leaving. And Seth knew before I did? No, this can’t be._ Edward, Bella, Ness, _somebody_ would have told me by now if my imprint was leaving Forks. I growl at Seth, hoping against hope he’s wrong. “What the fuck are you talking about? No one has said anything to me about Ness going away to college.”

 

Seth takes another step back, but this time I let him go. The wolf is pawing to get out, and as angry as I am right now, I don’t want to hurt Seth. _Yet._

 

“She’s going to the University of Washington. Classes start at the beginning of September.” Before her birthday. _Fuck!_

 

He must have heard wrong. One of the other Cullen’s is going there and he just assumed it was Ness. I need to be sure before I go over there. “How the fuck do you know that?”

 

Seth takes one more step back, clear of my path if I phase. He looks away, cringing as he starts speaking, “I was over at their place yesterday. Edward-.”

 

I’m phased and in the forest before Seth can finish. If Edward told him, then he’s right. My clothes fly off around me but I don’t give a fuck right now. All I care about is finding Edward. Finding him and killing him for breaking the promise. _I fucking trusted him._

 

Leah laughs in my mind, “Never trust a vampire.”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Leah.”

 

I don’t hear her response, lost in the memory of when Edward trapped me into keeping my imprint in the dark about our relationship.

 

-0-

 

Nessie’s first birthday party was winding down and by all accounts, it was a success. At least, that was what Alice kept telling me. I swear she invited every vampire the Cullen’s knew to this party, and told them to bring at least two guests. The smell was overwhelming and gag worthy.

 

Rolling my eyes, I moved to escape the house, where most of the vampires were still congregated. As I stepped outside, I saw Edward leaning against the balcony, Dr. Cullen standing beside him. Approaching them, I could see both looked upset. When Edward spoke, he sounded disappointed, “I understand, and I appreciate you waiting until now. We will see you soon.”

 

Carlisle gave me a quick nod before leaving Edward and I. When Edward didn’t say anything, I finally asked. “What?”

 

Edward turned around, his back to me, but his words were clear still. “He and Esme are leaving for Seattle soon. He has accepted a position there. He wants to be close to the family, but he can’t stay here in Forks any longer.”

 

His statement hit me square in the chest. Panic was rising as I gasped out, “But you’re staying, right? You, Bella, and- Nessie?” Her name on my lips made this situation even more real. It was a distinct possibility she could be taken away from me.

 

I could hear Edward exhaling an unneeded breath before he turned back around to face me. “For now, but we can’t stay forever. We’ll stay close, of course, but we will need to go sometime. People will notice, Forks is too small a town.”

 

“How close is close?” I barely managed to gasp out.

 

Edward shrugged, “Perhaps Seattle or Vancouver. It would be nice to stay near our family.”

 

My hands were shaking as his words sunk in. “She’s my family too.”

 

My head was spinning. When Nessie was born I did what had to be done to keep them here. After the Charlie hurdle had been crossed, I assumed they would always stay. Edward and Bella knew I had to be close to Nessie, be near her as often as possible. There was no way I could live without her. I knew I had to do whatever it took to keep them here again.

 

When Edward didn’t say anything else, I pushed on. “You can’t take her from me Edward. I can’t lose her. Even Seattle or Vancouver is too far. I need her, here. As close to me as possible.”

 

Edward tilted his head, seemingly surprised by my response. “You could join us,” he said, hesitantly, like this was not an ideal plan, but he could tolerate if needed.

 

“You know I can’t do that, Edward. _My_ family is here. My life is here. I have to protect the tribe, but I need to be near her. If not all day, then every day, as much as possible every day.”

 

Edward was silent longer than I expected. He straightened up, but there was just a hint of a smile on his face. However, it wasn’t a happy smile, but a slightly evil smile. The monster in him was excited by whatever idea had come to his mind, and I was scared.

 

“Fine. We will stay here.”

 

With those simple words, he had me. I knew there was a condition coming, but I would agree to anything to keep her close. Absolutely anything I needed to do.

 

“IF,” and there it was, the condition I knew was coming, ”you agree to not mention the imprint to her until she has reached her physical maturity. Let’s say - on her birthday in six years. We estimate she’ll be around eighteen then.”

 

“She already knows. She was there when Bella found out.” I didn’t understand how Edward thought we could keep this from her.

 

“She was days old. Though she could replay events seconds after they happened, they were like the memories of any infant. Short lived and gone. Do you remember anything from when you were a baby? If it wasn’t talked about as she grew, if she didn’t replay it for others frequently, those early memories faded away.”

 

I was shaking my head, knowing he was right. Edward had me trapped by the fact that I assumed as smart as Nessie was, she would remember everything that happened from the moment she was born. My mistake was not reinforcing her knowledge that I imprinted. Edward had jumped on this mistake. If only I had done things differently; made her aware of imprinting and what it meant, told her she was my imprint every day.

 

“Why?” Even though I was going to agree to this, I needed to know what his motivation was for making me keep the nature of my relationship with his daughter a secret from her.

 

“Because I want her to be able to decide if being your imprint is the life she wants. I want the world to be open to her. I don’t want her to feel like she has to stay here all her life. The last thing I want is for this to be forced on her.”

 

I wanted to argue with Edward, remind him that I wanted those same things for her. The difference was, I wanted to be beside Nessie as she went out and conquered the world. I opened my mouth to set him straight, but I knew it was no use. I accepted his condition willingly, knowing this was my one chance to guarantee I could keep her close by. “Fine. I agree.”

 

-0-

 

“Jacob! Jake! Come back! You don’t even have any clothes or your cell phone with you.”

 

I hear Seth but ignore him; now that he and Leah are phased, being in the wolf mind link is too much. I phase back to human to get some peace and quiet. Since I left my clothes behind at the bonfire, I pull on the pair of shorts I keep stashed near the cottage.

 

My steps through the woods are sure, I’m able to find the clearing around the cottage easily. My thoughts play on a loop just for Edward; the same thoughts repeating over and over in my mind.

 

_I trusted you, Edward. You broke our pact first. I kept my secret from her, but she was supposed to stay here. You are taking her away from me before her birthday!_

 

I stop in front of the cottage, not having to wait long for Edward to join me in the yard. Bella walks out too, closing the front door quietly before moving to stand next to her precious husband.

 

I can tell Bella is confused, but when Edward doesn’t say anything, I happily bring her up to speed on what’s going on. My entire body is shaking as I scream out what is on my mind.

 

“I could kill you right now, Edward. How dare you take her away from me before I can even tell her? We had a fucking _deal_. A deal you forced me into, you son of a--.”

 

Edward’s calm demeanor only serves to piss me off more. “Jacob, this is not a big deal. We are just going to Seattle. You can _still_ see her. Still tell her everything on her birthday, just like we agreed.”

 

“Just going to Seattle? Are you kidding me?” Clenching my fists, I do my best to stay human. I need Bella to hear all of this, to know what is going on. “Do you know how much it kills me just having her here in Forks when I’m in _La Push_? How I’ve lost a day with her each week this year because of that ballet class? I told you the day we made the deal that even Seattle was too far!”

 

I’m shaking so hard I can’t focus on Edward or Bella. My vision is blurred, but my hearing is clear. “Jacob, I understand you are upset--.”

 

I don’t understand why Edward stops speaking until I take a deep breath. _Ness is here._

 

Looking back at the cottage, my eyes finally manage to focus again. I watch as the front door opens once more. The light from the living room looks like a halo around her body, but I can’t see her face. When she steps out into the yard, closing the door behind her, I can tell she’s worried and confused.

 

All three of us are quiet as she approaches. I’m tempted to run and grab her, take her away before Edward can stop me. Edward moves in front of me just as I think this. _Clearly, Bella isn’t shielding my mind right now._

 

Even as Ness approaches, my anger at Edward is still palpable. Seeing him use his body as a barrier between me and my imprint infuriates me. “You’d better move, right now,” I growl at him.

 

Edward glances at Ness as she finally reaches Bella then turns back to me. “You’re angry Jacob. I don’t want you hurting her.”

 

“Hurting her? Are you crazy? You know I could _never_ hurt her.” I’m on the verge of losing my mind.

 

“Not intentionally--.”

 

“I would rather die than hurt her. I would do anything to keep her safe, you overbearing ass--.” My words are steady, my voice full of authority. It’s my “Chief” voice as Ness calls it.

 

Edward opens his mouth to speak, “JACOB,” he stops what he was going to say when Ness shouts louder than either of us.

 

“WOULD SOMEONE LIKE TO TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?”

.

.

.

.

 **A/N:** Please do not throw things at us for leaving you with another cliffy. We promise resolution in the next chapter along with a few other surprises. If you are CURIOUS ABOUT **LEAH** , check out stupidleeches dot com -- our FAQ page has some info.

 

Also, our schedule is still **every other Tuesday**. Stop asking us to update early ;) If we do that, we’ll run out of chapters and then you’ll get nothing for a few weeks. GASP.

 

THANKS FOR READING A REVIEWING. Be sure your **PRIVATE MESSAGES are enabled**. NKR likes to reply and ramble.

 

Until next time!!

 

 


	5. Light My World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not SM, so please don’t tell her what we are about to do to her characters.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: We’ve left you with a cliffy for 2 chapters. We’ll just say, the cliffhangers will always be totally worth it. Our timeline is concrete. You just have to be patient.

** Chapter 5 “Light My World” **

 

_Would you catch a couple thousand fireflies_

_Yeah, put them in a lamp to light my world_

_All dressed up in a tux and bowtie_

_Hand deliver to a lonely girl_

_To a lonely lonely girl_

 

_Well, I don't want the whole world_

_The sun, the moon, and all their light_

_I just want to be the only girl_

_You love all your life_

_You love all your life_

“All Your Life” - The Band Perry

 

** NPOV **

 

-0-

 

“How dare you take her away from me before I can even tell her? We had a fucking _deal_. A deal you forced me into, you son of a--.”

 

My feet are moving fast as I try to listen to every word being said outside. I don’t know what is going on, but based on what Jacob said and how he said it, he’s definitely upset. I have to go to him, find out what is going on.

 

Dad speaking slows me down, “Jacob, this is not a big deal. We are just going to Seattle. You can _still_ see her. Still tell her everything on her birthday, just like we agreed.”

 

 _Jacob knows we are going to Seattle?_ My heart is fluttering as I start moving again. _How did he find out?_ Jacob was ok when I left him at the bonfire, which means he must have found out after I left. There is only one person that could have told him, but I hate thinking it. _Seth._ Fear bubbles up as I consider what else Seth might have shared with Jacob.

 

Jacob is still clearly upset, which makes me pause as I reach the living room. There is something in his voice that scares me. He’s beyond angry. Jacob is _furious_. “Just going to Seattle? Are you kidding me? Do you know how much it kills me just having her here in Forks when I’m in _La Push_? How I’ve lost a day with her each week this year because of that ballet class? I told you the day we made the deal that even Seattle was too far!”

 

 _Deal? What deal?_ My mind is racing as I move to the front door. Obviously he is talking about me, but I don’t understand why he would be so upset about my ballet class. I’m even more confused about why the short distance between Forks and La Push would be a big issue for him.

 

“Jacob, I understand you are upset--,” Dad pauses just as my hand reaches out for the door knob. All yelling has stopped. _They must know I’m here._

 

Taking a deep breath, I slowly open the door. Squinting, I try to take in the scene in the yard while my eyes adjust to the dark. Even though I see everything, I still don’t get what is going on. My body shivers as I feel the obvious tension in the yard.

 

They are all quiet as I close the door and step out onto the damp grass. I’m about halfway to my mom, who is closest to the cottage, when I see my father move to stand directly in front of Jacob. I’m shocked when I hear Jacob growling. “You’d better move, right now.”

 

I’ve never heard Jacob speak to my father like that and it scares me deep down. Rushing over to stand beside Mom, I do my best to look around Dad at Jacob. From what I can see, his entire body is shaking and I can tell he’s barely holding himself together. I want to run to my best friend, soothe him, but I’m scared to move.

 

I feel my father’s eyes on me but I can’t stop looking at Jacob, even as Dad speaks. “You’re angry Jacob. I don’t want you hurting her.”

 

“Hurting her? Are you crazy? You know I could _never_ hurt her.” Jacob’s voice is shaking just like the rest of his body. My stomach is in knots, but I believe him. Jacob, no matter how angry he is, would never hurt me. Other than my parents there is nobody else I trust as much with my safety.

 

“Not intentionally--,” I gasp, my fear replaced by anger as my father challenges Jacob.

 

“I would rather die than hurt her.” Jacob snarls, his power pushing through as he uses his full Alpha voice on my father, “I would do anything to keep her safe, you overbearing ass--.”

 

Dad’s shout of, “JACOB,” pushes me over the edge. I can’t stand by any longer without knowing why they are talking about me as if I’m not standing here.

 

“WOULD SOMEONE LIKE TO TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?” I scream with all my might. I’m watching Dad and Jacob, but neither moves or even looks at me.

 

Frustrated, I turn back to Mom, but I stop when I finally see her face. She has her arms wrapped around herself as her eyes bounce between myself and Dad and Jacob. Even though she doesn’t need to breathe, she’s taking short, shallow gasps. Seeing my mom look so worried, frightens me more than Jacob and my father arguing.

 

I don’t recognize my own voice, “Mom, please.”

 

Mom looks at me and as I watch, she completely transforms from worried to sure of herself. Her arms drop, she stands up tall, and she takes a deep breath. Once she seems like herself again, she turns back to my father and Jacob, speaking clearly, “Edward, back off. Jacob will never hurt Renesmee and you know that.”

 

My heart stops as I process Mom’s words. Dad is standing in front of Jacob to protect me. _From Jacob?_ Jacob is angry at Dad about some deal they have. _About me?_ This is crazy.

 

When my father takes a small step to the side, my heart takes off again as I finally have a clear view of Jacob. Through the anger I can see hurt in his eyes and that scares me more than the rage shaking his body ever could. The amount of emotion I see on Jacob’s face worries me. I want to move to him, to comfort him, take all of his anger away. When his eyes flicker to mine for a second it sends a wave of cold chills through my body. Beyond the rage, I see loneliness and a sadness that overwhelms me. Crossing my arms, I rub my hands along the chill bumps that have appeared on my bare arms. Jacob’s eyes drop and follow the movement of my hands which frees me to look beyond his face.

 

Free to examine him now, I’m stunned to find he’s standing there in just a pair or shorts. I’ve seen him in only shorts before, but tonight is different. Every muscle in his body is tensed like he’s ready to attack. The chills I had before disappear as a scorching hot fire lights up my entire body. I can’t pull my eyes away from him now. _He’s so beautiful._

 

Mom speaking, even softly, makes me jump. “I never agreed with this deal you two had.” This grabs my attention away from Jacob and forces my focus back on Mom. I’m hopeful she will finally explain what is actually going on. She continues speaking, her eyes darting between Jacob and Dad, “but I went along with it because I wanted my daughter to have as normal of a life as possible. Edward, you knew school was starting before Renesmee’s birthday. I don’t know what you were planning, but we should have told him about our plans to leave.”

 

I’m listening to every word Mom says but I’m still having a hard time following the conversation. _What deal? Why is my birthday so important? What does it matter when school starts?_ It’s on the tip of my tongue to scream my questions at all of them when I see my mother finally turns to me. She opens her arms and I don’t hesitate to run to her side. She envelops me easily, holding me tight as I feel tears of frustration start to fall.

 

She rocks me standing up, whispering against my ear, “I’m sorry, baby. If I had known it would come to this, I would have never let things go this far.”

 

Her words, while soothing, still don’t help me to understand what is happening. The only thing I know is my father and my best friend are arguing over me. Mom has taken on every enemy that has ever come after us, but I’m not sure she can stop Jacob from going after Dad. The worst part is, even though I love both of my parents, I feel like I need to be standing beside Jacob, not hiding behind my father. I need to be at my best friend’s side.

 

As much as I don’t want to leave my mother’s arms, I gently drop mine and take a step back. There is a small frown on Mom’s face when she looks at me as I move just out of her reach. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I know I need to be strong now. I have to find out what is going on.

 

Mom, giving me a small nod, helps me feel she understands. After one last look at me, she turns and speaks directly to Dad, “Jacob has a right to tell her. Everything. And he does not have to wait for her birthday. He can tell her tonight and she can decide whether or not she wants to continue down her current path.”

 

My eyes move to Jacob without thought. As I watch, his shoulders drop and I can clearly hear him exhaling a deep breath. He doesn’t look happy, but he at least looks relieved by what Mom said.

 

“Bella, be reasonable.” Jacob tenses up again as Dad speaks. “We only have a few more weeks with her. She isn’t ready for this.”

 

This irritates me a little. I love my father, but I really don’t appreciate him making decisions for me. It was fine when I was an infant, but at some point, he has to admit that I’m growing up.

 

“Edward, do you not think the same is true for Jacob?” I want to cheer when Mom speaks up. My eyes dart back to Jacob and I see the truth there. His brown eyes bore into mine. _He’s hurting._ Whatever this deal is with my father, it’s hurting him. The idea of me leaving for college hurts him. I refocus on my mother’s voice, hoping someone will finally explain what is going on. “I want to be selfish too, I want to keep her as my baby forever, but she has a right to know. Just because we aren’t ready to let her go, doesn’t mean she isn’t ready for the truth. She is just as much a part of Jacob’s life as she is ours.”

 

I’m shocked by what Mom just said. Shaking my head, I take another step away from my parents. This moves me closer to where Jacob is standing in the yard, but I can’t think about that right now. My irritation with this whole situation has reached a boiling point and I can’t take it any longer.

 

My hands are shaking with my frustration as I look at the three people I love most in the world. Knowing they are all keeping some secret from me infuriates me. I want to scream but I know that won’t help. Instead, I speak as calmly as possible, “Enough. Stop talking about me like I’m not here. Someone tell me what is going on. Right now.”

 

For the first time since I walked out of the cottage, it’s quiet. No one says anything, but there are plenty of looks being shared. Mom and Dad share a silent conversation in front of me. As I watch, Mom glares at Dad and Dad clenches his teeth. Mom doesn’t give up her glare until finally Dad’s face drops. He closes his eyes and nods to Mom once.

 

Holding my breath, I try not to get too excited as Mom’s silent conversation switches from Dad to Jacob. She isn’t smiling, but she does seem relieved as she closes her eyes and nods at Jacob.

 

Jacob’s face changes instantaneously from tense and worried to somewhat happy. His whole body sags with relief then, as I watch, he stands up straight again. He takes slow, controlled steps, stopping only when he’s standing directly in front of me.

 

I’m nervous having him this close, especially with my parents approaching us quickly. Mom and Dad stop beside Jacob and I, but I can’t bother to look at them. I’m lost in the excitement in Jacob’s eyes. They are shining, the light from the cottage and the moon turning his dark eyes into beautiful, sparkling gemstones.

 

“Renesmee Carlie Cullen,” Jacob using my full name takes my breath away. His eyes. I’ve never seen them so intense, so full of certainty, joy, and a touch of fear. He inhales deeply and then continues, sending me clear over a cliff I didn’t know I was standing on top of, “I imprinted on you the day you were born. You are my imprintee.”

 

-0-

 

_What??_

 

Even with my brain being able to work faster than the average human, it takes a second to catch up. He can’t have said what I think I heard. _It’s not possible. Maybe I’m dreaming. Or in a parallel universe._

 

_I will not pass out. If I pass out then this will end up being just another dream. I can’t pass out._

 

No matter how many times I repeat this to myself, it still feels like a dream and I’m on the verge of falling over. Time seems frozen as I try to grasp what Jacob just told me. _Imprint? I’m his imprint? How can this be? How could I not have known?_

 

This was the secret my Dad didn’t want me to know. _Why?_

 

It feels like my brain is filled with nothing but question after question. I can’t focus on one long enough to speak before the next one comes to mind. I feel stupid for not putting the puzzle pieces together, but I never had any reason to consider it could be me.

 

Before I can say anything movement in the woods grabs my attention. Nobody says a word as Seth slowly approaches, a huge wolfy grin on his furry face. He looks me directly in the eye and I’m hit with the truth. Seth was trying to tell me yesterday. His words from last night hit me squarely in the chest. _I’m not the_ wolf _for you._ He could never be the guy for me, could never kiss me, because I’m already another wolf’s imprintee. _Because I’m Jacob’s imprintee_. Seth knew and that’s why he would never cross that line with me. That’s also why, even though Seth is a great guy, I feel no romantic interest in him. He’s not _my Jake_.

 

Both of my parents knew about this, which means my entire family must know. Seth knew, so I’m assuming all of my other friends have to know too. Everyone around me, all of my family and friends, have been keeping this a secret from me. _Jacob isn’t just my best friend. Jacob is my wolf._

 

_They lied._

 

They’ve all lied to me; not directly but by omission. They kept me in the dark. Not telling me the truth about one of the most important things in my life. I feel betrayed and I suddenly have no idea who to trust.

 

My heart is bouncing around in my chest as I freak out on the inside. I can’t stand here a moment longer. Without thinking, I push my legs to start running, heading for the woods. I ignore Seth as I pass him, but I can’t miss the frown of disappointment on his face.

 

The sound of my father’s footsteps push me harder, but I slow down when he stops. Mom sounds like she is standing next to me as she speaks loud enough for me to still hear her, despite the distance I’ve covered already.

 

“No Edward. You will just make this worse.” She pauses and then speaks again, saying something I never thought I’d hear her say, “Go Jacob, you are what she needs now.”

 

Jacob doesn’t phase; I can tell he’s running on his two human feet. He might still be human, but the growl in his voice is the Alpha wolf speaking. The timber in his voice makes me shiver.  “I don’t know why the fuck you are here Seth, but protect us.”

 

 _Us? Jacob and I?_ This stops me cold. I’m not _just_ Jacob’s best friend, I’m his imprint. Having been around wolves and their imprints all my life, I know what this means. _Inseparable._ Mom was right before, I am a part of Jacob’s life. Jacob and I are an “ _us”_. I just never grasped that until now.

 

Pushing myself to move again, I find a clearing nearby. There is a downed tree at the edge which I move to sit on. Taking deep breaths, I try to calm myself down. Jacob will find me shortly and I need to talk to him, to understand all this. I can’t do that if I’m still freaking out.

 

My breath begins to even out but my mind is still racing. I’m again thinking about the other imprintees. It’s bizarre to think I’m one of those women. The more I consider each imprintee, the more worried I become. Each is bound to their wolf in such a profound way that you rarely see an imprintee without her wolf.

 

I can feel my shoulders slumping as I realize the weight of the truth. Being his imprint means so much more than just being with him as I’ve so desperately wished for. It means _my life_ , everything I do and want, is tied to him. His life is my life, and his wants & needs are mine.  There is one glaring difference though, Jacob is the tribe’s Chief.

 

Jacob’s hand feels warm against the skin of my shoulder. Twisting my head, I look up into the eyes of _my Jacob_. He has been with me my whole life, always right there beside me. I should have known, but I had no reason to suspect. Never a clue, not that I could see at least. My mind is such a jumble of thoughts that I don’t know if I’m angry or relieved.

 

He kneels down right in front of me. With me sitting on the downed tree trunk and him on the ground, we are eye-to-eye. He looks worried but I don’t know how to reassure him. Just as I’m considering taking his hand in mine, I feel the heat of his hands as they circle both of mine.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I want to shout at him, but I can only manage a strangled whisper.

 

My eyes dart away from his, glancing down at our hands; his sigh is loud in the clearing.

 

“Because I made a promise to your father; I wouldn’t tell you if he wouldn’t take you away from here. Being separated from you, even for a day, hurts me so much.”

 

Jacob’s voice sounds sincere and worried. It occurs to me that even though I’m in shock and I’m hurt by them hiding things from me, he has been burdened by this for _years_ now.

 

From where I sit, I can just barely see the light of the cottage. Even though I ran a good couple of miles, this clearing has a straight shot to the place I grew up in. It all looks different in some way; less of a fairy tale house and more of a foundation of lies.

 

Thinking that I could have left this place without knowing, that I could have possibly never seen Jacob again, cuts me to the core. He’s my best friend, and a part of my family. Even though I’ve made some new friends, I never felt like I had to spend as much time with them as I always have with Jacob.

 

His words keep playing on a loop in my head and I struggle to force myself to look back up at him. Once our eyes connect I see that fear again. I force one of my questions out past my tight throat, “Did Dad threaten to take me away?”

 

“No.” Jacob shakes his head, his hands adjusting their grip on mine as he continues, “He used my fear of losing you to make me agree that I wouldn’t tell you until your birthday.”

 

I nod. As I review his words I also consider the things I’ve heard my family say about my father. Over the years, I had, of course, heard them mention that he could be calculating if needed. However, I am surprised to learn he had been that way with Jacob. As far as I knew, Dad and Jacob have always gotten along well, understanding one another in a way that I never really grasped. Now it’s all starting to make sense; both of them were trying to keep this big secret from me.

 

“You really,” my throat is so dry I nearly choke around the words, “imprinted? On me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Jacob’s eyes are intense, boring into me, willing me to believe him; to understand why he’s kept this from me for so long-- especially given everything that has happened. Thoughts and memories begin to swirl in my brain. Jacob’s reaction when Embry imprinted on Lillah and refused to tell her. Jacob stumbling over his words when I asked him about imprinting. Jacob pulling back from me recently, keeping me at arm’s length.

 

As my mind moves quickly through my thoughts, I’m aware that Jacob moves closer, his chest almost touching my knees. I force myself not to move, but nearly jump when I feel his thumb brush the inside of my wrist. My next question escapes in my moment of surprise, “But-- didn’t you love my mom?” It’s a stupid question, and I’m stupid for asking. Logically I know there is nothing between them other than friendship. But _once_ there was something between them.

 

Jacob looks shocked, “Huh? No, Bella is my friend.”

 

I shake my head; knowing their history, “You did love her though, at one point?”

 

Jacob is quiet for a moment, breaking our eye contact for the first time, dropping his eyes to look at my hands. He speaks softly, “I thought I loved her, but that was before you. I was young. I was fiercely protective of Bella and I _thought_ that meant I was in love with her. Maybe I felt protective because I was meant to keep her from getting killed by Victoria, or being turned before she and Edward were married. If any of that had happened, she would never have had you. There wouldn’t be an imprint for me, Ness,” his hands tighten around mine before he speaks again. “I love Bella as a friend. But I think I loved the part of her that would be you. I love _all_ of you.”

 

My eyes grow wide in shock when I hear that, “You-- you love me?”

 

Jacob doesn’t hesitate, “Of course, I’ve loved you since you were born.”

 

My heart is going so fast in my chest at his words that I can’t think straight. More questions jump into my mind. _He loves me? Loves me like a friend-- or more? In love with me?_ I bite down on my tongue, clinching my hands into fists to keep from asking him my questions. Even with what I now know I’m still too afraid of the answer I may get.

 

My frown is obvious even to me, despite doing my best to hide it, but Jacob doesn’t say anything. Trying not to let myself get caught up in my negative thoughts, I try focusing on the positive. All the women of the tribe that I know are so happy with their wolves; married, having babies. My mind comes to a screeching halt. _Marriage and kids?_ I’m not ready for that, I don’t know if I ever will be.

 

While I love Jacob and I can’t imagine not having him in my life, I also can’t see myself making a commitment like marriage for some time. And kids - that just seems like such a “later” type of thing. I have stuff I’d like to do now; school to attend, friends to spend time with, and places I want to see. I want to travel the world more, study and experience art all over, and learn. Jacob and I have years to get to the point or marriage and kids - especially considering we aren’t getting any older - but I’m suddenly unsure if we really do have that time.

 

Finally, my fears bubble up and I’m speaking before I realize it, “Do we have to get married _now_?”

 

As soon as the words leave my mouth I cringe and my heart sinks. I don’t wish for Jacob to think he’s not important to me; that he isn’t my world. He is everything to me, I’m just not ready for _that_ step yet.

 

Jacob’s barking laughter makes me jump. When he calms down he shakes his head, “Just because I imprinted does not mean we have to get married right away, Ness. We have plenty of time; we have forever.” He leans closer to me, placing his hands on my arms and rubbing gently. In the past it hasn’t been out of the ordinary for Jacob to touch me, but this feels different. More intimate and less like my best friend.

 

I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Somehow, this lifts a little bit of weight off of my shoulders. When I look up at him again he looks nervous. My hands move to wrap around his thick forearms.

 

“Um, but we can-- if you wanted-- we could kiss sometime, and-- you know, whatever. Go on dates,” he mumbles.

 

When I process Jacob’s hesitant words my heart jerks in excitement and I suck in a deep breath. It’s so ironic that he is talking about kissing me when just the day before, I was asking Seth the same thing. I remind myself that I really need to thank Seth for not giving in to my request, even when I pushed him and he so obviously didn’t want to. Then I realize that Jacob might know. _Surely he would have said something?_ I look into his face, into his deep dark eyes and I see nothing but pure honesty and patience in them. If I tell him I want to wait for all of that, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he would. We could stay friends only and he’d be ok with my decision.

 

“I want to do all of that with you, Jake. You have no idea-- I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long.”

 

I don’t want to wait, but I’m not sure right this second is the perfect time for us to share our first of many kisses I hope to have in the future. We still have so many things we need to discuss, Jacob and I, as well as the two of us with my parents. As logical as that seems, my need to touch him, kiss him, make all the insanity of tonight seem real outweighs the logic. Clearly, logic is useless tonight. I couldn’t tell him no even if I knew it was for the best, not after wishing this moment would happen for most of my life. All doubt drifts away and I manage to nod my head once and Jacob’s smile is brilliant. Just seeing his smile makes me beam back at him.

 

He doesn’t say anything, but slowly moves his hand to my cheek, tilting my face to look at him. I watch as his face slowly descends, my eyes darting from his, down to his mouth then back up again. The lips I have dreamed of are approaching mine; but then he stops.

 

I panic a little, thinking that he’s having second thoughts, that maybe he’s not attracted to me at all and has realized he can’t kiss me. “What?”

 

“Nothing, just something I heard in the woods.” I shake my head at his explanation. I have excellent hearing but I didn’t hear anything. “Wait.”

 

His command doesn’t seem to be for me as his mouth starts aiming for mine again. My breathing is erratic and all I can see is him; his breath whispering over my face lightly as he draws closer. _This is it._ The moment I’ve been wanting for longer than I can remember.

 

“Jacob. I’m sorry man, but it’s Embry.” Seth’s voice unexpectedly cuts through the still night, stopping Jacob’s progress toward my lips.

 

I’m shocked when I hear Jacob snarl - actually snarl - at Seth. I’ve heard them play around before, growling at each other, making other defensive noises, but this is different. I feel a blush creep up my face when I realize that it’s actually kind of-- hot. Placing my hands over my face and shaking my head at myself I hear Jacob tell Seth, “He can wait.”

 

But something about it being in regards to Embry breaks me out of the moment, “What’s going on? Is Lillah ok?”

 

Jacob sighs, just as I turn to find Seth pacing anxiously. “I don’t know, he just called saying that her water broke? They are on their way to the hospital.” Seth pauses, and looks like it pains him to say the next part, “I’m sorry Jake, but Embry said Lillah wants Ness there.”

 

Instinctively I reach out and grasp Jacob’s arm. Lillah is in labor and even though I want to spend more time with Jacob, she is one of my best friends. I have to be there for her. “Jacob,” I say, turning to look up at him. I don’t even get the chance to finish my thought and we’re on the move.

 

“Seth, follow us,” Jacob’s voice is commanding and it sends a jolt up my spine. The three of us run back to the cottage where I quickly enter and explain to my parents what has happened.

 

“Lillah. Baby. Now.” I shout behind me while yanking shorts on, then a hoodie over my tank top. Mom appears in my doorway while I bounce back and forth from one foot to the other, putting my shoes on. Kissing her cheek and running back through the living room I wave over my shoulder.

 

I plow into Jacob, who didn’t enter the house, lingering outside with Seth. He’s dressed in jeans and a shirt now. When I give him a questioning look, he grins, “I keep a change of clothes here, just in case. Bella brought them out. Figured I needed a shirt to go into the hospital.”

 

As I nod, I’m struck with the realization that Jacob phased and ran here; he doesn’t have his car. The same with Seth. Before I can turn around Mom is there, a set of car keys in her hand.

 

“Take my car. Call and let us know how it goes,” she’s wearing a smile on her face and we hug quickly before Seth, Jacob and I take off.

 

The excitement coursing through my body is almost uncontainable. My legs bounce as I sit in the passenger seat while Jacob speeds down the highway. When a warm hand slides down my cheek I glance over at him. He’s flicking his eyes back and forth from my face to the road, making sure he keeps us steady. Before I detect his intentions his hand drops and clasps mine where it lays clenched on my bare thigh. I stare down at our hands. It’s not like this is the first time he’s ever held mine but it’s never been like this. I’ve never been his imprint until now, not knowingly.

 

I begin to space out a little, my mind once again jumping from one thought to another. Remembering everything that happened tonight then brings up other memories with Jacob. With my hand in his, I flash back to a time when we sat in the living room at the main house, watching a movie on the big screen there. Jacob’s hand was open, palm up, in mine and I traced patterns on his tanned skin. His fingers twitched several times, then he pulled away, wrapping my hand in his and holding it immobile. _If I only knew then..._

 

The sound of Jacob’s voice pulls me out of my trance. “Lillah’s going to be fine, Ness. Don’t be nervous. Embry will be freaking out enough for all of us.” There’s a half smile on his lips and it makes me giggle a little because I know he’s right; Embry is probably panicking right now. Poor guy.

 

“Too bad we can’t really get him drunk. He’s going to need it before she pops this kid out,” Seth pipes up, his elbows propped up on the back of the two front seats.

 

My eyes are still glued on Jacob’s hand wrapped around mine, fascinated by the way his thumb strokes my skin every few seconds. When neither of us says anything, Seth continues, “Then again, _we_ might be the ones that need a drink. He’s going to drive us insane until Halona is here.”

 

I see Jacob glance over at Seth from my peripheral vision but I’m a little surprised by what he says, “Sit your ass back, Seth.”

 

Hearing Jacob boss Seth around makes me giggle a little. When I turn back I see Seth roll his eyes as he flops back against the seat, “Can do.” He is squeezed into the car, his knees bent nearly to his chest from the lack of leg room.

 

“You really could have taken the passenger seat, Seth. It would have been more comfortable than being squished in back there,” I tell him, feeling guilty seeing how obviously uncomfortable he is right now.

 

Seth grins at me and his eyes flick down then back up. “Nah, you and Jake look pretty cozy.” I feel a little flush of heat slide over my face when he does it again, this time letting his gaze linger on my hand in Jacob’s. I shake my head at my friend’s silliness just as I hear a low growl next to me. My head jerks back to Jacob, my eyes wide in surprise. _His_ eyes are narrowed on Seth and he has actually stopped in the middle of the road.

 

“You can’t be serious right now, Jake,” I say with exasperation, glancing between the two of them. Seth is glaring right back at Jacob, not backing down. “Both of you are ridiculous. What is this all about? Because Seth and I are friends? We’re suppose to be on our way to the hospital, Jacob Black.” _Sigh._ If I weren’t trapped in a car with these two idiots I would be stomping my foot on the ground right now. I contemplate shoving Jacob into the back seat and taking over the driving duties myself, but even right after hunting I’m not strong enough to lift Jacob over the seat.

 

However, I’m getting more and more anxious to see Lillah and these two stubborn wolves aren’t helping. For all I know, she’s already pushing, which just gets me more irritated at the pair of them. Frowning at the guys I shove both of them on a shoulder, pulling their attention back to me.

 

“You drive, Jacob. Seth, you sit back there and be quiet.” Ridiculous, the entire lot of these guys. I’ve never seen a group that fights as much as they do, nor have I seen a family that could love one another more. Even though that aren’t blood related, you’d never know they weren’t if you met them randomly.

 

Jacob surprises me by humbly apologizing. I’ve seen Embry react like that to Lillah but I never thought it would happen between Jacob and I. I manage to suppress my surprise when I notice how abashed he looks. The rest of the ride to the hospital is strangely quiet.

 

Jacob screeches into the parking lot and I jump out before he has time to put the car in park. His presence went a little way to calm me but now that we are here I’m nervous again.

 

I’m barely through the door when I’m greeted by Sam. He tells me that Emily is in the back with Lillah and Embry but he’s been instructed to let them know when I arrive. Just then, Kim peeks her head out and spots me, waving me over. She sneaks me back into a brightly lit room where Lillah is propped up on a stark white bed, her husband and sister-in-law each holding her hand.

 

“NESS! I’m going to have a baby!” Lillah’s face lights up when she spots me hovering by the door.

 

“I know,” I tell her with a laugh. She lifts her hand from Emily and motions for me to come to the side of the bed. Emily moves aside as I reach Lillah. When I’m next to her, I take in her glowing face; she’s beautiful, her hair pulled back and a flush on her cheeks. I glance over at Embry who is gripping her hand, he looks pale and tense. To be honest, he looks like he’s about to hit the floor.

 

“Hi, Embry.” I pull his gaze from Lillah and it’s as if he just realized I’m there. He mutters my name in greeting and I take pity on him. “Jacob should be in the lobby by now.”

 

“Embry, go say hi to Jacob and let him know I’m ok.” Embry glances between Lillah and me, his eyes finally landing on her belly. Lillah moves their joined hands to where he’s looking then grabs his attention, “I promise, she won’t be joining us any time soon. Our little girl is pretty comfortable right now.”

 

Embry slowly nods then leans down and whispers in Lillah’s ear. She grins and nods then gives him a quick kiss before sending him out. He glances back at her when he reaches the door but she gives him a peaceful smile and he leaves. Once he’s out of the room, my focus turns back to Lillah.

 

“How are you really feeling, Lillah? How is Embry doing? How’s the baby? When is she going to arrive?” I ask as I glance over my shoulder then back again. Kim and Emily both giggle a little and shake their heads.

 

“I feel fine, I promise. We don’t know when she’s going to arrive, she appears to have her own timetable. I mean, I’m dilated a couple of centimeters now but-- it could still be a while,” she tells me while reaching for my hand. “I’m so thankful you’re here. And that you brought Jacob with you. I’d hoped you two were together when Embry called Seth to search for Jake.”

 

“Oh. Well. We were together but we were kind of in the middle of something when Seth tracked us down--.”

 

“In the middle of something?” Lillah’s eyes brighten a little more and she looks over at Kim and Emily before turning back to me, sitting up as straight as possible in her hospital bed.

 

“Yeah--.” As excited as I am to tell these women about the developments of tonight, I shouldn’t be their main focus. 

 

“What happened? Did we interrupt... something?” Lillah grins and I feel my face heat in a flush.

 

I rapidly shake my head, “No, nothing happened. It’s a long story, Lillah. Besides, we are here for you and your family. Not to gossip about Jake and I.”

 

“Oh, no you don’t!” Emily is beside me in a flash, grinning. “Trust me, we have time for a long story. I was in labor for ten hours. Tell us what happened.”

 

I’m shaking my head but when I look over and see Lillah smiling like a little girl, I can’t deny her. “Ok. Just calm down. We don’t want Lillah to get too worked up.”

 

“What? I’m already in labor, too late now. I’m getting worked up that you won’t tell us. Stop stalling and spill.” I want to laugh at how much she sounds like Rachel right now. She’s too focused on the story to worry about herself.

 

Taking a deep breath, I try to condense the nights events. I’m sure they all know the background already, but it’s easier to start at the beginning. “Jacob and my dad had an agreement, about me, which you probably already know about. It would seem that I’m Jacob’s imprint. Which he has failed to tell me. As have all of my _friends_.”

 

Not a single one of them looks ashamed. Kim pipes up, “And how do you feel about that?”

 

“Feel about what? Being lied to? Being kept in the dark?” I’m not angry at any of these women, but I’m still hurt that none of them told me.

 

“No,” Lillah speaks softly, “being his imprint.”

 

“I don’t know; I’m still in shock.” That is the honest truth. I have so many emotions running through my body right now that I can’t focus on any single one to know how I feel.

 

The door to the hospital room opens and we all turn to see who’s coming in. We sigh in relief when we see Rachel closing the door behind her.

 

“I’m here. Sorry for the delay! Paul has been driving like a grandma ever since we found out I’m pregnant. What did I miss?”

 

Emily, Kim, and Lillah groan in unison. Emily speaks for the group, “Get used to it, it only gets worse from here. Oh, yeah, and your brother finally told Ness about imprinting on her.”

 

Rachel shrieks in excitement before pulling me into a tight hug. She only lets me go when the door to the hospital room opens and five large men do their best to squeeze in all at once.

 

Emily and Kim manage the guys, explaining it was just Rachel getting excited, while Rachel pulls me closer to Lillah. Once the door to the room closes again, Emily and Kim join our little group around Lillah.

 

“Ok, give me all the details. What happened? I’m so excited you finally know! It has been killing me to keep this a secret!”

 

Before I can reply, Lillah clutches her abdomen, her face contorting in pain. After what feels like an eternity she finally relaxes, glancing over at Kim, “First one.”

 

“First of many.” Kim checks an output from the monitor beside her. “She’s ok though. We’ve started timing.”

 

Rachel glances around the room, “Should we go? We can discuss this later, let Embry come in and be with his wife.”

 

“No! Don’t go yet! Embry is too worried right now. Let the guys help calm him down. There’s nothing he can do and I’m fine.”

 

Emily glances at Kim and she nods in agreement with Lillah’s assessment, “She has plenty of time to yell at Embry for getting her in this state.”

 

Lillah chuckles, “I won’t yell at him, it was my idea. He was just a willing participant.” She glances up at Rachel, “See what you have to look forward to?”

 

“I can’t wait.” Rachel rubs her hand over her stomach. Now that I can focus on her, I can clearly see that her normally flat stomach has rounded slightly.

 

Lillah narrows her eyes at Rachel, “Are you sure you’re only three months?”

 

“I promise, I’m only three months.” Rachel glances over at Kim and grins. When Kim nods, Rachel breaks out into a huge smile, “I am having twins though.”

 

My mouth drops open and I look around at the other girls, who each have the same reaction-- except for Kim, who is grinning along with Rachel. “Twins?” I ask, stunned by this news. Of course, I know Rachel is a twin herself, but the idea of her having two babies inside her right now is mind blowing.

 

“Yep!” Rachel blushes. “It was confirmed yesterday during our ultrasound. It’s kind of funny, we had so much trouble getting pregnant at first and now we’re getting two at one time.”

 

The hugging starts again. When I get my chance to hug Rachel and congratulate her, she surprises me. “I can’t wait for my babies to meet their Aunt Ness.”

 

The tears start immediately and I do my best to hide them, but I’m not fast enough. As I’m swiping at my eyes, Lillah stretches her hand out for me to join her. I feel so silly for reacting this way, but I run to Lillah’s side, relieved when she pulls me into a tight hug.

 

I am overly emotional, I know. Some days being a teenage girl is like riding a roller coaster the whole day - I don’t know up from down. _Especially days like today when I find out I’m an imprintee._ Once I manage to slow the tears down to just some sniffles, Lillah releases me. Emily slides a chair over for me so I can sit but still be beside Lillah. More chairs appear and we are all surrounding the bed.

 

“Want to tell us about it?” Emily asks softly. “I promise, we’ve all been where you are right now.”

 

“I’m just so confused. I don’t know who to trust. Everyone, my family and my friends, knew and never told me.” The tears threaten again but I manage to push them back.

 

Lillah sighs, “Ness, I know how you feel right now.” When I look up at her I nod, knowing she’s telling me the truth. Lillah, more than any other person in the world, understands. “Take a deep breath; Jacob so desperately wanted to tell you before tonight. Even the first time I met you I could tell it was on the tip of his tongue, but he was bound by a promise.”

 

“I know,” I sigh. Hearing Lillah explain the circumstances helps me focus more on what has me so upset. “I don’t get why he made that promise in the first place though. What could have possibly made him agree to the deal with Dad?”

 

“He was scared.” Rachel pipes up. She shakes her head, sadness filling her face.

 

“You were just a baby, Ness, but Jacob was willing to do whatever he had to do to keep you here.” Emily pauses then smiles, “You know he phased in front of your grandfather, right?”

 

“Sure, so Grandpa could see Mom,” I respond softly, hating bringing up Jacob’s relationship with my mother.

 

“That’s true, but not the main reason.” Emily sighs. “Jacob phased so Charlie could see what he was. He did do it so Charlie could see your Mom, but also so Bella and Edward would stay in Forks. So _you_ would stay in Forks. Your aunts and uncles were discussing leaving Forks right after you were born, going east. Jacob did what he had to do to keep you here, even if that meant exposing all of us to an _outsider_.”

 

I’m shocked by Emily’s explanation. I don’t remember any of this. All I remember from the days after my birth come from the stories I’ve been told. I’ve tried so many times to pull up those memories, somehow use my gift to recall, but they are gone.

 

“When did he make this promise? _Right_ after I was born?” I look up at Emily and Rachel, since they are the ones that would know best what was happening during that time.

 

Rachel shakes her head, “No, it was after your ‘first’ birthday party. You’ll have to ask Jacob for the details. All I know is he came back that night and called us all together. We were told never again to mention you being his imprint. One mistake could mean you would be taken away from Forks. None of us wanted that to happen, so we agreed.”

 

When I turn to Emily she has tears in her eyes. She wipes them away but her smile is sad, “We agreed, but it was difficult for all of us, Ness. You were there, a part of our family, and yet we had to keep you at a distance out of fear of losing you completely.”

 

The room is quiet as I process this information. I jump when I see Lillah clutching her belly again. Kim moves to check the print out as Lillah starts to relax again. As I hand her the ice chips beside the bed, Kim smiles over at Lillah, “She’s fine, you are at about twelve minutes apart. You ok?”

 

“I’m ok. Maybe one more then I think it’s time for Embry to join. He won’t like missing this, even though he’s going to flip each time it happens.”

 

“Lillah,” I sigh, “we can go. Embry shouldn’t miss _any_ part of this.”

 

She huffs at me, “Stay where you are. I need him as relaxed as possible when he gets in here. I know Sam and Jacob will help calm him down. Until the next one hits, you have my full attention.” When I reluctantly agree, she smiles softly, “Good. I am sorry I kept the secret from you. I didn’t like it at all and I probably yelled at Jacob more than I should have, but you deserved to know the truth.”

 

A gasp escapes my mouth as I picture Lillah yelling at Jacob. “Really? You yelled at him?”

 

“We all did,” Kim says softly. Emily and Rachel nod in agreement.

 

“We understood, but that doesn’t mean we agreed.” Rachel gives me a small grin, “I may have also told Paul to yell at Jacob for me too.”

 

My gasp transforms into a full on laugh. Hearing that my friends have been arguing on my behalf for years makes me feel so loved. Even if their protests fell on deaf ears, the fact that they were willing to stand up to Jacob for me means the world.

 

“Thank you,” I whisper out. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

 

“Of course. You are part of our family. We would do anything for you.” Emily’s smile is loving and there is no doubt in my mind about the sincerity of her words.

 

“However, we do have to yell at you now,” Rachel says with narrowed eyes pointed right at me.

 

When I look around, the other women are in agreement with her, all either frowning at me or narrowing eyes, or some combination of the two. I slide back in my chair, pulling my knees up as I cringe, “What?”

 

Lillah is apparently leading this charge, “Are you really leaving us for Seattle to go to college in September?”

 

Her question surprises me so much that I can’t respond right away. After a few attempts at speaking, I finally manage to say, “How did you find out?”

 

“Same way Jacob did, Seth let it slip,” Rachel frowns. “Oh, and in case you didn’t know, Jacob is _pissed_ at Seth right now. Paul and I saw him yelling at Seth in the parking lot as we came in.”

 

My feet push me up to standing without my thinking about it, “What? No! Jacob can’t hurt Seth. He didn’t do anything.”

 

Lillah grabs my hand before I can move, “They are big boys and will work it out. You are better off staying here and letting them argue it out.”

 

“No, it’s my fault. I’m the one that pushed Seth. He didn’t do anything. I have to explain to Jacob.” Lillah releases my hand but I’m quickly stopped again by Emily.

 

“Lillah is right. You can explain to Jacob later. There are four other wolves out there that will make sure Jacob doesn’t hurt Seth.” She leads me back to my seat, “Now sit and tell us what else is going on.”

 

I don’t want to sit, but I know Emily is right. Sam, Embry, Jared, and Paul will not let Jacob harm Seth. That doesn’t make me feel better though. I cringe at the idea that Jacob might find out about me asking Seth to kiss me. It was a stupid thing to do and I didn’t really want to kiss him, but how in the world can Jacob ever believe that? Someone clearing their throat pulls me out of my own head and I glance around. Four faces are staring at me rather expectantly.

 

“Seth hasn’t known about college for very long. I kept it from him too. It just seemed like if I told any of you, it would make it real. I wasn’t ready for that yet.”

 

“Ness,” Kim whispers. When my eyes find hers there is an odd pain there, “I don’t know what your plans are, but you need to know, it isn’t easy being away from your wolf.”

 

Kim is a Physician’s Assistant. When she left for school I was still pretty young, but I remember Jacob hating being around Jared. “Jared wasn’t the most pleasant guy to be around then, I remember.”

 

“There’s that,” Kim nods, “but it wasn’t easy for me, either. My first day away I knew it was going to be a rough time. I crammed two years worth of school into a year. I did it so I could get back sooner and so I would be so exhausted I wouldn’t have time to think about the fact that Jared and I were separated. Being apart,” she shakes her head, “it’s painful, and not just the emotional part of missing him. My whole body ached with the need to return to him. I don’t know how I did it. I wouldn’t recommend it if you can avoid it at all.”

 

My stomach clenches as Kim finishes speaking. I can’t remember a day in which Jacob hasn’t been with me, but it is different now. While I love being around these women, I’m aware that Jacob isn’t here. There is an urge deep within me to go find him. Just like Kim described, I’m missing Jacob. I always thought that longing was because _I_ was the one with feelings for _him_.

 

Shaking my head I try to blink away the tears that have started to water up. Just thinking about leaving everyone I love is tearing me up. And now with these new revelations, it makes it even harder to think about.

 

“So if Seth hasn’t known about you leaving for very long,” Rachel interrupts my thoughts, “why is Jacob so upset with him?”

 

Biting my lip, I can’t look any of these women in the eye as I explain. “I suppose he found out something that happened yesterday.

 

“When he found out I was leaving, Seth told me I had to tell Jake right away. I didn’t understand why that was so important and the two of us sort of argued about it. Thinking back on Seth’s words they make more sense now. He actually laughed at me when I mentioned Jacob imprinting on someone.”

 

Rachel’s snicker makes me roll my eyes at her, but I still don’t glance up.

 

“I was upset; over Jake, school, how to tell everyone and then Seth being the first to find out.” I look down at my hand still in Lillah’s as I whisper the truth. “I asked Seth to kiss me yesterday,” I begin but have to pause because gasps all around the room are followed by murmurs of dread. _That definitely stopped Rachel’s laughter._

 

When the room is quiet again, I continue, “I was confused and angry. Seth is also one of my best friends but I don’t feel anything for him. I wanted to understand what made him so different from Jacob; why I felt so much for Jacob and yet nothing for Seth, despite both of them being wonderful men. Plus, I was afraid. Ever since Embry imprinted I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop, expecting Jacob to imprint on someone and leave me.”

 

As soon as the explanation if out of my mouth I feel my face heat up. I look up at them through my eyelashes, expecting looks of horror. Instead, they all look amused and understanding. I haven’t been this relieved in a while. My shoulders rise and fall with a sigh.

 

“Ness, did you honestly think that Jake would ever move on to someone else? He adores you, sweetie.” Lillah’s voice is reassuring and her face is open and readable. I can tell by the expression she hopes I believe her words.

 

“I did. How could I have known it was me he imprinted on? He never gave me any indication. Nobody did. Then when Embry imprinted I-- just knew it would only be a matter of time before Jacob imprinted too. With him being Alpha I couldn’t imagine him not having an imprint. I couldn’t have handled seeing him with someone else.”

 

My words drop off so low on the last part of my statement that they come out as a whisper. I feel so silly, making these confessions but I believe my friends would never judge me or my heart. They will only be understanding and supportive of me. Then it hits me, the reason we’ve all grown a little closer since Lillah and Embry found one another; there was one particular reason for that.

 

“You said you yelled at him for me?” I giggle a little at the image that forms in my head, “All that time, were you all trying to force him to tell me? Inviting me to dinners and things, even when you were all coupled up?”

 

“Ness,” Rachel leans close to me and maneuvers her face so we are eye to eye, “we love you. You are an amazing person and friend. That you are my brother’s imprintee is an added _bonus_. We want you in our lives regardless. Not just because of that. It was a-- double bonus that I got to rub his stupidity in his face every chance I got.”

 

The room erupts in laughter and then Lillah clutches her belly. “That one was a bit stronger and a little closer to the last,” she rubs her tummy after it’s relaxed again. “I think it might be time to bring Embry in, Kim.” Her face looks excited and a little frightened.

 

I stand quickly, hug her as best I can and wish her luck before I slip over to the door, giving the others space to do the same. Kim goes to get Embry while Emily and Rachel lead the way to the waiting room. I catch a glimpse of Seth standing outside the waiting room. His throat is red but he gives me a reassuring smile. I’m hoping he and Jacob have worked all this out, but I know there will still be tension until I can explain myself.

 

The feeling of someone watching me pulls my eyes up. My gaze lands on Jacob, his eyes steady on me. I drop my arms and without even thinking, I run to him. His arms spread wide, opening to me as I sort of leap and he catches me, wrapping his arms around me tightly. Any worry I had when I first walked into the hospital is gone as soon as his scent envelopes me. He smells the same as he always has and while it’s comforting, it also brings about new emotions and sensations.

 

I lean in closer, bringing our bodies against one another as I wrap my arms around him, gripping his back, twisting his shirt as I feel him lift me off the ground. It almost feels like I’m hanging on for dear life. Even if I am, I know Jacob will hold onto me. His nose presses into the skin of my neck, his warm breath sending a chill up my spine. Whatever doubts I might have about this imprinting business, I know he’ll always be by my side. He’s my best friend. Always has been and always will be.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** You can put down your pitchforks. No cliffy this chapter. Aren’t you proud of us? Next time, Jacob, so get ready, because he is fired up.


	6. Long Time Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SM owns the characters - we own lots of make up.
> 
> A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read. While we write for ourselves, we love sharing with you. Knowing you enjoy this story makes us uber giddy!

** Chapter 6 “Long Time Coming” **

 

_It's been a long time coming_

_And the table's turned around_

_'Cause one of us is going_

_One of us is going down_

_I'm not running,_

_It's a little different now_

_'Cause one of us is going_

_One of us is going down_

“You’re Going Down” - Sick Puppies

 

** JPOV **

 

-0-

 

I have to remind myself every few seconds to look away from Ness to make sure I keep all four tires on the road. The only reason why I even agreed to go to the hospital is because I know how much this means to her.

 

Her legs bouncing catches my eye. Her shorts are just that, short, and I’m itching to touch the exposed skin of her thighs. My hand actually moves toward her leg, but I manage to stop, pulling it up quickly to brush her cheek instead. Her eyes jump to mine and I can see her hands clenching the skin of her thighs just out of the corner of my eye. My hand moves so fast, I can’t stop it this time. As I grip one of her hands in mine, I take note of the feeling of her bare skin beneath my fingertips; smooth and silky.

 

My need for her jumps to the forefront of my mind. I don’t care that Lillah is about to have a baby or that Seth is crammed in the backseat of the car. She finally knows that she is my imprint and I want to start taking the next steps in our relationship. Starting with kissing her. _Then quickly moving to kissing all over her body, including those thighs._ My cringe is not at the thought, but at how much I have to fight myself to stop from acting on it.

 

Returning my eyes to the road is difficult, but my need to keep her safe pushes me. My hand stays wrapped around hers though. Now that she knows, I don’t feel like I have to hold myself back from these small connections with her that mean so much to me.

 

An image of myself shaking violently while Edward stands in front of me jumps into my mind. Immediately I recognize that even though I’m shaking, my face is how Ness sees it, not what I see in the mirror. My eyes dart over to her but she is lost in thought. _Did she mean to share that with me? Did I just imagine it?_ As far as I know, her ability only works when her hand touches someones cheek.

 

Looking back at the road, I let my mind wander back to that moment earlier this evening. _I have never been so angry, so pissed off at someone in my life. When I made the agreement with Edward I never thought he’d take it so fucking far. I wanted to kill him, let my wolf loose and attack. However, as soon as Ness approached us I could feel myself calming down._

 

_With the calm came a realization: my girl is stubborn, there was no way she was going to let this one go. When she demanded to be told what was going on, she made me so proud I felt like I could start glowing. I’ll be eternally grateful to Bella for talking sense into Edward. Whether Edward liked it or not, the time had come to finally tell Ness._

 

_“Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I imprinted on you the day you were born. You are my imprintee.”_

 

It takes everything in me not to jump when I hear my own words repeated in my mind. When I glance at Ness again, her eyes are on me, but they are glazed over. She is going through the events of the night in her mind and has no idea she’s sharing. They are just flashes, not full memories like she normally shows me, but I know without a shadow of a doubt they are coming from her, from her hand being wrapped in mine. I need to tell her, but I’m selfish, desperate to have some sort of insight into what is going through her mind right now. _I’ll tell her later,_ I promise myself before my memories drift back to what she just showed me.

 

_The moment I knew I could finally tell her, I let every emotion filter through my voice as I said the words I’d been practicing in my head for the last few months. I could feel the weight of the secret lifting off my chest. I hadn’t felt so relaxed or relieved since she was born. It had hurt me so much, keeping the secret from her for so long. By hurting me, it hurt her as well._

 

_It was so surreal that I felt like I needed to pinch myself to make sure I had really finally told Ness. It would be the cruelest nightmare if I were to wake up and find out it was just a dream._

 

_However, the shocked look on her face was the splash of reality I needed. It wasn’t a dream, but my Ness needed me. No doubt this was not what she expected her parents and I were arguing about. While I’d held out hope she would eventually figure it out on her own, the look on her face told me she’d had no clue until the moment I told her._

 

I’m prepared when she hits me with the next memory, almost expecting it. I look through her eyes as she runs through the woods and hears her mother’s voice from a distance. “Go Jacob, you are what she needs now.”

 

_I couldn’t tell which came first, Bella telling me to go after her or my instincts kicking into high gear and my body preparing to catch up with Ness. Even as she was speaking the words, I was running after my imprint. Seth’s appearance irritated me, especially since Ness had such an odd reaction to seeing him right after I told her about imprinting._

 

_As much as I wanted to question him, find out what was going on, I followed her, shouting for Seth to protect us. Seth fell in behind me as I ran in human form. There was no time to pull off my shorts and as much as I wanted to let my wolf loose, that would mean nothing to cover myself with when I finally caught up with her. While I’m not modest by any means, staying clothed was important to keep her at ease._

 

_Seth dropped back as I caught up to her. The clearing she stopped in was the same one I’ve been using to keep an eye on her over the last couple of weeks._

 

_I slowly approached the downed tree she selected to sit on. There was no hesitation in my hand reaching out to touch her shoulder as soon as I reached her. When she looked up at me, the hurt on her face twisted my gut, bringing me to my knees in front of her. I will never forgive myself for being so stupid, for hurting her so much. I was stupid for agreeing to the arrangement in the first place._

 

_Taking her hand in mine, I did my best to explain it all, pouring my heart out as much as I could. As she asked me questions, I answered honestly, hoping to make up for any heartache I may have caused her over the years. With every heartbeat, I was moving closer to her. All I wanted was to pull her into my arms and never let go. Just as my chest was about to touch her knees, she shocked me back to reality, asking about Bella._

 

I’m anticipating her next memory, hopeful she includes her emotions as well, but also scared to know what she was feeling then. It’s hard for me to remember feeling something other than friendship for Bella. Once upon a time I did think I was in love with her but after Ness was born I realized how immature I’d been then. My feelings for Bella were nothing compared to what I feel for Ness. She’s everything to me. My tether to the world.

 

The memory hits me like a ton of bricks, “Of course, I’ve loved you since you were born.”

 

_I wanted to say so much more, or for her to understand what I was trying to say. As much as I wanted to tell her how much I love her right that second, I held back. The wolf in me held me back; it wasn’t the right time, we weren’t ready. As anxious as I was, I would save those precious words for another time. I knew I was doing the right thing but it still cut me down to my soul to see the frown cross her face._

 

 _I waited patiently as she worked through her emotions. I was expecting her to jump to another subject, but I was not prepared for where her mind went to next. “Do we have to get married_ now _?”_

 

_The question cut the thick air around us and I was unable to hold in my laughter as her words sunk in. My body returned to leaning closer to her as I explained that we didn’t have to get married just because I imprinted on her. I wanted to tell her more, but the air around us changed again._

 

_My eyes were drawn down to her mouth just as Ness started nibbling on her bottom lip. I was lost then, my focus completely shifted to my need for her. My brain was shouting that we had more things to hash out, but I ignored it as I nervously asked my beautiful imprint if I could finally kiss her. The words were out before I even realized I had formed them._

 

The next memory Ness puts in my mind is not of tonight, but from months ago. I remember the night clearly as soon as I see her pale fingers tracing over the lines of my hands. However, I don’t have time to focus on that night before another picture jumps into my mind; Lillah.

 

“Lillah’s going to be fine, Ness,” I reassure her. “Don’t be nervous. Embry will be freaking out enough for all of us.” Her soft giggle comforts me, and I relax knowing that she hasn’t caught on to the fact that she’s sharing what’s going through her mind.

 

“Too bad we can’t really get him drunk. He’s going to need it before she pops this kid out,” Seth speaking from the backseat surprises me. I’ve been so focused on seeing these memories from Ness that I forgot he was in the car with us.

 

As he leans forward, propping his elbows on the back of the seats, my thumb slides over her hand. I really want to pull her into my lap and growl “MINE” at Seth, but my hand on hers will have to be enough for now.

 

Even though Ness and I are both quiet, Seth, like always, keeps talking. “Then again, _we_ might be the ones that need a drink. He’s going to drive us insane until Halona is here.”

 

I know he’s cracking jokes to ease the tension but it isn’t helping. “Sit your ass back, Seth,” I growl out. I want to say more, but I’m saving that for when Seth and I are alone and I can kick his ass like I want to. It gives me a little satisfaction to know he’s uncomfortably stuffed in the backseat of Bella’s car.

 

Ness again shares a thought, but this one completely blindsides me. It’s of Seth, only the normally happy guy looks stoic and slightly uncomfortable. Ness’ voice in my mind is pleading with him, “Please, won’t you help me?”

 

I can feel Seth glancing at Ness’ hand in mine and it sends me over the edge. The wolf is ready to escape as I catch Seth’s eyes in the rear view mirror. I stop the car abruptly, ready to get out and find out what the fuck has been going on between Seth and my imprint.

 

I’m just about to reach for the door handle to get out when Ness speaks, “You can’t be serious right now, Jake.”

 

My eyes jerk back to Seth but before I can reach to rip him apart, Ness grabs my attention again. “Both of you are ridiculous. What is this all about? Because Seth and I are friends? We’re suppose to be on our way to the hospital, Jacob Black.”

 

 _Friends?_ I want to believe her, but what she just shared with me did not sound like friends. It looked like my imprint begging Seth for help with-- _something_.

 

Ness’ hand pushing against my shoulder returns my attention to her. She does not look happy, in fact, she looks like she wants to kick _my_ ass right now.

 

“You drive, Jacob. Seth, you sit back there and be quiet,” she huffs.

 

Seeing Ness so angry at me completely changes my focus. As much as I’m still seething at Seth, all I can think about is making her happy. “Sorry Ness,” I whisper as I get the car moving again.

 

I don’t stop again until we are in front of the hospital. I give her fingers one last squeeze before she climbs out. She gives me a nervous smile then she’s gone. I watch her walk into the building, my eyes following her movements until she disappears from sight. Sighing, I slowly drive away from the entrance to one of the parking lots on the side of the building.

 

“It’s about time,” Seth’s voice pipes up from the back seat. After Ness got so upset with me, my thoughts centered on her to the point that I once again forgot he was there. Now that she’s gone, my anger at Seth returns with a vengeance.

 

As soon as I shove the car into park, I jump out, pull open the back door with one hand and reach in to grab Seth by his neck with the other. Now that Ness is safe in the hospital, I am going to find out what the hell is going on between them, even if I have to force the information out of Seth.

 

Before I can threaten him, Seth shakes his head, “You can kick my ass all you want, Jake. I’m not going to tell you. Like I said before, ask her.”

 

Seth’s calm demeanor enrages me more. “She _begged_ you to help her with something. What was it, Seth?” I snarl at him as I shove his body against the car. I’ll probably have to fix Bella’s car later, but it’ll be worth it to finally kick Seth’s ass like I want to.

 

“Ask. Her.” Seth says calmly.

 

Tonight has been the first time in a long time that I’ve had to fight to remain calm. I once again push the wolf in me back, but just barely, as I shout, “I’m asking _you_.”

 

Seth shakes his head. “Jacob, she’s my friend. I’m not going to tell you anything other than I turned her down and told her to talk to you.”

 

 _Turned her down?_ This stops me cold. _What could Ness have asked of Seth that he would turn her_ down _?_ The possibilities are endless, and yet every single one is more concerning than the last.

 

“Screw your friendship, she’s my fucking imprint. Tell me what the hell is going on with her!” My grip tightens on Seth’s throat. He could push me off, but he’s not making any moves to fight back. His lack of aggression is disturbing to me. Just as I’m considering swinging him around to the ground, I feel a hand on my shoulder rip me back from Seth.

 

I jerk around to fight off whoever dared to touch me. Paul hasn’t moved his hand from my shoulder, continuing to pull me back even as I initially fight him. It isn’t until he’s pulled me back a few feet from Seth that I realize Rachel is standing on the other side of the parking lot.

 

“Go inside, Rach. I’ll handle these two. We’ll be in shortly.” Rachel nods hesitantly before dashing across the parking lot for the hospital doors.

 

“Whatever is going on,” Paul growls out, “get over it.”

 

Pushing against Paul, I release myself from his grip before shouting back at him, “I don’t know what’s going on because he won’t fucking tell me.” I’m snarling and aiming for Seth again when Paul tackles me to the ground.

 

“Did you touch Ness, Seth? If you did I’m going to release him and let him tear your ass apart.” Paul has my head pushed into the asphalt so I can’t see Seth’s face.

 

“I didn’t touch her.” Seth’s voice sounds disgusted. Much like I feel.

 

Paul pulls me back up to standing then shoves my back against Bella’s car. “You heard him. He didn’t touch her. Now chill the fuck out. You can finish this another time. Embry needs us, especially you Jacob. He needs his Alpha to keep him calm during this.”

 

Paul doesn’t release me. I could fight him, but I’m guessing he’d call for back-up if needed. My only way of getting free is to agree to his terms. I nod once and he steps back, freeing me from his grip.

 

“We aren’t done, Seth.” Taking deep breaths, I try to calm myself down enough to walk into the hospital without raising suspicion.

 

Seth shrugs at me, but as much as I want to attack, I know Paul is right. I let Paul pull me toward the building in front of us. He pauses about halfway, glancing over his shoulder as he speaks, “I’d recommend staying out here for a little while. At least until Ness can return to keep him under control.”

 

I don’t bother to look back to see if Seth agrees. When we enter the waiting room the rest of the guys are the only ones there. Paul takes a seat one chair over from Jared while Embry paces back and forth. Embry is nodding at whatever Sam is saying to him from his spot by the door. All of the girls must be back with Lillah, which would make sense, with Embry being out in the lobby with his brother.

 

A shrieking noise grabs all of our attention, but Embry is the first one to dash out of the waiting area. We all easily catch up with him as he reaches what I assume is Lillah’s room. The door swings wide and my eyes seek out Ness. I’m pushing forward into the room along with Embry, Sam, Jared, and Paul.

 

“Guys, Sam, stop.” Emily steps in front of us, quickly followed by Kim.

 

Kim reaches out for Embry, “She’s fine, it was Rachel.”

 

“Rachel?” Paul gasps.

 

Emily shakes her head, “Excitement only, nothing for you to worry about.”

 

“Are you sure Lillah and the baby are fine?” Embry chokes out.

 

Emily and Kim both nod, but it’s Kim that responds, “I’m sure. I promise you, Embry, I’m monitoring both of them very carefully. I won’t let anything happen to your girls.”

 

This assurance from Kim eases Embry. Emily gives Sam a look and Sam nods before taking Embry by the shoulders and turning him around. We file back into the waiting room. The silence is deafening. Glancing around the room, I feel the helplessness in each man like it is my own. Each of us has the power to tear apart a vampire, but that does us no good right now.

 

We all know Lillah is in safe hands with Kim and the staff of the hospital, but the worry is something we all live with every day. Our imprints are a part of us. The fear of losing them can be overwhelming if you let it. At times like this, that fear creeps up on all of us. I take a deep breath to calm myself down a little. As long as I know Ness is ok, that’s what matters to me. Sam, Jared, and Paul return to their seats while Embry continues his pacing. Being so full of agitation myself, I start walking back and forth too, the route I take opposite of Embry’s.

 

Seth arrives a few minutes later, but I ignore him, continuing to pace. I hear Sam ask Seth what’s going on once when I pass him. He mutters something but I choose not to pay attention as I walk by. Since I walked into the building I’ve tried to keep myself focused on pretending he’s not here. If I think about what Seth said too much the lava in my veins will boil over and things will get nasty quickly; which would be bad, especially in the tiny waiting room.

 

It seems like forever until Kim comes walking out, telling Embry it’s time for him to return to Lillah. He nearly trips over Sam’s feet in his haste to get down the hallway. Shaking my head I watch the corridor, looking for Ness. Finally I see her trailing behind Emily and Rachel, who are talking animatedly. When she spots me her face breaks out into a smile. Before I know it, she’s pushing past the others, running to me. My arms spread wide and I brace myself for the slight impact of her tiny body. As soon as she’s close enough, I wrap my arms around her, lifting her off of the floor. I would give anything to not be standing in a room full of people. Pushing her hair out of the way I nuzzle into her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin. Every bit of tension that remained in my body oozes out in relief.

 

I’d like to do nothing more than hold her like this until Embry reappears with the announcement that the baby has been born. Even more than that, I wish we were at a more solid point in our relationship. Or we had a title for it, other than imprintee and wolf. I’d like to kiss her, apologize for everything, tell her I love her. That I’m _in_ love with her. But that all has to wait. This is not the time nor the place for it.

 

Reluctantly I release Ness. As she slides down my body I suppress my groan. I haven’t had her this close since she was an infant. For a while now every time we’ve hugged I’ve made sure there is a little distance between our bodies. I was so afraid of making things uncomfortable between us in a physical sense, especially the last few months. But now I don’t have to worry about any of that.

 

“Let’s sit down,” Ness’ voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I glance around the room. Everyone else is getting settled in a corner of the waiting room. Taking Ness’ hand in mine I lead her over to two chairs placed a seat down from Sam and Emily. They are talking quietly with Rachel, who had asked where Claire and Eli were. As Emily explains that they are with Sue Clearwater I quietly slip into a chair. Ness sits next to me and my body automatically gravitates to the side, leaning toward her. She leans her head on my shoulder and my eyes slide shut as my head rests atop hers. I’m exhausted and I realize, she has to be too. _What time is it?_ I’ve lost all track of time with everything that happened after the bonfire. That seems forever ago.

 

-0-

 

An hour later we still haven’t heard anything. Emily and Rachel ask Ness to join them to grab coffee and snacks for all of us. Sam turns to me as soon as they are out of ear shot. “Everything ok?”

 

Taking a deep breath, I hold it for a few seconds before I look over at him. “I told her,” I exhale, running a hand over my face. A few more people have joined us in the waiting room, so there’s not a lot more I can say. He nods at me and we fall quiet again. The girls appear shortly after, each carrying coffee and bags of chips. While I watch Ness, I also notice the strangers in the room watching her. I tap down my irritation at the other people, focusing on her alone. She’s beautiful; her pale skin glowing, her dark hair a mess of curls around her shoulders, her movements graceful and enchanting.

 

Ness hands a cup of coffee to Seth and my body stiffens up a little as he thanks her. She nods and turns to come over to me, her hand outstretched with the cardboard cup holder nestled in it. I take the bags of snacks from her, place them in an empty chair then reach for the holder. I sit the whole thing on the floor next to my feet without pulling a coffee from it. Ness looks tired, as well as confused and I smile softly at her as she stands in front of me. Placing my hands on her waist I don’t take the time to rethink what I’m about to do. Her body tenses up since I’m touching her in such an intimate spot. This is new for us but it doesn’t feel as awkward as I thought it might.

 

Pulling her toward me I maneuver her so she’s sideways when her thighs bump against my knees. As I keep pulling her she realizes what I’m doing and her own knees bend. It’s been forever since I held Ness in my lap so I go slow, giving her the chance to pull away once she realizes what I’m after. After a split second of contemplation she finally sits sideways on my lap, just barely past my knees. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her a little closer, stopping just short of my groin. Definitely don’t want to go _there_. I know that anything physical between us will have to be eased into. Plus, we are in public and still have a lot to talk about. Even though I can’t wait to kiss her I want it all to happen at the right time.

 

Once she’s settled into my lap I encourage Ness to lay her head on my shoulder. “You should get some rest. You look tired and I’m sure it’ll be a while before we hear anything.”

 

Her body relaxes against mine even though she protests, “I doubt I could sleep, Jake. I’m too keyed up about Lillah. Besides, I could lay on that chair that doesn’t have arm rests.”

 

I crinkle my nose in disgust as I glance at the chair she’s talking about. It looks smaller than a loveseat, old and dirty. No way am I letting my imprint touch that with her bare skin. There’s no telling how many people have slept on it over the years. Shaking my head I refuse to release her and before I know it, she’s relaxed against me and her breathing has slowed. Ness is out cold.

 

I drop my face to the crown of her head, kissing her soft hair and letting my eyes close briefly. With her body fully relaxed in sleep her legs start to slide a little. I place a hand on the outside of her thigh, where her shorts stop. I try to ignore the fact that my fingers are touching her bare skin and just think about holding her gently on my lap.

 

Slowly, I become aware of eyes on me and I open mine as I lift my head. I catch Seth’s stoic gaze with my own. We stare at one another for a long second then Seth drops his eyes in respect. This isn’t about me being Alpha, it’s about Ness being my imprint. _Mine_. I realize then, Seth would have never done anything to hurt her, or me. Especially not by trying something with Ness. While I haven’t completely gotten over my anger toward him, I know I need to talk to Ness and get the entire story.

 

I don’t know how long I’m lost in my thoughts before Ness wakes up. She burrows against my chest, pressing her face into my neck and I kiss her temple before she sits up.

 

“Anything?” she looks at me with hope filled eyes.

 

“Not yet. Hopefully Kim will update us soon.” Just like that, as if she heard my words, Kim comes walking through the double doors at the end of the hall. We all stand up, looking at her expectantly.

 

Before she can speak, William and Caroline Hunter, Lillah’s parents, come rushing in. They both look excited but anxious; I can only imagine how fast they must have been driving to get here in time. They live in Seattle but Caroline has managed to make the trip quite often to visit since Lillah discovered she was pregnant.

 

“She’s about to arrive,” there’s a beaming smile on Kim’s face as she speaks to all of us, “Lillah’s almost ready for the final push and Embry is holding up much better than expected.” Her words are followed by a round of laughter.

 

“Oh Will,” Caroline gasps and tears jump into her eyes as she holds onto his arm. Kim offers to let them peek in to see Lillah. William declines, saying he doesn’t want to see his baby girl in pain but Caroline hurriedly follows Kim through the double doors back to Lillah’s room.

 

Caroline doesn’t stay in the back long but when she comes back out she’s brushing tears away. Her assessment is similar to Kim’s; it should be any minute now. We all breathe a sigh of relief as Emily comments that Lillah has been in labor almost as long as she was. She and Lillah’s mother fall into a conversation about giving birth. I quickly tune it out.

 

Emily’s words do manage to break me out of my cloudy mind. Checking my phone, which Seth gave back to me while we waited for Ness to change earlier, I’m shocked to see hours have gone by without me even realizing. The sun should be rising soon. Ness turns to look at me and we smile at one another. Her face is lit up, her brown eyes shining in excitement as she glances down at the time on my phone. "I must have been asleep longer than I thought," she says abruptly, speaking my thoughts for me.

 

I reach up and twist a curl of her hair around my finger, twining the silk gently around and around. When I speak my voice is a whisper, mindful of our two newest arrivals. "You look a little more rested. I really wish you would go hunting, Nessie." She sighs my name and I'm not sure if it's because I'm bringing up her need to hunt or because I called her "Nessie".

 

It's been a long time since I've called her that. When she was around the physical age of ten she asked me not to call her Nessie because it sounded childish, so I stopped. That’s just what you do when you have an imprint. They ask you to do something and you nearly break your neck to make sure you do it right that second. To say that she has me wrapped around her finger would be an understatement, but I wouldn't change that for a second.

 

I nearly apologize to her but change my mind. _If she's annoyed that I'm pushing her to go hunting, then she'll just have to get over it._ I smirk to myself. All I want is for her to be healthy and she needs to hunt. Normally she loves our hunting excursions but we've both been busy lately and haven't had time. "The next free second we have, we're going. Actually, I don't have to work at the shop tomorrow, or later today I guess is more accurate, so we'll go then." I nod my head, leaving no room for argument. Ness watches me closely for a second and then her eyes flutter down and back up to meet mine.

 

"Ok, Jake, we'll go later, I promise."

 

"Thank you," I whisper when she agrees with me. Pulling her toward me I kiss her forehead without even thinking. When I pull away I catch Sam watching me, a smirk on his face. I roll my eyes at him before turning back to devote my attention to Ness. I'm surprised when she doesn't move from my lap but keeps sitting there as we talk quietly. I do my best to keep her mind busy and distracted while we wait for more news. After a few minutes we join in on the conversations around us.

 

Sam, Jared, Paul and I discuss a new work schedule for the shop as well as a vintage car William is interested in buying to restore. Ness, Emily, Caroline and Rachel chatter about Lillah and the baby. The nervous energy can be felt around us as we all fidget in our seats. Sam stands to start walking back and forth in front of us. Rachel comes over to sit next to Ness and I.

 

"What's up sis?" I ask her. She looks pretty smug and I can tell she has something to say.

 

"I have some news. The girls already know, but I've been anticipating telling you too."

 

"Oh?" the tone of her voice has me interested and I notice that the others have stopped talking and are watching closely.

 

"Paul and I," she begins, reaching her hand out to Paul, and he grasps it, "we're having twins."

 

"Twins?" I ask, confused for a second. As the word finally sinks in my head jerks back as I look at my sister. She has a big grin spread across her face. My smile matches hers as I glance at Paul, “Seriously? Twins?”

 

"Yeah dude, possibly two Rachel's, can you imagine?" Paul teases lightly.

 

"Hey man, I grew up with her and Rebecca. They were double trouble," I say playfully as Rachel swats a hand at me. "Twins. Wow. Congrats you two, really. I'm happy for you." I reach over and hug Rachel while holding a hand out to Paul, shaking his in mine. After I pull away from both of them I wrap my arm around Ness' waist and pull her closer to me so that her hip hits my stomach. Her thin arm goes around my waist and I look down at her face to see her smiling happily at me.

 

"I'm going to be an uncle, Ness." I grin at her, vaguely hearing the others, including the Hunters, congratulating Paul and Rachel.

 

"And Ness is going to be an aunt!" Rachel tells me enthusiastically. "She’s part of our family, Jake."

 

"She _is_ part of our family," I say while looking into Ness' eyes, "she's my girl." Ness' face lights up and her eyes shine. She glances down and blinks a few times then looks back up at me, placing her hand on the side of my face. As her thumb moves along my cheek Ness shows me a flash of myself from a few seconds ago. Seeing the way I look at her through her eyes is like a kick in the gut. It would be obvious to anyone by the way I was looking at her that she is everything to me. I know in my heart she was able to see that, even if she hasn't been able to before now. There were times before that I held back a lot of emotions because I knew they would be plain to see on my face. Now that she knows she's my imprint, I’m free to be more honest.

 

Before anyone else can say anything, Embry comes bursting out of the labor and delivery area. He is wearing a look I've never seen on his face before. It's a tie between excitement and fear. At first my body goes on alert, thinking something has gone wrong but then I realize he's grinning like a fool and his eyes are swimming with tears.

 

"She's here. Our Halona is here and she's beautiful and _perfect_ ," he breathes.

 

Ness jumps from my lap and the rest of us stand to surround Embry, a tumble of questions falling from all of our mouths.

 

"How's Lillah?"

 

"When can we see the baby?"

 

"How much does she weigh?"

 

"Who does she look like?"

 

Embry's hands shoot up in the air, telling us to stop our line of questioning. "Lillah is- amazing. They are cleaning up and weighing Hallie now. She has a head full of dark auburn hair. I'm going back but I wanted you guys to know I'm a lucky man. My wife is fine and our baby girl is here and healthy."

 

We all give rounds of quick hugs and the girls send messages of love to Lillah through their own tears. Ness glances over her shoulder at me, looking so thrilled for her friend. I reach out for her, putting my arms around her waist. Wrapping myself around her, I squeeze her gently as she giggles and bounces against me, her back pressed against my chest. Dropping a kiss on her shoulder it hits me that I've touched her more tonight than I ever have. It feels amazing, being able to openly hug her or take her hand in mine when I want to. Before, I was so worried that other people would judge or it would make it obvious to Ness that something was up. The last thing I ever wanted to do was confuse or hurt her when I couldn't tell her she was my imprint. I couldn't be more thankful that almost everything is out in the open.

 

-0-

 

When Halona is finally cleaned up, Embry leads us to the nursery to point her out while William and Caroline are led back to see Lillah. As Emily, Rachel, and Ness discuss features and decide who she looks like more, all I see is a squished up alien with auburn hair on top. A cute alien, but still, an alien. I remember Eli looking like this too, so I’m assuming it’s just a newborn thing.

 

Once the fawning is over, I see Ness yawning. Leaning down, I whisper to her, “Come on, let me take you home.” She doesn’t argue, which is surprising. I keep an arm around her, my hand on her hip as we tell the others goodbye. Ness hugs the girls while the guys and I fist bump and throw insults.

 

Seth is standing back, watching everyone when I remember that he rode to the hospital with Ness and I. Scratching the back of my neck I look at the others, “Someone think they can get this idiot home?” My words are followed by a half smile in Seth’s direction, letting him know we’re-- mostly-- cool.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Jacob. We’ll take care of him,” Emily speaks up as she hugs Ness and gives me a look over her shoulder. She’s grinning at me and I can’t help but wonder if she realizes I’m not planning on _going_ home.

 

“Thanks, Em,” I wink at her playfully as she and Ness break apart. As Emily steps back over to Sam, Ness moves toward me, reaching out to touch the back of my hand with her fingers. I flip my hand over, placing my palm against hers and her fingers automatically slip through my own. Tugging Ness gently I guide her toward the hallway that will take us through the lobby area. When we pass Jared he slaps me on the shoulder and we say goodbye.

 

Ness is practically asleep on her feet when I open the passenger door and help her inside. Quickly moving around the car I climb behind the wheel and crank the motor. It purrs quietly as I back out of the space and we leave the parking lot as the sun officially makes it’s appearance for the day.

 

“Halona is beautiful,” Ness’ sleepy voice says quietly.

 

I nod in agreement, knowing Ness is nearly out again. It's been a stressful night for her, with the arguing and the emotions and then the excitement over Lillah and the baby. "She's awfully tiny," I mutter as pictures of her flash in my mind. I remember when Eli was that small; I was afraid I might break him when Emily offered him to me to hold.

 

Ness laughs and turns toward me, leaning her back against the door so she can look at me. "She'll grow fast."

 

"Mmm, not as fast as you though. I liked that I didn't have to worry as much when you were a baby. Fewer concerns I'd hurt you." I laugh.

 

Ness takes my hand in hers and I side eye her when our hands rest in her lap. She has her legs pulled into the seat, crossed over one another in an uncomfortable looking yoga pose. My thumb rests against her calf and I move it back and forth across her skin. She doesn't speak for a while so I glance over to check on her. Ness' head is resting on the back of the seat, her eyes shut in a deep sleep. It's always surprised me how quickly she can be out like a light.

 

As I drive us back to the cottage I keep stealing glances at her. When I notice Ness has dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks have lost their normal rosy hue I frown. I feel like a jackass for not noticing she was under pressure and stress before now. Had she felt comfortable enough to tell me about school, instead of keeping it a secret, she would not have been having trouble sleeping. That is all my fault. Obviously I need to work harder at making her feel like she can tell me anything. I've failed my imprint in that department.

 

The car eases up the long driveway and I see Edward standing in the garage, waiting for us. I'm unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes at the hard expression on his face. There's no doubt that Edward loves his daughter, and I respect that, but he can't keep me from her now. Neither Ness nor myself will allow that to happen.

 

I pull into the space reserved for Bella's car and release Ness' hand from my own. She stirs only slightly as I open my door and step out. Edward is looking at me with a raised brow and when he nods his head at the dent I realize he wants to know what happened.

 

"I'll fix it, Edward, don't worry." I tell him wearily. I'm so not in the mood to argue with him. The last thing I want is for our voices to wake Ness in the passengers seat.

 

"How exactly did you dent my wife's car?"

 

"Seth and I had a little-- talk in the parking lot of the hospital."

 

"Were you two fighting about Renesmee?"

 

I run a hand across the back of my neck before looking at Edward. "Something like that."

 

"Did you really think she and Seth were--" he trails off, obviously having been dipping in my head. _I hate when he does that shit._ A smile appears on Edward’s face and I push past him, moving to the other side of the car to lift Ness out.

 

Edward continues speaking just as I put one arm around her back and the other under her legs, "I'd appreciate it if you just carried her in and left."

 

My entire body coils up and I know this could turn into an argument quickly. I try to remain calm as I speak softly. “I can’t leave her, not now that she finally knows. She can decide moving forward, but right now, I just need to hold her.”

 

Edward's face looks furious and his hands tighten into fists. I know I'm bordering on being disrespectful. She is his daughter and this is his house, after all. It's just that right now, I couldn't give a shit what he wants. I've spent every year of her life playing by his rules. Letting him dictate every little thing I can do or say around her. The part of me that has grown tired of being pushed away has had enough. _I will not let her go._

 

"I know you think I don't respect the imprint but that's not true, Jacob. And there is no reason to act like I've been trying to keep you away from her."

 

“You were going to take her away from me, without question. You owe us both a peaceful nights sleep, at the minimum.”

 

Shaking my head at him I move toward the cottage, not waiting for any further response from Edward. Our disagreement on this will not end anytime soon, I know. We are both protective of her and neither of us is willing to back down. I know Edward is aware of my refusal to give in to him just as I'm aware of his. He just doesn't quite realize how far we'll go for our imprints. I'll happily show him.

 

Bella doesn't seem at all surprised when I carry Ness into the cottage and head straight for her room. Just to be an asshole, I shut the door behind me. Wanting to piss Edward off, after I place Ness in the bed, I pull off my shirt and remove my jeans. I don't want to freak her out so I pull on my shorts from earlier. I intend on lying on top of the covers but I know I’d be hot in my clothes. Before I can lay down, I search for my pillow that is normally at the top of the bed. At first I begin to think it's gone, but then I finally find it under the blankets. Too tired to try to figure out why, I climb onto the bed and pull Ness as close to me as possible and fall asleep soundly.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Jake likes to hear what you think, so make sure you click that little review button.


	7. Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Another chapter and still not SM. Go ahead, be stunned.
> 
> A/N: Welcome back! We fully expect there to be a lot of squealing in excitement over the end of this chapter, but don’t jump ahead, lots of good stuff before we get there. Enjoy!

** Chapter 7 “Kiss Me” **

 

_Are you gonna kiss me or not?_

_Are we gonna do this or what?_

_I think you know I like you a lot_

_But you're 'bout to miss your shot_

_Are you gonna kiss me or not?_

“Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not” - Thompson Square

 

** NPOV **

 

-0-

 

I feel like I’m on fire. The sun is hitting my face directly and while it’s blinding, that isn’t the source of the heat. As I attempt to kick the covers off of me, I’m hit with the fact that I can’t move. Opening my eyes, I realize why I’m having both of these issues.

 

Jacob is in my bed, his body thrown over mine. While there is a comforter and sheets between us, his heat seeps through, warming every inch of me that he is touching. He is literally on top of me, one of my thighs nestled between his legs. His heavy arm is draped over my torso and tucked up against my side, locking me to him. My head is tucked up under his chin, against his neck. With his body mass and height and my small frame I am completely enveloped in him.

 

I take a deep breath as the reality of the past day sinks in. _Jacob is in my bed. He’s in my bed because he imprinted on me when I was born. I’m Jacob’s imprintee._ When I woke up yesterday and realized Jacob had stayed the night, it never even crossed my mind that the reason why he stayed was because I’m his and he’s mine. _Mine_. Even now, with Jacob holding me tight, it’s hard for me to believe that this is real. All this time dreaming about him somehow magically realizing he loves me did not prepare me for this.

 

While his breathing is still deep and even; I try not to move. My nose being buried against his neck means I can inhale his wild scent easily. I’d be so embarrassed if he knew I was doing such a thing, but right this second, I don’t care. Taking the opportunity while I can; I begin to become aware of every inch where his body is pressed to mine. Having him here in my bed feels right and natural. One thing I know about imprinting is it’s a very loving and physical relationship. The guys are always holding or touching their imprints, almost like they never want to let them go.

 

Considering that Jacob and I have never had anything other than friendship, I’m surprised at the ease I feel with him being so close. Even last night after he told me, it was like a switch had been flipped; as soon as he found me in the woods, he was touching me. I can’t remember a moment last night that Jacob wasn’t somehow connected to me; his hand holding mine as we ran, him brushing my cheek as we drove. My favorite part of the night was when he pulled me into his lap while we waited for news of the baby. Falling asleep in his arms was easy, and even though it was a short nap, it was some of the best sleep I’ve had in weeks.

 

With Jacob’s weight pressing me down into the mattress I realize I can feel everything, even through the layers of fabric between us. I find myself wondering what it will be like to kiss him properly, to have him wrap me in a hug with our bodies touching from head to toe, to have him desire me. The idea that Jacob could want me seemed so impossible just twenty-four hours ago, but with him here in my bed, my mind wanders, considering all the possibilities now open to Jacob and I.

 

“Why’d you have my pillow under the comforter?” Jacob grumbles groggily, startling me out of my thoughts.

 

 _His pillow._ The pillow that I stashed under my comforter yesterday morning so that his scent would linger. _Guess that’s not needed now._ I nearly choke as I gasp and laugh at the same time.

 

Jacob moves quickly, leaning over me so we are nearly chest to chest, his hands on either side of my face, his nose almost touching mine as his eyes dart over my face, “Are you ok?”

 

My breath catches as I notice how close he is to me now; his hands supporting his body as he hovers mere inches above me. His heat covering my body is gone, but a different heat is warming me now. It starts in my stomach and seems to radiate from there. I bite my lip as I feel my breathing accelerate again. My eyes glance down at his lips just as I hear a deep rumble come from his chest. The sound sends a ripple through me.

 

Just as quickly as he appeared over me, Jacob moves away, sitting up straight beside me. It’s only then that I notice he’s just wearing shorts, the shirt and jeans from last night gone. As my eyes roam over the tanned skin of his back, the heat coming from my stomach kicks up a notch. Without thinking, I sit up, my hand reaching out for him. It’s like I’m watching from a distance as someone else reaches out to touch what I desperately want. I’m almost panting I’m breathing so hard, but I press on. My finger makes contact with the skin over his shoulder blade and I see him jump. His head swings around, but he doesn’t say anything as he looks at me. I can’t look him in the eyes, but I feel him watching me closely.

 

My finger moves slowly from his shoulder blade, up to his shoulder, then down his arm along the veins that stick out. His muscles constricting under my finger surprise and fascinate me. I want to explore more, but I know my parents are close. No way Dad would allow Jacob to stay here if he wasn’t nearby to make sure nothing happened.

 

Once I reach Jacob’s hand, I thread my fingers in his then lean my head against his arm. It feels amazing, being able to touch him this way. Using my free hand, I reach for his cheek, pressing my response to his question into his mind, “I’m fine, just-- surprised.”

 

“I’m sorry, I should have asked if you wanted me to stay,” Jacob sighs, leaning his head down to mine. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

 

“You probably should have asked, but my answer would have been yes.” I’m almost relieved I can use my gift, it makes saying some of these things easier. I hesitate for just a moment before asking through my hand on his cheek, “How did you manage to get past my dad?”

 

I can hear the deep exhale as well as feel his body cave in a little, “I used his guilt. After breaking his promise he owed both you and I. The very least he could give was letting us sleep in peace for one night.”

 

The growl from the living room is clear to both of us. I sit up straight, turning to Jacob. He doesn’t look as worried as I am, but I can tell he’s tense. His hand cups my cheek and he smiles softly, “Go talk to them. I need to patrol and check-in anyway, but you still owe me a hunt.”

 

“I’d rather have you with me when I talk to them,” even though I’m pressing the words into his mind, they are still a whisper. I don’t know what to say to my parents. I’m angry that they kept this from me, but even more upset that they hurt Jacob so much by making him keep this secret for so long.

 

Throughout all the years of our friendship I’ve felt protective of him. It always seemed silly that I would feel that way, him being able to take down a vampire, but it was still true. Now that I understand why I felt that way, I can’t suppress it any longer. The need to take care of my wolf, my Jacob, is all consuming. To the point where if it came down to it, I would confront my father for the harm he caused Jacob.

 

His thumb slides over my cheek as his palm moves down to my chin until he’s cupping my face. I’m hopeful he’s finally going to kiss me, but instead his lips move to my forehead. As disappointed as I am, the pressure of his lips on my skin still sends a wave of heat from that point, all the way to my toes. When Jacob leans back, his eyes don’t stray from mine, “I’ll make it worse right now. I’m still too angry with your father. There’s really no way of knowing what I might say, or do, to him.”

 

All I can do is nod. I understand why he’s still upset. I am too, but I’m angry on his behalf. My hurt over them keeping secrets from me is overshadowed by the pain I see on Jacob’s face. He  sighs softly as his eyes dart between mine, “Don’t harm your relationship with them for me. We can’t change the past. He did it because he loves you.”

 

“He hurt you.” I don’t bother using my gift this time, barely whispering the truth.

 

“With you in my arms, right now, I’m not feeling too hurt.” My cheeks heat up with a blush at his words, but I can’t disagree with him. He flashes a grin at me then sighs, “I just don’t want you to ruin your relationship with your parents on my behalf. Promise?”

 

Reluctantly, I agree. The need to defend and protect him is still strong within me but I know Jacob has my best interest at heart. He wouldn’t ask this of me if he didn’t think it was important.

 

My thumb slowly moves over his cheek, enjoying the rough feeling of his stubble. An unbidden flash of him running his jaw along my naked skin jolts through me. I’m almost unable to concentrate on what I’m going to say to him. Finally I manage to focus enough to speak quietly, “But I’ll see you later. Promise?” There aren’t any doubts in my mind that he understands how hard it will be for me to be away from him.

 

Jacob’s eyes dart down to my lips and my heart jumps. When my tongue brushes over my lips nervously, he leans closer, his nose pressed against mine. Just when I think he’s going to give in, he leans back, growling out, “Later. I _promise_.” It would be a lie if I told myself I wasn’t disappointed. Logically, I know it shouldn’t happen here like this, with my parents near, but I’m once again having a hard time being logical. I’ve wanted to feel his lips against mine for so long and a few more hours seems like an eternity.

 

Taking a deep breath, I take a chance. Yesterday I would never have considered asking this question of Jacob, but now that I’m his imprintee, I have a little more courage. I press the image of him being so close, his nose caressing mine and him pulling away into his mind. He groans and I can feel him moving away from me before I can even get the question out. He’s off the bed and at the door. He jerks on his jeans but it isn’t until he’s pulling his shirt over his head that I hear him reply, “Later, Ness. I promise you.”

 

Once he leaves the room, I slump back against the mattress. Today I don’t have to search for the spot on my bed where he slept because my entire bed smells like him. _I_ smell like him. Lifting the edge of my hoodie up to my nose, I can’t help giggling when I smell him there. It makes sense, this is what I was wearing when we left for the hospital. Even before he slept next to me again, Jacob held me close most of the night.

 

Taking a deep breath, I force myself out of the bed. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can see Jacob again. I’m not worried about my mom, but I know Dad is not happy. I would brave a field of angry vampires though, if it meant seeing Jacob again. I’ve been living in such a state of fear that I was going to lose him; now that I know I won’t, I need him more desperately than ever.

 

Needing to have as clear a mind as possible, I decide to shower first. After going through my normal morning routine, I head for the living room. I’m a little surprised when I only see Mom on the couch. As I round the end, I see she has a cup of coffee waiting for me. I sip the warm liquid before pressing my hand against her cheek, “Where’s Dad?”

 

“I sent him up to the main house to cool off.” She smiles at me and I feel some of the tension ease out of me. “First, how are Lillah and the baby?”

 

“They’re great. Halona is adorable and Lillah,” I shake my head remembering the time in her room, “she’s strong. Stronger than I would have thought.”

 

“A mother will do anything for her baby.” Mom’s hand pushes my hair back over my ear.

 

Recalling the argument from last night, I ask one of the questions that has been bugging me, “You said you never agreed to the deal. Why didn’t you put an end to it before last night?”

 

“Because as much as I didn’t agree with it, I wanted to keep you as my little girl as long as I could,” Mom sighs. “I told you, a mother will do anything for her baby.”

 

“Mom,” I can feel tears stinging, and while I can understand, it still doesn’t make sense. “I’ll always be your little girl.”

 

She nods but I can see she’s saddened, “I know, but it’s different now.”

 

I want to argue with her, but the truth is, I can’t. It is different now. As much as I cherish my time with Mom, I can _feel_ Jacob’s absence. A part of me is missing and I know I won’t feel whole again until he’s beside me. I had always just attributed the feeling to being best friends with Jacob. He was always around, so when he wasn’t I missed him. However, I can’t ignore the feeling now that I know what it means.

 

“You miss him already, don’t you?” Mom asks, softly.

 

I share the empty pit feeling with her and Mom gives me an understanding smile. “That’s how I feel about your father. It gets easier to manage as time goes by, but it never goes away.”

 

Since it’s just Mom and I here, I decide to ask a sensitive question. I’m a little scared of her response, but I need to know. My words are slow, even as they are placed in her mind, “Did you ever feel that way about Jacob?”

 

Mom’s reaction is immediate and odd. She starts laughing. Shaking her head she pulls herself together, “No baby, I never felt that way about him. I love Jacob, but as a best friend. My feelings for Jacob never compared to my feelings for your father. Love, not _in_ love.” She pauses for a moment then looks me deep in the eye, “I think a good comparison for you would be how you feel about Jacob versus how you feel about Seth.”

 

My eyes go wide at her statement, “How did you know?”

 

“I don’t need to read minds, I know how a teenage girl thinks,” she winks at me. The giggle that escapes my mouth is cathartic, cleansing me of any remaining unease.

 

Mom pats my hand against her cheek, “You don’t have to tell me all the details, but you should explain to Jacob. Even if you didn’t know you were his imprint at the time, he still deserves to know.”

 

“He’s really angry at Seth,” I whisper out, showing her how mad he got in the car last night on the way to the hospital.

 

When I’m done showing her the memory, she gives me a knowing look, “He’s upset because he’s in the dark. Seth knew about you leaving and I’m guessing Seth, being a good friend, hasn’t told Jacob about whatever happened between you two the other night.”

 

I don’t respond, instead considering her words. As excited as I am about being Jacob’s imprintee, this is all so new to me. For so long, my relationship with him has been about holding back, keeping secrets. To now adjust to telling him everything-- it’s a little nerve-wracking to consider. I know I need to be honest with him, but it’s really scary to consider telling him about one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

 

I must have shared some of my worry with Mom because she leans forward into my field of vision to grab my attention. When my eyes focus on her, she speaks softly, “I know it’s scary, Renesmee, but you have to be honest with Jacob. You are in a relationship now. Part of that means being completely honest with one another, even if it means temporary embarrassment. Believe me, Jacob wants, and deserves, to know the truth.”

 

My head moves up and down in agreement with her as I face reality. I can’t keep this from him, he deserves to know I asked Seth to kiss me. At the very least, as Seth’s friend, I should be honest with Jacob and tell him what happened so he can stop being so mad at Seth. So he can be mad at the right person. _Me._

 

Leaning back against the couch, I sigh. As much as I don’t want to tell Jacob about what happened with Seth, a more pressing conversation awaits me. I’m dreading talking to my father. Mom leans back with me and smiles, “He’s not mad at you.” She pauses, biting her lip before turning back to me. “He is going to want you to still go to college in a few weeks.”

 

I open my mouth but she interrupts me, “I’ll support you either way. You don’t have decide right now, but you should know it’s something that’s very important to him.”

 

Mom pats my knee and stands up, “Finish your coffee and come up to the main house when you are ready. We’ll be waiting, and I’ll keep him calm.”

 

She slips out of the cottage quietly and I’m left alone with my coffee and thoughts.

 

-0-

 

A short time later I pull together enough courage to leave the cottage. As I approach the main house, I’m hit with the familiar sound of Carl Orff’s “O Fortuna”. The music is so loud that I don’t hear my phone beep, but I do feel it shaking. Pausing, I pull my phone out and almost snort at the text on my screen.

 

_He’s such a drama queen. ~J_

 

I want to admonish him, tell him that isn’t why my father is playing that song, but honestly, I agree with him. I’m just hopeful Mom can keep him settled so we can discuss this like adults. After he kept this secret from me for so long, I at least deserve that much from him.

 

_Are you close? ~N_

 

I glance around as I lower my phone, hoping he’ll appear, give me strength before I walk in. I’m almost disappointed when I feel my phone buzz in my hand.

 

_Close enough I can see how beautiful you look. I like those jeans. They’re my favorite. ~J_

 

My face heats up and I glance around again, this time checking to make sure no one can see me. Jacob has never commented on my clothes. I always just assumed he didn’t notice the things I wore, sometimes specifically for him. I’m beginning to think he noticed way more than I thought. I awkwardly type out a quick response.

 

_Thx. Will I see you when I’m done? ~N_

 

His message hits my phone just as I’m approaching the back door to the main house.

 

_I’ll be waiting for you. Let me know if you need me to step in before then. ~J_

 

Turning around, I try to hear where he is, but I can’t pinpoint him. Closing my eyes, I nod once, hoping he understands, then walk into the house.

 

The music on the sound system stops as soon as I step out of the kitchen into the living room. Mom and Dad are sitting on the couch, waiting for me. Neither says anything as I cross the room. Wanting to be strong for Jacob, I strategically sit in one of the chairs directly across from Dad. I will not use my gift this time; I want Dad to know how serious I am, so I will speak directly to him.

 

Dad’s face is hard, his lips barely moving as he speaks. “Just because he imprinted, does not mean you _have_ to be with him. You have a choice.”

 

Taking a deep breath, I try to stay as calm as possible. “I know I have a choice, but Dad, I _want_ to be with him.”

 

“At the expense of living your own life? Going to college? Traveling the world?”

 

My eyes dart to Mom, questioning. Dad’s words sound so much like what I was thinking last night as I was running. I see her close her eyes for the briefest of seconds, then she looks back at me and nods.

 

“Your mother’s shield is still up, but I’m guessing you have these same doubts.” It isn’t a question. Dad could have easily followed our silent conversation and caught on to why I was asking.

 

“I don’t disagree that there are still a lot of things for Jacob and I to discuss.” Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. When I open my eyes I focus solely on Dad, “However, those are things for _Jacob_ and I to discuss.”

 

“I disagree. You are still a child, it is for all of us to discuss. I think that you should still go to college. Time apart won’t hurt you. We can come back on the weekends so you can visit Jacob.” Dad gives me a smile, like he’s presenting me with a great option that I should jump on immediately.

 

Unfortunately for him, I don’t. “Dad, I’m not an infant. I’ll discuss college with you and Mom, but staying away from Jacob five days a week is not on the table. Time apart will hurt, both of us. We can’t be apart.”

 

“Would you want him to join you in Seattle?” Mom asks. She glances at Dad and he looks utterly horrified. I do my best not to snicker at his reaction. Mom pats his arm, “He could stay with us, or I’m sure Esme could find him a lovely place there.”

 

Dad relaxes slightly, but I can see he’s still upset at the idea of Jacob being in Seattle when I’m going to school.

 

Sighing, I turn to speak to Mom, being honest with her, “We haven’t talked about that yet. I don’t know if he could leave the tribe for part of the week. He’s still the Chief.” This time, the nickname isn’t funny, it’s reality. Jacob has responsibilities in La Push. I am proud of what he does there and would never ask him to give that role up, but it means our lives are tied to being here.

 

“The point is,” Dad’s voice is sharp, like he’s getting irritated, “being with Jacob is not just as simple as accepting his imprint.”

 

Shaking my head, I compose my thoughts, wanting to be clear when I speak. “No Dad, the point is, I am accepting Jacob’s imprint. That simple. He and I will figure out the details later.”

 

“You are rushing into this, Renesmee.” Dad’s is using his teacher voice now, the one where he’s not my father, but my instructor.

 

“Like you rushed into being with Mom? Or you rushed out of Mom’s life? Or you rushed to marry Mom when you returned? Or like you rushed into forcing Jacob to hide the fact that he imprinted on me-- from me?” Despite my promise to myself to keep calm, the words come tumbling out of my mouth without thought.

 

Dad’s jaw is tight and I know I’ve pushed the limits by mentioning his relationship with Mom, especially when he left her. I hold my breath, considering my options before I speak again.

 

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

 

He nods, but doesn’t say anything more. Taking his silence as a chance to continue, I consider my words more carefully this time. “I’m essentially the same age Mom was when you met her.” Dad lowers his head in hesitant agreement and I press on. “I asked Jacob last night, and we don’t have to get married just because he imprinted. However, I want to be with him.”

 

“You can be together while you still go to college.” Dad is calm again, but I know he is still pushing his own agenda. If I’ve learned one thing during my life, it’s that my father will do or say anything to make sure he gets what he wants.

 

Taking a deep breath, I glance at Mom. She gives me a reassuring smile. Drawing on her strength, I turn back to my father. “Jacob and I will discuss our next steps. Whether you like it or not, Dad, we are together. Jacob is my life. What I want to know is, why would you, of all people, deny Jacob the chance to be with me, the person he’s meant to be with? Why would you force him to keep this big secret from me?”

 

“I did it for you, Renesmee. I wanted you to have the chance to make the decision yourself whether you would accept his imprint or not.” Dad shakes his head just slightly, then looks me in the eye, “I wanted you to be old enough to make the decision rationally. I’m still not sure you’re there yet.”

 

“I’m old enough to go off to college by myself but not old enough to decide whether or not I want to be with my best friend?” Repeating his words back to him they sound even more ridiculous to me. I can see his fists clenching but I keep speaking. “I _am_ making the decision rationally. I know there is a lot involved, but it is my decision and I’m making it _now_. I can’t be away from Jacob, that is the reality. There’s no way for me to explain how hard it is to be apart from him, even now. I didn’t know why I felt that way before, but it makes sense now.”

 

I hesitate briefly, but when I see Dad start to open his mouth, I keep going. “I want to be with him. I’d hoped you would back me on that.”

 

“I don’t like this. At all, Renesmee. I think you two need some space. Some time to get to know one another better.” His face is calm, but I know he is grasping at straws.

 

“That’s ridiculous, Dad, and you know it. I know Jacob. I know him better than anyone other than you two. I’ve spent hours with him every day of my life. I’ve had time to get to know the man he is. We’ve built an amazing friendship. I didn’t just magically love him when he told me he imprinted.”

 

Mom’s voice is so soft, her words so out of the blue that I jump in surprise. I’d nearly forgotten she was still in the room. “You love him?”

 

Inhaling sharply I glance over and meet her eyes. She looks-- happy. There’s a soft smile on her face and she’s watching me closely. I don’t want to answer her question, not because I can’t but because I don’t want the first person to find out I’m in love with Jacob to be my mother. He deserves to be the first one to hear it from my lips. That is, if I can manage to work up the courage to tell him.

 

Dad hissing jerks me back to reality and I look at him in annoyance. _What is he? A cat?_ It’s obvious to me that he’s beginning to lose his temper. As much as I love him there is no way I’m going to back down. This time, he is not going to get his way. I know what I want and he won’t stop me.

 

“Just like your mother,” he mutters and I look over at her. Mom looks slightly guilty and I know that she’s dropped her shield for at least a second.

 

“Dad, what would you do, if someone told you you couldn’t be with Mom? What if Grandpa Charlie had tried to make her not marry you?”

 

Dad frowns, glancing at Mom then back at me, “I’m not saying you can’t be with Jacob. I just don’t want you to rush into this. You both have an eternity to be together, four years at college is nothing.”

 

My heart clenches at the idea of spending one day away from Jacob, four years would be unimaginable. I would like to show Dad how I feel right now, how empty I’ve felt since the moment Jacob walked out of my bedroom. I almost stand up, but my determination to stay strong for Jacob keeps me seated. Instead, I do my best to verbalize how I feel.

 

“Dad, a day without Jacob _is_ an eternity to me. When I’m not with him nothing feels right. It has always been that way for me, I just didn’t know why until now. I know you meant well, you wanted to give me an opportunity to be normal. I appreciate that, Dad, I do, but in that process, you robbed me of precious time with Jacob.”

 

Dad’s face hardens. All humanity is gone from him; he isn’t blinking or breathing. Mom’s hand squeezes his, but he doesn’t look at her. I can feel tears building up, but I fight them back.

 

“Your father just wants the best for you, Renesmee.” Mom’s voice is soft, and I know she’s trying to ease the tension in the room.

 

However, her attempt falls flat when Dad speaks again. “So you’re choosing Jacob over your family?”

 

“Edward.” Mom sighs. “She did not say that.”

 

Taking a deep breath I consider my options. I can argue with him, fight over what he did and how he hurt Jacob and I with his actions. Dad is a master at twisting words, and I know I won’t win that argument. Plus, I did promise Jacob I wouldn’t harm my relationship with my parents on his behalf. I could walk out, run to Jacob, but that won’t solve anything and will just make him even more angry. My last option is my least favorite, but I know it is effective: turn his own mistakes against him.

 

“Dad, I love you and Mom, but please don’t make me choose between my family and Jake. You know how that will end. Would you have wanted Mom to choose you over her family? How many times did you push Mom away to prevent her from making the decision she ultimately made? You couldn’t stop her and you won’t stop me. Mom loves you and wanted to be with you more than anything else in the world. That is how I feel about Jacob.”

 

The tears are fighting to get out. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, pushing out the hardest words I’ve ever had to say, “I don’t want to have to choose; I want my family in my life, but I need Jacob. Just like you were Mom’s choice, if you force me, Jacob will always be my choice.“

 

My hands have a death grip on the arm of the chair. I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to see my parents reactions. The silence in the room is overwhelming; it feels like a heavy weight pushing against my chest.

 

“Open your eyes, Renesmee.” Dad’s voice is gruff, which scares me.

 

I turn my head, so that when I open my eyes, I can see Mom first. I’m surprised to see a tentative smile on her face when I finally meet her eyes. She gives me a small nod and I twist my head just slightly to look at Dad. He’s still upset, but there is a resigned look on his face.

 

“I don’t like it, but I won’t make you choose between us.” I nod, but don’t smile yet; I know he isn’t done speaking and I feel a “but” coming. “I do understand the need to be with someone. I’m not heartless, but you are still so young. While I get that you want to be with Jacob, I do think some rules need to be put in place.”

 

I’m shaking my head before he even finishes, “No Dad. You’ve restricted my relationship with Jacob my whole life. No more.”

 

“I’m not asking much, Renesmee. You can be with him all day. I would still encourage you to consider college, but if that isn’t what you want, fine. However, I allowed it last night, but I do not think Jacob needs to be sleeping in your bed. Nor you in his.”

 

This sparks my temper, “You cannot be serious.” I’m trying to stay composed, to consider my words carefully, but the idea of him telling me when I can and can’t see Jacob infuriates me.

 

“I’m very serious.” Dad’s face reflects this statement. “I don’t think either of you needs the... temptation of being so close.”

 

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him what he can do with his request when Mom jumps in, “Edward, I think you should reconsider that request.”

 

This upsets Dad; a lot. His head jerks around to Mom, “Bella. Do you really want him in our daughter’s bed every night?”

 

Mom places her hands against Dad’s face and closes her eyes. Having seen her do this most of my life, I know she’s pushing her shield back, letting Dad see her thoughts. When Dad’s eyes go wide, I’m hopeful she might be able to convince him to let go of this request.

 

“That was different, Bella. My every thought wasn’t centered around--.” Dad stops himself, glancing over his shoulder at me then back to Mom, “My intentions were very different from Jacob’s.”

 

“Perhaps, but just because you know what he is thinking does not mean you know his true intentions. I believe Jacob only has Renesmee’s best interest at heart.” Mom pauses, lifting her hand toward me, “Look at her, she hasn’t looked this rested in months. We’ve both heard her waking up from dreams in the middle of the night. That didn’t happen last night. She slept soundly.”

 

I want to point out that I’m still in the room, but I don’t want to interrupt Mom. Biting my lip, I wait anxiously for Dad’s response.

 

He shakes his head once, narrowing his eyes at Mom, “I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

 

“I really don’t think we have a choice, Edward. She has accepted his imprint. If we try to keep them apart, we will end up losing her.” The sadness on Mom’s face makes me want to cry for her.

 

Dad frowns, but when I see him grasp Mom’s hands, I know she has managed to convince him. If there is one thing my father cannot do, it’s hurt my mother. He lowers his eyes to their hands before giving her a slight nod. Mom doesn’t smile, but leans her head against Dad’s shoulder.

 

He turns back to me, “Fine. I don’t want you staying at his place, but Jacob can _occasionally_ stay the night at the cottage. I do not want this to be an every night thing. When he stays, it is _just_ to sleep though, and only when we are here. I expect both of you to be fully clothed and covers between you two. And I will be listening.”

 

For now, I know this is the best I’m going to get out of my father. Because really, as if Jacob and I would do _anything_ with my vampire father in the next room. I’m hopeful he will relax his rules as time goes on, but for now I will accept what he is offering.

 

“Ok.” Taking a deep breath, I look him in the eye. “May I go now?”

 

Mom gives me the slightest hint of a smile, “Doing anything fun today?”

 

The blush is automatic, along with my heartbeat doubling. I manage to choke out, “Um-- Jake and I are going hunting.”

 

Dad opens his mouth but Mom starts speaking before he can, “That sounds like fun.” Her grin makes me smile. _Only in my world would someone refer to our type of hunting as fun._ “Are you going to work on the Mustang after that?”

 

With everything that has gone on over the past couple of days, I almost forgot it was Sunday. Jacob and I have a standing “date” to work on my car on Sunday evenings. “I guess. I don’t know, I’ll have to ask Jacob.”

 

“Just let us know what you end up doing.” Mom smiles at me and I take that as a hint to get out while I can.

 

“Ok, bye.” I stand up and walk as quickly as I can for the back door. Before leaving I pause, glancing back at my parents. Dad looks upset and I can tell Mom is trying to settle him down. I clear my throat to get their attention. When they glance up, I give them both a smile. “Thanks again. I love you both.”

 

Mom’s face blooms into a huge smile as she jumps up from the sofa and runs to hug me. She whispers against my ear, “I love you too. This will all work out, don’t worry.”

 

When she releases me, I glance over at Dad, still sitting on the sofa. His face is much more relaxed, but he still doesn’t look happy like Mom. “I love you too, Renesmee. Just remember, we just want what’s best for you.”

 

“I know, Dad, but Jacob _is_ what’s best for me.” Before he can say anything else, I wave and dash out the door. I don’t stop running until I’m deep in the forest. As soon as I stop, my phone beeps with a new text message.

 

_Turn around. ~J_

 

My whole body spins around a hundred and eighty degrees. I don’t hear any movement, but I know Jacob can move quietly through the woods, even in his human form. I’m about to respond to his text to ask where he is when I finally hear something off to my right. I turn back to where I was looking before, my heart pounding and my entire focus centered on the spot where I just heard the noise.

 

“There’s a herd of elk over there.”

 

I clasp my hand over my mouth to keep from squealing as I swing back around. I’m not prepared for how close to me Jacob is standing; I nearly crash into him I’m moving so fast. Before I would have forced myself to take a step back, move away from Jacob. Now though, I don’t bother, soaking in the feeling of his hands on my hips, steadying me.

 

As my surprise fades away, I realize what is directly in front of my eyes; his bare chest. He isn’t wearing a shirt, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite looks on him. I’m so distracted that I don’t notice he’s moving my hand away from my mouth until I feel his heart pounding rapidly beneath my hand.

 

I was fascinated by his chest before, but seeing my own pale skin against his much darker skin adds a whole new dimension. _He really is beautiful._ The strong beats I feel beneath my palm are so different from my own. I feel something else beneath my palm; Jacob’s chest rising and falling very quickly. It’s like he’s winded from running to find me; but he doesn’t get winded. My eyes finally move up to his to ask what is going on, but the words never leave my mouth.

 

The look on Jacob’s face shocks me. I was expecting him to be laughing at his being able to sneak up on me, but there is no sign of his usual smile. He looks serious as his eyes bore into mine with a sharp intensity. They are so dark they almost look black.

 

The heat I felt coursing through my body earlier when he was in my bed takes off again. Thoughts are racing through my mind, things I want to do right now, but I’m paralyzed in this moment. I want to look back down at my hand on his chest. I want to slide my hand over his chest, explore his exposed skin. _I want to ask him to_ kiss _me._

 

Jacob’s eyes release mine for the briefest of seconds, darting down at my lips then back to my eyes. I swallow thickly around my suddenly dry throat. _Is this it?_ The heat in his gaze seems to have doubled in just that brief time away, which thrills me.

 

“This is ‘later’, Ness,” Jacob whispers, his head leaning closer to mine as I feel his hand slide up from my hip to my waist. “Tell me now if you want me to stop.” The pressure of his fingers digging into my skin is amazing, his grip tight like he’s ready to push me away if needed. I want to tell him it isn’t necessary, but I can’t form the words.

 

Jacob’s face hovers ever closer to mine, our noses brushing. His warm breath escaping his mouth caresses my lips, but this isn’t enough. I don’t want him to stop. I never want him to stop. I need him to kiss me, now.

 

“Thank fuck.”

 

Jacob’s words are low and rumbly, surprising me so much that I gasp just as his lips brush mine. The touch is light, like the beat of a butterflies wings, and just a breathtaking to experience. When he moves away just a little I think that’s all he’s going to do. Exasperated, I prepare myself to complain but then he moves back in.

 

I have no idea what I’m doing, but I don’t ever want to _stop_. The more of his lips I feel against mine the more I want to shout for joy. _Oh God his lips, on mine._ Just when I think my knees might not hold me up Jacob moves both of his hands to my sides to keep me upright. Knowing he has me, I let go of all worries, letting every part of me focus on the delicious feeling of Jacob finally kissing me.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** In case you don’t recognize Carl Orff’s “O Fortuna” by name alone, here’s the music as well as the translation, so you can know why Jacob called Edward a “drama queen”. http://www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=FWiyKgeGWx0&feature=related


	8. Finally See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, we are just sharing our version of how the story continued after she ended.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Ready? Jake’s turn. Jake and Ness finally get to talk and clear the air on quite a few things.

** Chapter 8 “Finally See” **

 

_Wait till the day you finally see_

_I've been here waiting patiently_

_Crossing my fingers and my t's_

_She cried on my shoulder begging please_

 

_Think twice before you touch my girl_

_Come around I'll let you feel the burn_

“Think Twice” - Eve 6

 

** JPOV **

 

-0-

 

My paws are heavy as I pace through the woods waiting for Ness to finish her talk with Bella and Edward. I’d give anything to be in there but I know it would only make it harder on her. I have no doubt Edward and I would argue. While our goal is the same, to take care of Ness, we have very different ideas of how that should be accomplished. I do not see her as the child that he does. The last thing I want is to upset Ness by her father and I arguing again, so I force myself to continue moving through the forest.

 

My mind is so distracted with worry over what Edward could possibly be saying to Ness that I don’t realize she’s coming out of the house until I hear the door close. She’s running but I can feel her relief like it is my own, my stiff muscles relaxing. To confirm my suspicions, I concentrate on her scent as the wind blows it in my direction. The metallic taste of worry that surrounded her before is gone, easing the last of my tension.

 

Without thinking I head toward her, phasing back as I run, pausing only to pull on my jeans. My feet are bare and my steps remarkably light, not making a sound. In her haste to get away from the house she doesn’t realize I’m so close. If I weren’t so anxious to hear what happened I would admonish her for not being alert as she runs through the woods. When she runs right past me I start following her silently. I pull out my phone but wait to send her a text until she finally stops.

 

As soon as she reads my message to turn around, she does so. A breeze picks up again, carrying her scent back to me; relief mixed with excitement and a tinge of nervousness. She smells as amazing as she looks. Her long curly hair flies through the air, landing wildly around her face. _So beautiful._ I’m about to tell her so when she spins away again, her focus now centered on a sound I heard as well.

 

I silently move to stand right behind her, still a little surprised that she hasn’t realized I’m here. “There’s a herd of elk over there,” I whisper softly so the animals can’t hear us. As much as I want to know what her father said to her, I always want to make sure she is taken care of, healthy. My focus switches to getting her to hunt; but I promise myself once that is done I will find out how things went inside, then talk about us.

 

  1. Such a strange word to apply to Ness and I. While we’ve always been an “us”, it has a completely different meaning now than it has in the past. I’m so ready to get things sorted out that I can barely stay in my own skin. My concern about seeing her hunt fades as the need to define our relationship, claim her as mine, takes over.



 

Her gasp at my words scares the elk away, which right this second, I don’t mind. She spins to face me, her hand going up to cover her mouth. I’m standing so close to her that I almost expect her to move back. When she doesn’t, encouragement floods my veins.

 

I steady Ness with my hands on her hips, both to keep her from crashing into my chest and to keep her right where she is, close to me. There’s a blush high on her cheeks and her eyes are glued to my bare chest. Before, I would have doubted if she knew she was staring. Now, I’m certain that she knows she’s ogling. _And she likes what she sees._ The realization and the look in her eyes somehow wakes up my body. I’ve never had her openly check me out, but I love the feeling and crave even more of it. Screw hunting and talking, I would willing lay down on the ground right now to let her explore me, just to continue to feel this amazing sensation. _Progressing our relationship might be smoother than I thought. Thank God._

 

My breathing becomes more labored as I slowly reach out to pull Ness’ hand away from her mouth. Feeling her soft skin against mine has every nerve in my fingertips tingling. I place her palm over my heart, knowing she can feel it racing under my skin.

 

After last night, I’m not completely shocked when an image of her small, pale hand on my chest flashes in my mind. In that brief second that she unknowingly shares her thoughts, she also shares something else. It’s only two words, but the meaning could be interpreted in so many different ways. “I want.”

 

Before I can ask, before I can tell her she’s sharing her thoughts with me in this new way, her beautiful brown eyes finally look up at me. So many emotions are reflected back at me as I look into her eyes. She almost looks panicked but it passes quickly as her eyes travel all over my face. My eyes drop down to her lips of their own accord, but as I drag them back up her face I realize this is my chance.

 

I can kiss her now. Without anyone telling me I’m not allowed or it’s too soon or not right. My imprint finally knows she’s my imprint and I’m hopeful she agrees to at least being my girlfriend in the very near future. Now that she knows, there are so many better definitions for her than _only_ my best friend. Ness is everything I could ever need and all that I will ever want.

 

While not the first time I’ve noticed, the fact that her lips are a little uneven is suddenly very intriguing to me. The top one is more plump than the bottom but it’s slight; only noticeable to someone that has spent time looking. Like, say, _me_ for instance. I need to explore that difference, feel her lips pressed against mine.

 

“This is ‘later’, Ness,” I whisper before I realize I’m speaking the words. Her throat works as she swallows when my meaning becomes clear. “Tell me now if you want me to stop.”

 

If she told me she wasn’t ready I would stop myself, pull away from her. There is no way I would ever do anything she isn’t comfortable with. Her silence encourages me and I let my face move a little closer to hers, brushing our noses together while still giving her time to pull back if she wants. My hands tighten on her, ready to push her back or pull her tighter depending on her response. _I want her to be into this more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life_.

 

Ness’ sweet scent surrounds me, taking over my senses as I breathe her in. I don’t want to make any sudden movements that might make her feel awkward in my eagerness to kiss her, but I need to feel more. My hands slowly move to her waist, itching to pull her flush against my body.

 

Just as my lips are about to brush hers, I hear her familiar voice in my head, whispering the words I’ve longed to hear for so long. “Kiss me, now.”

 

I mutter quietly, “Thank fuck.”

 

Capturing Ness’ gasp I touch my lips to hers. It feels like being struck by lightning and I’m man enough to admit it. If I were a cartoon character, hearts would be floating above my head. I lift my face just a little, pulling our lips apart in case she needs a second of space. Her brows scrunch together, the way they do when she’s preparing to argue with me. That’s how I know she’s ok.

 

I let my lips touch hers again, adding a bit of pressure while I move my hands up my girl’s sides. God, I needed this; need _her_ desperately. I’m so glad I managed not to kiss her before finally telling her, but now that we are kissing--. _More_.

 

Kissing her bottom lip I concentrate there while placing one hand against her face. I’ve been anticipating this for so long but I force myself to go slow. Feeling her lips against mine is amazing, but I want her to enjoy this too. There is no need to rush since we are completely alone right now in the woods. When I finally alternate to her top lip, I think I could spend the rest of my life just kissing her like this.

 

Ness’ lips tentatively loosen and relax against mine then fall open just a little. I take advantage of that and run my tongue along her bottom lip; tasting, savoring. If her scent draws me in, the taste of her on my tongue is my undoing. I’ve never wanted one person in my life as much as I want her. Any other women from my past are obliterated from my mind in that moment. Gently pulling her bottom lip between mine I tug at it, kissing her softly, taking my time.

 

Her top lip slips over mine and she’s kissing me back gently with a bit of uncertainty. Her uncertainty makes me want to shout for joy, only because it helps to confirm I’m the only man that has ever kissed her. The only man that will ever kiss her.

 

While I move my thumb over her cheek, caressing and loving her, I wrap the arm holding her body up tighter around her, pulling her chest flush with mine. My whole being is so focused on the amazing feeling of having her breasts pushed against me that when her tongue tentatively touches my top lip, I jump.

 

Not wanting to let her go in my moment of shock, my fingers find their way into Ness’ hair, keeping her mouth pressed against mine. To my surprise, it doesn’t seem like she noticed my reaction. My grip on her waist relaxes slightly, but instead of leaning back, her hand slides from it’s spot against my heart to my neck. A moan catches in my throat as I feel her tongue against my top lip again.

 

My intention all along has been to keep my control, but now that she is starting to participate, I’m losing my concentration. My body is taking over and all I can think about is my need to feel and taste her. _Everywhere_. When I feel her relax even more into the kiss, my tongue leaps to slide along the edge of hers. I both feel and hear her gasp of surprise.

 

I’m about to pull away from her, worried I’ve pushed too far, when she repeats the movement, sliding along the edge of my tongue now. My lips press harder against hers as a growl of satisfaction pushes up from my chest. _My girl learns fast. Of course she does._

 

Our connection is broken only because of my need to breathe. My lips stay just a few centimeters from hers as I gasp for air. When my brain starts functioning again, I notice something new mixed in with her scent; it’s a heavier smell than I’m accustomed to with her. I recognize it immediately only from the thoughts my imprinted brethren have shared with me; that heavy smell is desire. _She wants me. Just as I want her._ The kick of arousal in my pants almost brings me to my knees.

 

Her eyes open slowly, but I can feel Ness breathing just as hard as I am. Her fingers against my neck find the edge of my hair. I groan again as she starts tentatively moving her fingers through it. Unable to stop myself, my lips return to hers. As her fingers play with my hair, I drop both of my hands back to her waist. My lips make slow passes over hers, letting her control the pressure now.

 

At first she follows me, mimicking the slower pace I’ve set for us this time. This allows me to focus on exploring with my hands while my lips linger on the simple joy of kissing her. I find the edge of her jeans easily and it doesn’t take much for me to push under her shirt to find her soft skin.

 

As soon as my hands touch her bare skin, she whimpers against my lips. She wraps her other arm around my neck and tugs me closer. That’s all the invitation I need to increase the pressure of my lips against hers. She follows right along with me, sighing softly against my mouth.

 

My fingers make small circles all over her satiny skin, slowly pushing higher beneath her shirt. I know I need to stop us soon, but I can’t find the willpower to do so. Not yet. Getting to this point seems to have taken so long, I don’t ever want it to end.

 

Needing more, as much of her as I can take right now, my tongue passes over her lips. She doesn’t even hesitate before sliding her lips apart, granting me full access. When I slide my tongue over hers slowly I feel her arch her chest into mine. Even through her shirt and bra, I can feel her nipples hardening.

 

This finally manages to wake me up enough to slowly pull back. Feeling Ness’ body react so quickly is dangerous and I know it. I don’t want to push her into something she isn’t ready for. I know that if I don’t stop us now, I’m not far away from pulling her to the ground and removing clothes. It’s too soon for that, unfortunately.

 

My hands had made it up to her rib cage, but I begin the descent back to her hips. My lips ease back, pulling away from her slowly, very reluctantly. I should push her away, get some distance between us, but that is impossible. Instead, I make sure my groin isn’t touching her as I lean back. My dick is throbbing against my fly. After this kiss, I don’t think he’ll ever deflate again. At least, not until--. _No, probably not even then_.

 

Grinding my teeth, I try to think of anything to stop thinking about _THAT_. Quil, squishy alien-looking newborn babies, Volturi, Emmett making out with Blondie. Edward and Bella. _Ok that did it_.

 

“That bad?” The words in my head are soft but the worry that accompanies them is what catches my attention. My eyes fly to her face. Even though her hand is against my cheek, she’s nibbling on her bottom lip as she looks over my shoulder.

 

I nudge her chin with my fingers until Ness finally makes eye contact with me. “Why would you even think that?”

 

The version of my face that she sees is in my mind, it looks like I’m in pain. Shaking my head, I try not to laugh at her assumption. “I was trying to think of horrible things to stop thinking about how absolutely amazing it was to kiss you. I needed to--,” clearing my throat I try to think of the best explanation. I finally choke out, “Calm myself down.”

 

She blushes and a small smile crosses her lips. This surprises me and I have to ask, “What?”

 

“You really liked kissing me.” Even though she makes it a statement, she’s putting other thoughts in my mind. There are still questions that surround her statement, like she hopes, but doesn’t want to assume. _Crazy girl_.

 

I cup her cheeks as I press our lips together briefly. My hands move to her shoulders while my lips explore her face, placing small kisses on every inch of her soft skin that I can. In between touches, I speak, “I loved kissing you. If I could kiss you for the rest of my life, I’d be happy. I’ve dreamed of kissing you so often but the reality was so much better than any dream.”

 

I pause for a second, leaning back to look her in the eye. She’s blushing and smiling, but I need to make sure she enjoyed kissing as much as I did. “You liked kissing me too, right?”

 

“Of course,” is shouted in my brain as she giggles in front of me.

 

“Enough to want to kiss me again?” I ask softly, leaning my face toward hers again, stopping only when our foreheads touch.

 

Instead of responding, her hand against my cheek pulls me toward her. She hesitantly brushes her lips against mine, sending a spark straight through to my groin. I’m prepared to pull back, but she surprises me, leaning closer as her lips slide over mine. Having her initiate the kiss is a dream come true; there is something intense about letting her take the lead.

 

I know I can’t let it go too far this time. She still needs to hunt and we need to _talk_. Pulling back from soft lips is difficult, but knowing we still have so much to discuss necessitates it.

 

As I lean back, the wind changes directions and I feel a stray lock of her hair brush the back of my hand. Grabbing the hair gently, I twirl it, the ringlet easily twisting around my finger. It’s been so long since I could play with her hair that I feel the need to remind myself of how soft it feels. As much as I remember the texture, now the feeling of her hair against my skin is so much more powerful; it feels like touching pure silk.

 

The simple act is so distracting that I have no concept of the time passing by. “Jacob?” My name softly whispered in my mind pulls me out of my thoughts and returns my focus immediately to Ness.

 

There are so many emotions playing out on her face that I can’t decipher them all; happy, confused, shocked, overwhelmed, scared, excited. Just when I think I’ve recognized one emotion, another shows up. In the past I didn’t want to push her about her feelings. I watched her closely, analyzing every emotion as it crossed her face, but I avoided asking how she was feeling because it would be too big of a clue about the secret I was keeping. Now that she knows; I don’t have to try to read her face to know what she’s feeling. Now I can just ask. It’s an amazing feeling.

 

Knowing that the conversation I’m about to start is going to take a while, I lower my body to the ground, sitting on the lone patch of grass I can find. Her eyes follow me, but I see them go wide when I offer up my hand to her. She hesitates for just a moment, then she steps forward, putting her hand in mine as I reach for her waist. It doesn’t take much strength on my part to pull her down to sit in my lap.

 

Once she’s settled, I finally find my voice. “How are you?”

 

Her hands are clasped in her lap. I expect her to touch my face to respond, but instead, she whispers, “I’m fine.”

 

“Tell me more. What are you thinking? Feeling? I know you’ve been holding back recently.” This makes her head jerk up, her eyes wide with surprise at my statement. “I knew, but I didn’t say anything because I was scared you’d figure out why I was asking. Please, no more holding back.”

 

Having her this close makes it impossible not to touch her. Tentatively, I press my palm against Ness’ cheek. She leans her head into my hand and my voice drops to a whisper. “All I think about is how I can make you happy, take care of you. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, the focus of my thoughts all day long, the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, and you star in my dreams each and every night. I imprinted on you, Ness.”

 

Tears are escaping the corner of her eyes as I finish speaking. Even though she doesn’t look sad, I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when she finally places her hand against my face. My mind is flooded with every emotion I saw on her face before as well as what seems like a thousand more. I’m drowning in what she’s sharing with me, but I’m so excited to finally be let back into her mind, into her heart, that I don’t mind.

 

“Jacob,” when she speaks my name my heart jumps at the sound, still trying to understand everything she just shared with me. Opening my eyes slowly I see the soft smile on her face but there are still tears. Once my eyes are fully open and locked on hers, she speaks again. “I’ve dreamed of this but never thought it was a possibility.”

 

She starts shaking her head, which worries me, but soon she’s laughing softly. “What?” I ask, wanting in on whatever is making her so happy.

 

Her hand returns to my face. She shows me in her bed this morning, quickly followed by my own voice growling in my head, “ _Why’d you have my pillow under the comforter_?”

 

Chuckling softly I lean a little closer to her, “Ok, you’re going to have to explain what’s so funny about that.”

 

Her cheeks turn bright pink just as she shares another flash of her bedroom. Bella is in her line of sight, standing at the door to her room with a big smile on her face. Her odd bell-like voice almost sings as she speaks, “Good. Now, if you want that horrible scent to linger, I’d recommend putting the pillow under your sheets.”

 

My eyes go wide and I want to jump for joy at what the memory she just shared with me means. Instead, I can feel myself grinning like a fool. “You knew! You knew I stayed Friday night. Why didn’t you say anything yesterday?”

 

“I didn’t know what to say.” She removes her hand from my face and her eyes follow it back to her lap. My heart clenches with the truth of her statement. She didn’t know what to say because yesterday she didn’t know she was my imprint.

 

“I’m sorry, Ness, that was irresponsible of me. I’ve resisted the temptation for months now, but you looked so tired and sad Friday night. When your mom offered, I jumped at the opportunity to hold you in my arms while you slept. Her condition was I had to be out before dawn, which meant I left before you woke up. I didn’t mean to confuse you or freak you out, I just wanted you to finally get some sleep.”

 

As I speak, she shakes her head. When I finally pause for a breath, she jumps in. “Jacob, I wasn’t freaked out. Confused, yes, but there’s nothing for you to apologize for.” She bites her lip for just a second, like she’s building up her courage. I want to kiss her, replace her teeth with my lips, but I stop myself, knowing we need to keep talking. Finally, she releases it and her eyes dart up to mine before settling on my throat. “Why didn’t you say anything yesterday? And how did you know I haven’t been sleeping?”

 

Since her second question is easier to answer, I tackle that one first. “Ness, I imprinted on you. Plus, you’re my best friend, I knew _something_ was wrong. Even though I couldn’t tell you about imprinting, I have always watched over you, kept you safe. The clearing you ran to last night has a perfect view of your bedroom.”

 

She tilts her head for just a second then gasps, “Jacob! I get dressed in my room. Have you ever--?”

 

Before she can finish I’m gasping out, “NO! I managed to look away when I knew you were changing.”

 

“Managed?” she asks, twisting her head slightly. _Shit_.

 

I cringe, remembering all those times when I would see her waking up or, worse, returning to her room after a shower in just a towel. “It wasn’t always easy to look away.”

 

“Why?”

 

Taking a deep breath I try to organize a response that will help her understand. Opening up like this is needed, but I never would have guessed how difficult it would be.

 

“The only reason I agreed to Edward’s terms was so I could keep you here, close to me. If I hadn’t looked away, I risked losing you because I wouldn’t have been able to stop at just looking. It became so much more difficult the last couple of months. I did my best not to think of you as an adult, but you made that very difficult.” My wink is automatic and she grins in response. As much as I want to tease her, keep her smiling, I press on. “That’s also why I didn’t say anything about spending the night yesterday. If I had mentioned it, if I had known your reaction to finding out I shared your bed, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from telling you about imprinting. It was a battle every day to hold myself back. But I had to keep you near. I was willing to sacrifice my own desires for that.”

 

It takes everything in me to remain silent, to give her time to process what I just said. I want to grab her hand, press it against my face so I can follow her thoughts, but I’m relegated to just watching her face. Not that I mind, her face, just like the rest of her, is stunning.

 

“Is that why you had a countdown to my birthday?”

 

To say I’m shocked is an understatement. “How do you know about that?”

 

Her cheeks go bright pink and I don’t need her to say the name to know who told her. “Seth told you.” It’s not a question, I know it’s the only answer.

 

She nods but doesn’t say any more, her eyes returning to her hands in her lap. I’m dreading hearing the story, but I need to know. Even though Seth promised he didn’t touch her, I know something happened between them, that Ness _begged_ him to do something ‘for’ her.

 

“Will you please tell me what’s going on between you and Seth?”

 

She doesn’t say anything, but slowly moves her hand from her lap to my face. As soon as I feel her palm make contact with my cheek, images are floating through my mind. She’s showing me lessons with her father, with Seth sitting beside her. Seth with a book open, studying, while she takes a test. She and Seth laughing over a shared joke.

 

Image after image of her spending time with Seth. I can feel my blood boiling. _How long has this been going on?_

 

I must have spoken my question because Ness answers, “He’s been taking classes with Dad for two years now.”

 

My eyes jerked open. “Two years? For two years he’s been at your house every day. How did I not know this? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t Edward tell me?”

 

“Because Seth asked us to keep it a secret.”

 

Such a simple answer, but the underlying meaning is clear to me. She and Seth are _close_ friends, much closer than I ever expected. As much as it upsets me to know I completely missed that my imprint was spending so much time with a wolf in my pack, it still doesn’t answer the question. Before I can get to the big question, I need to understand why Seth was even at their house in the first place.

 

“Ok, so Seth has been studying with Edward for the last two years. Studying what? He got his high school diploma.” I leave off the “unlike me” at the end of the sentence. I never bothered to go back and finish school after everything with Victoria and the Volturi. It’s never been a big deal to me, until now.

 

“He was trying to get certified so he could teach, at least at the Rez school. Dad did more than that though.”

 

“Of course Edward went out of his way for Seth. Those two have some sort of a weird bond.” I know I’m growling out my words but I’m irritated. It’s almost like Edward did everything he could to keep Seth close while doing his damnedest to keep me _away_.

 

Ness chuckling stops me. “What?”

 

“Nothing, it’s just,” she pauses, shaking her head, “you’re right, they do have a weird bond. Dad was always way easier on Seth during lessons.” She starts laughing harder and when I look at her she giggles out, “He was the teacher’s pet.”

 

As much as I want to stay upset, Ness laughing eases my tension. Sure, Seth spent a lot of time with her over the past two years, but right now, she’s sitting in my lap laughing. Rolling my eyes at her, I feel a chuckle escape as I respond, “I’ll make sure to remind Seth of that frequently.”

 

This seems to sober her up. She bites her lip then whispers, “Please don’t be mad at Seth. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“He upset you, in my book, that means he did something wrong.” The growl is back in my voice, but this is something very serious to me. _No one hurts Ness._

 

She’s shaking her head again but she won’t make eye contact with me. I barely hear her whispered words, “It’s not like that, Jake. He didn’t do anything to upset me other than be a good friend. To both of us.”

 

This surprises me, “What do you mean?”

 

“I’ll show you, everything, but you have to promise not to get upset and stop me, ok? I just-- this is really hard for me to share with you. It’s embarrassing and not my proudest moment, but you deserve to know.”

 

Her words are ominous, but I agree to her terms. I’m holding my breath waiting for the dreaded images to start flying into my mind when I feel Ness’ hair brush against my chest just before her head lowers to rest against my shoulder. When I catch her eyes, she gives me a smile, but if it was meant to make me feel better, it doesn’t work. It only serves to make me more nervous.

 

I give her a slight nod to indicate I’m ready and close my eyes. The black of the back of my eyelids is all I see. Soft lips pressed against the underside of my jaw make my eyes open wide. When I glance down she whispers, “I just wanted to remind you that you are who I want to kiss. You’re the only one I’ve ever _dreamed_ of kissing.”

 

Before I can respond, the image of Seth jumps into my mind. I close my eyes, reminding myself of my promise not to stop her now that she has started.

 

-0-

 

_“Hey Ness! The countdown is on! Forty-two days.”_

 

 _His arms are wide as he opens them for her. She walks down the stairs and he pulls her into a tight hug._ Too tight in my opinion, but I keep my mouth shut.

 

 _She gasps when he finally releases her, “Forty-two days until_ what _?”_ Definitely too tight.

 

_Seth’s face looks shocked, “Your birthday, of course! It’s all Jacob thinks about.”_

 

Forty-two days means this was Friday. This must have happened while I was sleeping and it must be why she was so upset that night. I want to shout, ask her questions, but force myself to remain quiet remembering my promise to her.

 

_Edward’s, “Hmph,” is clear somewhere in the background, but his face is calm when she glances at him, as is Seth’s when her gaze returns to him. He’s laughing, of course, but shakes his head at her._

 

_Seth redirects every one’s attention by asking about the two boxes on the piano._

 

_“This is your surprise. Go ahead, open it.” Edward moves back over to where Bella is standing and they are both grinning happily._

 

 _He opens the boxes and argues with Edward about something being “too much” but I still don’t get it._ I wish this gift of hers had fast forward.

 

 _When Edward begins to explain, he sounds proud of Seth, like he’s his father. Seth goes to shake Edward’s hand and finally Ness can see what was in the boxes. Degrees. University of Washington. Bachelors degree in Education and History._ Damn. Edward did hook him up.

 

_“I’m just glad they arrived now. I was worried they wouldn’t get here before we left.” Edward’s words stop Ness cold and remind me of a topic we still haven’t discussed; her leaving for college._

 

_“Oh yeah?” Seth laughs, “You and Bella going away for your anniversary?”_

 

 _Then the bomb is dropped. Edward, being the coward he is, leaves Ness to explain._ I can feel my teeth gnashing at my lip in anger. How dare he leave it up to her when it was his idea?

 

_Ness is nervous, I can feel her tension even through the memory. Seth paces around the room, but she’s crying, so he looks blurry._

 

 _“Tell me it’s just them. That only Edward and Bella are leaving.” Seth growling surprises me, I want to shout at him to_ back off _._

 

_She doesn’t respond vocally, but shakes her head back and forth in the negative. It’s clear Seth understands her meaning._

 

_“How soon? Were you going to tell any of us or just leave in the middle of the night?” I want her to tell him it's none of his damn business, but also want to hear her answer these same questions. He pauses in his rant. “Have you told Jacob?” He sounds surprisingly worried._

 

_The tears start to evaporate from her eyes as she speaks, “Not yet, but I will. It’s really not that big of a deal, though. I’m going to attend the University of Washington. We’re just moving to Seattle.” Her words, though similar to Edward’s, differ because of the pain that is so clearly laced within._

 

 _“It is a big deal, Ness.”_ I find myself cheering Seth on. It’s almost like he had my back. _He walks back over to her before continuing. “Ness, your friends deserve to know this._ Especially _Jacob.”_

 

 _“I agree my friends need to know, but I really don’t see why Jacob is so special. I doubt he’ll even miss me.” She was irritated, I can hear it in her voice, but it doesn’t make the words any less painful._ I want to tell her how wrong she was, but the memory keeps going.

 

 _“Ness, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but trust me, it will_ kill _Jacob if you leave.”_

 

_“He has Leah to comfort him.”_

 

“Ness.” I can’t stay quiet at this point. I need to know why she would ever think there was something between Leah and I.

 

Before I can say more, I feel her lips against my ear, “Please Jake, let me finish.”

 

Grinding my teeth, I remain quiet, letting her continue. My mind is reeling with all the information she is sharing with me right now. So many assumptions, by both of us. Once she is finished, I have to clear the air with her.

 

 _Seth’s reaction is to laugh at Ness thinking there was something going on between Leah and I._ I don’t particularly like his laughing at my imprint but really, it’s baffling to me that she would think that.

 

 _After a few minutes more of laughing, and Ness asking him what is so funny, he stands up straight. “You are what is so funny. You don’t_ actually _think there is something going on between Jacob and my sister, do you?”_

 

 _She shrugs. Doesn’t say anything, just shrugs._ This hurts me so much. I shouldn’t have let Edward keep me away from her. If I had just been able to tell her, she wouldn’t have had so many doubts about my feelings for her. I could have showed her what she means to me.

 

 _Seth stands next to her, putting his arm on her shoulder, “They are just friends, I promise.”_ Much as I appreciate him backing me up, I don’t like him _touching_ her.

 

 _“Besides, my sister is too much for Jacob to handle. I’m not sure there is a man alive that can take her on.”_ For once I actually have to agree with Seth. I pity any man that wants to be with Leah. She is not just any ‘normal’ female. _“Trust me, there’s as much going on between Leah and Jacob as there is going on between you and I.”_

 

_Ness doesn’t reply, which scares me. She steps away from Seth, moving to sit on the couch, but remains quiet. Her silence mixed with the fact that she isn’t sharing what she was feeling makes me think the embarrassing part is coming up._

 

 _“Why isn’t there anything going on between you and I?”_ My heart drops. I really don’t know if I can watch any more but I have to _know_.

 

_“What?” Seth looks like he could gag, which makes me feel a little better._

 

_His reaction doesn’t seem to deter her. She’s determined, and like normal, won’t let something go, even when she knows it isn’t right. “I just mean-- we are good friends. I like you. We get along great. Neither of us is-- with anyone...”_

 

 _Seth sits beside her on the couch. He isn’t laughing or smiling, which is rare for him. “I like you too, Ness, but we just aren’t like_ that _.”_

 

The relief is overwhelming. As far as I can tell, Seth did everything right in this situation. That scares me.

 

_“How do you know?” She whispers, but I can hear the determination pushing her on._

 

_Instead of looking at Seth, she looks at his hands when he taps her on the shoulder. “I just know, Ness. I’m not the wolf for you.”_

 

Fucker told her indirectly that there is a wolf for her. Son of a bitch!

 

 _“You could be.” She sounds almost desperate now, which truly frightens me._ Nothing good can come out of desperation. I would know. What scares me even more than her desperation is the fear that she might actually have feelings for _him_.

 

_Seth grabs her attention until she’s looking in his eyes. “But I’m not.”_

 

I can feel my shoulders sagging in relief. I’m hopeful this is the worst of what happened that night, but I have a feeling it’s not.

 

_“Have you ever been in love?” She actually covers her mouth with her hand like she didn’t mean to ask the question._

 

_Seth is back to grinning now, apparently relieved to answer these questions. He taps his temple with his finger, “No, but I’ve seen enough of it in my head.”_

 

_“What if we kissed? Just to make sure there isn’t anything between us.”_

 

And there it is, one of the many things I was dreading but hoping didn’t happen. My imprint asked another man, a wolf, to kiss her. I’m about to open my eyes, argue with her when I feel her lips brush against my cheek as she whispers, “Shhhh, just let me finish, then we can talk.”

 

I want to scream, tell her not to bother because I can’t take anymore. Even if Seth denied her, it kills me to think she even asked that of him. That she didn’t come to me. I can’t be mad at her when I was keeping the imprinting from her, but it still hurts.

 

Clenching my jaw so that I don’t say anything, I nod for her to finish.

 

_Seth cringes, jumps up and starts pacing before eventually stopping at the piano._

 

_“No, Ness.”_

 

_“Why? You like me!” The frustration is evident in her voice._

 

 _Seth remains calm, “Yes I do, as a friend, but Ness, I can’t do that. You should talk to Jacob. We both know it’s not_ me _you want.”_ Once again he pushes the edge, practically telling her I imprinted, and yet, she didn’t catch on. Did I hide it that well all this time? I’d thought for sure there were things that made it obvious.

 

_“We can’t always have what we want.” She whispers softly, breaking my heart. Then her demeanor changes from hurt to angry. She’s so upset she’s almost screaming as she continues, “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I want, it will never happen. If you aren’t the guy for me, there’s no way Jacob ever could be. He only sees me as a kid... a friend.”_

 

_Seth doesn’t say anything. The room is quiet and I can feel her anger retreating. But her determination is still present._

 

 _“I leave for school in less than two months. Please, won’t you help me? I can’t go off to college without being kissed. You are the only one who can help me.”_ Her voice is soft, but I can hear the begging tone in the familiar words.

 

This is what she shared with me last night without knowing. While familiar, it cuts even deeper now because I have the context around her words. She wasn’t just begging for help, she was begging for him to _kiss_ her.

 

_Seth quietly returns to stand in front of Ness. He kisses the top of her head then steps back. “Sorry Ness, that’s the best you’ll get out of me. I’m not the only one who can help you, and you know it. Just-- talk to Jacob. About college, going away, this kiss thing. Trust me, he will want to know all of it. That’s the most help I can give you.”_

 

-0-

 

Her hand slides from my cheek and she pulls back, sitting up straight, though still on my lap. Even though she hasn’t moved far, the void between us is huge. I don’t know what to say. I’m relieved, angry, and most of all, confused.

 

“Did you want to kiss him?”

 

Her head shakes back and forth quickly, “No. I’ve never felt anything for Seth other than friendship, but I didn’t understand why. I thought if we kissed, maybe I’d magically feel for him the way I feel for you.”

 

She’s blushing and won’t meet my eyes. I know this is difficult, but I still don’t understand why she’d ask that of Seth. “Did you _want_ to feel that way for him?”

 

“Of course not, but I didn’t think you’d ever return my feelings.” She sighs softly before looking up at me. “As far as I knew, you hadn’t imprinted on anyone, which meant you would never imprint on me.”

 

“I should have never let it go this far. I knew when Embry imprinted that you were upset by the news. I should have told you then and dealt with the consequences.”

 

“How-- how did you know?” Ness looks startled by this information.

 

My thumb moves down her cheek to rest against the corner of her mouth, “Like I said before, you’re my imprint. I don’t need you to tell me when you are in pain, I feel it like it’s my own. Just before Embry imprinted I could feel the shift in our relationship happening. The way you looked at me, talked to me, and acted around me was changing. I was nervous, trying to figure out how to deal with the changes without telling you, but I was starting to adjust. Then he imprinted. I could still feel you changing how you felt about me, but suddenly it was like you closed me out.”

 

Tears are streaming down her face and she sobs out, “I’m sorry, Jacob. I thought I was losing you. I just knew deep down that you were going to imprint on someone then that would be it for me. The only thing I could figure out was to try to pull away from you.”

 

I pull her tight against my chest, rocking her back and forth until the tears finally slow down. I knew she was in pain, but if I had known it was this bad, I would have stepped in. The guilt is overwhelming as I deal with the reality of my many mistakes with her.

 

“Shh, it’s ok. It’s over now. No more worrying about losing me. I will be right beside you, always.” My fingers play with the soft ends of her hair while she composes herself. Even when Ness pulls back from my chest, I don’t drop my hands from around her. “Just, do me a favor. Don’t ever ask anyone else to kiss you.”

 

She covers her mouth but I can hear the combination giggle-hiccup escape. Finally she manages to speak again, “Ok, I promise, Jake.” She pauses then looks up at me with very serious eyes, “But you have to promise to stop being mad at Seth. I showed you, he didn’t do anything.”

 

“I know, but I still don’t like it. He was spending time with you without telling me. It’s just not right.” I’m being stupid, I know it, but I can’t help myself.

 

“Are you jealous? You don’t have to be. The only reason my friendship with Seth was a secret was because he didn’t want you all to know about his studies.”

 

The growl comes up without my meaning it to, “Ness. Of course I’m jealous. I’m jealous that Seth spent time with you that I didn’t. I’m jealous that you asked Seth to kiss you first. And if he had kissed you, I would be beyond jealous. Just knowing that he upset you made me want to kill him. I’m not sure what I would have done if he had actually kissed you.”

 

Her lips are against mine as soon as I finish speaking. As much as I want to be gentle with her, right now, I can’t. I pull her chest flush against mine as I take over the kiss she initiated, adding pressure and tightening my grip on her. I suck in her gasp when her hip brushes against my groin and use the opportunity to slip my tongue into her waiting mouth.

 

As soon as my tongue brushes hers, I feel her nipples pucker against my chest. _God, how am I going to manage to keep my hands to myself?_ I want to pull her shirt off, but suppress the urge, for now. I appease myself by attempting to mark her as mine.

 

My focus moves to her lower lip. Just as she is wrapping her arms around me, I sink my teeth in. She doesn’t gasp like I expected her to. No, my girl arches her back, pressing those tight nipples even harder against my chest as she moans. Just when I think she can’t get any hotter, I feel her tugging roughly against my hair.

 

“Mine.” I growl out when I pull back slightly from her lips to gulp in air.

 

She smiles, her skin bright pink from her neck up, “Yours. Does that mean you are mine too?”

 

“Always have been, always will be.”

 

Her grin is wide and I’m reminded of something else she shared with me in her memory. “About Leah,” the fire of her blush darkens her cheeks immediately but I push on, “you have no reason to be jealous of her. Like Seth said, there’s nothing going on between her and I.”

 

“You spend a lot of time with her,” she mumbles softly, not looking me in the eye.

 

Sighing, I lift her chin with my finger, placing my lips softly against hers. I pull back before we can go further. Looking in her eyes, I explain what has been going on. “Leah is my Second, I rely on her to have my back and cover for me, which means I will have to spend some time with her. Things have been rough for her lately. She didn’t take the news about Embry imprinting too well either. When he was fighting it, she was ok, but after he accepted Lillah, things haven’t been good for her. It’s just her and Seth that haven’t imprinted now. She thinks something is wrong with them, especially her.”

 

Her palm brushes my cheek as she hesitantly presses the question into my mind, “Ok, but why has she been texting _you_ so much?”

 

“I was afraid you had noticed that, but when you didn’t say anything, I assumed you weren’t bothered.” I frown, “I’m sorry, I should have just told you, but I thought it was easier to keep quiet.”

 

I give her my best smile and kiss her cheek, “No more secrets.”

 

She nods her head in agreement, “No more secrets.” She clears her throat, “The texts?”

 

“Leah feels like she doesn’t fit in. Not with the guys, or the imprints. I was trying to be a good Alpha to her, be there for her when she needed to talk. Most of the time she just needed to clear her head. Leah and I have a weird bond. I wouldn’t call it friendship so much as a mutual understanding. She isn’t going to be happy with me now that you know.” Her face scrunches up with the question she doesn’t ask. I shrug, “The whole ‘misery loves company’ idea. I’m no longer in misery.”

 

I can see that she’s letting this roll around in her mind. Ness frowns first, probably understanding Leah’s feelings of being an ‘outsider’. But then her smile is wide as she wraps her arms around my neck. I can just barely hear her whisper, “About the misery-- I’m so happy to hear you say that you no longer feel that way.”

 

I want to pull her lips back to mine, but instead I take in a deep gulp of air. Now that things are cleared about Leah, my need to make sure my imprint is taken care of kicks in again. “You still need to hunt.”

 

“Will you join me?” she asks as she leans back to look me in the eye. There is a spark of excitement in her voice that I can’t deny.

 

“I’ll go with you, but I can’t hunt. Dad wants us to come over for dinner, if you don’t have plans? I figured we could go work on your car after?”

 

She hugs me tight, her fingers again playing with my hair. Her lips move over my ear as she whispers, “Sounds like a plan to me.”

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Hope you enjoyed! Don’t forget to hit that little review button. See you next time!

 

 


	9. Just One Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: We don’t own these characters. We do own what we make them do.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Hello lovelies! Things are ramping up fast now for Jake & Ness, so hold on tight, this is a bit of a roller coaster chapter.

** Chapter 9 “Just One Touch” **

_You make me feel_

_Like I'm livin' a_

_Teenage dream_

_The way you turn me on_

_I can't sleep_

_Let's run away and_

_Don't ever look back,_

_Don't ever look back_

 

_My heart stops_

_When you look at me_

_Just one touch_

_Now baby I believe_

_This is real_

_So take a chance and_

_Don't ever look back,_

_Don't ever look back_

“Teenage Dream” - Katy Perry

** NPOV **

 

-0-

 

This has been the most perfect day of my life. I honestly don’t know how it can get any better. There’s still school for us to discuss, but right now, I don’t care. After today, I have faith that we will figure it all out. Already I feel so much more relaxed now that Jacob and I are being open and honest with one another.

 

As difficult as it was to tell him about Seth, I’m glad that weight is off my shoulders. Showing him my talk with Mom and Dad wasn’t easy either, but that had more to do with how upset he was over the demands Dad was still insisting on putting on our relationship. However he was easily distracted from his anger by me kissing him. Of course, that caused a little delay, but before we could go too far Jacob was returning my focus to hunting.

 

“Feel better?” Jacob asks as he walks beside me, holding my hand as we make our way through the woods. I’ve just finished hunting and I have to admit, he was right, I desperately needed that. Even though I can survive on human food, the blood recharges me in a way that food never has.

 

It was a little awkward at first, I was self-conscious knowing he was watching me. It was especially odd because he had phased, which meant he couldn’t talk to me. I knew he was being protective, and while I appreciated it, I was much more relaxed when he phased back. Of course, then I had to deal with the distraction of Jacob pacing through the woods in just his jeans. He didn’t hunt himself, but he was always in my line of sight; and what a sight it was. Even from a distance I could see the muscles underneath his skin tensing and relaxing.

 

The smile on my face grows as I lean into his strong body, he releases my hand to wrap his arm around me, tucking me against his side. Automatically, I curl into him, my arms encircling his waist. Inhaling softly, all I smell is Jacob. _Best day ever._ “Yes, much better.”

 

Jacob stops walking so abruptly that I don’t realize he’s no longer in my arms until that empty feeling kicks in. When I take the couple of steps back to him, he has a serious look on his face. The fear grips my body immediately and I grasp one of his hands in both of mine, “What?”

 

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He doesn’t look upset, but I’m still nervous.

 

“Ok. What’s going on?”

 

“Best day ever,” he says, though he still isn’t smiling.

 

Even though I’m concerned, I have to agree with him, “Yes, it is the best day ever. I was just thinking that.”

 

“I know.” He frowns again before looking me in the eye, “You shared that thought with me just now.”

 

“What? No I didn’t. I was leaning against you, but I wasn’t touching your face.” I’m confused. _He must have thought he heard it, or maybe I said it out loud and didn’t realize it._

 

“You didn’t say it out loud.”

 

This makes me gasp, “How did you--?”

 

“I don’t know.” His head shakes back and forth before he stops, his eyes locking on mine. “It’s like your gift is growing now that you are reaching maturity, or maybe it’s just with me. Either way, you don’t have to touch my face to share something. It’s not as _strong_ when you’re not touching my face, more like fleeting thoughts or an image or two, but you are still sharing.”

 

I’m floored. I don’t even know what to say. The downside of being one of just a few hybrids in existence is not being able to ask experts about why things happen to me. _The only option is Granddaddy Carlisle._

 

“When do you see him again?”

 

My hands release his in my surprise at his question. His face falls and I can see I’ve hurt him by breaking our connection. “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner.”

 

My heart sinks at his tone of voice and I step closer, though I’m hesitant to touch his skin again until I understand what’s happening. “I’m going to see him Friday after dance class.”

 

He nods, but as he does so, his words echo in my mind. _Sooner._ He said he should have told me sooner. “How long has this been going on?”

 

“I want to go with you when you see him.” It’s my turn to keep silent as I wait for him to answer my second question.

 

He sighs, “I just noticed it last night while we were driving to the hospital.”

 

“What all have you seen?” The worry over what I might have shared with him makes my heart flutter at double time. Even though I’m trying to share more with Jacob now that I’m his imprintee, I’ve had a lot of thoughts that I didn’t plan on sharing just yet. _Like how I’m in love with him._

 

Jacob grabs my hand this time, pulling me close enough that I can feel the heat coming off his skin. “Not much, I promise. Like I said, it’s a couple of words here and there or a picture. I’m assuming you were reviewing everything that happened last night while we were on the way to the hospital, because I saw little bits of the evening.”

 

I’m quiet, waiting for him to continue. He grins at me before leaning forward and pressing his lips softly to mine. The thrill of having his lips on mine is distracting; I hope it’s always this way, and not just because kissing Jacob is still so new. When he pulls back slightly he’s still grinning, “You told me to kiss you earlier.”

 

I’m having a hard time following his meaning, but having him kiss me again sounds like a plan. Wanting to see if I can control this new way of communicating, I close my eyes and focus on three words travelling through my hands to him, “Kiss me, Jacob.”

 

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

 

He’s grinning and pulling me against him just as the reality starts to sink in. However, I don’t have time to consider it further as his lips are against mine once again, wiping most thoughts out of my mind.

 

Even though we’ve only kissed a few times, each time seems more amazing than the last. I thought for sure our first kiss would be awkward but I couldn’t have dreamed of a more perfect moment. I’m still not totally sure what I’m doing, but I have picked up on a few things that I know he likes. For example, he likes when I play with his hair, especially if I tug a little; that seems to make him a little more aggressive, which _I_ like. He also enjoys when I mimic something he’s just done, like sliding my tongue along his earlier. And he seems to really like when I press my chest against his. I don’t know what that’s about, but I enjoy it too.

 

But more than anything, as soon as his lips touch mine, all I can do is feel. And there are a lot of wonderful feelings going on right now. Soft lips, hard teeth, rough stubbly chin, warm skin, hot tongue, thick hair, tight muscles, strong arms, and hands sliding down to my hips and under my shirt. The heat I felt this morning in bed was nothing compared to what I’m feeling with his lips on mine. My body is on fire everywhere he’s touching me, but the flames are centered around my stomach. I’ve studied human sexuality, I know what happens physically when someone gets turned on, but reading about it and _feeling_ it are two _very_ different things.

 

There was also the surprise of feeling Jacob’s reaction to kissing me earlier. He held back at first, but after I showed him what happened with Seth, something changed. When he pulled me close my hip bumped up against him and his erection was very noticeable. I want to feel that again, see if it feels the same when he’s standing up.

 

As if he can read my mind, one of his hands moves from under my shirt, lower. A tremor runs through me in anticipation, my stomach quivering as I feel his hand cup my butt and pull me closer to him. Then I feel it, he’s careful not to pull me too close, but just against my abdomen I can feel him pushing against the fly of his jeans. I moan against his lips, pulling myself closer to him; trying to get as close to him as possible. I am desperate to feel him like that in a more intimate place.

 

Unfortunately, he stops me. His hands return to my hips, holding me steady while he takes a small step back. “Shit! I forgot how quickly you catch on. You are going to drive me crazy.”

 

He’s panting, which makes me smile. I don’t know why, but knowing I affect him too makes me pretty proud.

 

“What are you grinning about?” he asks, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip.

 

I’m still trying to catch my breath, but somehow find my voice, “I like driving you crazy. That’s how you make me feel.” As I speak my tongue brushes against his thumb on my lip. I want to reach my tongue out and slide it over his skin, taste him, but I’m not sure how he’d feel about it.

 

This time he takes a full step back, he’s no longer touching me and I feel the emptiness again. My instinct is to move closer to him but he holds his hand up to stop me, “Just give me a minute here.”

 

“Did I share again?” I’m not sure what it is that I could have shared with him, I definitely didn’t plan it or try to push anything into his mind. Going back to when he first started kissing me, I try to think of what he might have seen or heard, but my mind draws a blank. All I can remember is feeling, wanting _more_.

 

Jacob gulps, actually gulps, and shakes his head up and down. Biting my lip I cringe, “Was it bad?”

 

“No, just-- I wasn’t expecting things to progress so quickly. It’s always been that way with you, I shouldn’t be surprised, but I think we just need to slow down a little.”

 

“Why?” I didn’t think we were doing anything bad, or moving too fast, so I’m confused.

 

Jacob steps back in front of me, pulling me into a tight hug. I can feel his heart pounding against my ear. He hasn’t worn a shirt all day and I’m hoping this becomes his new normal now that I know about him imprinting on me. I really like his chest, and his back, shoulders, arms, legs. Hands. _God, his hands_.

 

“That’s why.”

 

I must have shared some of what I was just thinking, so I don’t bother asking what. “Because I like your body?”

 

“Because your father will flip out when he finds out that his baby girl felt my hard dick against her stomach and not only liked it, but wanted more.”

 

“Jacob Black!” I’m gasping, swatting at his chest and trying to step back all while I feel a blush cover me from head to toe. He has never said anything like that to me. I wasn’t even aware he had those kind of thoughts. Obviously I am a bit more naive than I realized. He is a guy, after all. It’s just surprising; he’s not only physically reacting to me, but he’s also _talking_ about it.

 

Jacob grabs both of my hands in his then lowers his body so we are eye level. “If you are going to rub up against it, and think about wanting to get closer to it, you might as well call it what it is.”

 

I want to argue, tell him that’s not what was happening, but I know that would be a lie. “You’re right, I’m just not--.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open my eyes, he’s still there, smiling. “I’m still catching up. Yesterday kissing you was just a fantasy of mine, now I’m kissing you and you’re talking about your--.” I cringe. _Oh God, I_ rubbed _against it?_

 

“Which is exactly why we need to slow down, Ness.” Jacob’s mouth presses softly against mine for the briefest of seconds. When I open my eyes, he’s serious. “I fantasized about kissing you yesterday too. I’ll fantasize about kissing you every day of my life, but we are already way past simple kissing. This is all new, for both of us. I’ll do my damnedest to slow us down, stop us when we are going too far, but eventually, we are going to make love. It will only happen when you are ready, but at the rate we are going right now, that could be tomorrow.”

 

He has the sweetest grin on his face, a mixture of hesitation and excitement. I want to be shocked by what he just said, but in my gut I know he’s so very right. I don’t know what I’m doing, but obviously, we’ve pushed the envelope so far. The thought of making love with Jacob gets that fire in my stomach going again, which proves the truth of his words. I might not be able to say “dick” aloud just yet, but I need to start getting accustomed to these things, because they are part of my reality.

 

“Ok, slowing down.”

 

Jacob offers me his hand. I slip mine in his and he starts walking again. We are quiet as he leads me through the woods. Neither of us says a word until we reach the edge, near the main house, where his car is waiting.

 

“Do you need to change or anything before we go?”

 

It takes me a moment to catch on to what he means. _Right. Dinner with his dad._ Glancing down at my clothes, they appear clean. My aunts always insisted I learn how to hunt without messing up my clothes, so now it’s just second nature. “I don’t think so. Do I look ok? How’s my hair?”  I’m suddenly very worried about my appearance. Of course, I’ve had dinner with Billy before, but never as his son’s imprintee; at least, never _knowingly_.

 

“You look more than ok. I _really_ like those jeans.” The way he’s looking at me makes me blush again; it’s like he can’t get enough of me. It’s going to take a while for me to get use to having Jacob react to me like this.

 

Before I can choke out a thanks, he keeps going, “As for the hair,” he grabs a piece and twists it around his fingers, “just how I like it; soft curls that frame your beautiful face. However, if you wanted to straighten it again, I wouldn’t complain.”

 

“Really?” The blush expands across my face and neck. Even though he insisted he did like my hair straight, he didn’t act like it last night, so I just assumed he didn’t. I’m beginning to realize just how much he kept from me to hide the fact he imprinted.

 

“I liked it, a little too much, you just surprised me. You looked-- older and it made me realize what I was trying my best to force myself to forget.”

 

I look up at him curiously. I open my mouth to ask him what he means when he runs his free hand along the back of his neck then opens the passenger door for me to climb into the car. Once I’m settled in, I fear I’ve lost the chance for clarification. But he surprises me by leaning down, his low voice kicking up the fire in my stomach again, “I couldn’t allow myself to see you as older. If I did, it would have driven me insane. It was hard enough fighting to keep my hands off of you.”

 

He quickly closes my door and I watch as he walks around the front of the car, a smirk on his beautiful face. As soon as he takes his place behind the wheel he clasps my hand in his. I love that he automatically reaches for me now, without hesitating. It’s been a long time since he’s held my hand. He use to do that a lot when I was younger; if I’m honest, I’ve missed it.

 

“I’ve missed holding your hand, but I had to stop. I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to control myself if I kept touching you.”

 

I must look a little surprised by Jacob’s words because he looks sheepish. “No, you didn’t share that thought, I can just read your face. I know you didn’t ask, but I needed you to know why I pulled back. It’s nothing you did, Ness. I just-- had to stop so that I could keep you here. Stopping was difficult, but I forced myself to do so before I noticed you changing how you felt about me.”

 

I try to remember when I noticed Jacob no longer touching me. It wasn’t all of a sudden, that I know for sure, but definitely well before Embry imprinted. By the time Embry did imprint, we were down to just hugs and him only taking my hand to lead me somewhere.

 

“Embry.” I must have shared his name at least because Jacob hisses out a rough chuckle, “It’s kind of funny. I gave him so much shit when he tried to fight his need to be with Lillah. I thought I knew, but I didn’t have a damn clue how difficult that truly was for him. Now, I get why he was being such an ass. A simple touch is no longer simple.”

 

Glancing down at our hands, I’m confused by what he means. _What is so different now about a simple touch? Him holding my hand?_

 

His low chuckle surprises me and I glance up to find him watching me closely. “That question came through loud and clear.” He releases my hand only to slide his fingers from my temple down along my hairline until his large hand covers the side of my face. “I’m sure you feel it, but it’s probably so new, you don’t recognize what is happening. I’ve been fighting this for so long now that even a subtle shift feels enormous to me.”

 

I’m trying to follow along, grasp what he means. Wanting to make sure he understands me, I slide my hand to rest against his cheek, speaking directly into his mind, “Feel what? I want to understand, feel the shifts you feel.”

 

Jacob takes a deep breath. As he inhales, he leans just a little closer to me. In the cramped space of his car, that slight move of his body has him hovering over me while my back is pressed against the car door. “What do you feel right now?”

 

My throat is dry so I use my hand still against his cheek to answer his question. “The door against my back, you almost touching me, but not quite.”

 

He gives me a flash of a grin, “That’s good, but let me tell you what your body is telling _me_. Your breath hitching means I surprised you, but you liked it. Your heart is racing because you’re anticipating what will happen next. Your eyes keep dropping down to my lips because you’re hoping I’ll kiss you.”

 

My stomach churns as I analyze reactions I hadn’t even noticed before. Assessing my body, I can’t argue with him; everything he just said is completely accurate.

 

Before I can tell him so, he leans back into his seat. “And now, what do you feel?”

 

“Like this little space between us is a huge gap the size of the Grand Canyon.” I’m starting to understand what he means. Yesterday, sitting this close to Jacob would have been a thrill to me. Now, it’s not enough. I want him back leaning over me, overwhelming my body with being so close. I don’t know how it’s possible, but it’s true.

 

Pressing this thought into his mind, he nods. “That’s exactly it. As you started to get older, grow up, I had to pull back or risk getting pulled in too far to stop myself from telling you. And I couldn’t tell you because I was stupid and--. It was important that we stopped before we even got started. I hated no longer holding your hand or touching your hair, but I let go so I could keep you near.

 

“Of course, today is proof of why it was a good thing I did stop.” He grins at me. Even though I think I understand, I still ask for more. His mouth moves into a full blown smile, “All day I kept thinking ‘I could stop here and die happy’, but soon enough I wanted more.”

 

Chewing on my lip, I consider what he’s just told me. I’ve cherished every moment of my time with Jacob today, but if I’m honest with myself, if I listen deep down, there is always the desire for more. _More, everything_. I want to close this tiny gap between us. I want to snuggle as close to him as possible. I want to kiss every inch of skin I can reach on him until he’s so distracted that he forgets about everything else in the world.

 

Shaking my head at these runaway thoughts, I try to focus again, pressing another question into his mind. “Is it because of imprinting or is this normal?”

 

He shrugs, “I’m not sure, but I know it’s been this way for everyone that has imprinted so far.”

 

“Is it normal for the imprintee to feel it too?” I ask, though I close my eyes, afraid of his answer. I know the other girls love their wolves, but I’m scared things are more intense because I’m not _normal_.

 

Jacob is quiet until I open my eyes. When I do so, he’s grinning, “As far as I know, it is completely normal for the imprintee to feel it too. You’d have to ask the other girls to be sure, but from what I’ve seen, they are just as quick to close any distance as their wolves are.”

 

I exhale my relief. It’s good to know how I’m feeling is ‘normal’ for once. Jacob leans forward and kisses my cheek before settling back and fastening his seat belt. He checks to make sure I’m buckled in before he starts the car. I reach for my cell phone, quickly sending a message to Mom to let her know we are heading to Billy’s for dinner. _Best to let them know what is going on, stay in their good graces. Honestly, I_ don’t _want them worrying._

 

Once we’re moving down the driveway, Jacob reaches out and pulls me as close as possible. He still doesn’t have a shirt on and I snuggle against him, my hand resting on his pec. When I feel the muscles clenching beneath my hand, I open my eyes to investigate. As we drive west into the setting sun toward La Push, the contrast in our skin is striking.

 

“You are killing me right now,” Jacob whispers.

 

I jerk my head up to look at him, “Why?”

 

He clears his throat. When he doesn’t answer, I concentrate very hard on asking the question again through my hand against his skin.

 

He laughs, but it sounds more forced than normal, “Not going to give up, huh? Do you really want to know? This is one of those steps forward that we can’t go back from.”

 

Biting my lip, I consider his warning for the briefest of seconds before speaking softly. “Please tell me.”

 

“I was just thinking,” he pauses, glancing over at me then quickly back at the road. I watch as his jaw tightens. Without thinking, I slide my fingers along his jawline, pressing slightly in an effort to relax him. It works, surprisingly. He tilts his head and gives me a slight smile before leaning over to kiss my forehead. When his eyes return to the road, Jacob finally speaks again. “Your hand against my chest made me think about how I wanted to remove your shirt and slide my fingers along the swell of your-- breasts.”

 

I have to try to swallow a couple of times to get my throat to work again. My mouth is dry but the rest of my body is tingling over what he just said, _especially_ my breasts. It’s easy for me to picture what he just described. A wave of heat courses through my body and I have to bite my lip to keep from gasping. If my body reacts like this at just the thought, I can’t imagine what will happen when he actually does touch me like he just described. _I want to know._

 

“Huh,” I whisper.

 

Jacob barks out in laughter, “That’s all you have to say?”

 

“No!” I laugh, swatting at his arm playfully before returning to resting my head against his shoulder. “I was just thinking-- that’s going to happen.”

 

“You’re damn right that’s going to happen.” Jacob sounds very serious, which makes me laugh a little harder. “What?”

 

“Nothing, just-- you were right.”

 

He grins down at me, wiggling his eyebrows, “I usually am.”

 

Seeing him do this at me, I’m struck by how much more relaxed he is now. It has been a long time since Jacob and I have laughed and joked around. I’ve missed this too. He pulls me out of my thoughts by nudging me with his arm, “What am I right about now?”

 

“We are moving fast. Sitting here right now, there is no doubt in my mind that what you just described will happen sooner rather than later.”

 

The car is silent as he drives along, but when he reaches a stop sign, he turns to me. His kiss is soft, reassuring. When he pulls back he makes sure I’m looking at him before he speaks, “It will happen, but _only_ when you are ready.”

 

He kisses me again before turning back to the road. His lips brush against my hair as I lean against him again and I can just barely make out the words he whispers, “And when Edward is nowhere nearby.”

 

I don’t comment, but I agree completely with him. As much as I love my father, I have a feeling he’s going to make things difficult for Jacob and I. Not wanting to worry about that right now, I settle in, letting my mind wander as Jacob drives past tree after tree on his way to Billy’s.

 

I know I should bring up college, but I don’t want to spoil this moment. There will be time. Right now, I just want to enjoy the remainder of this perfect day.

 

Soon enough, we pull up in front of Billy’s red house and I see a familiar car in the driveway. I don’t wait for Jacob to help me out, instead jumping out of the car as soon as he stops. Grandpa Charlie is at Billy’s front door as soon as I’m out of the car. I leap at him, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek, giggling when the edge of his mustache tickles my cheek.

 

“Hi Grandpa!”

 

“Ness,” he wraps an arm around my waist as Jacob approaches us, a grin on his face. He’s pulled a shirt on. I know it is appropriate for dinner, but somehow, it’s a signal that our time alone is over, at least for now.

 

“Jacob.” Grandpa’s tone sounds stern and I toss him a look, unsure what’s going on. He’s eying Jacob but I don’t understand why until I take a closer look at Jacob’s face. I choke back a giggle when I see he has a smear of pink lip gloss beneath his bottom lip. I have no idea how we didn’t notice it, but “Eagle Eye” Grandpa certainly did.

 

Stepping away from Grandpa I reach for Jacob and tug his arm until he leans toward me. Placing my hand against his face, I press the words into his mind, “You have lip gloss on your bottom lip.” His eyes go wide and he quickly runs his hand below his mouth as we step into the house. Billy is in his wheelchair next to the couch, talking to Sue. A big smile covers Jacob’s father’s face when he looks up to see us in the doorway.

 

“Hey you two!”

 

“Hi Billy,” I grin at him before leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. I give Sue a hug then step back toward Jacob. My wolf places his hand on the small of my back and I jump a little, surprised at the intimate contact. His fingers moving against my back distracts me so much that I don’t realize Billy has said something until I hear Jacob chuckling under his breath.

 

I glance at Billy, an apology on my tongue when Grandpa raises his voice, “What is going on?”

 

My eyes dart over to my grandfather then to Billy, Sue, and finally Jacob. Jacob mouth opens just as I hear Sue speaking. My head whips around to face her. “Need to know, Charlie?”

 

“You’re damn right I need to know why Jacob walked in here with my granddaughter’s lip gloss on his chin and his hands all over her. That is not how a ‘friend’ acts.” Grandpa is standing beside the front door, his arms crossed over his chest like he’s trying to make himself as wide as the door to prevent anyone from leaving.

 

“I imprinted. On Ness.” Jacob’s words are so simple, yet to hear him say it to my grandfather brings tears to my eyes.

 

“Imprinted?” Grandpa rubs his thumb over his chin, his eyes narrowed in thought. He jerks his head up to Billy, “You mentioned that at the bonfire. Something about it being like love at first sight or some malarkey like that. Your boy did that to my granddaughter?”

 

Billy exhales, “Yes, he did. Sorry we kept this from you Charlie.”

 

“Do Edward and Bella know? When did this happen?” Grandpa still looks like he’s fuming on their behalf.

 

Needing to defuse the situation, I step out of Jacob’s arms and move to Grandpa. I give him a brief explanation of what has happened, leaving out the part where Dad forced Jacob not to tell me. Grandpa hasn’t always been Dad’s biggest fan, no need to get him fired up. Or to give him reason to support Dad in his crazy idea of keeping Jacob and I apart.

 

Once I’m finished explaining, Grandpa still doesn’t look happy, but he does relax slightly, dropping his arms. Sue jumps in then, pulling Grandpa over to sit next to her. He still gives Jacob a look when I return to his side, but when Sue pats his knee and gives him a smile, his frown disappears.

 

Jacob’s hand returns to my lower back as we chat idly with Billy, Sue, and Grandpa. Needing to touch Jacob in return, I turn my hand a little, running a finger back and forth across the side of his thigh. I feel him inhale deeply as his hand moves from my back. I almost want to protest but then I feel his fingertips graze the inside of my forearm. _Oh_. Shivering, I blink and look at Sue with a blank stare. I have no idea what she’s just asked me. _How can he distract me so much with just a touch of his fingertips?_

 

She chuckles just as Grandpa clears his throat. She gives me a smile and a wink, “I’m going to get your grandfather out of here.”

 

Grandpa seems to hesitate but somehow Sue convinces him. We hug and wave then she leads him out. Jacob and I have just settled down on the couch when we both hear a car approaching. I don’t have to ask who it is because Billy grins before turning his wheelchair.

 

“That must be Paul and Rachel.”

 

Billy excitedly rolls himself over to the front door and waits on the porch for his daughter and son-in-law to get out of the car. Jacob takes the small bit of privacy and uses it to his advantage. Placing a hand on the side of my neck he runs his fingers through my hair until I look at him. His face is graced with a smile so sweet it makes me sigh. When I bite down on my bottom lip his eyes dart down to it, darkening. _Come on, kiss me_.

 

He growls, clearly getting my message. Unfortunately, the other three come through the door and Jacob drops his hand, putting a bit of space between us. I frown at this move. It’s not as if Paul, Rachel and Billy don’t know. He runs his hand over his face, then to the back of his neck and mutters under his breath as he helps me to stand up. The words are just low enough that I can’t hear but Paul chuckles, unable to hide the smirk on his face. Rachel scurries around her father and husband and pulls me into a hug before I can question Jacob.

 

“Hi Ness! Welcome to your first family dinner,” she’s practically bouncing up and down while she looks at me excitedly.

 

“Rachel,” Jacob shakes his head and scowls at her, “it’s not her first family dinner.”

 

“Well, as your imprintee and girlfriend, it’s her first.”

 

Rachel’s words surprise me. I don’t know if I would label myself as Jacob’s girlfriend. We haven’t really gotten that far with our talking. The idea of him calling me that, of Jacob seeing me as his girlfriend, well it... thrills me, but I don’t want to assume.

 

“Smile Jake! Just think--,” Paul leans over next to Jacob and I can just barely hear what he says as Rachel and Billy chatter next to me, “no more stroking it yourself. She knows now, that’s a good fucking thing.”

 

A rush of heat covers my face. A little because I realize that Paul means Jacob, _my Jake_ , might have touched himself while thinking about me. A jolt of heat that has nothing to do with blushing runs through my body at that thought.

 

The bulk of my blush is because I can’t help but wonder when our relationship will progress to something like that. _Me, touching Jacob that way._ Based on our conversation earlier, it won’t be long. _We really are moving fast here._ As much as I’m aware of this fact now, I somehow can’t seem to care about it. This feels right; being with Jacob is all I’ve ever wanted.

 

Unexpectedly Jacob punches Paul in the arm. Hard. He’s staring him down, growling low. The sound does things to me; sending a rush of blood through my body, all of it aimed at for the area between my legs.

 

When Jacob’s eyes flicker over to me he looks a little guilty, or maybe unsure. _I’m not sure which._ I drop my eyes and glance over at Rachel who has a smirk on her face. _How embarrassing._ They are close to having a conversation about my sexual relationship with Jacob while Billy sits nearby. _Might as well call Dad and Grandpa Charlie over to join in._ I cringe at that idea.

 

“Let’s go eat!” Billy breaks the tension as he wheels his chair around, making his way to the kitchen. Rachel grabs Paul and tugs him along, insisting she’s starving now that she’s eating for three.

 

Awkwardly I look everywhere but at Jacob until he steps close to me, taking my chin in his hand. He leans close and I hold my breath until he kisses the tip of my nose. My eyes slip shut and I’m surprised when I feel his forehead rest against mine. Jacob’s hands move to my waist, holding me close but not close enough that our bodies are touching. I can’t help the little frown that moves across my face.

 

“We’ll talk about this later,” he mutters and I nod. “I’m starving,” he says in a gruff voice. Opening my eyes to look at him I see something different in his dark gaze. It’s almost the look he gives me when we kiss but I don’t know what _that_ would have to do with food.

 

One of his large hands reaches down to clasp mine, his thumb running back and forth across my skin as he tugs me to the kitchen.

 

The conversation during dinner doesn’t stop but thankfully, no one brings up anything embarrassing about Jacob and I. I do notice that Jacob gives Paul a look every time he begins to speak. _Warning him of what he should and shouldn’t say, perhaps?_ It’s weird to see Jacob in his Alpha role but I have no doubt that’s what I’d witnessed earlier when he growled at Paul. Unfortunately for Jacob, he isn’t Paul’s Alpha, so he can’t command him to stop. I’m pretty sure Paul is taking advantage of this fact. As his brother-in-law I don’t doubt he loves yanking Jacob’s chain. It doesn’t escape my notice that he sat as far away from Jacob as he could at the tiny table.

 

As dinner wraps up, Rachel mentions she recently dropped off some tools Paul had borrowed from Jacob. “I put them in your room, Jake. Looks like a lot of your stuff is gone.”

 

“Oh, um yeah, I’ve just been cleaning some stuff out. You know, things I don’t need anymore.” I look at Jacob curiously as he speaks. I’ve seen his room more times than I can count. It was never cluttered with unneeded things. When his eyes shift around but don’t meet mine I watch him with a bit of uncertainty.

 

Rachel keeps going, pushing for an explanation and I have to admit, I’m grateful to her for that. Now that she’s brought it up, I am curious myself. “You know, when Embry cleaned out his old room, that’s when he moved in with Lillah.”

 

_Was Jacob moving? I don’t really know where he’d go if--_

 

“You moving into the cottage with Ness and her parents, Jake?” Paul guffaws from the other side of Rachel.

 

I can’t help but giggle at the image that puts in my head. My father and Jacob living under one roof together. Dad would never leave the house without me having a chaperon there. Someone to watch every move Jacob and I made. That sounds less than fun to me; I can tell by the look on Jacob’s face that he feels the same way. I would eventually like to make out with him and not have to worry about someone hearing us and walking, or barging, in.

 

“Definitely not. No living with a vampire that is not my biggest fan at the moment. The only way he’d let me stay there was if he could cut my dick off first. I’d like to keep it, I’ve kind of grown attached to it and I _do_ use it, after all.”

 

As soon as Jacob’s words sink in I bite the tip of my tongue, trying to hold in the little squeak of embarrassed laughter. I feel the glowing heat on my skin as my mind starts racing. _He uses “it”. Of course he does, silly. He was talking about-- the restroom and what-not_.

 

“Why would he try to take it off, Jakey?” Paul is smirking when I look over. “Oh, wait. Unless you were thinking to use it on--”

 

A loud smack echoes around the room and I try to look everywhere but at the faces across the table. _Wait. What?_ I blink a few times, trying to clear my head. Glancing over at Jacob I see his face is furious. His eyes are dark with a rage I’ve never seen before and it’s all focused on his brother-in-law. _Oh. My. God_.

 

Shaking my head I drop my face a little then throw a glance at Rachel. She looks like she’s going to burst with laughter and that’s when I know for sure where Paul was headed before he was cut off.

 

Sex. _Between Jake and I._ Obviously.

 

Jacob kissing me. Jacob naked. Me naked. With Jacob. His hands all over me. Those lips moving along my skin. Everywhere.

 

My entire body flushes, but not because of the conversation. _In arousal? Yes_. That would be what that sensation is. It’s not a foreign feeling for me but it’s definitely a private matter. I’m not even comfortable talking about these things with Jacob. _Not yet at least._ The last thing I want is for any of Jacob’s family members to realize what I’m feeling in this moment. Dropping my head a little lower I let my hair fall around my face, hiding the blush on my cheeks while I push food around my plate.

 

“I don’t think this is appropriate dinner conversation.” Billy’s voice is stern and I jump. Hearing him speak makes this whole thing even more mortifying. I like Billy and I hope he feels the same way; after tonight, that might not be the case. If only the floor would open up and swallow me whole. Before anyone else can say anything Jacob pushes away from the table, jarring the surface as he stands and shoves his chair back. Nobody speaks as he marches out of the room and through the house. I jump again when the front door opens then slams.

 

Billy clearing his throat jerks me into action and I stand to go after Jacob. I don’t speak to anyone before walking out. Seeing him as soon as I step outside I pause and watch. He is stalking back and forth across the yard, his body moving in a beautiful pattern of rolling shoulders and bunching muscles. His hands are clenched into fists, arms hanging at his side. A low rumbling growl is coming from his chest and I’m once again surprised by the things it does to me. Hearing it sends a shiver of excitement up my spine. I’m attracted to the fierceness radiating from him. _Holy cow._

 

“Ja--,” I stop and clear my throat before continuing, “Jake?” When he whirls around to look at me, he looks...indescribable. He holds his hand up and turns to continue pacing back and forth. So I wait.

 

And wait.

 

I sit down on the porch steps and watch him, not wanting to interrupt whatever thoughts he’s having. Watching the movements of his body I know he’s trying to work the anger out of his system before he talks to me. He’s furious with Paul, that much is obvious.

 

Suddenly Jacob whirls around to face me but I still don’t say anything. I want him to speak first, mostly because I really don’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, Ness. He shouldn’t have said those things in front of you.”

 

“Jake, there’s no need for you to apologize to me. I--”

 

“Ness. Please, let me finish.”

 

“Ok,” I nod my head and wait for him to go on.

 

“It was disrespectful and you deserve so much more than that. Them talking about-- me and, sex and-- just,” he shakes his head and I watch as he balls his hands into fists again.

 

I reach my hand out. My intent is to touch Jake’s face, ease him, but I hesitate a little, unsure. Instead I touch his arm, “Jake, really, I’m ok. Let’s talk about this later. Right now we’ll just spend time with your family.”

 

“Ness--.”

 

“Jake. Just calm down, it’s fine. I’m fine.” I run my hand down his arm and grab his hand, twisting our fingers together. Tugging his hand gently I wrap an arm around his waist and place my face against his thumping heart. He sighs deeply and his body slowly begins to relax against mine. I love knowing that having me close relaxes him. It’s always been this way with us but I never knew the real reason why.

 

“Ok, let’s go back in. The sooner we finish this thing, the faster we can get out of here. Just don’t let me punch Paul in the face. Deal?”

 

His chest rumbles against me and I don’t want to pull away at first. I reluctantly let him go and kind of laugh when I look up at him. “Deal.”

 

The rest of the evening is less eventful and we don’t stay much longer. Paul is on his best behavior and I notice Rachel is eyeing him in annoyance. I bet he’s going to get an earful when they get home. Rachel looks at me and scrunches her face a little. I know she’s trying to apologize for what was said. I just shrug and throw a look between Paul and Jacob, who refuse to look at one another. Probably Paul doesn’t want to risk pissing Jacob off again and Jacob just doesn’t want to look at Paul because he’s still angry. _Boys._

 

Jacob is quiet as we climb into the car so I don’t speak either, figuring he’s just trying to decide what to say. It’s not until we are clear of the little red house that he finally speaks. “What Paul said, about me and my--,” he grips the steering wheel tight.

 

“Penis?” I say, the word coming out as a squeak. I can’t believe I just said that, although it’s the clinical term, in front of Jacob. He jumps like he’s been shocked and his head jerks around to me.

 

He nods and continues, “When I said that about using it--”

 

“No, I mean, you um-- that part of your anatomy isn’t only for sex, Jake.” _Mortified._ That is the only way to describe what I’m feeling right now. I can’t believe we are actually having this conversation about his-- parts.

 

“Right. No, it isn’t, but he was implying-- about me and you. You know, eventually doing-- that. I know we talked about it earlier, but I need you to know I don’t expect it.”

 

My mouth falls open a little and I give him a look of exasperation. If I’m going to be honest I might as well get it all out in the open. Gathering up all my courage, I respond, “Well I expect it. Not today, but eventually. I want to be that close with you. I think you should expect it too.”

 

Pursing my lips I watch the wide eyed stare Jacob has on his face when my words register. I want to laugh at the look of shock on his face. _Wasn’t expecting that, huh Jake?_ Now that I know I can be with Jacob, I feel a need to stop hiding what I want.

 

Jacob stops the car in the middle of the road. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he replies. “You really want to have sex with me?” His voice is low and rumbling and it does incredible things to me.

 

“Why would you think I wouldn’t want to? Besides, I thought we already covered this?” Huffing, I decide to go all in, explain a few things to him that I haven’t shared before. “I mean, not today, but yes, I want to be with you Jacob. I don’t know if it’s imprinting or me being a hybrid but I feel like all of my senses are heightened when I’m around you. Things are so much more intense than I ever expected them to be. When you touch me my brain turns off. Plus, you’re my Jake, my wolf.” Mmm _my_ wolf. _All mine_.

 

“I’ve wanted more than friendship for a while now, Jake. You are my best friend and I won’t ever want that to change. But I also want-- to be yours. Completely. In every sense of the word. I want to be with you always.” There. All of my cards are on the table.

 

“Shit.” His chest is rising and falling rapidly, he turns back to face the steering wheel, his hands going back up to clutch at it. He doesn’t look at me as he gets the car moving again. He clears his throat several times and I watch in fascination as his adams apple moves up and down quickly. _Maybe I went too far?_

 

“Ness, you shouldn’t say things like that to me. Not when I’m trying my damnedest to be respectful.”

 

My throat burns with dryness when I finally speak again. “You think wanting to be with me is disrespectful? I-- does that mean _you_ think about that too?”

 

He is silent for so long that I think he’s not going to answer me at all. He pulls off the road and I can see we are near the beach. When he finally speaks, he sounds strained. “I can’t stand the idea of anyone disrespecting you, Ness, including me. I would--,” he stops and shakes his head, “I’m not sure I could control myself if someone went too far-- if _I_ went too far. You have no idea how protective we can be with our imprints.”

 

“But that doesn’t answer my question, does it?”

 

He sighs, but still won’t look at me. “No, I guess not. It’s just weird to be having this conversation with you: I’m not prepared. We are moving so fast right now. Last night I wasn’t sure that we would ever be anything other than friends; I didn’t even know if I would ever get the chance to tell you about being my imprint. That was my biggest fear ever since I made the deal with Edward.”

 

“Ok, and now that I know?” I ask, silently begging him to look at me.

 

“Surely you noticed how hard it was for me to keep my hands and lips away from you earlier?”

 

“Mmm,” I hum and try to hold back the grin on my face, “I sort of noticed something like that. One can never be too sure though. I didn’t want to assume anything.”

 

I pause, taking a deep breath before speaking again, “So, to clarify, I want to have sex with you and you want to have sex with me. Eventually.”

 

Jacob is out of the car so fast I don’t know he’s left until I hear the door slamming shut. I jump out after him, running to catch up with him. He’s pacing again, but this time he speaks clearly.

 

“Fuck. Ness, I-- you can’t say that shit to me right now,” he states again. His voice is rough and I feel my body reacting to him. I don’t know what it is about that tone but it sends my body into epic chaos.

 

“Sorry,” I try to make my voice sound apologetic but I know I’m not successful by the way his jaw ticks. I try to remain quiet but I just can’t help myself. Now that he’s opened this topic up I can’t help but want to discuss it more. I need to know it all. It’s in my nature to be curious, to want to learn. I get that from my entire family.

 

Jacob actually looks sheepish as he turns to glance over at me. His mouth works to form words before he actually speaks. “No, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. Please don’t feel like you can’t talk to me about these things. I’m just having a hard time adjusting. It’s just the things coming out of your mouth. They’re--,”  he stops again and exhales.

 

I push on. “Ok, but we will talk about this more, soon?”

 

Jacob finally stops pacing and moves closer to me, grabbing my hands in his, “Yes, Ness. When it’s the right time, we’ll talk about everything. I’ll never keep things from you again, I promise you that. My life will be an open book. Open only to you, of course.”

 

I can feel my face break out into a huge grin, “I do like the sound of that.” As he pulls me into his arms, I’m struck with a disappointing thought: I really hope Dad won’t be difficult about letting me spend time with Jacob.

 

A growl rattles Jacob’s chest and I know without asking that I shared that thought with him. I love both my father and Jacob, but they are both struggling with all of these new revelations. Dad doesn’t want to let go of what he feels he should be controlling. And from what I know of imprinting, Jacob will not be willing to spend less time with me, especially now. Plus, I can’t imagine not being around him.

 

I need him.

 

Wanting to distract us both from the worry over my father, I lead him back to the car. Once we are settled back into the safe cocoon of the Rabbit, I turn on the radio. Jacob reaches over and takes my hand in his and I thread our fingers together. The song playing is soft and slow, with a whimsical tone to it. It relaxes me completely and I hum along with it as I lean against Jacob’s warm chest. His steady heartbeat is so relaxing I feel my eyelids starting to close until I hear the deep rumble of his voice.

 

“Thank you for going to dinner with me.”

 

I lift my head to look at him curiously. His face is serious and thoughtful. “Why would you thank me for that? I enjoy your family.”

 

“Even Paul?”

 

I laugh at that and Jacob cringes. “Yes, him too. You know they just love you and want to see you happy, right?”

 

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighs before lifting a hand to twirl my hair between his fingers.

 

“They do. I also know Paul likes to tease you. To get a reaction out of you by saying certain things. It’s just his way of showing he cares.” Jacob snorts and shakes his head, as if he doesn’t believe me. “It’s true. You guys are all so close that you really are like brothers. A little bit of teasing goes along with that.”

 

My Jacob doesn’t say anything at first and I think he’s lost in thought. When he speaks there is a hint of humor in his voice, “Paul is so perfect for my sister. I think imprinting paired all of us perfectly.”

 

“Yeah?” I ask with a grin.

 

He turns his head to look at me while he pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my skin. “Yeah, I think I got the best one though.”

 

“I don’t know. Lillah is pretty incredible, Embry got lucky there.” I giggle and Jacob wrinkles his nose in thought.

 

“I guess you might be right. We all got lucky.”

 

I know the word “we” is meaning the other shape shifters but I twist his words. “Yes, _we_ did.”

 

He squeezes my hand in his and his eyes sparkle with joy when he comprehends my words. It is very true. We all did get lucky. The guys have been given such amazing women in their imprints. The same goes for the girls and their wolves. They would do anything for each other. 

 

It fills my heart with joy to know that I am one of the lucky ones now. I never thought I would have that. I am amazed and so very thankful now that I do.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** The end. KIDDING! Don’t worry, there’s still more to come. Don’t forget to click that little review button. See you in two weeks!


	10. Happy Like a Fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SM owns the sandbox and the sand, we are just playing in it with our own toys.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Welcome back! Jake is a happy boy, be prepared to smile through most of this chapter. You’ve been warned.

 

** Chapter 10 “Happy Like A Fool” **

 

_When you're happy like a fool_

_Let it take you over_

_When everything is out_

_You gotta take it in_

 

_Oh this has gotta be the good life_

_This has gotta be the good life_

_This could really be a good life, good life_

“Good Life” - OneRepublic

 

** JPOV **

 

-0-

 

I am fascinated by how Ness’ mind works. This isn’t a new thing for me, but now that she knows about the imprinting, I can now fully appreciate her. I don’t have to worry about hiding the fact that everything about her amazes me, including her lightning fast mind. It quickly jumps from one subject to another. Sometimes from serious to playful, other times, it’s the opposite. Ness is the smartest person I know; I might be a little biased, but I think she’s even smarter than her multiple-degree-holding father and grandfather. She is insightful, caring and beautiful; she blows my mind every damn day. _I’m one lucky bastard._

 

My focus on her is an attempt to calm down; my nerves are still on edge after the dinner with my family. My girl handled it well, not that I had any doubts about that, but I didn’t like the things Paul said in front of her. I really wanted to pummel him. Some days I wonder how Rachel puts up with him. Then I remember that she’s just as mouthy as Paul. I love my sister but man does she drive me fucking crazy sometimes. Tonight was definitely one of those times.

 

I glance down at Ness’ hand in mine. Hers are so pale and slender compared to my own. I’ve missed touching her this way, even in all the innocence it holds. There is nothing sexual about holding her hand but it’s so electrifying to be able to do so again without hesitation. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest; I no longer have to hold myself back around her.

 

Glancing out at the ocean in front of us I listen to the soft sound of Ness humming. Something in me says she’s tired and needs to go home, but I’m selfish. I don’t want to give up this time with her and I know when I take her home I won’t be able to stay. Based on what she told me, Edward would “prefer” I not stay with her. I get it, but it’s going to be very difficult for me to let her go. Especially now that I’ve had her in my arms two nights in a row.

 

Wanting to make sure Ness has a say in things, I whisper softly, “Do you still want to work on your car tonight, or should I take you home?” While we normally work on the Mustang on Sunday evenings, this weekend has been a lot for both of us. I can tell she’s worn out, but I can’t help grinning when I hear her response.

 

“Mustang, definitely. I’m not ready to go home just yet.”

 

I start my car without hesitation and point it toward the shop. She has been helping me make pretty steady progress on the Mustang for almost a year now. I bought it on a whim after Embry told me about Lillah and her father rebuilding Lillah’s Camaro together.

 

When I showed Ness the Mustang all those months ago, she seemed excited. Apparently it’s a hobby she picked up from Rosalie, who taught her a lot about cars. As far as I can tell Ness has enjoyed herself, and I’ve definitely enjoyed getting to spend the time with her. Most of the time she sits and talks to me but others she gets her hands dirty too. There have been a few times we’ve been so busy at the shop that Ness has pitched in and helped me with an oil change or two.

 

I grin at the picture that puts in my mind. She always wears a pair of coveralls and they swallow her tiny body whole. I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her when she has them on. As if she can read my mind, the first thing she does when we enter the shop is pull on a pair. When she turns to face me, she smiles expectantly. All I can do is stare like a big idiot; I just can’t help myself. Because, I am a big idiot, but also because she’s breathtaking.

 

My girl bounces over to me and takes my hand, swinging it back and forth. “What are we working on tonight?”

 

“Um,” I scratch the back of my head and look over my shoulder at the car, “I don’t know,  carburetor, maybe.”

 

“Ok! Just tell me what you would like me to do.”

 

I clear my throat and drop her hand to walk toward the Mustang. “That’s a bit of a loaded question,” I say without thinking.

 

Based on her giggle, she obviously heard me. _Damn_. Glancing over my shoulder I see her grin at me then bite down on her bottom lip. I take a deep breath and turn back to the car, lifting the hood to get to work.

 

Leaning against her elbows onto the side of the fender she props her chin in her hands, just watching as I start to remove parts. We keep a radio in the shop and Ness starts humming to the song that is softly playing. I ask her to hand me tools when I need them but other than that we don’t speak. To my surprise, the silence isn’t awkward; the wall she had been putting up to keep me out is nowhere in sight. She is relaxed, finally able to be herself again.

 

Glancing up to ask her to hand me something I’m startled to realize she’s gone. “Ness?” I call her name and look around, spotting her behind me. She’s sitting on a bench and smiling. It’s odd; I’m not sure what she’s up to. “What are you doing?”

 

“Just watching you. You look so intense when you’re working on something. It’s kind of-- hot.” Her face glows red as she speaks.

 

My spine snaps straight and I look away from her quickly. Unable to keep my eyes off of her for more than a second, I quickly shift my gaze back. “What did you do with my Ness?”, I laugh, shaking my head at the drastic change in my imprint.

 

Her brows scrunch together and she looks confused, “What do you mean? I am the same Ness I’ve always been.”

 

Turning her words over and over in my head I consider how to answer her. “You are the same, but you are different too. You’re far more open to telling me your feelings and thoughts.”

 

“I thought that was the point of not keeping secrets, telling each other everything.”

 

“It is, but this new openness is the exact opposite of how you’ve been acting lately. You use to tell me everything, but as I started pulling back I could feel you becoming more reserved.”

 

Her head drops down to look at her hands. When she looks back up her cheeks are bright pink, “I couldn’t exactly tell you that I liked you.”

 

It’s silly, but hearing her say that just makes me so fucking proud. The grin on my face is huge as I lean back against the car. “You like me?”

 

“I guess I kind of have to, since you went and imprinted on me.” Her smile is blinding, it illuminates her entire face. I’m so lost in her beauty I don’t hear what she says next.

 

“Jake?”

 

“Yeah?” I close my eyes, trying to regain focus. “Sorry, what did you say?”

 

She gives me a soft smile, “I said, that still doesn’t explain why you think I’m a different person.”

 

I run my hand along the back of my neck, trying to figure out what to say, how to explain the difference to her. I have no fucking clue other than I’m not sure what she’s going to say or do next. “You’re just different. It’s not _bad_ different though. You’re surprising me by the things you say and do. How about helping a poor human out? Give me some warning before you say things like how you think I’m-- hot.” I can’t help shaking my head at the absurdity of this conversation. 

 

She throws her head back and laughs at my request. “I could probably do that,” she says, walking toward me. Instead of coming to me, she returns to her spot against the fender and begins fiddling under the hood of the car. Now it’s my turn to appreciate the view in front of me.

 

I should really have my ass kicked for checking her out but I can’t help myself. Ness has subtle curves but they are well hidden under the coveralls she’s wearing. Her hair is pulled back in a low ponytail but there are strands hanging around her face as she looks down into the area the carburetor is housed. My eyes drift down her back and I run my hand over my face as I glance away from her ass.

 

 _This is going to be harder than I thought._ My rock hard cock pushing against the fly of my jeans makes me almost laugh at the double meaning of my own thought. My dick might not have a problem with me checking her out, but there’s still a part of me that keeps thinking my desire for her is wrong. I know it isn’t but years of keeping myself in the ‘friends’ frame of mind is hard to break. The only way to move past that is to start acting on the urges I’ve pushed away for so long. I guess our earlier kisses are going to help out with that.

 

Forcing myself to move, I step behind her, placing my hands on her hips. She doesn’t hesitate, straightening up to lean back against my chest. Her immediate response relaxes me and I wrap my arms around her. We stand there until she begins to sway slowly back and forth in time to the music, her ass just barely brushing against my cock. I place a kiss on the side of her neck.

 

When I pull my mouth back from her sweet skin, she spins to face me, her arms lacing around my neck. We stand there looking at one another, both of us smiling like a pair of lovesick fools. And I know I am, love sick, that is, I just haven’t told her yet.

 

There is a hint of laughter in her voice when she speaks. “I’m going to want you to kiss me now, and I’ll most likely say something that might shock your genteel sensibilities.”

 

A thrill runs through my body when I realize I can prove her wrong; by showing her. Without a word I lower my face to hers, my nose brushes against hers before I start peppering light kisses along her cheek, making my way to her lips. I slide my mouth softly against hers then suck her top lip into my mouth. She moves closer to me, pulling our bodies together tightly.

 

Her taking the lead, pulling us together is just another sign of the changes in her. That tinge of weirdness pops into my mind; not so much about kissing her, but the intimacy of this moment. I’m kissing my best friend, but she is so much more than just my best friend. She’s the woman I am meant to be with for as long as we both exist. She is my other half. _Maybe it isn’t just Ness that has changed._

 

I’m pulled from my thoughts by the slight pressure of her lips against mine. She tastes sweet from the lip gloss she wears. I’m so glad she doesn’t wear that other sticky shit on her pouty mouth. I would still kiss her, but she is so beautiful; she doesn’t need all of that extra stuff.

 

My hands move from her hips to cradle her face and I slowly end the kiss. “You’re trying to make me lose my mind, aren’t you? Have you been talking to the other girls or something?”

 

“What?” she laughs and I watch her tongue move across her lips nervously. “No! I’ve been with you all day, remember?” She sighs softly, “I can’t help that I want to kiss you every second I’m with you. You’re intoxicating, Jacob.”

 

I grin at her, tucking a loose curl behind her ear, “Intoxicating, huh? I don’t think I’ve ever been described that way.”

 

“Well, get use to it, I’m going to describe you in lots of other ways in the future.” Her grin is sassy and that tells me more than anything how very happy she is.  Seeing her this like this fills my heart with joy.

 

“Are you? Can I have a teaser?”

 

My imprint looks thoughtful before speaking again. “I suppose you can have a teaser.” Standing on her tip toes so she’s closer to my face she begins, “You are deliciously handsome.”

 

I grin at her and she nods her head, like I argued with her or something. Like I _could_ argue with her; she has me wrapped around her finger. Always has. “Also, you taste delectable.”

 

That one has me a little more alert. _Did she just say I_ taste _delectable?_

 

“You’re all spicy and sweet. I love the taste of your lips, I can’t imagine what the rest of you tastes like.”

 

 

_Shit._

 

_Fuck me._

 

I’m quickly losing my ability to keep control of this situation. Visions of her mouth on my neck, moving down my chest, my stomach, and continuing lower. _There goes my dick._ I step back a little, separating my hips from hers before she has the chance to notice what’s going on.

 

 _Taking it slow, we want to take things slow._ As much as I want to go further I know in my soul it isn’t right. We don’t have to rush toward sex; we have all the time in the world to move in that direction and I want to take it slow. I want to woo her and hope that she falls _in love_ with me. I don’t even care if that makes me sound like a pussy. The need for her to feel as deeply for me as I do for her is too strong to care about my position as the Alpha male.

 

Ness steps with me, not letting me get too far. “Too much?” she asks in concern.

 

“Um, just, intense. Visions of you and your mouth and--,” I shake my head and clear my throat, refusing to continue because that certainly won’t help my current situation at all. I need to derail this topic of conversation. “Let’s get back to work on the ‘Stang.”

 

I don’t miss the flash of disappointment on Ness’ face as I step toward the car and get back to work. She doesn’t seem too upset because she does stay next to me, helping me for the next hour until I realize it’s late. I need to get her home. The last thing I want is to piss off her parents so they start giving her curfews and shit.

 

-0-

 

Frowning, I look at the big white house as I pull up the driveway. I’m not ready to drop her off yet. I’m hopeful I can at least get a goodbye hug in before Edward pulls the “Dad” card and makes me leave. I’m going to do my best to be nice to him when we get to the cottage, avoid getting into a brawl. I’d give anything to hold Ness in my arms as she sleeps tonight, but I need to keep the peace with Edward so I can continue to spend more time with my girl. Having this day with her has completely changed my world. An hour here or there isn’t enough. I need to be with her as much as possible.

 

“You wanna go see Lillah and Hallie tomorrow morning? I don’t have to be at the shop until late, to take over for Seth.” I won’t even deny that when I say his name I growl a little. Ness smirks when she hears it. _What the fuck ever._ I’m not going to try to act like I’m not jealous of their friendship.

 

Squeezing my hand a little she tugs it toward her lap. “Yes, of course! I would have liked to have visited her longer before, but I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.”

 

We’re now parked in front of the cottage but neither of us makes a move to exit the car. I think she is just as reluctant to face her parents as I am.

 

“You could never overstay your welcome, Tathut. Lillah loves you and I’m sure she’d be happy for the company. I bet Embry freaks every time she or the baby sneezes.” I grin over at her and she has a funny look on her face. When I lift my eyebrow in question, she shakes her head and smiles.

 

“Yes, you’re probably right. Do you think he’ll calm down now that the baby is here?”

 

“Um,” I give her a look that asks if she’s serious right now, “I think he’ll be even worse.”

 

Her blooming smile and giggle make my chest ache. “I tend to agree with that assessment.”

 

“I like Lillah,” I tell her in a grave tone, “I hope he doesn’t drive her insane with his hovering.”

 

Ness shakes her head “Aw, Jake, he loves her. There is nothing wrong with him worrying about his wife and baby girl.”

 

I nod my head in understanding as we exit the car. When Embry first imprinted, it was hard on him, wondering if he could really allow himself to be happy with someone. He had no family to speak of, after losing his mother to cancer. It wasn’t until recently he found out who his father really was. Of course, that revelation meant he also found out he has a brother, Sam. I’m happy for him, having found his half brother and now, a wife and new baby. I know without a doubt that Ness’ words are true. Embry loves his family with every part of his being.

 

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her I feel the same way about her when we approach the front door of the cottage. I push that thought aside as I realize my time with her is quickly coming to an end.

 

Ness bounces over a few large rocks that are embedded in the ground, like stepping stones. I watch how quick and light she is on her feet as she spins in a circle, her arms above her head. She’s beautiful, with her wild curls swirling around her torso and a giggle on her lips. When she twirls around to face me her hands move to her hips and she grins at me.

 

“You are so beautiful,” I say quietly and shake my head in amazement. It’s not the first time I’ve noticed, but it’s the first time I’ve said it since everything came out. The way her face lights up makes me want to say it to her every second of every day. Her body bounds back toward me and leaps. I wrap my arms around her waist, easily catching her when she slams into me.

 

Her lips move against my neck, her words muffled. They sound something like, “Thank you my Jake,” but I’m not sure if that’s what she actually said. I inhale the sweet scent of her hair, allowing my free hand to play with the ends of it.

 

“Go on a date with me.” I blurt the words out without thinking about them. I hadn’t intended on doing anything like that just yet. With a sharp intake she lifts her head so she can see my face. Her head bobs up and down before she wraps her arms around my neck again.

 

I don’t know how long I stand there just hugging her before she drops to her feet. She looks up at me and I place my fingertips on her smooth, pale cheek. As my eyes watch the movement of my skin on hers I don’t realize someone is approaching until a throat clears.

 

Pushing Ness behind my back I turn quickly, looking for the person that has intruded on our privacy.

 

“Dad.”

 

“Edward.”

 

“Jacob. Ness. What are you doing out here?” His amber colored eyes dart back and forth between Ness and I as she steps from behind me. Edward doesn’t look at her too long though. He’s more interested in glaring at me. I almost wonder if the look on his face is pain. _Because I pushed Ness back to protect her?_

 

“I was just dropping Ness off. She joined me at a family dinner then we worked on the Mustang together.”

 

He continues to stare at me, then a smirk turns up the side of his mouth. “Congratulations to your family.”

 

I relax a little and grin, thinking about my sister’s news. I’ve become so accustomed to thinking of other things when I’m around Edward that I didn’t realize that would be what he’d get out of me. “Thanks Edward, I’ll be sure to pass that on to Rachel and Paul.”

 

He nods his head then looks at Ness once more, “Your mother and I would like to send a gift to Lillah from the family, if that would be acceptable to Embry.”

 

Ness steps around me to face her father. I can feel the tension in her body and I know she is still upset with him. “As long as it’s nothing too outrageous, I’m sure they would be pleased with a gift for Hallie.”

 

Edward nods and looks around awkwardly. She told me that she left things on good terms with her parents, but it looks like things are still tense between them. I’m almost tempted to take pity on the man; it is partly my fault that they are at odds. When Edward eyes me again I decide I don’t feel so bad for him. Shoving my hands in my pockets I stand and wait quietly.

 

“I guess Bella will talk to you about something for the baby then, Renesmee.”

 

Ness nods before leaning into my side. The way Edward tenses, I know he hates seeing her this close to me. _Well too damn bad_. I grin when he growls and shoots me a glare. Ness’ hand touches my forearm and I have to bite the inside of my lip to stop the smirk from showing on my face. She’s sending me ‘messages’. Flashes of us kissing, mostly. I have to think of everything but what she’s showing me to keep Edward from reading my mind.

 

I glance down at her and she’s grinning. She knows what she’s doing. _Sneaky little half vampire._ She’s determined to get me into trouble. If I didn’t know better I’d guess she wants her father to see-- I shake my head and look away from Ness before my mind begins to wander. Things will be a lot easier for both of us if we don’t let him see how quickly we are moving in our relationship. The last thing we need is for him to find out about the kissing. Not to mention our conversation in the car. That one still throws _me_ for a loop.

 

Abruptly Edward’s head jerks around. He’s looking toward the cottage. I’m guessing Bella is inside and probably pushing her thoughts at him. It’s crazy how she can do that now. Just like the way she pretty much shields Ness twenty-four seven. Thank goodness she’s mastered that part of her gift. No doubt Ness feels the same way. She’s not into sharing her thoughts unless she _wants_ to; not even with me.

 

Given the developments of today though, it seems she’s changing her mind on sharing with me, which is very exciting.

 

“I’m going to head inside. Don’t stay outside too late, Renesmee. Since you and Jacob have been together all day, I think it best he not stay tonight, a night apart won’t kill you.”

 

Edward doesn’t give Ness the chance to say anything before he walks away and disappears into the cottage. As her father passes me he gives me a frown and a side-eye glare. I just shrug when Ness looks at me questioningly. I have learned to ignore his moods over the years.

 

We are both quiet as we watch him make his way toward the cottage. Ness breaks our silence first.

 

“You want to go on a date with me?” Her voice sounds surprised, though I don’t know why, given what she now knows. I nod my head and watch her closely. Even though I think she agreed before, she never actually said yes. I wait to see if she will accept my offer or turn me down. _Surely she won’t, will she_?

 

I hadn’t thought about that possibility and I honestly start to panic a little as I watch her face screw up into a thoughtful expression. When her mouth spreads into a bright smile I begin to relax a little bit. Her giggle washes over me and erases the rest of my uncertainties. Pressing her hand to my cheek, she speaks softly into my mind, “I would love to go on a date with you. Our first real date.”

 

I can’t help chuckling; we’ve gone about this thing a little backwards, first kiss _then_ first date, but I don’t care. Neither Ness nor I are what you’d call “normal” anyway.

 

I reach a hand out to her, pulling her toward me but being cautious knowing her father is lurking nearby. “I’ll start making plans and will let you know when to be ready.” I tell her in a low voice as she wraps her arms around my torso. Hugging her closely I rest my chin on top of her head. She smells so good, so sweet. “I should let you get inside.”

 

Her voice is barely a whisper when she speaks, “I don’t want to.”

 

“I don’t want you to, either, but we should respect your father’s wishes,” I remind her, even though leaving is the last thing I really want to do. I’d stay huddled outside the cottage all night if I could get away with it. I would be even happier if I could sleep outside her bedroom door. _I am a stalker now._ Unfortunately, the last thing I want or need to do is piss off Edward even more. Things are tense enough as it is and I don’t like Ness being upset or at odds with her dad. _Even if he is an overprotective asshole._

 

I start to pull away and the scruff on my chin gets tangled in a few strands of Ness’ coppery hair. Placing my hands on each side of her face I brush her hair down and back out of her face to look down at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” she asks on a whisper.

 

“Of course.” As if I could ever tell her ‘no’. Not really, anyway. I’m weak when it comes to Renesmee Cullen. “Thank you for spending the day with me, Ness.”

 

She smiles sweetly and I place a kiss on her forehead before reluctantly dropping my hands. When she frowns at me I give her a look of confusion, waiting for her to tell me what she is unhappy about. “What?”

 

When she begins to nibble on her bottom lip a little, her eyes darting to my mouth, I realize what she’s thinking about. “Ness, we can’t kiss on your parent’s doorstep,” I whisper while leaning as close to her as possible. I have high hopes that Bella is distracting Edward inside but I can’t be sure. I definitely don’t need him listening in as I kiss his daughter, especially given how quickly things get out of control when our lips meet. Like I told Paul, I want to keep all of my body parts and appendages. I’m kind of partial to them.

 

As soon as she realizes I’m right she nods her head and hugs me once more before backing up a step. “Call me tomorrow?” I don’t know why she looks so nervous when she says this. Of course I’m going to call her. Probably sooner than tomorrow. I can’t handle any more separation,  especially with the whole her going away to school thing still lingering. We haven’t gotten around to talking about that yet, I realize.

 

“You’ll hear from me, I promise. Ness, you are never getting rid of me.” Her smile is blinding when it moves from her lips to her beautiful brown eyes. “Behave yourself, don’t piss off your dad any further,” I grin and wink at her, my hands curling and opening repeatedly as they hang at my sides. I really should go but I am desperate to stay. Instead of standing there and staring at her I pull her into one more tight hug, kissing the top of her head softly and whispering into her hair, “Good night.”

 

Backing away I climb into my car, keeping my eyes on where she stands, watching me watch her. My eyes flicker up to the rear view mirror more times than they are on the driveway as I drive out. I look back until I can’t see her any more. Maybe I should feel lame about my sappiness, but I don’t care. The entire way home I play our day over and over in my head. I love her so much it makes my heart do crazy things.

 

Dad’s truck is in the driveway when I get home. I’m surprised to see it there. Even more surprised that he’s sitting in the empty living room with the TV blasting. He’s staring intently at the screen, acting like he’s not here checking up on me. It’s like I’m still a teenager, but he didn’t even do this then. He must be worried about something for him to come over this late at night. “Dad?”

 

“Jake, listen, about what happened at dinner--”

 

“Please don’t, Dad. I don’t want to talk about it.” I give him my best smile, “It’s fine. Nothing for you to worry about.”

 

Dad shakes his head, “Paul--.”

 

“Is an asshole,” I finish for him. “I get it. I’ll talk with him tomorrow. Go home, get some sleep.”

 

“Fine.” He gives me a smile, “How was the first day of officially having an imprint?”

 

I don’t hesitate in my response, “Absolutely amazing.”

 

He grins at me, “Good to hear, son.”

 

“Now get out of my house, old man. I’m going to crash. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

I help him into his truck then aim for my room, yanking my shirt off and discarding it as I fall on the bed. After being cramped in Ness’ double bed for the past two nights, stretching out on the new king size mattress feels odd. Even though she’s never seen it, this bed feels empty without her here.

 

Running a hand over my face I catch the faint smell of Ness on my skin. I groan and roll over onto my side, trying not to think about the fact that I can’t be with her right now. _I really wish I hadn’t left._ I’m tempted to phase and go watch her from my spot, but I know that won’t help. _Also, it’s kind of creepy_.

 

Reaching for my cell phone I flip it open. I pull up her name and stare at it. Snapping it shut I shake my head at myself. I’ll see her in the morning and she needs rest after the way the last couple of days have gone for her. Placing the phone off to the side I try to get comfortable so I can get some sleep myself. I’m planning on phasing in the morning so I can get a good run in before picking up my girl. _My_ girl. It’s still so hard for me to believe everything is finally out in the open. It’s crazy that I can now tell people she’s mine. It feels like I should still be hiding it because I had to for so long.

 

Rolling over onto my stomach I slip my arms under the pillow beneath my head. It’s flat and lumpy in places. Even though the bed is new, I haven’t bought anything other than sheets. I’ve been waiting for her to make the decisions, pick out what she wants, once I tell her about this place that is. I want her to make this her home, our home, when it is time. Until then, I’ll deal with the flat, lumpy pillows of my youth.

 

Thinking of this bed and Ness in the same thought is probably not a good idea. It’s so easy to picture her here in this house, putting sheets on the bed just before I push her back against the mattress. She will complain that I’m messing up the clean bedding as she pulls my lips down to hers.

 

_Yeah, must get my mind off of that._

 

I try to concentrate on just her smell, hoping that will ease me into sleep.

 

An hour later, I’m still awake. My phone ringing causes me to jump out of bed. I pull it to my ear without even checking the caller I.D.

 

“What?” I growl, prepared to bolt from the house and phase if needed.

 

“Jake?”

 

My whole body freezes when I hear her voice. “Ness?” I ask for confirmation.

 

“Hey,” she says on an exhale. “Are you ok?”

 

“I’m fine,” I choke out, too surprised by her call to elaborate. “Are _you_ ok?” I suddenly realize the time and worry for my imprint kicks in.

 

“I’m fine.” Before I can press her for what is going on she whispers, “I can’t sleep.”

 

My laughter feels almost maniacal as relief floods my body. “I understand, I can’t sleep either.”

 

“Is this normal?” Her voice sounds so worried that I find myself desperate to run to her, to comfort her, but I know I need to stay where I am. If I go to her it will just make things with Edward more difficult.

 

Sinking back into the bed, I lower my voice to a whisper that matches hers, “As far as I know, yes, it’s normal.”

 

“It’s worse tonight.” She sounds like she is on the verge of tears.

 

Forcing myself to stay where I am, I do my best to comfort her from afar, “Have you tried drawing? That usually puts you to sleep.”

 

“How do you--?” She gasps then laughs, “The window. Right.” She’s quiet for a moment then asks shyly, “You haven’t seen my drawings, right?”

 

“All I saw was you pulling out sketchbooks each night, never what you drew. You haven’t _shown_ them to me, so no, I haven’t seen them.” I pause, then whisper, “But I’d like to, when you are comfortable letting me see.”

 

“I’ve never shown anyone my drawings,” she sounds like she is lost in thought now. I’m relieved that she seems calmer now, but I’m still worried.

 

“You don’t have to--.”

 

“No,” she cuts me off, “I’d like to show you my drawings, someday.” She giggles softly, sounding shy, “Um, they are mostly of you.”

 

A grin spreads across my face. I wish she was here. I’d like nothing more than to see the blush I imagine is coloring her cheeks right now. “Is that so?”

 

“When I draw, it’s like I’m emptying my mind onto the paper. I’ve-- you’ve been on my mind a lot lately, so...,” her voice trails off but this time I’m not as worried; my girl sounds _happy_.

 

“You are always on my mind, Ness. That’s why I can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking about you.” Being this open and honest with her is scary, but it feels so good to finally be able to tell her how I feel.

 

“I can’t stop thinking of you, Jake. Also--,” she hesitates.

 

“What? No more secrets,” I remind her.

 

She chuckles, “It’s not so much a secret, just embarrassing to admit.” She takes a deep breath then whispers so softly I can barely hear her, “Today with you was perfect. I’m afraid to fall asleep. What if all of this was just a dream?”

 

“I promise, it wasn’t a dream. You are my imprint, Ness. But if you are worried, call me when you wake up, I’ll remind you of that fact again in the morning.”

 

She sighs happily, “You promise?”

 

“I promise to remind you every day of our lives that you are my imprint.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her how much I love her, but I can’t, not over the phone.

 

My words seem to appease her for now. She laughs softly, “I like this plan.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Even though she tries to hide it, I can hear her yawning. “Close your eyes, Ness. I’ll be there to see you as early as possible tomorrow morning.”

 

“What if I have nightmares?”

 

I can hear just the hint of fear in her voice. This must be why she keeps waking up in the middle of the night. “Call me.”

 

“You need to sleep too, Jake.” There is an edge of concern in her voice that makes me smile. It’s odd to have someone worry about my sleep, but nice at the same time.

 

“I’ll probably be awake. I have my fair share of nightmares too, Ness.” I hesitate for just a moment then decide I should tell her. It’s only fair that she knows. “It’s part of imprinting, Tathut. When we are apart, we have nightmares about the one we are missing. That’s why we both slept so well the last two nights, no need for nightmares when we are together.”

 

She sighs, “Jake, then you should be here.” I don’t have to imagine Edward’s hiss of anger, it comes through the phone loud and clear.

 

“I don’t think that is such a good idea. Soon enough we can be together forever, Ness. Until then, we can survive a few nights apart.”

 

“I guess.” She sounds sad again.

 

I honestly don’t want to come between her and Edward. I’m hopeful he’ll come around to things, but it’s going to take some time. Until then, I need to be on my best behavior, and that includes sleeping alone for a little while.

 

“We can still talk on the phone,” I offer. “I can stay on until you fall asleep.”

 

“I’d like that.” She’s quiet for a moment then I hear her ask softly, “Would you tell me a story? A legend?”

 

“Sure.” I go through the legends in my mind and land on a personal favorite. “How about Raven and Bear?”

 

She giggles but I can once again hear a yawn being suppressed, “The Bear because of Uncle Emmett?”

 

“Of course.” I grin into the phone. “Ness, before you fall asleep--,” I want to tell her I love her, but I hold myself back, “good night, sweet dreams.”

 

“Good night, Jacob.”

 

I launch into the story of Raven and Bear. Before Bear has even finished cooking the meal for Raven, Ness’ breathing has evened out into the steady rhythm of sleep.

 

“Good night, my Ness.” I press the end button on my phone. Rolling over, I make sure it’s as close to my ear as possible so I can answer it. If my imprint needs me, I will be ready for her. My eyes close of their own will and I fall asleep without thought.

 

-0-

 

A stream of light blinds me as the sun rises. I blink and squint, surprised that I actually slept as ‘late’ as I did. It’s the first time in a long time I haven’t been up in the middle of the night. When the memory of my phone conversation with Ness filters through my mind I relax. Talking to her just before falling to sleep was the best surprise I’ve ever had. Aside from _imprinting_ on my girl, that is.

 

 _God. She has me spellbound._ The funny part is, I seriously don’t mind a bit. I would do anything for her.

 

I grin and climb out of bed after checking my phone. Holding it in my hand as I walk toward the bathroom I consider sending Ness a quick text. I don’t want to wake her up if she’s still sleeping, which I hope she is. Changing my plan I decide to phase and go for a run then text her when I get back. It looks like it might be a nice day today, an odd rain free one. Taking a deep breath of crisp air I head to the edge of the woods. As soon as I’m in my wolf form I start to sprint; stretching my body to it’s limits. Burning up some excess energy.

 

When I get back and enter the house I head straight for the shower. As I turn the water on and let it heat up I decide to go ahead and send Ness a message.

 

_Good morning my beautiful girl. Hope u slept good. ~J_

 

After placing my phone on the bathroom sink I strip down and step into the steaming space. I bow my head under the spray and let the heat seep into my skin. It’s so nice not having to worry about other people needing the hot water before it runs out. I can take my time and just stand in my own shower, the hell with anyone else. _Fucking awesome_.

 

When I finish up and begin to dry off I hear my phone alerting that I have a message. Hastily I jerk my clothes on while flipping my phone open to a text. I should feel like a pansy ass for being so giddy over a friggin’ text message.

 

_Hello my Jake. I slept very well, thank you. I can’t wait to see you today. ~N_

 

My heart stutters a little and I shake my head at myself. There’s no hiding how much I care for  Ness. I hope she knows this even though I can’t exactly tell her the extent of my feelings yet. Sitting down on my bed I quickly pull on socks and my old hiking boots. The morning run and anticipation of seeing Ness has my adrenaline pumping. My plan was to pick her up later this morning, give her time to sleep in, hang out with her parents. But I can’t wait any longer. I need to see her now.

 

_Leaving house now, sweet girl. Be there soon. ~J_

 

The smile on my face can’t be wiped away by anyone or anything. I climb into my car, wishing I could take the bike but knowing Edward would have a fit if I did. Some day soon I need to take Ness out for a ride again. It’s been a long time since I’ve had her arms wrapped around me as we drive to nowhere. My mind wanders as I drive to the cottage to pick her up. Even though it was just a few hours ago when I left her, I am desperate to see her face again. To hear her voice. It’s amazing how things have changed in the past day. I’m so thankful I don’t have to go back to the way things were before.

 

When I pull up in front of the cottage she comes bounding through the front door, leaving it flopping on its hinges behind her. I barely manage to turn the car off before getting out to meet her. She leaps at me and I catch her, just like I always do.

 

“Ness,” I mutter into her hair while I squeeze her body in my arms. Her head fits beneath my chin perfectly as we hug. I’m so glad she isn’t upset with me about keeping things from her. Now that she knows I don’t think I could have stayed away from her, even if she hadn’t wanted to see me. I definitely deserved some of her anger, though I’m not going to point that out to her.

 

It surprises me that one of her parents hasn’t come outside yet and I realize that it’s probably still so early they might not be around. They still go “hunting” a lot. _Gross._

 

Loosening my grip on Ness I lean back so she’ll look up at me. She looks rested, which is a relief. I know it’s probably too early to be here, but I’m so glad I rushed over. Even though we were both sleeping in the hours we were apart, that time away from her felt like an eternity. Everything seems right just holding her in my arms.

 

“Morning, Jacob!” I hear Bella just before she and Edward break through the trees.

 

Before Ness or I can say anything Edward grumbles, “Definitely too early. I’d prefer you wait to visit until Bella or I are here.”

 

“Edward! Jacob can see Ness any time he likes. They don’t need to be supervised constantly.” Bella chides him, rolling her eyes before turning back to me. “Are you hungry Jake? I could make you two some breakfast.”

 

I glance down at Ness, asking her instead of directly answering Bella, “I was actually thinking of taking you to the diner for some breakfast, if you want.”

 

Her brow wrinkles and I watch as she bites her lip. The flash of her mom’s hopeful face in my head shows me what she is concerned about.

 

Twisting my head slightly I glance up at Bella. I give her a tight smile and hope she understands what I’m trying to say without speaking.

 

“Oh go, I don’t mind. That actually gives me a chance to pick up a present for Lillah and Embry. Ness mentioned you are going to visit them today. Will you head out straight from the diner?”

 

“That was my thought,” glancing down at Ness, I lift my eyebrows in question, “if that’s ok with you?”

 

She lifts her hand from its resting place on my arm to my face. Even though her hand is gentle against my cheek, she shares her excitement with me along with shouting two words into my mind, “Of course!”

 

Bella clearing her throat redirects my attention. Glancing up, I can’t help smiling. Bella smirks and shakes her head. She picked up that smirking thing from Edward. “That’s fine. I’ll drop the present off to you at the diner.”

 

I nod my head, appreciative of her understanding about wanting time with Ness. Bella takes Edward’s hand and leads him into the house. He glances back a few times, but she drags him away.

 

Chuckling, I turn back to Ness, pressing my lips against her forehead. “You ready?”

 

“I just need to grab my bag and tell them bye,” she whispers softly against my ear. My eyes drift shut briefly as I soak in the feeling her breath creates in my body.

 

I follow her into the house., when she heads for her room to grab her bag, Edward gives me the stinkeye. I know better than to even think about following her. Bella asks me a couple of questions about Lillah and Embry’s baby, but other than the basics like her name, I’m unable to answer.

 

Ness comes skipping out of her room, answering all of Bella’s questions as she gives her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Pressing her hand against Bella’s face quickly Ness moves on to her father. She hesitates for just a second then leans forward and kisses his cheek too. She presses her hand to his face and he sighs. “I love you too. Have fun,” with a glance at me, he adds, “and behave.”

 

Ness grabs my hand, linking her fingers between mine as she smiles at her father, “We will, Dad. Don’t worry.”

 

Edward squints his eyes at me but doesn’t say anything else. I know it’s not her behavior he’s concerned about. Taking that as my cue to leave, I quickly get us out of the cottage.

 

Ness places her lips against my cheek when we’re settled in the car. When I twist my face to her, she quickly finds my lips. The kiss is soft and brief, but it still thrills me. “Good morning,” she whispers, “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too my beautiful imprint.”

 

Her face blossoms as her cheeks turn a soft pink. Brushing my thumb across her lips I can’t help my own big smile, “I promised I’d remind you of that every day of our lives. Consider it your reminder for today.”

 

“Jake--,” she stops herself. Her hand moves to my cheek, and she whispers a soft, “Thank you,” into my mind. Surrounding those words are emotions that make my heart swell; happy, excited, nervous, and something else. I can’t wait to ask her about that something else, but for now, I’m just going to enjoy our time together.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** How much do your cheekbones hurt? Happy Jake makes us all smile. Go ahead, admit it. Don’t forget to hit that review button. Jake loves the love.


	11. Puzzle Piece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Sadly, still not SM. If we were we’d have the h00r house of our dreams. With pretty boys fanning us while we write all day. Until then, it’s work, life, and squeezing in writing when we can.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Quite a few people asked us about “Tathut”. It is our best estimation as pale faces of the Quileute word for “heart”. Apologies on not mentioning this in the last chapter’s A/N, but don’t worry, Jake will explain soon.

** Chapter 11 “Puzzle Piece” **

 

_Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive_

_Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find_

_Falls right into place you're all that it takes_

_My doubts fade away when I'm kissin you_

_When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense_

_And all the questions I've been asking in my head_

_Like are you the one should I really trust_

_Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you_

“Kissing You” - Miranda Cosgrove

 

** NPOV **

 

-0-

 

Jacob has his phone in one hand and a fork full of food in the other. I’m doing my best not to laugh, but it’s difficult.

 

“Jacob, I’m finished, I can talk to Embry while you eat,” I offer, holding my hand out for the phone.

 

He shakes his head and gives me a wink. “You got it, man. Putting in the order right now. See you shortly.”

 

Jacob closes the phone, setting it down as he stuffs the food in his mouth. As he’s chewing, he lifts his head to grab our waitress’ attention. He manages to swallow just as she walks over. I watch as he orders three platters of food, plus a couple of side dishes. While I know the guys do eat a lot, that is a bit much for just Embry.

 

Catching me giving him a curious look he explains as the waitress walks away, “Embry is hungry and he says the hospital food sucks. He asked me to pick up food for him, Lillah, and Kim.”

 

“Oh. That’s sweet of him,” I offer, picking at what is left of my blueberry muffin. I’m not really hungry, yesterday’s hunt filled me up like food can’t, but I know better than to not eat with Jacob around.

 

He eyes me, “He has an ulterior motive. He wants to make sure Lillah eats properly.”

 

“Embry worries too much.” Shaking my head I push my plate away.

 

Jacob shrugs as he shoves more food into his mouth. Grabbing his glass of milk he practically drinks it in one gulp before speaking again. “It’s in our nature to worry about our,” he looks around then whispers, “imprints. We can’t help it. If anything were to happen to any of you,” he shudders, “it would kill us.”

 

Sliding my chair over so I’m sitting next to him, I reach out for his hand as I lean my head against his shoulder. “I know Jake.” I focus on sharing my thoughts through the connection of our hands. “I feel the same way.”

 

He glances down at me with a small smile and I know he got the message. He doesn’t say anything more, returning to eating his breakfast. Even though we are in public, I feel like we are in our own little private cocoon. The diner is busy, but it’s mostly people coming in to grab something to-go before heading to work. I almost forgot it was Monday; my days are all messed up after everything that has happened recently.

 

The sound of a chair at our table being pulled back jerks me to attention. I sit up straight, surprised I had dozed off. When I look toward the source of the noise, my mother is looking back at me with a smirk on her perfect face. 

 

“Comfortable?” She winks at me.

 

I glance up at Jacob and he’s smiling down at me. “How long was I asleep?”

 

“Just a few minutes, I’ve barely finished my food.”

 

Since it’s just Mom at the table, I feel safe returning my head to its resting place against Jacob’s bicep. Giving her a soft smile I answer her question, “Actually, yes, I’m very comfortable.”

 

“Glad to hear it.” She places a big pink bag on the table. “This is for Halona, from your father and me.”

 

Sitting up, I look around the bag at her, “Mom, I told Dad nothing too outrageous.”

 

“I know, the only thing I bought was the outfit. The big part of the gift is-- gently used.”

 

Biting my lip, I turn to Jacob. He shakes his head but stands to peek into the bag. When he sits back down he’s laughing. “Gently used is an understatement, Bella.”

 

“What is it?”

 

He chuckles again, speaking low so just Mom and I can hear him, “One of the many things Rose bought when you were born. It’s a bouncy-rocker thing, you hated it.”

 

Mom moves the package to the floor as she stands up. She gives me a quick grin before turning back to Jacob, “Funny, Rose told me a little different story when I called to ask her where she had stored it. Said something about every time she tried to put Ness in that thing, you would pick her right up. Bye you two, have a good day.”

 

Mom is out of the diner before we can say anything. When I turn back to Jacob to ask if what she just said is true, he’s grinning down at me. “I liked holding you, even then. Seriously though, you did not like that thing. Your little nose would scrunch up when Rose put you in it.”

 

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t like it!” I scoff at him, shaking my head.

 

He leans over, placing his lips softly against my cheek before moving to my ear. “Maybe not,” he whispers, his warm breath sending a thrill of excitement through my body, “but you liked being held by me more.”

 

I want to make a comment, but he pulls back before I can. Tucking my hair behind my ear, he smiles at me brightly, “You ready?’

 

I’m excited to see Lillah and the baby, but I don’t want to move from our cozy little spot. Now that I know I won’t lose him, I never want to let go of him. The decision is made for me when the waitress drops off a bag containing Embry’s order. If there is one thing I know, it’s you should never come between a wolf and his food. Especially when that food is for his imprint, who just had his baby.

 

-0-

 

Lillah and I keep our eyes on the door until it is completely closed. “I know he needs to phase, but I miss him already.”

 

“Same.” Jacob and Embry just left for a run, leaving Lillah and I alone in her hospital room. It was good of Jacob to take Embry out, but I miss my best friend. Spending all day yesterday with him spoiled me. Having him close feels normal now, and when he isn’t beside me, I feel like part of me is missing.

 

Lillah exhales softly. She twists away from the door to face me, opening her arms, “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you.” I don’t need any more of an invitation, quickly moving to hug her.

 

“It was just one day,” I laugh as I pull back to sit in the chair beside her bed.

 

“Right! A whole day in which you finally knew you were Jacob’s imprint. That’s a very important day.” Her cheeks turn bright pink and she bites her lip as a smile crosses her face, “Yeah, a very very important day.”

 

“What does that mean?” I ask as she continues to blush.

 

She shakes her head, but before she can respond, a nurse opens the door, wheeling a small cart into the room. “Everything checks out. She’s doing great so far. Looks like you two will be clear to leave tomorrow.” The nurse checks a chart then lifts the baby out, “And it’s time for another feeding, Mom.”

 

Lillah lifts an eyebrow at me, “Do you mind if I feed her while we talk?”

 

“No, go ahead,” I wave at her. I’m amazed watching her with Halona; she really is a natural at this. Once she gets her little girl settled, the nurse leaves the room.

 

When the door clicks, Lillah turns back to me, “Ok, so, first day.” I can see the blush rising in her cheeks again. “Tell me all about it.”

 

“Ok, but first you have to explain yourself. What happened on your first day of knowing that has you turning beet red?”

 

Her face breaks out into a huge smile as her thumb slides gently over the fine dark auburn hair on Halona’s head, “I’m pretty sure this little one was created on that day.”

 

“Oh.” I don’t know what else to say.

 

The smile remains on Lillah’s face; she seems lost in memories, “That’s not all that happened; we finally admitted we loved one another. Embry moved in and proposed. That day; it changed everything in my life.”

 

“I can’t imagine a day getting any better,” I whisper, recalling the amazing day I spent with Jacob.

 

Her chuckle brings me out of my thoughts, “There’s more to come.” Her head tilts down toward Halona, “Have you felt the baby urge yet?”

 

“What?” I gasp, unsure what she is even asking.

 

“Maybe it was just me then. Emily, Kim, and Rachel said they never felt it.” Lillah shrugs. “Even before I knew about Embry imprinting, as soon as I met him, it was like a switch was flipped in my heart. When I saw Eli or Claire, all I could think about was how much I wanted a baby. And not just any baby, I wanted Embry’s baby.”

 

My head starts shaking even before she’s done speaking, “No. That was definitely not something I was thinking about.” Even though I’ve said this to Jacob, I’m still scared to admit it to Lillah. I know she won’t judge me, but it’s hard to explain, “I don’t even think I’m ready to get married, let alone think about having a family. Jacob said we don’t have to, but I don’t know.”

 

Lillah pats my hand, “If you aren’t ready, then Jacob will understand. Most likely, he isn’t ready either. That’s just one of the many crazy-wonderful things about imprinting.”

 

I feel relieved to hear her say that. Even though I know what Jacob said, it’s good to get some confirmation from a fellow imprintee.

 

“Now, tell me about your first day as Jacob’s imprint. What made it one of the best days of your life?”

 

I hesitate for just a second before grinning at her, “We kissed.”

 

“And?” she asks as she switches Halona over to her other side.

 

“It was amazing,” I sigh, remembering the perfection of that first moment when I felt his lips against mine.

 

“Oh come on, you can’t just leave me there. This was your first kiss with your wolf! I need way more detail.” She’s laughing but so obviously excited for me that it makes me giggle too.

 

“It might be easier if I just show you,” I offer, holding my hand up. While I typically don’t use my gift outside of my family and Jacob, in this instance, it will be a lot easier to use than to try to explain everything. It’s not the first time I’ve shared something with Lillah this way, so I feel comfortable offering this option up to her.

 

My friend nods enthusiastically and I quickly place my hand against her cheek, closing my eyes, I let the memories from yesterday flow from my mind. I go ahead and show her a brief summary of the day, starting with waking up in his arms all the way up until I fell asleep talking to him on the phone.

 

Once I’m done she sighs dreamily, “Oh Ness. I’m so happy for you. It really was a pretty perfect day. Well, other than your dad and Paul.” She waves her hand like those two “problems” are no big deal.  


“Yeah, _other_ than those two.” Removing my hand from her face, I lean back into the chair.

 

Lillah gives me a knowing smile, “I’m sure your dad will come around. Trust me, my dad was not a happy camper when he met Embry. Now though, they gang up against me.” She rolls her eyes but her smile never fades, “Edward just wants to protect you.”

 

“I know, Jacob and my mom said the same thing. The problem is, even though I know now, he’s still trying to control my relationship with Jacob. He wants to put all these rules on when I can be with Jacob and listening in on my conversations with him. He didn’t even want me to accept Jacob’s imprint. He actually suggested I still go to school and only see Jacob on the _weekends_.”

 

Tears are starting to form in my eyes, but I do my best to blink them away. Lillah sighs, looking down at Halona before turning back to me, grasping my hand in hers. “I don’t envy you right now. Dads are very protective of their little girls. Embry has already said Hallie won’t date until she’s at least thirty.” My gasp of shock quickly turns into a laugh. Lillah shakes her head, “I know, I pity any man that is interested in our daughter. Your dad will come around, he knows Jacob is what is best for you. He just doesn’t want to let you go.

 

“As for Paul,” she chuckles, “you were right on the money with your explanation to Jacob. That is just something you’ll both have to get accustomed to. He still randomly asks Embry if he’s had sex with me yet. It makes Embry so mad, but that’s what Paul wants. He loves to get Embry and all of the other guys riled up. Looks like you did everything right last night; just keep your cool and help Jacob to do the same and Paul will drop it.”

 

I nod, agreeing with her on both of her assessments. _Trust in Lillah to know what to say to me._ She truly is a great confidant, especially since she understands what I’m going through, adjusting to knowing the truth.  


She checks Halona, moving her up closer to her shoulder and rubbing her back gently. “Now, going back to the imprintee question you asked Jacob yesterday, about feeling the need to close the gap? We all feel that way too. Emily and I have talked about this quite a lot.

 

“Best way I can explain it is imprinting is the last piece in a puzzle that makes us complete. It pulls the whole picture together; without that piece, the puzzle isn’t finished. As much as I know how intense imprinting is for the guys, we feel the same intensity. You are that last piece for Jacob just as he is for you. You fit each other, perfectly, and you make each other whole.”

 

Her analogy makes sense, however, there’s another part about imprinting I need to clarify with her. I’m a little anxious to ask, but I need to know, to understand if what I’m feeling is ‘normal’. Lillah’s smile is inviting when I glance up at her, giving me the confidence to ask, “You mentioned the intensity. Is it always that way? It feels like I can’t get enough. Jacob says we are moving fast, but every time he touches me, I want more.”

 

Lillah looks thoughtful for a moment, “You are still pretty young, I probably shouldn’t say this to you. If your father is anything like Embry--.”

 

I’m scared for just a moment that she will hold back. Just when I’m considering begging her, she takes a deep breath and shakes her head, “You need to know though, you are going to want more,” she says, though she seems hesitant still. “And more. Lots more. It’s easy to let things get out of hand, Ness. A kiss leads to making out, making out leads to touching, and touching leads to sex... pretty fast. I can see why Jacob would want to be cautious.”

 

I nod my head, understanding what she means but also agreeing; the summary she just gave is exactly how I’m feeling right now. I’m so glad to know this need I feel to go further isn’t some weird vampire-hybrid thing. “I know.” I sigh, “He doesn’t want to push me, but that’s the thing Lillah, he’s not pushing me. I-- have wanted these things with him for a while. It’s not a recent development, but it’s so much more intense now. Now that we’ve kissed, I can’t get enough.”

 

“Have you told him? That you want more?” She adjusts the baby so that she is snuggled up tight in her arms. Now that she is done feeding, I have an unobstructed view of Embry and Lillah’s daughter. While I have the opportunity, I take stock in myself for a moment while I consider how to answer Lillah’s question.

 

My eyes stay locked on Halona and I try to listen to my heart. The little girl is adorable, but that is all I see. When I try to picture myself in Lillah’s position, holding a child in my arms, the image seems so far in the future that it is blurry and unfocused in my mind. I can’t absolutely deny that I want that, someday, but it isn’t what my heart is yearning for right now.

 

Right now, I want Jacob beside me. I want to make up for the time we were kept apart. My desire to be with Jacob and develop our relationship is all consuming; nothing else matters to me.

 

Returning my gaze to Lillah I shake my head, “Not yet.” Sighing I give her a soft smile, “Any suggestions on how to best go about it? He seems pretty set on stopping things with me before we can go too far.”

 

She winks at me, “Best advice I received was to seduce Embry.”

 

The blood all rushes to my cheeks. The thought is both appealing and embarrassing. Like I would even know how to _seduce_ someone. _I don’t even know if Jacob_ wants _to be seduced._

 

“Oh believe me, he does,” Lillah grins at me. I stare at her, my brows furrowed in concentration. “Ness, Jake only wants to protect you, to give you what you need. If what you need is--,” Lillah tilts her head to the side, “more from him, then he will be more than willing to give it to you. You just might have to push him to realize that’s what you _need_.”

 

My cheeks feel like they should be red-hot with how much I’m blushing over this topic. If Jacob were here, I know he’d tell me the fact that I’m so embarrassed by this conversation means I’m not ready, but that’s not true. While there is a level of embarrassment, it has more to do with my lack of knowing what to do; I have no clue _how_ to seduce Jacob. I realize we have plenty of time, as he stated, but my hormones don’t agree; I need more of him, but I don’t know how to go about getting what I want. I’ve studied human sexuality, but I’ve never had more than a cursory conversation about sex. Mom sat me down to explain the basics a few years ago and Grandaddy Carlisle talked with me when I had my first period, but that’s been about it.

 

This is completely new territory for me and there are very few people I can talk to about this subject. _Definitely not Jacob, my parents, or my grandparents._ The other imprintees are really my best resources for knowing how to handle my changing relationship with Jacob. These women know how to best handle these wolves, but that doesn’t make asking the questions or hearing the answers any less embarrassing.

 

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her more specific questions when the door opens. Embry is smiling as he walks toward Lillah and Halona just as I feel myself being picked up and carried from the chair I was sitting in.

 

About the time I feel my back hit the wall my mind catches up to what is going on. _Whoa._ His eyes, dark, intense, and locked on mine, are the first thing I recognize, but everything else quickly registers; familiar strong arms holding me tight to his chest, the sound of his heart pounding roughly, and his rich woodsy scent surrounding me tell me everything I need to know. _My Jacob has returned to me._

 

I manage to say his name on my exhale of relief but that is all. His chest crushes me against the wall just as his lips attack mine. My arms jerk around his neck without thought, my fingers gripping his hair tightly to keep myself glued to him. _Guess I don’t_ need _to seduce him._

 

Just as I arch my back, wanting to feel even more of him, I hear the growl deep in his chest. In the space of half a heartbeat, everything about Jacob changes.

 

Though we’ve kissed before, the intensity is suddenly increased. The hands he had locked on my waist lower to my hips then around, to my ass. He squeezes tight just as his tongue invades my mouth. My gasp of surprise is devoured by him. I’m no longer in control of my body, I’m at his mercy. Of course, I don’t mind; I’ll happily let him lead me wherever.

 

When one of his hands starts to slide away from my ass I want to beg him not to stop. Using my hand against his neck I try to tell him what I want, but he has different plans. Before I realize his intention, his hand is under my knee, lifting my leg and wrapping it around his hip. I’m clawing at his neck, desperate to get closer, to feel all of him, when he finally presses all of his body into mine. _HELLO!_

 

I’m trapped between the wall and Jacob; I’ve never been happier. With my leg around his hip I feel him hard up against me. Despite the clothes between us, I want to feel more. I’m shifting my hips and considering if he has a tight enough grip on me to hold me, when his lips abruptly leave mine. _What?_

 

Through my gasps of breath I hear something; a familiar howl-like sound. _The wolf call._ The pack uses it in their human forms to announce themselves, but I don’t understand why I would be hearing it now. And it’s not just Embry making the sound; as the fog in my mind clears I realize there are others joining in; Sam, Paul, and Jared.

 

Female voices also start to break through my fog.

 

_Oh crap. What just happened here?_

 

“What brought it on?” Emily asks, serious mixed with a little bit of worry.

 

“I’m not sure. As soon as he and Embry got back he just-- attacked.” The laughter in Lillah’s voice is soothing, but it doesn’t match her words. Her voice drops to a whisper, but I still hear her clearly, “Lucky girl, Embry is never that rough with me.” This really confuses me. _Rough?_ Jacob wasn’t rough with me. Aggressive, but not rough. Although, now that I think about it, rough doesn’t sound too bad either.

 

The next sigh I hear is distinctively Rachel, “Paul used to be like that with me, but not since we found out I’m pregnant. He’s been so hands off I’ve had to threaten to divorce him to get sex.”

 

“Ness is so lucky. I can’t wait until I can kiss my Quily.” My gaze stays locked on Jacob’s neck when Claire’s little voice fills my ears.

 

Claire’s sigh is quickly followed by Sam’s growl, “Not until you are grown up, Claire. Like thirty at least. See what you’ve done, Jacob?”

 

My eyes jerk up to Jacob’s, but he doesn’t look upset. There is a huge grin on his face. He leans forward, our lips just barely touching as he whispers, “I missed you.”

 

His lips pass slowly over mine, but just as I’m considering pulling him closer he twists his head away from mine. “Sorry Sam. I blame Jared.”

 

“Hey!” Jared’s growl is laced with a hint of laughter as Jacob slowly lowers me back down to the floor. Jacob’s hands stay locked on my hips. He pulls me against his chest and I place my ear directly over his heart. I feel him turn us around so he can face the room, but I don’t look up right away. Instead I focus on the steady bump of his heart to calm my own racing pulse. Of course, the voices in the room are loud enough that I can hear them too. “How is--,” Jared goes quiet for a moment, “THAT my fault?”

 

I’m so giddy in this moment that I could care less what everyone else thinks. Jacob is here holding me; everything in my world is perfect.

 

Jacob’s hand cupping my face surprises me. I expected him to answer Jared, but instead he speaks directly to me when our eyes meet. “Jared reminded me of something we still need to talk about.”

 

“What?” I don’t bother asking aloud, knowing the thought is so strong and simple he’ll receive the message.

 

Jacob lowers his head, his mouth brushing my ear as he whispers for me, “He asked about an update on you leaving for school.”

 

“Oh,” I sigh, realizing we haven’t broached that topic yet. I was too afraid to, and now that I’ve spent a day with him, I’m no longer certain what I’m going to do. Maybe I can just stay here and make out with him every day for the rest of my life.

 

“He also showed me a few things,” Jacob says softly, though I can hear worry in his voice.

 

I lean back, wanting to see his eyes so I can soothe him. “What things, Jake? What’s wrong?” I ask, my hand caressing his cheek.

 

He sighs, closing his eyes he leans forward again, his mouth aligned perfectly with my ear, “He reminded me what it was like for him when Kim was gone. How lost he was without her by his side.” He takes a gulp of air before he leans back. His eyes are locked on mine as he speaks softly, “I’ll do anything to keep you close, Ness. I can’t lose you, not now that we are finally together.”

 

My heart sinks. The impromptu decision I made so many months ago to leave Forks to protect myself is now coming back to haunt me. It seemed so simple then; leave before Jacob imprints on someone else, leave before I could get hurt. What I never considered was both of us hurting by being apart. Jacob’s words are an echo of what my own heart is screaming now. _I can’t leave him._

 

His eyes leave mine and his voice is louder as he speaks to the room, “We’ve got to go. I’ll see you guys at the shop later.”

 

My hands reach to grip Jacob’s as I spin to face the room again. Lillah’s smile is all I see and she gives me a nod, “It’s fine. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

There is a chorus of goodbye’s shouted as Jacob leads me out, just before we reach the door he spins around to face the group again, a weird look on his face. His eyes dart to Lillah as he speaks, “You told her to seduce me?”

 

My cheeks flame with embarrassment as the entire room bursts into laughter. Once they calm down Lillah’s voice is clear and strong as she shrugs at Jacob, “I let her in on a little secret for how to deal with her wolf. You guys can be stubborn, but so can we.”

 

I’m a little surprised when I hear Jacob howl in laughter. “Fair enough. See you later.”

 

“Oh, and Jacob?” Rachel pipes up before we can take a step.

 

“Yeah, sis?”

 

Rachel winks at me before turning back to Jacob, “Do whatever it takes to keep Ness here. We don’t want to lose her either.”

 

Tears jump to my eyes and I twist into Jacob’s chest before they can see. His hand slides along my back soothingly as he leads me out, speaking to the room as he leaves, “I’ll do my damnedest, Rach.”

 

-0-

 

When Jacob stops the car I don’t recognize the strip of beach in front of us. Before I can ask where we are, he’s out of the car and beside me. I don’t even have the opportunity to move his arms are under me so fast, easily scooping me up.

 

“Jake,” I squeal, giggling as I wrap my arms around his neck.

 

“Don’t even pretend like you don’t like me holding you,” he grins down at me. Before I can consider how to respond, he short-circuits my brain by nipping at my bottom lip.

 

My heart leaps in my chest as I automatically pull myself even closer to him. His lips move lightly over mine as he whispers, “You are driving me crazy right now.”

 

He lowers his body down, sitting. I can hear the waves crashing behind me, but the ocean holds no appeal right now. Once I’m settled on his lap, his hands cup my face. It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him what he means, but he beats me to the punch, explaining himself in a rough voice that sets my body on fire. “Even if you never shared another thought with me, your body screams to me. Your heartbeat, breathing, eyes, and even your scent changes when we are close. It’s like you are calling me to you.”

 

“Jacob,” I sigh, leaning closer, desperate to feel his lips against mine again.

 

His smile grows, “Your voice changes too, its deeper, more breathy.”

 

My hand moves over his face as I share how his voice makes _me_ feel. His growl is powerful and the only warning I have before his hands dig into my hair and tug my face to his. My entire body is shaking like a tuning fork from the force behind his movements. The excitement in this new side of him is pushing me to meet him with the same level of intensity. I’m not sure what has caused it, but I am loving this change in him.

 

Swiftly I bring my hands to his neck, digging my nails into his skin. I use the force to pull my body closer to his. My tongue slides into Jacob’s mouth just as his hands drop from my hair to my waist. I’m eager to have him adjust my position so I can feel him hard against me again. Instead, he tortures me in a different way.

 

He pulls back slightly. “Jake.” My voice sounds whiny even to my own ears, but I can’t help it. Stopping is the hardest part. I don’t ever want to stop once we start kissing. Now that I’ve had a taste of his desire, I want that power to overtake my body again and again.

 

He pulls my hands from around his neck, placing them in my lap so that no part of our skin is touching, though I’m still sitting in his lap. When I glance up questioningly he groans.

 

“We need to focus right now and I can’t do that with you showing me how us kissing makes you feel.” He leans forward, his nose and forehead resting against mine. “You are seriously killing my self control.”

 

Lifting my lips, I kiss him softly as I whisper, “What do you mean?”

 

“When we are kissing, I have a very hard time distinguishing my own thoughts from yours. I hear what we both want, how much more we are both craving, and it’s very hard to stop.”

 

Of their own accord, my hands move from my lap to the edge of Jake’s shirt, pushing up slowly to find his warm bare skin underneath. “I don’t want you to stop.” Pressing my lips hard against his I push the next thought out from my mind into his, “I want more, Jake.”

 

This time it’s Jacob that shakes. His arms grip my shoulders, but instead of pulling me closer, he pushes me back. Taking a couple of deep breaths he finally looks me in the eye, “I hear you, Tathut, but right now we need to figure out something more important.”

 

Sighing I drop my eyes from his; twisting my head away to look out across the waves I only heard before. Before my gaze lands on the waves a house catches my eye. The structure isn’t huge, but the wall of glass is spectacular. The little bit of light from the sun reflects off the glass. There is also a small porch across the front and it looks like it backs right up to the forest edge. I’ve never seen this house before, but it looks strangely familiar.

 

Jacob speaking returns my focus to our much needed conversation. “Ness, what do you want?”

 

The answer to that question is easy, “You.”

 

“Besides me,” he chuckles as his hands move my head back around to face him. His eyes meet mine and while I can see laughter, there is also worry. “Do you want to go to school?”

 

Biting my lip I move my head up and down, “Yes, but I don’t want to leave you, Jacob. We’ve already lost so much time because of my dad.”

 

“Shhh,” he slides his thumb over my lips, pressing softly. “I don’t want you to leave, but if college is really what you want, then it’s what I want for you too.”

 

“Kim told me what it was like for her when she went away.” Remembering the physical agony she described, I can no longer sit up straight. My body curls in on itself and I lean into Jacob’s chest. “I don’t think I’ll make it without you near. I want to go to college, but I want to be with you more than just on the weekends.”

 

His arms surround me and I feel him start moving back and forth, rocking me. “If you want to go to college, then I want you to go.” He repeats.

 

“Even if it means only seeing each other on the weekends?” I’m close to tears at just the thought of being separated from Jacob for five days a week.

 

His voice is rough, “I’m not strong enough to make it that long without seeing you.”

 

“Then I can’t go. I won’t have you in pain again.” As much as it saddens me to give up school, my single priority is Jacob. He is all that matters to me.

 

“I won’t be in pain if I’m in Seattle with you,” he whispers softly.

 

My head jerks up, my eyes searching his. “Jake, you can’t leave the tribe.”

 

His shrug seems careless, “There isn’t a threat any longer, especially if Bella and Edward leave for Seattle too. No more vampires in Forks means the tribe is safe. There really wouldn’t be a need for any of us to continue patrolling.”

 

“But you’re the Chief.” My teeth latch on to my lip, worrying it as I wait for his response.

 

“Dad, Sue, and Sam could manage without me during the week if I needed to be in Seattle with you. We could still come back here on the weekends, right?”

 

“I-- guess, but what about your pack?” The idea that Jacob might be willing to join me in Seattle is too good to be true, but he has so many responsibilities here in La Push. There’s no way I could ask him to drop everything to be with me, just because I want to go to college.

 

Jacob doesn’t seem as worried as I am, “Leah is a strong Second. If anything were to happen she could get a hold of me. I can be here in no time if I run straight through the national park.”

 

Sitting up straight, I look him straight in the eye, “Jacob Black. Are you saying you’d be willing to come to Seattle to be with me?” This is important to me. I need to hear him say this.

 

“I will go anywhere in the world to be with you, Renesmee Cullen.”

 

My heart stutters as I feel a smile take over my face, “Really?”

 

He laughs, “Really.”

 

“What would you do in Seattle while I’m in school?” The idea of Jacob being alone while I take classes saddens me.

 

Once again, though, he doesn’t seem worried. “I’ll need a job. I bet there are plenty of car repair shops that could use an experienced mechanic.”

 

“Jacob, this means leaving your family behind. I can’t ask that of you.”

 

His smile falls away, “It’s not ideal, Ness, but if it makes you happy, we will figure something out. I may not be able to be in Seattle full time with you right away, but I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to be with you. I can’t live without you, Ness. If that means some time away from my family, then that is a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

 

My heart swells at his words but I’m still worried, “Rachel won’t be happy.”

 

“She won’t be happy, but she’ll understand. I know they’d all prefer we stay here, but I’m not worried about them. All I care about is making you happy. If that means going away, then so be it.”

 

As excited as I am at the prospect of Jacob joining me in Seattle, leaving my friends behind still hurts to think about. “I want to come back here, as much as possible.”

 

“I thought you wanted to go to school?” Jacob looks so confused that I can’t help laughing.

 

Shaking my head I smile at him, “I do want to go to school, but I want to be here too, as much as possible, around school.”

 

“So you want it all?” he asks, laughing as he speaks.

 

“Yes,” I giggle, “is that too much to ask?”

 

“Absolutely not.” He grins at me and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. “Don’t worry about my responsibilities, _I_ will figure all of that out. We _will_ make this work.”

 

“So I guess I need to tell Dad school is on.” I’m about to start smiling when the reality sinks in, “And tell him that you will be joining us. Where--?”

 

“Stop Ness, leave all of the rest to me. You just focus on preparing for school, I’ll take care of everything else.”

 

“Jake, no--,” my hand on his face presses my “voice” into his mind.

 

He chuckles, “You worry too much. It will all work out. All that matters is that we are together, and that is what I’m focused on. Trust me, it will be fine.”

 

His phone buzzing startles both of us. When he pulls it out, it’s just the alarm going off. “Time for me to get to work.” He sighs, “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

 

“I’ll see you after work, right?” I ask, reaching for him to keep him close.

 

He grins, “Nothing could keep me from seeing you tonight. I need more of your sweet kisses.”

 

The moment his lips touch mine, all worry leaves me. My faith in him is absolute. It might not be easy, we may have to be separated from friends and family, but I know Jacob will do whatever it takes to keep us together. Being with him is most important to me, because without him, I’m incomplete.

 

-0-

 

“You look happy!” Mom beams at me as I walk into the cottage.

 

When I drop onto the couch, she pulls me close, “That good of a day?”

 

“Jacob and I talked about school,” I whisper.

 

“I take it that conversation went well?”

 

Pressing my hand against her cheek I speak slowly, cautiously, “I want to go to school, which he supports.”

 

“Your father will be very happy to hear that.”

 

Dad walks into the living room carrying a stack of books. He sets them down on the table and sits down on Mom’s other side. “Something is going to make me happy? Could it be you are already sick and tired of Jacob?”

 

Dad gives me a wink. I’m a little taken aback by his joking, but glad to see him starting to return to the man I know and love.

 

I give him a small smile, “No, definitely not sick and tired of Jacob. But we did talk about school, and he supports me wanting to go to college.”

 

Dad’s face breaks out into a huge grin, “That _does_ makes me very happy.”

 

“Are you sure you can be away from Jacob that long?” Mom asks, a concerned look on her face.

 

“Well,” I whisper, “Jacob said he wants to join me in Seattle.”

 

Dad groans, “I don’t like it.”

 

“Edward,” Mom whispers, “if it means her going to school, we will have to accept this compromise.”

 

“What is he planning to do there while you go to school?” Dad asks, his eyes narrowed.

 

I shrug, “Jacob said he’ll figure it out, that I’m not to worry about that.”

 

Mom laughs, “That boy, always taking the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

 

“Should I worry about it?” I ask, scared to look at her.

 

“If Jacob says he’ll figure it out, I trust him,” Mom grins at me, “he has yet to let us down.”

 

Dad sighs, “I guess we should let Esme know to start looking for him a place.”

 

He stands and leaves the room, taking his cell phone out of his pocket. My hand leaps to my mother’s face, “Mom,” I plead.

 

She glances down at me, “What baby?”

 

“I-- don’t want to be separated from him.” My words are cautious in case my father hears my thoughts through her mind.

 

She looks confused for a moment and then understanding crosses her face. She sighs, “Ok, I’ll try to figure something out.” She lowers her voice and looks me in the eye, “We need to-- talk though. Soon, and when your father isn’t around.”

 

I can guess what she wants to talk about but I clear my mind in case Dad catches on. She gives me a smile, “Is Jacob at work?”

 

“Yeah,” I lean back against her shoulder, “he’s coming over after though.”

 

“Want me to make some dinner for you two?” she offers.

 

  1. I’m suddenly struck with the realization that I don’t know how to cook. I mean, I know the basics, but not much more than that. Mom has always cooked, so I’ve never worried about it. Now that Jacob and I are together though, I need to hone that skill. Jacob eats, a lot. If Mom manages to change Dad’s mind-- well, I’ll need to be able to cook while we are in Seattle.



 

“Do you mind if I help?” I ask hopefully.

 

I feel her shaking her head back and forth and laughing, “Sure, I can teach you a few things. You might want to ask a few of your friends for pointers too, especially for feeding their men.”

 

I catch her meaning and give her a quick kiss on the cheek, “You’re the best, Mom.”

 

“I love you, too,” she winks as I jump up from the couch. “You just let me know when you are ready, we’ll head up to the main house. I assume that’s where you and Jacob will be hanging out tonight?”

 

“I guess,” I shrug, unsure of Jacob’s plans, but not too worried.

 

I can hear Dad speaking on the phone as I head for my bedroom. Shutting the door, I move to sit beside my bed on the floor. The sketch book I grab falls open to the picture I drew after the bonfire. The intensity and focus on Embry and Jared’s faces is clear. There is no question what matters to them in life; their wives and children. When I drew this, having Jacob look at me the same way was just a pipe dream. Now, I can honestly say not only have I received this look, I’m pretty certain I’ve returned it. Sitting here alone in the quiet of my room, his scent all over, I know he is my everything.

 

I turn the sketch book over and start drawing on a blank piece of paper. I start out drawing Jacob but somehow other details in the sketch start taking precedence. Behind his smiling face my hand details out the house on the beach I saw today. I’m not sure why I’m so fascinated by that house, but I don’t worry about it, letting the thoughts empty from my mind onto the paper.

 

Once that picture is complete, I flip to another page, this time drawing out Lillah holding Halona in her arms. I’m hopeful there are enough pictures in my mind to pass the time until Jacob is done with work. I need it to distract me so I don’t think about how much I miss him right now. Just thinking about missing him makes my heart ache.

 

My phone beeps and I bounce in excitement when I see it’s a message from Jacob.

 

_I miss your sweet lips ~J_

 

Giggling I take a quick picture with my phone and send it to him with a message.

 

_They miss you too! ~N_

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** We know. Two weeks is a lifetime in fic world. Alas, it is but a blip on the radar when trying to write. But don’t worry, we’ll be back in two weeks. Until then, enjoy summer and don’t forget to hit that little review button.


	12. Crazy Over You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Guarantee we aren’t SM. She definitely would not write this chapter. We make her characters do dirty stuff.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Just a little warning, these two are moving fast. While we encourage reading as soon as we post, you may want to wait until you can read this chapter in private if there is a chance you could be busted at work. Hope you like!

** Chapter 12 “Crazy Over You” **

 

 

_I love your body_

_and the way you move your hips_

_Your lips are honey_

_You're a candy flavored kiss_

_Baby you're sweet like a Sunday afternoon_

_I'm goin' crazy cause I'm crazy over you_

“Only Everything” - Marc Broussard

 

** JPOV **

 

-0-

 

The day is dragging by. It feels like weeks have passed since I last saw Ness instead of the few hours it has actually been. Memories of the last few days flood my mind, making me even more anxious to get back to her.

 

While being separated from Ness has never been easy, now that I’ve had a taste of her it’s not just my heart that is aching at her absence. My intention has always been to take things slow, but I’m learning that isn’t what she wants. After our kiss in Lillah’s hospital room, I don’t know if I’ll be able to slow things down. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s complicated balancing my need for her and remembering that she’s still a “teenager” living with her parents. Parents that will literally rip me apart if they knew what I was thinking about doing to their daughter; or what I’ve already done with their daughter. As understanding as Bella has been so far, I’m pretty sure she’d tear me apart if she knew how badly I want to rip Ness’ clothes off and devour her; Edward wouldn’t hesitate to help her.

 

Slamming the hood down on the car, I glance up at the clock. Barely ten minutes have passed since the last time I checked. The time apart today is crawling by, and it has only helped support my decision to go wherever Ness wants to go. Being apart is not an option.

 

“What’s next?” I ask Sam, handing over the keys to the car I just finished up.

 

When he turns to face me, he pauses for a second then starts laughing. When he doesn’t stop I take a deep breath, doing my best not to get frustrated, “What?”

 

“Shit, sorry man,” he rubs his hand across his face, attempting to stop laughing. “This is your first day away from her, isn’t it? I mean, since you told her.”

 

“Yeah,” I groan, unable to hide my growing agitation.

 

He hands me a set of keys, “In that case, go fix the steering system in this car. The tie rods are shot at the very least, but the system needs a complete overhaul.”

 

Taking the keys from him, I don’t comment. I’m just thankful for the distraction. I wave over my shoulder at him as I walk away. This project should take the rest of the day and all of my concentration to diagnose the problem.

 

“Hey Jake!”

 

I look back at Sam and he has an understanding look on his face. “We’ve all been there. Talking to her helps the time pass a little faster. Just make sure you still get your work done.”

 

“Thanks man,” I say, nodding as I head to the car on the other side of the shop. Once I reach the car I pocket the keys and pull my phone out. I type out the first thing that comes to my mind and hit send.

 

_I miss your sweet lips ~J_

 

To distract myself I start grabbing all the tools I could possibly need on this job. Just as I roll the creeper over next to the car, my phone beeps. Pulling the phone from my pocket, I can feel myself grinning in excitement over what she might have said back to me. However, my face quickly changes when I open the message.

 

I’m pretty sure I have that fish mouth thing going on as my jaw drops in shock and I repeatedly work to pull it back up. Ness has sent me a picture of herself blowing me a kiss. It’s not like it’s provocative but it is sexy as hell. _Her lips. Her. Lips_. Those lips that drive me crazy; those lips I think about constantly are puckered up, coming through the phone right for me.

 

As if the picture isn’t enough to kill me, I groan when I read her included message.

 

_They miss you too! ~N_

 

Does she have any idea what she does to me? I mean, really? I’m fighting myself to stay where I am, when all I want to do is go find her. Find her and show her how much I’ve missed her today. Instead, I tap out a response and try to remember my responsibilities.

 

_Be happy to remind those lips how much I luv them 2night ~J_

 

I pause before I send the message I’ve typed out. _Is it too much? Will she get what I’m saying?_ There’s nothing wrong with a little flirting, and I do love her lips. I press send before I can second guess myself any more.

 

I pocket my phone before she responds. Even though he was pretty understanding, I don’t want to push my luck with Sam. The vibration and alert tone signal Ness has replied just as I use the creeper to roll beneath the hood of the car. I don’t pull my phone out to check the message, forcing myself to work. As much as I’m dying to see her response, I need to look forward to something to make the time pass faster.

 

I sigh intermittently as I work, the waiting text burning a hole in my pocket.

 

_It’s going to be a long day._

 

-0-

 

By the time I’ve finished my shift at the shop I’m vibrating in anticipation. I almost don’t bother stopping to shower before heading to see Ness. But when I look down at my filthy clothes I decide to take the time. She deserves more than me in a dirty t-shirt and jeans. Pulling my phone from my pocket I read the new text that has been teasing me all day. Running a hand over my face I groan in frustration.

 

_I look forward to it. More than you know. ~N_

 

My car smells like Ness and it’s distracting me during the short drive home. I can’t help but inhale her sweet scent, and think about her mouth until I have to shift my hips because my pants are uncomfortable, again. The change in our relationship is so fucking exciting, but it has happened so quickly that I feel like I’m a step behind, running to keep up. The last two days have been tortuous; all because she’s switched gears on me, from shy girl that has never been kissed to a temptress that demands more. I never would have guessed she’d act like this; flirt, beg me to kiss her, want my hands on her. Remembering this new side to my girl is hot as hell and just serves to turn me on even more.

 

By the time I get inside I’m hard as a rock. Yanking my shirt over my head I toss it into the empty basket. I groan when the zipper of my jeans drags against my cock as I rid myself of those too. There’s a level of relief I know all too well when I pull my boxer briefs off and I springfree.

 

My hand and my dick are good friends, but I haven’t been this hard in a while, and I’ve _never_ been hard like this because of Ness. Flipping on the shower I wait for the water to heat before stepping in. I try to ignore my dick while I soap up my hands and start washing my body. Moving my hands down my chest, to my stomach I realize I can’t ignore the desire coursing through my veins. Her mouth in that picture has been torturing me for too long today. I wrap my fingers around my stiff flesh, hesitating only a little before stroking down.

 

 _Shit. God that feels good._ I know it would feel even better if it weren’t my own hand touching my skin. I don’t know that Ness and I are ready for that kind of thing just yet, but it doesn’t hurt to think about it. At least, I don’t think it does. _Fuck._ Tracing the veins of my erection I work to get myself off. Running my palm over the head of my cock, then back down to the base. _Jesus fuck that feels good_. I move my hand faster, my body full of desperation now.

 

I really just need to finish this so I can dress and get to Ness. _Fuck._ Ness. _Her lips_. So sweet and soft and-- My head falls against the shower wall as I come all over my hand. _Well. That didn’t take long at all; I should probably be ashamed of myself_.

 

I wash off quickly, trying to ignore the fact that all it took was the thought of her lips to get me off. If we move much past kissing, at this rate, I’m probably going to embarrass myself in front of her.

 

Once I dry off and get dressed, I grab my phone, surprised to see a new message from Ness.

 

_I’m at the main house. Hurry up, I want to kiss you. ~N_

 

Fucking hell. I don’t hesitate, jumping in the car and hauling ass to get to my imprint as soon as possible.

 

-0-

 

Just as I turn off the main road I see Edward standing there. As tempting as it is to try to run him over, I know he’ll cause more damage to my car than my car will to him.

 

“Jacob.” Edward says calmly as I exit the car. I slowly walk toward him, a frown on my face. Before I can even ask what he wants, he begins talking.

 

“Renesmee and Bella are talking. I thought we should do the same since we have a minute.”

 

I wait cautiously, having no clue what it is that Edward wants to talk to me about. Any other time we’ve had a private discussion it has left me shredded on the inside. “What is it Edward?”

 

“I just need to know what your intentions are with my daughter.”

 

The question leaves me fighting the urge to laugh. It’s like we’re stuck in a historical novel. “My intentions?”

 

“Yes, are you serious about following her to Seattle?”

 

I inhale deeply. I’m not sure if Edward knows about me wanting to go to Seattle with her because she told him or because he picked it out of her brain. While technically it doesn’t matter how he found out, it would help me understand where he’s coming from right now.

 

“She told me.” He doesn’t expand so I just nod, not commenting on his habit of picking through _my_ mind. Since Ness told him, I think I can answer without any hesitation. Maybe this will ease some of the tension surrounding everyone, especially Ness; I don’t like that she is in the middle of my ongoing disagreement with Edward.

 

“I’m serious about anything regarding her. If I need to follow her to Seattle, I’ll do it happily.” I stop, considering my next words while Edward and I stare at each other. “Maybe I’ll even work on getting my GED, since I never went back to school on the Rez after-- everything.”

 

This seems to surprise Edward. He tilts his head back, sizing me up before speaking again. “I can help you with that. If you would like. Are you interested in furthering your education beyond your GED?”

 

The change in Edward’s tone and the ease I see in his face surprises me. As I thought about joining Ness in Seattle today a random idea popped into my mind; what if I not only joined her in Seattle, but joined her at school? Higher education never held much appeal for me, but being with Ness all day, every day-- that _is_ appealing.

 

Edward sighs, “Never mind, clearly you are just interested in being next to her all day.”

 

“Hey! Would you stop jumping to conclusions? Just because being with her is the appealing part doesn’t mean I’m not interested in an education.” Leaning back against the car I cross my arms over my chest, “If she’s interested in learning, then so am I. I want to be able to talk about things she’s passionate about, and that only comes from learning alongside her.”

 

His eyes narrow for the briefest of seconds then his face clears and he gives me a slight nod. “Thank you for clarifying. I’ll make a few phone calls to see what I can do to help.”

 

I’m hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he’s coming to accept my changing relationship with his daughter.

 

“On a separate note, I do understand that there is a very-- physical-- element to imprinting.” My entire body goes on alert, concerned for where Edward might take this conversation. I’m surprised when he rolls his eyes at me, “All I was going to say was I know you and Renesmee have kissed.” My eyes go wide in fear. _Shit. This can’t be good._ I brace myself for his worst. “I’m not thrilled, of course, but I understand. I just wanted to say thank you for being respectful by restraining yourself from kissing her in front of us.”

 

 _What just happened?_ My brain is in shock over this entire conversation. Edward knowing I’ve kissed his daughter is surprising; what’s even more surprising is he hasn’t ripped my balls off.

 

He clears his throat, “I’m trying to be more understanding of your relationship, for Renesmee’s sake. I would give her the world if she wanted it. However, it appears what she wants most is to be by your side. Whether I like it or not, that is the reality of the situation we are in now. As Bella has so eloquently pointed out, I can either get on board with this or lose her completely, the choice is mine.”

 

I’m too stunned to say anything. It seems, at least for the moment, that Edward is coming to accept my relationship with Ness.

 

“I do not want to lose her, so I’m getting on board. However, I ask that you do continue to be respectful that we are still her parents. If I hear things between you and Renesmee are going too-- far, I will step in.”

 

This somehow jump starts my brain. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Edward rolls his eyes at me before turning around and walking away. I’m just about to scream at him when I hear him speaking, “It means, I _will_ rip your balls off if you get anywhere close to having sex with her.”

 

Before I can say anything further, he’s gone, running through the woods.

 

 

That was an enlightening conversation.

 

It also served as an effective method of turning me off completely. I’m not surprised by this reaction from Edward, more concerned how long he plans to hold his threat over my head. I know one thing, no way in hell am I telling Ness about that last part. I want her to be on good terms with her family. Based on our conversations and her pushing me for more constantly, if she knew about Edward’s threat, I’m not sure she’d ever speak to her father again.

 

-0-

 

As much as my conversation with Edward deflated my dick, it had no impact on my excitement to be with Ness tonight. I’ve missed her.

 

When I pull up to the house, Bella comes bouncing down the stairs of the front porch, grinning. “She’s inside waiting for you. I’m forcing Edward to take me out on a motorcycle ride tonight, which means I’m trusting you to behave. We’ll be back by midnight.”

 

“Thanks, Bells.”

 

Her smile is blinding as she dashes past me. As my feet hit the top step of the porch I hear a motorcycle fire up. At least for the next couple of hours, I have my imprint all to myself. My body tingles with excitement, but I try to ignore it as I make my way into the house.

 

When I walk in, the living room is empty. “Ness?” I speak softly, though my voice echoes through the large space.

 

“In the kitchen,” she calls back. The deep breathy sound of her voice alerts me; she’s excited that I’m here, which turns me on. I can hear the anticipation in her voice. When I round the corner hands grab my shirt and pull. I catch that she’s sitting on the counter just as I manage to brace my hands against the edge; her knees press against my hips and she tugs at my shirt again. I don’t fight the momentum of my body, leaning forward until her lips are against mine.

 

It starts out slow and sweet. Her mouth is shy and tentative until I deepen the kiss. It doesn’t take long for her to respond. She tastes just as sweet as I remember. With my mind still catching up my body takes over. My hand jerks from the counter to her hair, tugging on her silky strands as my tongue pushes into her mouth. Her hands drift to my neck. When I feel her nails again digging into my skin, my other hand moves to her thigh. I’m expecting jeans like earlier, so when I feel bare flesh lust kicks into overdrive. I let my fingers dance over her smooth thigh; running over the muscles beneath her delicate skin. I have no clue what she is wearing, but I know I’m way too close to going over the edge with her. It takes all of my might to move my fingertips away from the edge of the fabric of what she’s wearing. When I reach her bare knee, I lift it and lean into her.

 

Releasing her lips I hear the sweet sound of her moaning my name. I groan, the sound bouncing and vibrating around us. Her body arches, pressing her against my chest. She’s likely going to make me lose my mind. _I want her._ And the realization that we’ve gotten this far so fast shocks me. The only saving grace is that we are both fully clothed. If even one stitch of clothing was removed, I would not be able to stop us. Despite Edward’s words, my need for her is uncontrollable. The best I can do is slow us down. _For now._

 

Reluctantly, I remove my hand from her knee to cup her face, “That’s one hell of a welcoming.” Our panting breaths meld together between our open mouths. When I look into her eyes they are bright and wide and full of-- _damn._

 

“I wanted to surprise you,” Ness grins wickedly at me before tugging my lips back to hers. This kiss is just as intense but I manage to keep my hands above her waist. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from locking her legs around my hips and pulling me closer. Dropping my head I let my chin rest on my chest. My hips jerk and I feel the heat radiating from between her thighs. It feels so good I think my head may explode. _Erm._ _Both_ of them.

 

I kiss beneath her jaw and place my hands on her hips, moving just under her shirt. She shifts her ass, scooting closer to the edge of the counter. Her hands move down my neck to my shoulders, trailing beneath the edge of my t-shirt. Short fingernails scrape against my skin; goosebumps pop up on the back of my neck and down my arms. Her fingers drift down my arms while I watch her face closely. She looks serious and awestruck. When she reaches the bend of my elbow and moves down the inside of my forearm, my dick jumps. _How did she find that spot so quickly?_

 

Needing space I take a step back and gulp in air. Ness pouts at me but I shake my head slowly, speaking softly, “I know, but we need to slow down. This is too much too soon.”

 

“Jake,” she whispers, “what’s wrong with kissing?”

 

“Absolutely nothing,” I whisper back, tucking her soft hair behind her ear, “but you know we weren’t _just_ kissing.”

 

She gives me a smile, “Ok, fine, then what’s wrong with making out?”

 

“We weren’t just making out, either,” I return her smile.

 

Her hand slides along my cheek, her question a breathy sigh in my mind, “Then what were we doing, Jacob?”

 

My hands find her hips, holding her tight where she sits. I step closer but make sure we are nowhere near touching. Dropping my forehead against hers, I whisper, “We were having sex with our clothes on.”

 

Now it’s her turn to do the fish mouth thing. Once she pulls herself together, she laughs at me and shakes her head no. I drop a kiss on her lips before whispering, “There was nothing wrong with it, but if I didn’t stop us, I wasn’t far from removing your clothes.” Glancing down, I manage to see she’s wearing shorts and not a skirt. While I’m relieved, that extra bit of fabric between her legs wouldn’t have been enough of a barrier to stop me.

 

“Jacob?” she asks in my mind. She flashes the picture of my face tilted down away from her, asking what I’m thinking.

 

Taking a deep breath I explain myself, “When I touched your thigh before, I thought you still had on your jeans. I wasn’t expecting bare skin. I fought myself to keep from moving higher up your thigh. Under your shorts.” She shivers in my arms as her hand on my face shows me the white hot electricity coursing through her body at my words. Hazy visions of me pushing her shirt up and off fill my head. “Oh fuck,” I groan, taking a huge step back from her. She’s still turned on and wanting more. Fuck fuck. _Fuck_.

 

“Jake?” Her hand reaches out for me but I shake my head side to side.

 

I find a spot to lean against just out of her reach and continue explaining, forcing myself to be brutally honest with her, “I was looking to see what you were wearing.” I explain, finally answering her unasked question. “If it had been a skirt Ness, I-- my hands would be between your legs right now. Even with shorts-- I’m pretty sure I’d be tearing through those things to get to you if we hadn’t stopped.”

 

Clutching my hands into fists I press them hard against my eyes, doing my best to reign in my out-of-control body.

 

“I’m sorry, Jacob.”

 

My eyes jerk open and I’m surprised to see Ness standing in my field of vision. And even more surprised for her to be apologizing. As if she needs to. She steps closer, her hand cupping my cheek. Instead of hearing her voice in my mind, it fills the room. “When you touch me, all I can think of is wanting more. I hear you say we need to slow down, but I don’t know how to.”  She looks sheepish when she speaks her next words. “I don’t know if I _want_ to slow down.”

 

I’m about to open my mouth to speak when I hear her repeat my words about having my hands between her legs. My body is shaking even before she speaks clearly in my mind, “I want you to touch me like you just described and I-- want to touch you in the same way.”

 

Her words take the breath from my lungs. I can’t speak. It’s nearly impossible for me to have a coherent thought, not to mention make my lips form actual _words_. I stutter her name. “N-n-Ness, you can’t say that shit to-- m-m-me.” _Damnit to fucking hell._

 

My dick throbs at the mere mention of her hands on me like that. But good GOD, just the thought of mine on her nearly sends me into convulsions. Her skin slick with arousal, hot and needy for _me_. I shake my head, trying to clear it of images that sail through my mind. There’s still so much we haven’t discussed, plus her father’s threat earlier, that I have to stop us. Now. I can’t let things keep going like this.

 

Closing my eyes, I sigh in frustration. Saying “no” to her goes against everything in me, but right now, I have to protect her from herself. “We have forever, Ness.”

 

She bites her lip, which is fucking sexy as hell. I’m forcing myself not to lean down and replace her teeth with mine when she speaks, “I know Jake, but I don’t want to wait forever.”

 

Shaking my head, I quickly correct her, grinning, “It won’t be forever, Ness, trust me.”

 

“Then why do we have to slow down?” she pouts, stepping closer to me. My hands find her hips, stopping her just shy of pressing her full body against me. I’m doing everything I can to stay focused on the conversation at hand and not think about my dick throbbing. If she were to lean against me now, I don’t think I’d have the strength to stop her.

 

I give her my best, most reassuring smile, “It’s just for a little while, Tathut. Let things settle down with your parents, figure out our next steps.” Taking a deep breath I brace myself to be flat out honest with her, “As much as I want you, I’m selfish. Right now, I have to share you with your parents; they are going to be back in a few hours. When we have sex it will be when there is no chance in hell anyone will bother us and when I can have you for hours on end without interruption.”

 

As I watch, her eyelids lower and her whole body shivers. I hear the echo of my words _hours on end_ as her hand slides down my neck. This sends a shiver through my body straight to my dick. Groaning, I take her hand from my skin and lean forward, careful not to let any other part of my body touch her as I gently slide my lips over hers. She continues to send flashes of my words through to me but I can feel that she is starting to understand why now isn’t the right time, no matter how much we both want _more_.

 

Slowly I release her lips and lean back. Neither of us says anything as we catch our breaths for a few minutes. Once I feel like my body is close to being back under control, I pull Ness into my arms. Her arms wrap around my waist while she presses her face into my chest. The quiet is soothing, neither of us needing to talk, both just holding on to the other.

 

The silence is broken by the very clear grumble of my stomach. I feel her body shake with laughter as her hand moves from my back to my stomach, “Didn’t you just fill this thing up earlier today?”

 

It feels good to laugh with her, “This morning!”

 

“Didn’t you eat lunch?” she asks, tilting her head up to me.

 

“Nope,” brushing my lips across hers I grin, “I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible.”

 

“Fair enough,” she giggles, “Mom and I made dinner.”

 

Letting go of her is not my first choice, but my stomach grumbles again and I have to admit, I am hungry. We sit at the dining table and eat quietly. The food fills my stomach, but I barely taste what is passing my lips. My focus is solely on her. It’s nearly impossible to keep my eyes off of her beautiful and delicate face. When she catches me looking she lifts an eyebrow in question. When I wiggle mine in reply, her cheeks darken and she leans her head against my shoulder. She stays there until I finish my food, which I don’t mind at all.

 

Once I finish eating and we clean up, we decide to play a board game, something we haven’t done in a while. Ness chooses LIFE, because she likes the little cars and the peg people. She sets the game up, both of us sitting on the floor next to each other. I want to pull her into my lap, but appease myself by playing with her hair. When her little car stops at the point where she has to decide between college and a career she glances up at me, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

 

“It’s a game, Ness,” I try to reassure her, but I can see the concern clearly in her eyes.

 

She sighs, “I know, Jake, but-- I don’t want it unless you are there.”

 

Leaning over, I place my lips softly against hers. Before we can go too far, I pull back and whisper, “Don’t worry, I’ll be there. I told you, I’ll follow you anywhere.”

 

“Anywhere?” she whispers in my mind. I don’t get what she means until I see her start leaning back. When she is fully stretched out on the floor in front of me, I hear her voice in my mind, “Kiss me, Jacob.” Without question, my body follows her instructions, leaning over her and easily finding those sweet lips of hers.

 

Everything in me screams to let go, lower my body down to meet hers, but I know better. My arms are shaking fighting to keep myself from giving in to the temptation below me. Her arms around my neck pull me closer but I fight against that tug. I hate this, but I know I can’t get sucked in; especially since I’m the one that has to stop us before we go too far.

 

Her eyes pop open and she narrows her gaze right at me, “Come on, Jake. I just want to make out with you. All other teenage girls get to make out with their--.”

 

Grinning, I lower my head so that our noses are touching, “Hmmm...what word are you looking for Ness?”

 

“Stop teasing, Jacob,” she blushes but then looks me straight in the eye. “Boyfriend. Other teenage girls get to make out with their boyfriends.”

 

“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, Tathut?” I ask, laughing as her cheeks turn a bright pink color.

 

Her eyes jump between mine and the smile on my lips, a little unsure, “I have to ask you to be my boyfriend? You imprinted on me, isn’t it just-- automatic?”

 

“I suppose,” I shrug, “but it’s still nice to be asked.”

 

When I wink at her she shakes her head and starts giggling. She pulls her lower lip into her mouth before her eyes meet mine. There’s something in her eyes that warns me she has an idea, but just as I recognize it, she’s speaking.

 

“Fine. I’ll ask, but I want something for asking.”

 

“You get me as your boyfriend if you ask. What more could you want?” I ask, though I know I’m in trouble. She has a plan and I’m not sure of my ability to deny her.

 

She licks her lips and I know I’m a goner. My eyes are locked on her lips when she speaks again, “I want you to let go. I-- want you to lay down with me here on the floor. No more holding back, I want to feel all of you against me. I know we can’t go too far, but I want as much of you as I can have.”

 

Grinding my teeth I force myself to look her in the eye, “What happens if I can’t stop? You-- Ness, I want you. If I let go, I don’t think I can stop until I have you. All of you.”

 

Her entire body shakes as my words sink in. She takes a deep breath then looks up at me, certainty in her eyes, “I trust you, Jake. I know without a doubt you won’t let us go too far. But if you are worried, I promise I’ll stop you before we go too far.”

 

“What’s too far, Ness? You keep telling me you want more.” I’m shaking my head, unsure if I can grant her this request, but desperate to give her what she wants.

 

She giggles as her eyes dart around my face, avoiding my eyes, “How about I promise to stop us if any clothes below the waist get removed?”

 

My eyebrows shoot up, “If _any_ clothes are removed we’ve already gone too far.”

 

She shakes her head, laughing, “Then it’s your job to stop us before that happens. But I absolutely promise I’ll stop us if we reach-- that point.” She sighs, “Jake, I do want more, but I understand what you mean about there being limits right now. I trust you to slow us down, but I promise you, I will stop if we go too far.”

 

I have no idea what to say. I want to agree to her terms but I’m still worried. My faith in my ability to stop is shaken. She keeps pushing me one step closer to the edge and every time we approach that ledge she somehow manages to find a way to push me even closer. Not that I’m complaining, but it still scares the hell out of me. My body and heart scream for her, but in my mind Edward’s threat is still fresh.

 

“Jacob, will you be my boyfriend?”

 

The decision is taken out of my hands. My silence was all she needed to take control of the situation. By not saying anything, I agreed to her terms and she knows she’s going to get what she wants. I could still say no, but my girl has kept her part of the bargain, asking me. Honestly I don’t want to hold back from her any longer. My job now is to figure out how to let go with her while still being in control of the situation. _No problem. I can do this._

 

_I’m in so fucking much trouble._

 

“Of course, Ness.”

 

When she grins up at me I know I’m screwed, but I give her what she asked for. My arms relax and I slowly lower my body down to meet hers. I start by kissing her, our lips meeting as her arms reach around my neck again, her fingers twisting in my hair as she pulls me lower. Slowly I let my chest sink against hers. Just that touch makes her gasp, her back arching up from the floor to meet me. Those tight nipples of hers tease me.

 

“More. All.” Those two words are practically shouted in my mind. As much as I want to hold back, go slow, all thought escapes my brain at her request. The rest of my body lowers to her. Without thought, my hips push forward, my obvious erection pressed into her thigh.

 

When she pulls her lips back from mine, gasping, my first thought is I’ve gone too far; this has scared her. However, she proves my worry wrong when she lifts her leg to wrap it around my hip. She then shocks the hell out of me by biting her lip just before I feel her lift her hips up just slightly. My hips meet hers without hesitation. My name falling from her lips on a soft moan pushes me forward.

 

Without planning it, my lips are rough against hers, demanding more. My tongue makes it way into her mouth. Her short nails dig into my back as she lifts her whole body, pressing herself against me as tight as possible. I keep getting flashes of how her body is reacting; she feels like her skin is on fire, she’s itching to remove my shirt, she wants me to remove her shirt.

 

The more she shares with me, the more I want to give her these things. My hand is pushing her shirt up when something very different pops into my mind.

 

_Bella is standing in the kitchen of this very house, stirring something in a pot. She looks up, almost like she’s looking into my own eyes. “Talk to Jacob about it, but I think he’d agree with me. You two need to be prepared, Renesmee.”_

 

_“Mom, we’ve only kissed,” I hear Ness whisper._

 

_Bella shakes her head, “I know, but I’d rather you take care of this now, while you are still only kissing. It shouldn’t be an afterthought once you two are--,” she waves her hand, “ready to be together.” Bella pauses then looks back up, “I’ll talk to Carlisle, I’m sure he’d be happy to help you figure out the best method of birth control for you and Jacob. I just want you to be safe, baby.”_

 

I push myself away from Ness, landing on the floor next to her, gasping for breath. I force my eyes closed, trying to work through what she just showed me.

 

“Jacob?” she asks softly. I can feel her sitting up now, leaning over me. “Is everything ok, Jake?”

 

My mind is racing and I have no idea how to respond to her. My first thought is anger at myself for not even considering birth control. Even though Ness and I have talked about eventually wanting to have sex, it never even entered my mind to think about the consequences of those actions. Obviously, I know about the birds and the bees, but my only thought was being with her. The fact that protecting her from _that_ didn’t enter my brain both pisses me off and scares the hell out of me. _What else haven’t I considered that could harm her?_

 

My second thought is a realization that I don’t even know if she wants to-- someday-- have kids. I’ve only considered my need to be with her and what she wants to do right this second. I never even thought to ask what she wants down the road. I think I’d like to have kids with her at some point, but I don’t know if she does.

 

Pulling myself together I open my eyes. She’s hovering over me, worry evident in her eyes. Taking a deep breath I speak on an exhale, “You and your mom talked about birth control?”

 

“OH!” She turns bright red and leans back away from me. I sit up, careful not to touch her right away, but make sure she’s not out of my reach. She glances up at me shyly, “I was going to mention it to you-- later.” She shakes her head, her neck and face still bright with her blush, “I really need to figure out how to control-- _this_ with you.”

 

My hand glides along her cheek, “I don’t want you to control it, I just want you to feel comfortable talking to me about these things. I’m sorry I didn’t consider it sooner. I should have--.”

 

“Shh, Jake, it’s fine,” her hand cups the one against her face. “I honestly didn’t think about it either until she mentioned it. Um, she wants me to talk to Granddaddy Carlisle this weekend.”

 

Nodding I look her in the eye, “I think that’s a good idea, if that’s what you want.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

She looks worried and I rush to speak, not wanting to upset her, “I just mean if-- I don’t know-- we haven’t talked about our future. Do you want--.” Stopping, I pull myself together before continuing. “If you don’t want to have kids right away, then talking to Carlisle about birth control is something we should do.”

 

She lowers her head, so I’m barely able to make out her whispered words, “Do you want to have kids?”

 

Sighing, I lean forward, lifting her chin until she looks at me. My lips slide over hers briefly. When I pull back just barely, my thumb replaces my lips as I speak, “Maybe, someday. Ness, I want to give you whatever you want. If you told me you want kids right now, I’d probably hesitate, only because I don’t want to share you with anyone else. But in five years, ten years, if that’s what you want, then it’s what I want too.”

 

“Someday?” she asks, a small smile crossing her lips.

 

“Sure. But until then, you mom is right, we need to consider our options.” I’m still angry with myself for not thinking about this earlier, but I’m glad we are discussing now.

 

“Ok. We’ll talk to Granddaddy Carlisle this weekend. About how I’m sharing stuff with you even without touching your face and-- birth control.”

 

I’m about to nod in agreement when I realize the timing has changed, “Weren’t you going to see him on Friday after dance?”

 

“Well, I was but now we are planning on staying the weekend. Aunt Alice got us tickets to a new gallery opening on Friday night.” She hesitates for just a second then smiles up at me, “I was hoping you’d join me there. Maybe as my date?”

 

“Hmmm,” I pretend to consider. “I guess as your boyfriend now, it is kind of my job to be your date to these types of things.”

 

“That’s very true. I’m sure there’s some sort of boyfriend’s guide that says you have to go to these types of things.” She leans forward, “Plus, I really like how you look in your suit.”

 

“Is that so?” I ask, laughing. I broke down and bought a nice suit a few years ago when Ness’ love of the arts became apparent.

 

“Yep. So you’ll come to Seattle? Please, Jake?”

 

This is an easy request to grant, “Ok, but this doesn’t count as our first date.”

 

“Why not?” she asks, obviously confused.

 

I nearly choke I’m laughing so hard, “Because we are going out with all of your vampire relatives. There is nothing romantic about that. I bet Blondie bites my head off if I even try to hold your hand.”

 

“Aunt Rose isn’t that bad,” she says but then pauses. She starts laughing too, “Ok, you’re probably right. So you are my date but it’s not our first date. Any hints you want to give me on when that will happen?”

 

“Nope.” She pouts but that quickly disappears when I kiss her. When we manage to separate I grin down at her, “I want to surprise you. Just be ready.”

 

“I’m always ready to be surprised,” she giggles.

 

We manage to return our focus to the game, though we do get distracted periodically. Her jaw drops when I pick the college route. I shrug, “If I have the opportunity, I’m going to take it.” She leaps into my lap then, kissing all over my face. When we finally break apart again, I refuse to let her move from her spot.

 

We finish up the game and decide to watch a movie since we still have a couple of hours before her parents return. She picks up one movie and flashes the cover at me, “Dad hates this movie.”

 

She has “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” in her hands. I can’t help laughing, “Let me guess, Emmett plays that movie all the time.”

 

“Yep,” she laughs as she returns the case to the shelf and keeps looking. She finally selects an action movie and slides the disc into the player.

 

I have the remote in my hand as she snuggles up on the couch with me. I’m about to hit play when I look down at her. She smiles softly, “What?”

 

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

 

She looks concerned as she sits up, “Ok. What?”

 

Taking a deep breath I admit to her something that only a few of my fellow wolves even know. “I’m not a-- virgin.”

 

Her face is clear of expression, which is rare for her. She doesn’t blush as she quietly considers my confession. Finally she glances up at me. “Ohhh-kay,” she says on a soft exhale.

 

“I’m sorry, Ness. It was a long time ago, before you were even born. When I got your parents wedding invitation I left. I tried everything I could think of to forget my life here. I thought maybe if I met someone else it would help. So I found a woman in a bar. I didn’t know her name and I didn’t ask. In the back of my mind I knew she wasn’t what I wanted, but I needed to forget, figure out how to move on.” I shake my head, unable to meet her eyes any longer, “I was trying to feel something that I didn’t. As soon as you were born I realized why I felt nothing. She meant nothing to me, but-- I needed you to know, Ness.”

 

She’s quiet for what seems like an hour, but in reality is just a couple of minutes. She brushes her hand over my cheek finally, whispering in my mind, “You didn’t love her, right?”

 

“No.”

 

She bites her lip as another question is spoken softly in my head, “Have you been with anyone-- since then?”

 

“No. I knew after it happened it was a mistake, it didn’t fix the underlying problem. After you were born-- well, I couldn’t _see_ any other women.”

 

“And you were, careful? Used-- protection?” She seems to barely choke out the words, even speaking them in my mind.

 

“Yes, I used a condom.”

 

She nods but doesn’t say anything else. I’m really scared as the silence stretches on, “Ness, are you ok? Please say something.”

 

“What have you done since then?”

 

This completely confuses me, I have no idea what she means, “What?”

 

“You know,” her eyes catch mine and I see the blush rising up her neck, “when you are--.” She gulps in a breath of air then rushes out her words, “When you’re aroused, what have you done if you haven’t been with anyone else?”

 

“Ohhhhh.” I draw out, finally catching on to her meaning. Her eyes again dart to mine and I do my best to hold her gaze, “You really want to know?”

 

She closes her eyes then nods. I lean forward and whisper softly against her ear, “Up until today I’d clear my mind of all thoughts and slide my hand over myself until I came.”

 

She inhales sharply. As I lean back I see her eyes fly open and dart down to my crotch. When she realizes I’m watching her she locks her eyes on my nose, “Sorry, I just-- wow.” She breathes in a few times then lifts her eyes up to mine, “What do you mean ‘up until today’? Was today-- different?”

 

“Very different.” She tilts her head, the blush covering her whole face now.

 

Her one word is so soft I barely recognize it in my mind, “Why?”

 

“Because today, instead of trying to think of nothing, I finally let myself think of you.”

 

Her eyes go wide and her tongue darts out to lick her lips. She opens her mouth to speak once or twice, but nothing comes out. Finally I hear her speaking in my mind again, “Really? And-- it worked?”

 

“Oh, it worked, very well,” I laugh as she looks at everything in the room but me. I capture her face, my lips meeting hers. She leans into me, her lips hot against mine from the blush that still covers her skin.

 

When we finally break apart for air, she leans back as she catches her breath. Once her breathing is fairly even, she glances up at me again, “I like that you thought about me.”

 

“Trust me, I liked thinking about you. It-- um, didn’t take much thinking about you to-- finish.”

 

She giggles, leaning her head against my chest as she again snuggles against me. “Jake,” she whispers a few minutes later.

 

“Yes, Tathut?”

 

Her hand returns to my cheek, “I was serious earlier. I want to touch you like that. I want my hand to-- move over you.”

 

I feel the growl emanating from my chest and can’t stop my hands from lifting her up in my lap. My hand captures the back of her head and I hold her steady as my lips quickly find hers. I’m much rougher than I plan on being, but she doesn’t seem to mind, meeting me at every point.

 

Somewhere along the way she ends up stretched out on the couch. My body is completely covering hers, but she has somehow managed to remove my shirt. Her fingers grip my back as her hips sway beneath mine, pushing up for more.

 

My fingers have found their way under her shirt to the edge of her bra. I’m just about to release the catch to free her breasts when I hear the distinct sound of a motorcycle turning off the main road. Groaning I force myself to lean back.

 

“What?” she gasps out.

 

“Parents,” I say as I pull my shirt back over my head, making sure it is loose around my crotch. She leaps up from the couch, grabs the remote and sets it to start playing the movie halfway through. By the time Edward and Bella walk in, she’s leaning against my shoulder, both of our eyes locked on the screen in front of us.

 

“Did you guys have a fun night?” Bella asks.

 

“Yep, we are just finishing this movie,” Ness grins at Bella.

 

I feel Edward’s eyes on me but I don’t look up. I hear him huff before he speaks, “Say goodnight once the movie is over.”

 

“Sure, Dad,” Ness whispers. I glance at her and she has a soft smile on her lips. However, her lips are red and swollen and I can clearly see her nipples through her shirt. I jerk my head back to the TV, hoping Edward didn’t catch these signs but sure he did. I’m really hoping that he doesn’t define _this_ as close to sex; I like having my balls attached to my body.

 

“Come on, Edward. We’ll see you back at the cottage, Renesmee. Goodnight, Jacob.” Bella pulls Edward out of the main house.

 

Once they leave the house Ness starts giggling. She leans back against me, her hand again on my cheek, “That was close.”

 

“Too close, you look like we’ve been making out all night. I’m sure your dad noticed.”

 

She pulls my face down to hers, kissing me slowly. “We _have been_ making out all night. He probably did notice, but really, what can he do?”

 

“Tear me apart?” I offer, laughing at how easily she blows off the fact that her father recognized what we’ve been doing all night.

 

She sits up straight and looks me in the eye. There isn’t laughter on her face now. “He’ll have to come through me first. I’m serious, Jacob. I refuse to let him tell us what we can and cannot do any longer. I want to make out with my boyfriend and my father just needs to learn to deal with that.”

 

“Ok, Tathut, we won’t worry about that right now. Let’s just finish the movie.”

 

She settles against me again but a few minutes later I hear my own voice echoed in my mind, whispering, “Tathut.”

 

Before she can ask the question I lean over and whisper in her ear, “It means ‘heart’. You are my heart and you own my heart. You mean everything to me, Ness. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to live.”

 

I want to say more but she starts kissing me. We go slow this time, but ignore the remainder of the movie, spending our last bit of time together tonight kissing. Once the final credit rolls, we slowly separate.

 

We lock up the main house and I walk her down to the cottage. I give her a chaste kiss on the cheek before she walks in.

 

By the time I pull into my driveway, there’s a text message waiting for me.

 

_I can’t sleep. Call me when you get home. ~N_

 

I wait until I’ve stripped down and settled in the bed before I call her. We talk for a good twenty minutes before she starts yawning. I tell her another legend, finishing just as I hear her breathing even out in sleep.

 

Once I hang up, I climb out of bed and head for the bathroom. My thoughts revolve around tonight and it doesn’t take long before I’m screaming out her name as I come once again. Despite the release, my dick is still rock hard as I climb back in bed. Unfortunately, I know this won’t change until I can finally have her, which won’t happen until I can officially move her into this house and make it our home.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** *whistles innocently* Click that little review button when you can think straight again. Also, our beta left you a little note too. Hehe.

 

 **B/N: *sings*** Jacob & Ness sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G … *snort* 


	13. Falling For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still just us
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the delay on this one. We got a bit behind then our betas were busy with work and life. A day late, but we think you’ll agree it is worth it! You can always check out our twitter (StupidLeeches) for updates or delay announcements or just to ask us questions. We are always around!

** Chapter 13 “Falling For You” **

 

_I don't know but..._

_I think I maybe_

_fallin' for you_

_Dropping so quickly_

_Maybe I should_

_keep this to myself_

 

_Waiting 'til I.._

_know you better_

_I am trying.._

_Not to tell you.._

_But I want to.._

“Fallin’ For You” - Colbie Caillat

** NPOV **

 

-0-

 

My alarm goes off early Friday morning and I eagerly jump from the bed, excited for the day and weekend ahead. I quickly prep my dance bag for today, but don’t bother to pack a bag for the weekend. It’s useless, Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie will have me all new clothes and everything else a girl could need waiting for me in Seattle.

 

I’m practically bouncing as I get ready because I’m so happy. This week seemed to drag on, but then magically jump to warp speed whenever Jacob and I were together. Our time with one another hasn’t been nearly enough. I don’t know how he managed before he told me about being his imprint, because I feel completely lost without him around. When he’s at work, I’ve done my best to stay busy, but the time moved at a snail’s pace. I’ve filled two whole sketch books this week alone. Most pages contain pictures of Jacob, but a few include the faces of my other friends.

 

I finally visited Lillah yesterday at home, just to see how she was doing. She was released from the hospital on Tuesday, but I wanted to give her time to get settled before visiting. Of course, when I said that to her, she scoffed at me. We didn’t get much time to talk, but she made me promise to re-start our daily visits next week when Embry returns to work. That was an easy promise to make. She also requested I give her a full rundown of what has happened so far with Jacob and what happens this weekend. My face turned bright red at the suggestion. She blushed and told me I didn’t have to give her _every_ detail, but she did want to catch up.

 

I am eager to talk to her about everything, but at the same time I don’t know that I can actually share what has been happening with Jacob and I with her; at least not without choking on my words and blushing the entire time. It’s one thing to make out with your boyfriend, it’s another to describe making out with your boyfriend to a friend.

 

I can see my blush creeping up my cheeks in the mirror at just the thought of talking to her about these things. I shake my head at my reflection, laughing at my own embarrassment. I know I’ll talk to Lillah about it, because I am eager to get her perspective on things, but that’d doesn’t make it any easier to broach the subject. My only hope is that Rachel isn’t there when we are talking. I’d never to able to get my words out with Jacob’s sister sitting there.

 

The knock on the cottage door is soft, but I hear it easily. I’m about to step from my spot in the bathroom when I hear the door opening and soft voices speaking in the living room. Instead of moving I squeak in excitement and finish getting ready as quickly as I can.

 

When I make my way out into the living room a few minutes later, I’m surprised to see Jacob standing there alone, but before I can ask, he gives me a grin.

 

“They went hunting, said they’d see us in Seattle tonight.”

 

I drop my bag and run straight into his arms; he’s ready for me, just like always. His lips meet mine as his arms wrap around me, holding me tight against his chest. My fingers slide into his hair, pulling his head even closer to mine, trying to touch every part of him.

 

Before we can lose ourselves in the kiss though, he’s pulling back. He plays with my hair as he grins at me, “Hi, ready for dance?”

 

Sighing, I drop my head to his shoulder. “What?” he asks, confusion evident in his voice.

 

“I’m ready, I just-- I don’t like being apart. It’s one thing for me to be here when you are working, but what are you going to do while I’m at dance?”

 

His lips press softly against my forehead before I feel his hand slide from my hair to my cheek. “You worry too much, Tathut. I don’t like being apart either, but it makes our time together even more special.”

 

Biting my lip I look up at him, “I don’t think we are going to get much time together this weekend. My family...”

 

“Your family will just have to get over it, because we will get some time together this weekend. Like it or not, we are a couple now; we don’t need their approval to be together. Your dad is starting to come around, the rest of them will just have to do the same.” His words are spoken so softly but the power behind them sends a shiver down my spine.

 

“Promise?” I ask through my hands still clasped around his neck.

 

He grins, “You can’t get rid of me, Tathut. And neither can Blondie.”

 

“Be nice to Aunt Rose or she might have Uncle Emmett attack you,” I warn, with a smile as he slowly lowers me back to the ground.

 

“Please, I dealt with your mom when she was a newborn. Emmett is nothing compared to her.”

 

He grabs my bag from the floor and glances up at me, “This it?”

 

“Yeah, everything else I can get up there.”

 

He hesitates for a second then gives me an unsure smile, “You-- don’t want to bring a sketchbook?”

 

“I considered it--,” I answer, surprised he thought of it.

 

“I won’t look if you don’t want me to, if that’s what you are worried about.” He’s very serious, but even without his words I trust him.

 

I shrug, “I know, it’s just-- I tend to fill my books up pretty quickly. Bringing two seemed silly, but I know I’ll probably fill up at least one.”

 

“Go get them, I’d rather you be distracted on the car ride. That way I can _try_ to stay focused on driving,” he gives me a wink.

 

My blush returns but I don’t comment, ducking into my room to grab two fresh sketchbooks and my favorite pencils. Once I’m back in the living room he takes the books from me; giving me one more soft kiss then leads me out to his car.

 

-0-

 

Jacob stops in front of the Pacific Northwest Ballet school with just enough time for me to lean over, give him a quick peck on the lips then run into the building. As I’m changing for my first class my phone buzzes with a text message.

 

_Try to enjoy yourself, but know I miss you already. Lunch? ~J_

 

My smile is automatic as I type back a quick response to him.

 

_Miss you too. Yes, please. ~N_

 

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look that happy.”

 

My smile grows even wider as I recognize the adorable slight Southern accent of my teacher, Ivy. I quickly put my phone and bag in the locker before turning around to face her. She looks suspicious when I glance up.

 

“I am happy. Isn’t that allowed?” I ask with a laugh.

 

“No, I’m sorry. To be a ballerina you must always look like you are in complete pain and starving to death. That way no one will know when you really are in pain or starving.”

 

She chuckles at her own dry sarcasm then gives me a quick hug, “Come on, lesson time. You can fill me in over lunch on what has you grinning from ear to ear.”

 

“Oh--.” I hesitate for just a moment. She looks up at me with a knowing look in her eyes.

 

“You’re ditching me.” This is a statement, not a question. She drops her arms and leans back, a slight pout on her delicate face, “You mean I have to eat with the sticks again?”

 

The irony of her statement is not lost on me. She is just as much of a “stick” as the other dancers she’s referencing. She’s been a Soloist at PNB for two years now but from what she’s told me, she’s never fit in here. The other dancers already had established _cliques_ when she joined. Of course, it probably doesn’t help that she is a bit reserved, keeping to herself and focusing solely on her career.

 

I was honestly surprised when she first invited me out to lunch a few months ago. As we waited for our food to arrive, she shocked me with her directness. She sipped her tea as she explained the reason why she asked me to join. She had seen me walk in with an empty coffee cup from one of her favorite fast food restaurants. When she saw that, she figured I wouldn’t blink an eye at her ordering unhealthy food, unlike the girls she ate with the rest of the week.

 

Ivy was raised in the southeast, where fried and fatty foods were normal. Once she started dancing she learned quickly that the food she was raised on was not what her body needed. As she advanced in her profession she began to eat the same “rabbit food” as the other dancers, but occasionally craved the food she grew up on. In order to alleviate this craving, she allowed herself one day a week to eat “normal” food, but the few times she’d gone out with the other dancers on her fatty-food-Friday, they’d questioned her eating habits. They’d even gone so far as to report her to the Artistic Director, who promptly put her on the scales and ran her through a battery of physical tests. When they couldn’t find anything wrong with her, they put her on warning, which basically meant if they found out she wasn’t eating what the nutritionist deemed ‘appropriate’, they would fire her.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just--,” I sigh, glancing up at her as we walk into the dance studio, “Jacob is here today and wants to take me to lunch.” I wish I could hide my smile, but thinking about him will always make me smile. 

 

She gasps, “Really? Best-friend-Jacob? Did I miss somethin’?” In her surprise, her normally restrained accent comes out in full force.

 

My face turns bright red and her eyes go wide as she catches my reaction. I pull her aside before we reach the rest of the girls in the class, whispering quickly, “He’s boyfriend-Jacob now, D.”

 

Her mouth drops but she quickly pulls herself together. “You owe me a dinner once you move here and you’d better fill me in later. And don’t forget, it’s Ivy; you’re the only one that knows my real name.”

 

I nod, grinning as I watch her transform once again from my friend Dylan O’Grady to dance teacher and PNB Soloist Ivy O’Grady.

 

-0-

 

Even though ballet is my favorite class, it seems twice as long as normal. When we finally do break for lunch, Dylan pulls me aside, asking a series of rapid-fire questions. I answer as honestly as I can without telling her anything about the supernatural aspects of my relationship with Jacob, including the imprinting. After a few minutes I can hear my phone buzzing with text messages. As my eyes dart over to my locker, Dylan huffs, “Go, but I want to hear more later.”

 

I don’t have to be told twice, changing quickly and dashing out of the dance studio to meet up with Jacob. As much as I want to savor my time with him, it is limited. He insists I at least take a couple of bites of my salad to keep up appearances. He quickly finishes off his lunch then walks me back to the studio. Before I can open the door, he pulls me into his arms and just holds me. Letting go of him is hard, but I know I need to get back. He kisses me softly then releases his hold, promising to pick me up as soon as class is done.

 

My afternoon dance class drags by, of course. We are about halfway through when D walks over. She’s helping me with a position when she whispers in my ear, “There’s a man in the observation room that is watching you closely.”

 

“Man?” I ask. She nods but doesn’t look up at the glass set in the upper half of the very tall wall in the dance studio. As I turn slightly to adjust my position, I manage to look up.

 

My smile is wide when I see Jacob give me a little wave. My heart flutters as I whisper my response to D, “That’s-- Jacob.”

 

Shocked, she glances up to the window then back to me, “You have _got_ to be kiddin’ me! THAT’S Jacob?” She barely manages to keep her voice at a whisper and the pair of girls on either side of me look up. She tells both of them to stay in position before returning her gaze to me.

 

I give her a nod but don’t say anything else. She shakes her head then gives me a look, “He can’t take his eyes off of you; I’ve never seen a _boyfriend_ do that.”

 

The heat returns to my cheeks and I have to look away. “Jacob’s special,” I whisper, which is the truth, but I know I can’t tell her anything more than that.

 

D doesn’t look convinced but quickly moves on to help other students. Now that she has pointed out that he’s there, I feel his eyes follow me throughout the studio. I want to show off for him, but I know I can’t, not without revealing I’m not quite human to the other students. The nice part is, knowing he’s up there watching, the rest of the class seems to breeze by.

 

D gives me a look as she dismisses the class and I know it means she wants me to stick behind to talk. I glance up at the window and mouth to Jacob, “Give me a few minutes?”

 

He nods and blows me a kiss before walking out of the observation room. As I reach her at the barre, she glances up at the now empty observation room, “Where’d he go?”

 

“I asked him to give us a few minutes,” I answer as I begin stretching.

 

“And he just went? No questions asked?”

 

My eyes reach hers and I can tell she’s suspicious, “Yes, why?”

 

She shakes her head, “No reason, he’s just-- not like other boyfriends I’ve seen.”

 

“Is that good or bad?” I ask, honestly concerned. While she may not know about our situation, she’s been around her fair share of dancers with boyfriends.

 

She shrugs, “Good, I guess. Just not what I’m accustomed to seeing.” She pauses then gives me a grin, “He’s hot. Talk about tall, dark, and handsome.”

 

For just an instant I want to tell my friend to back off, he’s mine. That wave of possession ebbs when I see her give me a wink, “No worries, I’m not in the boyfriend stealing business. Ballet is the only relationship I have time for, but I can appreciate a good looking man.”

 

I exhale, relieved that she isn’t bothered by my initial reaction. I give her a grin, “He is definitely hot.”

 

“He’s older though, right? How do your parents feel about that?”

 

I want to laugh at her question, but know I wouldn’t be able to explain the situation if I do that. Instead, holding back my laughter I answer her, “Yeah, a little older. My dad isn’t happy, but Mom’s helping him adjust.”

 

“What’s going to happen once school starts? He’s in Forks, right? Long distance doesn’t work.”

 

She is so matter-of-fact in this assessment, but I don’t ask where her certainty comes from. There is a lot about D that I don’t know, but I’m not one to push. I figure she’ll tell me if she wants. 

 

“La Push, but yes, it’s the same area as Forks.” Lowering my body into a deep plie, I try not to look too excited as I respond, “He says he’s going to join me here during the week.”

 

“Says?” she asks, obviously picking up on that critical word.

 

“He’s still working on the details. Plus, he has to return to La Push pretty frequently. He still has his responsibilities to his tribe there.”

 

“That’s right,” she says, snapping her fingers, “you did mention he’s like the tribe chief or something.”

 

I give a slight nod but don’t expand on her comment any further. When next she speaks, I’m surprised by her change in the topic.

 

“Alice was at the PNB performance last weekend. After the show she pulled me aside and asked me the strangest question.”

 

Aunt Alice loves ballet, she told me once that watching the dancers on stage soothes her mind, she gets lost in the movements. She’s actually the one that enrolled me in dance classes, wanting to give me a chance to experience various types of artistic expression. Ever since I started taking lessons and told her “Ivy” was my teacher, she has made an effort to reach out to her after her performances. D’s statement is surprising because, while Aunt Alice asking strange questions is normal, she usually reserves those for the family.

 

“Oh?”

 

She shakes her head, looking completely baffled, “She offered me a job, in Forks.”

 

“Really?” With everything that has happened with Jacob, I haven’t talked to Aunt Alice all week, but I’m still surprised no one mentioned this to me before now.

 

“Yeah. I turned her down. I’m up for Principal next year, there’s no way I’d give that up. I’d be the youngest Principal in PNB history. I mean-- I enjoy teaching you guys, but move to FORKS? No way.”

 

“Forks isn’t _that_ bad,” I offer, though I’m still stunned. “Did she give you any details on the job?”

 

“Just that she was considering opening a dance and workout studio in Forks and wanted to know if I’d be interested in leading the classes there. Like I said, I turned her down. Do you know what that is about?”

 

“No,” I answer truthfully. In the back of my mind though, I know Aunt Alice didn’t just ask this of her randomly. She was up to something, though what, I can’t even begin to guess.

 

D shrugs, “Don’t worry about it, like I said, I turned her down. You’d better go. I’m sure your _boyfriend_ is getting restless.”

 

My need to get back to Jacob kicks in as she mentions boyfriend. I don’t hesitate, giving her a quick hug and promising to call her this week to catch up more. Once I’m changed, I find Jacob sitting in the lobby waiting for me. As he pulls me into his arms he whispers, “You looked amazing in there. Good God you are beautiful.”

 

-0-

 

When we arrive at Granddaddy Carlisle’s house, I take Jacob’s hand proudly and lead him to the front door. As soon as the door opens though, I’m pulled away from Jacob by my aunts. I barely manage to wave at him before they drag me into one of their bedrooms to begin getting me ready for tonight.

 

They are both speaking as they do my hair and makeup. I do attempt to ask Aunt Alice about her job offer to Dylan at one point, but she waves her hands and just says she wanted to give her options. I don’t believe her, but I have other things to focus on, like Jacob.

 

I barely pay attention as my aunts continue talking as my prep continues. I try to listen for Jacob, but I can’t hear anything outside of the room I’m in. What seems like hours later they finally pull a dress over my head and slip a pair of silver sandals on my feet that have a five inch heel.

 

“You need height if you’ll be standing next to Jacob all night. How your neck doesn’t hurt from looking up at him all the time I’ll never know.” Aunt Rosalie gives me a look in the mirror, and I know better than to argue with her. They have been putting me in gradually higher heels now for the past year or so. I never thought about it before, but now I’m suddenly wondering if this was their way of getting me ready for evenings like this, when they think I need to be “taller” when standing next to my date, my wolf, my Jacob.

 

Before I can ask, Aunt Alice helps me up and directs me to spin. Doing so, I feel the ends of the dress swirl around me softly. Looking down I see the fabric is a soft green color with silver thread throughout. The dress is light with different lengths of material around the end. When I look in the mirror I notice they left my hair down, but have defined my curls a bit more than normal. My makeup is subtle, though I know they spent a lot of time on my face.

 

“Wow, you’ve outdone yourselves this time.” I hug each of them in turn, “It’s perfect, thank you!”

 

“Wait until you see Jacob!” Aunt Alice gives me a wink.

 

My heart flutters at his name and I’m eager to find him. When she tells me he’s waiting for me in the living room, I wave quickly and dash down the stairs as fast as I can wearing the heels. Once I reach the bend in the stairs, my breath is taken away by the sight before me.

 

Jacob is standing at the front door, but he’s not in his normal suit. I can see the flecks of silver thread in the black blazer and pants even from here. His tie is a perfect match to my dress and the soft color against his darker skin is a beautiful contrast.

 

His grin is wide as he reaches the bottom of the stairs to meet me. “You look amazing,” he says on a soft exhale.

 

When I’m able to reach his face, my hand brushes his cheek as I speak directly into his mind, “Thanks. You look pretty amazing yourself. How much convincing did it take to get you in a matching suit?”

 

“Where do you think I was all morning?” he asks with a grin. His hand wraps around my waist and pulls me close. “But it was worth it; I wanted to look worthy of standing next to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

 

I can feel my family’s eyes on me, but I don’t care. He can’t say things like that to me and not expect to get a kiss in response. I slide my lips softly over his, trying to convey to him that I’m the lucky one. _He imprinted on me._

 

As he slowly leans back his smile grows as he whispers against my lips, “I only imprint on the best.” While I’m glad he got the message I was sending, I still feel my cheeks heating up with a blush over his compliment.

 

My dad clearing his throat is loud and obviously meant to break us apart for a moment. “If you two are ready, the limos are waiting.”

 

There isn’t room for argument as Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie make their way down the stairs, forcing me to move out of their way. Jacob doesn’t allow me to step out of his arms though, holding me against his chest as he lifts me off the last few steps. When he sets me down on the floor, his arm stays glued around me, keeping me locked tight against him. Even as we make our way out of the house, he doesn’t drop his arm until he helps me into the waiting car.

 

I’m surprised when just Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett climb into the limo with Jacob and I, but the point of our small group quickly becomes apparent.

 

“Hands off my niece, Dog.”

 

“Rose,” Uncle Emmett says softly as he closes the door of the limo.

 

Instead of looking at Aunt Rosalie, Jacob lowers his head so our noses are touching and speaks softly, “Sorry Blondie, I can’t take my hands or my eyes off of Ness.”

 

“Ugh! Renesmee, really, you are attracted to-- this mutt?”

 

It takes all my strength to break eye contact with Jacob, but my need to defend him is strong. “Yes, Aunt Rose, and he isn’t a mutt. He’s my boyfriend. My _wolf_.”

 

“Really Renesmee? He stinks.” She turns her nose up and looks to Uncle Emmett for confirmation. He just shrugs like it doesn’t bother him.

 

I can’t help but laugh, “He doesn’t stink to me, he smells amazing.” Leaning closer to Jacob I press my nose right under his ear, “Evergreen trees mixed with the ocean.”

 

“He smells like a wet dog.”

 

Aunt Rosalie is not happy but I’m so distracted by the amazing scents coming off Jacob’s skin that I can’t focus on her. Without thinking, my tongue reaches out and slides slowly over the skin of his neck.

 

As soon as my tongue makes contact with his skin, I can feel his heart stop then start back up at double time. In the same instant, his hand reaches for the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. Just as I’m about to wrap my lips around his skin, he’s no longer sitting next to me.

 

“Ness, have you been biting Jacob?” Uncle Emmett asks from across the limo. When my eyes jerk up to him, I’m surprised to see Jacob next to him, fighting his hold to get away.

 

Through the haze of Jacob’s intoxicating scent, it takes some time for Emmett’s words to sink in. Jacob responds for me when the silence stretches on as I attempt to understand what just happened.

 

“She hasn’t bitten me, but she’s welcome to. She bit me all the time as a baby. She doesn’t have venom, it’s fine.”

 

“She’d better not be biting you.” Aunt Rosalie’s words cause me to twist in her direction. This is a really bizarre conversation.

 

Tilting my head, I look her straight in the eye, “Why not?”

 

She looks over at Uncle Emmett who just shrugs and gives her a wink. She takes a deep breath then eyes me cautiously, “Biting a mate is intensely arousing for a vampire.”

 

“Dude, it is hot as hell when Rose bites me. She goes wild.” Uncle Emmett mock whispers to Jacob.

 

“Not helping, Emmett.” She says flatly. “The point is, she should not be biting him, because that dog had better not be doing _anything_ with my niece.”

 

My cheeks are on fire and I have no idea how to respond. Biting Jacob was the furthest thing from my mind, but now that they’ve mentioned it, I can hear the roar of his heart pushing blood through his body. My mouth is dry as my focus shifts to the smell of his blood.

 

My head is swimming with thoughts of how his blood would taste on my tongue when I feel his lips against mine. He’s moved back to me without my even noticing. The pressure is intense, demanding. His tongue invades my mouth as he moves my attention to wanting more of his kiss. My hands reach his hair and I tug hard, pulling him even closer.

 

“You might want to break apart before Edward sees you,” Uncle Emmett warns.

 

I’m in a such a fog that I don’t even notice the vehicle has stopped until Jacob leans back from me. My breathing is choppy but I realize he stopped me from thinking about his blood. He gives me a proud grin as Aunt Rosalie leans over me and fixes the makeup he “ruined”.

 

Before we step out of the car, I slide my thumb over his lips and chin, removing any evidence of my lip gloss. “You don’t have to do that,” he whispers.

 

Sliding my hand against his cheek I give him a wink as I whisper in his mind, “We are out with my family; I do have to do that. Especially since I’d like for you to keep all your-- appendages attached to your body.”

 

His laugh is deep and throaty as he slides out. My family surrounds the car as he helps me exit. Once the door closes behind me, Dad pulls Aunt Rosalie aside, clearly upset with her, just as Mom leans over and whispers to me, “You missed the lip gloss below his ear.”

 

I quickly reach up to wipe away that evidence, giving Jacob a soft grin just as Dad turns back to us. “Carlisle and Esme are inside waiting for us. Come on you two.”

 

-0-

 

“How are your feet holding up?” Jacob asks, glancing down at my shoes.

 

We’ve gone through the entire exhibit twice now. I’m so enthralled by all the art on display that I’ve barely noticed my feet. Of course, having Jacob by my side has also kept me distracted. I give him a soft smile, “So far, so good, but I wouldn’t turn down a nice foot rub from my boyfriend later.”

 

“Happily,” he places a soft kiss against my cheek before standing up straight. “You about ready to leave?”

 

“Yes, but do you mind if we go look at the beach and forest one again?”

 

All of the artists on display have amazing talent but I keep thinking about one painting in particular. Jacob takes my hand and weaves us through the crowd back to the one piece that I’ve spent the most time with. The abstract painting has no defined lines, just these separate, beautiful colors merging together to form one image that takes my breath away.

 

“What is it about this painting that has you so intrigued?” Jacob asks. His eyes keep darting back and forth between me and the canvas, like he really wants to understand the connection I feel to this piece of art.

 

I lean into him as I once again examine the piece in front of me. He holds me tight as I begin to explain my fascination.

 

“The style is a favorite of mine called soak-staining. Helen Frankenthaler used the style in the sixties and a few modern painters still use it. I just love the bleeding of the colors together.

 

“As for this piece, there’s something soothing and familiar about it. It reminds me of First Beach with that thin line of pale tan sand and streaks of bold white driftwood between the rich blue of the ocean and the lush green of the forest. Two powerful forces encroaching on the beach. But what really gets me is the little patch of bright yellow in the middle of it all; like a warm sun in the middle of all this insanity. It is a peaceful spot, full of happiness and joy that remains despite everything around it. Strong, secure.”

 

His thumb moves up to my face and wipes away the tears I didn’t even notice were falling. “The way you describe it, sounds like a little slice of heaven.” His kiss is gentle, loving, and sadly brief.

 

“Jacob,” my dad’s voice is sharp behind us. My blush is swift and my first instinct is to leap back, but Jacob holds me tight as he lifts his head to look at my father. Neither says anything for a moment. Finally Dad nods, “Fine, I’ll take care of it. Let’s go.”

 

Jacob gives me one last brief kiss on the cheek before taking my hand. As we follow my parents through the exhibits to the exits, I press a thought into Jacob’s mind through my hand in his, “What was that?” I make sure to flash the picture of him looking at my father.

 

He gives my hand a squeeze as he smiles down at me, “Nothing, just asking for a favor.”

 

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” I whisper, worried that my father might use whatever favor Jacob asked against us somehow.

 

He shrugs, “I think it’ll be fine this time. Besides, he owes me still.”

 

I want to continue asking him questions, but we’ve reached the waiting limo. Unfortunately Mom and Dad decide to ride with us back to Granddaddy Carlisle’s, which means nothing more than holding hands. However, I don’t mind because the day is starting to catch up with me. I lean my head against Jacob’s shoulder and close my eyes, relaxing into his strong body.

 

-0-

 

“I don’t care what deal you made with her. I don’t care if you made a deal with the Volturi. That dog is not sleeping in the same bed as my niece.”

 

Aunt Rosalie is shouting at the top of her lungs, but her voice sounds like it is miles away. I want to wake up, tell her not to talk about Jacob like that, but I’m too comfortable to stir. However, I still listen to the heated conversation.

 

“Rosalie, the decision is made. Like it or not, they are sharing a room tonight.” Dad saying these words makes me think I might actually just be dreaming, but I’m hopeful this conversation is real.

 

Jacob’s lips slide along my forehead as he whispers, “It’s real, but don’t worry, Edward, Bella, Carlisle and Esme have given their approval. No matter how much Blondie huffs and puffs, she can’t keep me from holding you in my arms tonight.”

 

I can’t help giggling at his wolf joke but just as I’m about to open my eyes he whispers, “Don’t, keep sleeping for now.”

 

“What, so he can defile her?” Aunt Rosalie shouting again catches my ear, though her voice is even farther away now than it was a few seconds ago. Jacob must be carrying me to my room. “She almost bit him tonight, Edward.”

 

I want to gasp at Aunt Rosalie bringing this up and almost lift myself up when I hear Granddaddy Carlisle speak calmly, “Rosalie, we don’t know that biting will have the same effect on her as it does a full vampire. She is still half human.”

 

“And you don’t think humans find pleasure in biting?” Aunt Rosalie snarls, “I’m telling you, those two will not be _just_ sleeping in that bed.”

 

“Baaaabe, there’s eight mature vamps ready to shred his ass if he touches her under this roof. Calm down. Nothings going to happen. He’s not that stealthy.” I can feel Jacob’s chuckle of laughter at Uncle Emmett, but I’m surprised how quickly the conversation dies down after he finishes speaking. Apparently being given permission to “shred” my boyfriend if he touches me was enough of a promise to calm Aunt Rosalie.

 

-0-

 

Unfortunately, that promise seems to have had the opposite effect on Jacob. When we made it up to my room, Jacob gave me space to get ready for bed. As I removed my makeup and changed my clothes, I couldn’t help grinning knowing I would have Jacob’s arms around me again tonight. I was even looking forward to a little making out before we fell asleep.

 

Instead, there is a comforter and sheets between us and Jacob is flat on his back, with just his arm near me. Everytime I try to shift closer to him he shakes his head. I’ve tried sending him messages though my hand on his but he just shakes his head.

 

Finally I can’t take it any longer. “Jacob Black, what is going on?” I ask as I sit straight up in bed.

 

“Nothing, Ness; just go to sleep,” he says in what I assume is supposed to be a soothing voice but just sounds strained.

 

Leaning over him I look into his eyes, taking a moment to listen to what his body is telling me. “You’re scared.”

 

“No! It’s just-- let’s just sleep, Ness. We can talk about it in the morning.”

 

I press my hand over his heart and lean closer, our noses almost touching as I push the words into his mind, “I can’t sleep if you won’t hold me.”

 

Jacob sighs, cupping my cheek, “I’m sorry, Tathut. I just don’t want to cause any problems with your family.”

 

“Are you the same guy who said my family would have to ‘get over it’ this morning?”

 

Jacob eyes me then shrugs, “That was about spending time together, not sharing a bed. Blondie is eagerly anticipating tearing me apart.”

 

“She’ll have to go through me first.” This makes him grin, but he doesn’t move. Sighing I repeat his words from this morning, “They’ll just have to get over it. You are my boyfriend, and my wolf. There is no way they can expect us to be under the same roof and not share a bed. I’ve missed having you hold me while I sleep. It will be better if they get over it now. Besides, it’s just Aunt Rosalie that’s freaking out.”

 

I try to move closer to Jacob but he leans back slightly to look at me as he speaks. “I’m pretty sure the others are freaking out too, babe. I’m sure your dad would like a shot at me too if given the chance. The others just didn’t cause a scene like Blondie did.” He laughs quietly and I flop over onto my back. We lay there in silence for a few minutes but I’m restless and can’t stop shifting around. An idea pops into my head and I sit up, looking down at Jacob. He’s watching me in amusement.

 

“Let’s go swimming!” I clap my hands together and nod my head as he shakes his side to side. “Come on, it’ll be fun. It’s an indoor pool so it’s the perfect temperature, and it’s soundproof.” I’m still nodding my head up and down, a hopeful look on my face, when he finally speaks.

 

“We don’t have suits, Ness.”

 

Unwilling to accept that as a reason I shake my head, “Come on, this is my family. You think Aunt Alice would let anyone swim in the same suit twice? I’m sure there are extra swimsuits down at the pool. There will be no problem finding something for both of us.” For added emphasis I pout my bottom lip out just a bit. It takes less than a second of pouting on my part before, hook-line-and-sinker, he caves.

 

After we ‘sneak’ to the other end of the house I find suits for both Jacob and I. We go our separate ways to change. I’m vibrating with excitement at the realization that I’ll get to see him shirtless again. It’s not like it’s a rare occurrence but a girl has to take every chance she can get. He’s so beautifully sculpted that I would be crazy not to anticipate seeing him. The swimsuit I’ve found for myself is a two piece and I feel exposed, but the feeling is slightly thrilling to experience.

 

I eye myself in the full length mirror. I’m petite, with small hips that slightly curve into a slim waist. I’m built just like my mother except my breasts, which are smaller. I frown and wonder if those will ever grow any more. Sadly I think these are the breasts I’m going to be stuck with for all eternity.

 

After a few tugs and retying of the top I take a deep breath and step out of the changing room. Jacob is leaning against a wall, looking like the cover of a magazine with his bright smile shining against his caramel skin. I bite my bottom lip to keep the cheesy smile off of my face. Its indecent, the way he looks.

 

“You ready?” he asks and all I can do is nod, _because I’m a ridiculous girl_. When he reaches for my hand I place mine in his and we silently approach the pool. It’s lighted from within, making the water cast pretty reflections on the walls around us. Those are the only lights on in this part of the house and I don’t bother turning on the overhead lights. The soft glow lends a peaceful romantic look that makes me feel warm. There’s also Jacob running his thumb back and forth across the back of my hand. That makes me feel things too.

 

When he releases his grip I frown down at his hand. Before I can say anything he’s taking a running leap, doing a backflip into the water. The splash is followed by my laughter echoing around the room. As he surfaces he has a big smile on his face and shakes the water out of his face.

 

Motioning to me with his hands he calls me to him, “Come on, Ness. You were right, the water is perfect.”

 

Instead of walking down the stairs, or using Jacob’s dramatic entrance method I walk along the edge of the pool and he follows alongside. I reach the diving board situated at the far end and gently step up, walking to the end and looking down. From my perspective the water looks extremely deep but I know it’s not. Bouncing a few times I test out the board before pushing up onto my tip toes. The whoop of Jacob’s laughter reaches my ears as I dive in.

 

As soon as my head breaks the surface of the water, Jacob is there beside me. “I’m pretty sure that dive would have gotten an 11 from all the Olympic judges.”

 

I’m giggling as I quickly wrap my arms around his neck. “And what score would my boyfriend give me for that dive?”

 

“Are you sure this room is soundproof?” he asks.

 

“I’m sure. Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett like _swimming_. When they were remodeling the house, Grandmama Esme refused to add an indoor pool unless it was soundproof.”

 

His laugh comes from deep in his chest, but it is brief, “Good to know.”

 

“So about that score...,” I whisper, tightening my grip on his neck my lips brush against his.

 

As I lean back, one of his hands glides over my face while the other grips my hip. I wish he would let me bring our bodies closer together, but that hand keeps me at a distance. “Ness, I would give you whatever score you want. Just like I’d give you anything you ever asked for.”

 

“You wouldn’t hold me earlier,” I say, my pout automatic this time.

 

“That was to protect you. And myself.” He sighs, briefly pressing his lips to mine before continuing, “They do need to get over it, but-- in that bed, I didn’t just want to hold you Ness.”

 

At his words I sigh, closing my eyes and letting my thoughts of us making out in that bed tonight flow through my skin to him. I know he received the message when he groans.

 

“That and so much more, Tathut. I know what you want, and in that bed, I was fighting myself. My desire to give you what your body was screaming for was overwhelming, but I had to consider protecting you. Because your family would tear me apart if they knew my thoughts. I never want you to be stuck in the middle between me and your family again. So to protect you, I was trying to keep you at a distance.”

 

“Jacob Black. You are a shape shifter that was created to destroy vampires. My family are all vampires. No matter what, I’m always going to be stuck in the middle.” My fingernails lightly slide over the skin at the back of his neck, teasing the soft hair there before sliding lower down his back. “The thing is, I love my family, but if I have to pick a side, I will always choose you.”

 

“I love you so much, Ness.”

 

My gasp is quick but that is the only noise I’m able to make as my stomach jumps up to my throat and my heartbeat triples in time. I have a thousand thoughts and feeling running through my mind but I manage to sort through them all to send one very important thought to him, “You love me?”

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** *Cheesy grin* Worth it, right? Don’t forget to check out our twitter (StupidLeeches) for information or to reach out to us. And make sure to click that review button below. Thanks again for your patience.


	14. Thousand Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, we just make them do fun things.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: We left you with a pretty important cliffhanger. We won’t drag this out. Just fair warning, things get steamy in this chapter.

** Chapter 14 “Thousand Words” **

****

_Do you feel it?_

_Do you feel it now?_

_Want it, but you don't know how?_

_Have it, as much as anybody ever has?_

_I wanna wake you from your dream,_

_I wanna know just who you're talking to when you’re singin' in your sleep_

_I wanna find out what it means_

_Do you love me?_

 

_I got marbles in my mouth_

_Thousand words I wanna say but it's impossible to spit em out_

_I can barely make a sound_

_Do you love me?_

“Do You Love Me” - Guster

 

** JPOV **

****

-0-

 

The water in the pool is surprisingly warm. Of course, holding Ness in my arms helps with the heat surrounding my body. Keeping her at a distance takes all of my restraint, especially since she’s sending me messages through her skin on mine of how much she wants to be closer to me. Considering how hard my cock is, holding her tight right now is not a good idea.

 

She is beautiful to me no matter what she wears, however as soon as I saw her walk out in that swimsuit I knew I was in trouble. Her luscious skin is on full display for me with those small patches of her bikini already becoming transparent in the pool. Even as I explained why I refused to hold her earlier in the bed I’m fighting myself again to resist her temptation.

 

My girl though, she does not accept my explanation of wanting to keep her out of the middle of my eternal battle with her family.

 

“Jacob Black. You are a shape shifter that was created to destroy vampires. My family are all vampires. No matter what, I’m always going to be stuck in the middle. The thing is, I love my family, but if I have to pick a side, I will always choose you.”

 

Between her words and her soft touch I’m completely wrapped up in her. Her fingernails trailing over the back of my neck is my undoing. My words tumble out of my mouth without thought.

 

“I love you so much, Ness.”

 

I don’t even realize what I just said until I hear her gasp. Her heart stops for half a second then kicks back up faster than I’ve ever heard it, the beats nearly indistinguishable. The rush of emotions she shares with me is hard to follow but the echo of my words is on repeat. I’m just about to apologize when her mind clears up enough to send one single sentence to me. “You love me?”

 

 

 

I’m not upset because the words were spoken, but more because my useless mouth couldn’t hold them back. I wanted to make this declaration to her at the right time. I had no plan on when that perfect time would have been, but this was not in my plan. While I would never take the words back, I have no idea how to reply to her.

 

I start to speak so many times I know I must look ridiculous, but she remains silent; she’s not even sharing her thoughts through the hand that is now gripping my bicep tightly. Finally I manage to slow my mind down enough to gasp out a ridiculously simple response.

 

“Yes.”

 

She blinks once, then closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath; leaning back for just a moment. She blinks again, swallowing, opening her mouth then closes it again.

 

In that space of time I pull myself together, “I don’t expect you to return my feelings, Ness. I know it’s a lot--.”

 

Her voice is loud and sure in my mind and she cuts off my speech, “Stop, don’t even think of saying that.”

 

She doesn’t say anything else for a moment. I’m not sure if I’m “allowed” to speak again. I’m just about to ask her if she’s ok when she opens her mouth and says the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.

 

“I love you too, Jacob.”

 

My plans to keep her at a distance evaporate. My hands wrap around the smooth skin of her waist and tug. In the same instant my feet move across the concrete bottom of the pool. By the time I feel her tight nipples graze my chest my knuckles hit the side of the pool.

 

Her arms are around my neck as I push my hips forward to trap her between my body and the pool edge. I can feel her ankles lock together behind me just as my lips descend to hers. The wolf within me is in complete control of my actions; gripping her wet hair in my fists to hold her head steady as my mouth covers hers, my tongue sweeping forward just as my hips thrust against hers. I can feel her gasping for air, but she doesn’t push me away. Instead my girl arches her chest, claws my back and tightens her legs around my hips.

 

In between the images she shares with me of how her body is reacting one clear requests reaches my mind. “Say it again, Jake.”

 

It takes all of my concentration to remove my lips from hers. She is flushed from her neck up. Her eyes are barely open but I feel them locked on my lips. I lean down slightly, trying to catch her eyes as I say the words again.

 

“I love you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I’m in love with you.”

 

Her lips are soft as she finds mine, lightly sliding back and forth before she leans back. This time her eyes have found mine. Her breathing is still choppy, but she gives me a smile, “May I call you ‘Tathut” too?”

 

Her question surprises me. I fully expected her to say she loves me too, so I’m caught off guard by the change in subject. It takes me a moment to catch up and finally answer her, “I guess.”

 

“Good, because I love you, Jacob Black. You are my Tathut.”

 

It is my turn to gasp. She gives me a soft smile, sliding her hands over my shoulders, “What, you didn’t expect that?”

 

My chuckle comes off more as a bark, “You always keep me on my toes, Tathut.”

 

“I love you,” she whispers against my ear just before her tongue slides over the bottom edge of my lobe down my neck. I feel her breath caress my skin as her lips drop soft kisses along my neck. She pauses at my shoulder. My heart accelerates in anticipation, hoping those lips will tug my skin into her mouth before she sinks her teeth in my hot flesh.

 

Instead she leans back slowly. There is a soft grin on her face and I know she’s going to push me closer to that edge.

 

Her hands slide down my chest until she reaches the edge of my swim shorts. I’m ready to push her away if she reaches into my shorts when she moves. I watch with fascination as she slides her hands up her waist, past her breasts, up to her neck. My mind doesn’t understand what is happening until she’s untied her top. The straps hang loosely over her shoulders, the small triangles of fabric now barely covering those nipples that have teased me all night.

 

“Ness,” I warn. “We agreed you’d stop us if we were both topless.”

 

She’s shaking her head back and forth, that grin still there. “I promised to stop us if anything _below_ the waist was removed. Jake, we won’t go any further than this, but--,” she bites her lip. Taking a deep breath she grasps my arm and speaks hesitantly in my mind, “I want to know what it feels like with nothing between us.”

 

The groan escapes but I’m unable to deny her. She’s holding her breath as I gently slide my fingers over her neck. I hesitate when I reach the straps, “Are you sure?”

 

Ness closes her eyes and inhales softly before slowly moving her head up and down. That is all the invitation I need.

 

It takes just a flick of my fingers to push the straps aside and reveal her entire upper half to me. Needing full access to her glorious skin I decide a new location is in order. Wrapping my arms around her tight I start walking up the pool to a more shallow part. Of course, walking is difficult; between the water, the feeling of her bare breasts against my chest, and my cock throbbing like mad, I’m having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Once my waist is even with the edge of the pool, I break my hold on her and lift up. I place her on the very edge and those legs quickly return to their spot around my waist. Her breasts are now at eye level and I’m licking my lips in anticipation, but before I can taste, I want to feel.

 

Ness slides her hands into my hair, pushing my head back slowly until I’m looking into her eyes. “I love you,” she whispers. Those words mean so much that they distract me from the task at hand. Lifting my hands from their resting spot on her hips, I pull her mouth down to mine. This kiss is slow, loving, gently showing her how much she means to me.

 

My tongue eases into her mouth, exploring and caressing her tongue along the way. At the same time, my hands begin roaming around her now exposed skin. I make my way down her shoulders and across her back. She presses her soft flesh against my chest as I go lower down her back. I’m half way down when I realize the bikini top is still attached to her.

 

The rational side of my mind says leave it on, easier to cover her up quickly if I need to. However, my rational _mind_ isn’t working right now. I’m able to tug on the ends and feel the top loosen and untie. Breaking contact with her lips is difficult, but I ease over to her ear. I whisper softly while nipping at the skin of her earlobe, “I’m taking your top off, Ness. Are you sure this is ok?”

 

Her breathing is labored, a heavy panting sound against my ear. On a gasp I hear her moan out, “Yes. Please Jake.”

 

I take a small step back from her, which causes a whimper of complaint to escape her lips. “I just want to see you, Tathut.”

 

Her nodding is my answer; the swimsuit top is no longer attached to her body so I’m able to easily wrap it in my hand and toss it aside. When I look back she has a soft smile on her face but her entire chest is flushed. Her breasts are small but perfect; softly curving out from her torso into nipples that are rock hard and begging for my lips. Unable to resist, I lean forward, kissing each nipple softly. Even just this touch sends her body into convulsions. She’s shaking in my arms and I can easily smell her arousal. To prevent my fingers from searching out if she is a wet as she smells, I ease my hands up her waist.

 

“Beautiful,” I whisper, looking up at her as I use my index finger to start drawing lazy circles around both breasts. With each move of the circle I get closer and closer to those peaks that are begging for attention. She’s still shaking, her bottom lip trapped in her mouth as her back arches and her fingers and legs tighten their grip on me. She leans back further and further, placing those perfect nipples on full display for me.

 

As I approach the pink area around her nipples, I move to cup her breasts in my hands. While they appear small, they fit nicely in my hands. My thumbs take over for my index finger, the circles so tight now that I keep brushing the side of her peaks.

 

“Jake,” she moans softly. Her breathing is so uneven I’m not sure she knows what she’s doing right now. However the thoughts she’s sharing with me direct me to what she wants; my lips on her.

 

The request is clear and I’m more than willing to give her what she wants. Slowly, so as not to scare her, I lean forward. My right hand moves to her face, pulling her forward to catch her eyes, “I want you to watch me. You are beautiful and you need to watch and feel this.”

 

Ness swallows, closes her eyes for the briefest of seconds then glances at me, giving me a swift shake of her head. She sucks in a breath as my mouth descends, making a perfect circle around her tip. When the circle is complete, my tongue reaches out and slides over her nipple from bottom to top. She cries out my name, tugging my hair so hard that I’m afraid I’m might come from the borderline pain/pleasure she’s giving me. Instead of pulling me back as I expected though, she tugs me forward, pressing her breast further into my waiting mouth.

 

I happily accept her gift, opening my mouth, taking as much of her breast in that I can and I suck. Just as my tongue returns to her tip I can feel her entire body shudder before she arches her back again.

 

Not wanting to neglect her other breast, I quickly move over. This time instead of taking the breast in my mouth, I gently wrap my teeth around her nipple and press down. Her body is in full convulsions now, her hands and legs gripping me tightly then relaxing for a moment before holding even tighter. I’m surprised she’s this close just from me playing with her breasts, but my girl is about to fall over the edge. Wanting to watch every glorious moment of her release, I lean back.

 

Ness whimpers when I release her tit from my mouth, but then cries out my name when I softly blow air over both peaks. My mouth finds her ear and I whisper as softly as I can, “Let go, Tathut. Enjoy this.”

 

She whimpers but I feel her move her head up and down. My hands return to her sides but this time I’m much more rough with her. Pinching her nipples I tug both out, twisting the pebbled skin along the way. Her sharp intake of breath and the erratic thrumming of her heart are the only warning I have. As my hands cup her breasts and tug on those tips again, her body begins shaking uncontrollably. My name is tumbling off of her lips as she shares every moment of her orgasm with me through her skin on mine; blinding white light, fire coursing through her veins, and electric tingles over every inch of her skin.

 

-0-

 

I hold Ness tight against me as she continues to shake even after a few minutes have passed. I’m still in shock that she could orgasm just from my playing with her breasts, but I can’t judge, seeing as how I can get off just thinking about her mouth.

 

The idea of getting off brings my attention back to the issue between my own legs. There is no way I’m going to be able to sleep tonight with this thing throbbing. However, I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to let go of her long enough to take care of this problem.

 

“I love you,” the words are soft in my mind. Lifting my head, I catch her watching me.

 

Sliding my thumb over her cheek I give her a happy smile, “I love you too, Tathut. You ok?”

 

Her hand moves over mine as her grin takes over her entire face. She speaks aloud this time, “I’m great, Jake. That was-- wow. Is it normal for-- that-- to happen like that?”

 

“You worry too much about normal, Ness. You enjoyed yourself, that’s normal enough for me. That was the first time you’ve had an orgasm, right?”

 

While her face is a soft pink still from her orgasm, the color darkens swiftly. I’m assuming she’s just embarrassed by my question, so her response floors me.

 

“Not exactly.”

 

“What?” I’m suddenly hit with a wave of possession. She said nothing happened with Seth, but what if there was someone else I never knew about? How could this not have been her first orgasm? _Who’s been touching my girl?_

 

I hear growling in my mind but I’m shocked when I see an image of me in the pool growling. My face is the one that Ness sees, but it is hard, angry, ready to attack. Her soft voice accompanies the image, worry surrounding her words, “Jake, I’m sorry. I just-- I was experimenting one night.”

 

“Who were you _experimenting_ with, Ness? Shit-- how did I not know about this? What else has happened that I wasn’t aware of?”

 

Ness leans back from me, dropping her legs from my waist as she moves her hands to her lap, her eyes lowering to her hands. “I-- there wasn’t anyone else there, Jake. It was just-- me.”

 

My mind is slow to understand what she is saying. The anger ebbs slowly as I realize what she means. _My girl has-- masturbated._ She was experimenting on herself. She-- _holy fucking shit_ \-- she fucking got herself off touching herself?

 

“You-- you came playing with yourself?” Saying the words aloud doesn’t make it any more realistic. I just can’t imagine Ness-- my sweet, innocent, Ness-- _fingering.._. The idea just doesn’t fit. It’s fucking hot as hell to think of, but my brain can’t picture it.

 

“Yes?” Her answer is a question and she still won’t look at me as she continues, “I wanted to know what it was like. Mom and Dad were gone hunting, it was after a bonfire. You smelled so amazing that night, it was the first time in a while you had let me get close to you. Between being close like that and seeing all the other couples together-- I just-- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched myself like that, but I didn’t know I was your imprint then.”

 

“What?” Her apology makes no sense to me. I have no idea what she is even apologizing for.

 

“This-- just your hands and mouth-- it was _so_ much better. I should have waited for you but I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Jacob.”

 

“Ness, you don’t have to apologize for-- doing that. Shit, _I_ need to do that right now. I’m just-- shocked, honestly. You’ve really touched yourself?”

 

Her head jerks up to me, “You aren’t mad?”

 

“Hell no! I just-- can’t picture it.”

 

Her cheeks are still a bright red when she leans forward again, reaching a hand out for my face. I’m thankful she’s reaching out to me again, relieved she’s no longer worried. My hands reach out for her thighs, ready to lean back into her, when she starts sharing her thoughts with me. My grip on her tightens when I realize what I’m seeing.

 

 _Holy fucking shit. She’s showing me--_ fucking hell _\-- this is her fucking masturbating._

 

I should tell her to stop, that this is too much, but I can’t. The images she’s showing are too fucking hot. Closing my eyes, I release my grip on her thighs, knowing I can’t be touching her while I see this. The rough concrete digs into my skin, but I’m sure of my decision not to touch her as I watch the images in my mind of her sliding her hand down her stomach.

 

_She reaches the edge of the short shorts she usually sleeps in and I see her hands tease her skin for just a moment before slowly sliding lower._

 

“Fuck Ness, I-- you really shouldn’t be showing me this. I can’t-- shit I really need to come.”

 

I nearly jump when I feel her cheek brush against mine, “It’s ok, Jacob. I-- don’t mind. I won’t look-- there, but I want to see what it looks like, when you do it too.”

 

My eyes jerk open and I twist my head to find Ness’ eyes, “You really want to watch me jack off?”

 

She bites her lip and nods. A small smile crosses her face as she whispers, “It’s only fair if I’m showing you what it was like for me.”

 

 _Oh fucking hell._ She has me completely trapped now. I want to see the rest of this, know what it was like for her when she touched herself. I also _seriously_ need to get off so I can hopefully get some sleep tonight. But the idea of having her here, watching, while I jack off, just presents too many possible problems. She’s still half naked, with just the little strip of her bikini bottoms preventing me from touching her. That is not nearly enough fabric. One tug and she’d be naked before me.

 

“I’ll stop you, Jacob. I promise, but I know you won’t need me to stop us. I just want-- to watch you, like you just watched me.”

 

My cock throbbing makes the decision for me. My mind has no control over my body right now. I groan but shake my head in agreement.

 

She gives me a huge smile and lowers her mouth to mine. Her hands start out on my cheeks but quickly move to my shoulders. She picks up where she left off in showing me her first time masturbating. Unable to deny my cock relief, I drop one hand from the edge of the pool to my shorts. I grip my throbbing flesh just as she shows me her legs opening slowly as she sinks lower in the bed.

 

My senses are completely overwhelmed. I hear her erratic breathing in the memory, her soft panting in my ear now and my own labored gasps as I tug on my hot skin.

 

“Tell me-- what did it feel like, Ness? What were you thinking about?”

 

Her tongue slides over the skin just below my ear before she whispers, “It felt weird, I didn’t know what I was doing, I just-- I kept thinking about how good you smelled that night. I was imagining it was your hands touching me.”

 

My hand tightens around my cock as I twist my head to find her lips. She continues showing me flashes of that night, as well as her thoughts while she was playing with herself. My free hand slides down to grasp one of her breasts while my tongue invades her mouth and my other hand continues to pump my cock.

 

_Her fingers slide along her lips as she softly coos my name, “Mmmmm, Jacob.”_

 

“Shit, Ness. I’m close.” I gasp out.

 

_“Oh! Jacob!” She’s found her clit and is rubbing back and forth while her hips jerk around erratically. She takes a sharp intake of breath and shouts, “I love you, Jacob!”_

 

My eyes flash open and find her eyes. She has a soft smile on her lips and she nods, “I love you, Jacob Black.”

 

I attack her lips, my tongue invading her mouth while I twist her nipple between my fingers. My hand on my cock makes quick short strokes as I feel my body begin to give in to the orgasm.

 

“Oh shit, Ness! I love you!” I scream out as I come hard, my hand on her breast convulsing at the same pace as my hand around my cock.

 

-0-

 

When I manage to pull myself together I realize I practically collapsed in her lap. I do my dead level best to ignore the amazing scent coming from between her legs. I don’t know how long we’ve been in the pool, but I know it was late when we even made our way down here. We need sleep.

 

Lifting my head, I find her watching me, her hands slowly sliding through my hair. She gives me a soft smile when she realizes I’m watching, “That was amazing, thank you for letting me watch.”

 

“It didn’t-- freak you out?” I ask, concerned we’ve gone too far this time.

 

She shakes her head then places her lips softly against mine. After a few minutes of delicate kisses, she leans back, “No freaking out, promise. But--.”

 

I frown when she stops herself. Just as I’m about to complain she shares the rest of her thought through her hand on my cheek, “I want to see that again, Jacob. But-- next time I want to be touching you.”

 

“Shit, Ness. Are you trying to kill me?”

 

She laughs, “Definitely not. I plan on keeping you around for the rest of my life. You are stuck with me.”

 

“I really do love you, Ness. You are amazing. You definitely keep me on my toes but that makes it fun.”

 

“I love you too, Jacob.” She lifts her hand but not quick enough to cover the yawn.

 

I jump out of the pool to sit next to her. Pulling Ness into my lap I nip at the area where her neck and shoulder meet until she starts giggling. When her arms wrap around my neck on a sigh of enjoyment, I push myself up to standing.

 

She frowns at me, but when she again suppresses a yawn, the decision is made, “Bed, Tathut.”

 

“Ok, but I need a quick shower and my pajamas.”

 

Letting her go is tough, but I could use a shower too. I give her one last kiss before we go our separate ways into the changing rooms.

 

I use the chance of the shower to wash up quickly and once again jack off. Even though I just came in the pool, holding her in my arms, her breasts so close got my damn cock hard again.

 

When I make my way out to the pool, she’s leaning against a wall, a tired smile on her face.

 

I don’t hesitate in picking her up. She snuggles up against me, dropping soft kisses along my neck. As I carry her down the hallway back to the bedroom she whispers in my mind, “Do you normally-- masturbate-- in the shower?”

 

“Ness,” I warn softly.

 

“No, I was just curious,” she whispers in my mind as I carry her back into the bedroom.

 

As I crawl into the bed and pull her close I whisper against her ear, “What do you want to know?”

 

She flashes a memory in my mind, she’s in the shower, I’m guessing at the pool when a voice screams out, “Fuck! Yes!”

 

“You heard that?” I gasp, recognizing my own voice in her memory. I know her hearing is comparable to mine, but I didn’t think I’d been that loud.

 

She nods but doesn’t say anything else. I lean over her and whisper in her ear, “Yes, usually in the shower. It’s-- less messy. Easier to clean up.”

 

Her laughter is loud and happy as she curls her body against mine. “Good to know,” she sighs as I feel her drift off to sleep in my arms.

 

-0-

 

“You ready?” Ness asks, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth, her hesitation and nerves obvious to me because I feel the same way.

 

Taking her hand, I lead her out of the bedroom we shared, and head toward what is bound to be the most awkward conversation ever. For Ness, myself and Carlisle. Even though he has been a doctor for God only knows how many centuries now, this is different, it’s his granddaughter and her boyfriend now. I just hope he doesn’t slip up and inadvertently let Edward know that we are seeing him about birth control. The thought of that makes my stomach tighten. Not because I’m afraid of him, but because I don’t want it to cause Ness any more stress.

 

Carlisle welcomes us into his office with a reassuring smile, softly closing the door behind us. He ushers Ness and I to two overstuffed chairs located in front of his desk. The three of us sit in silence for a long second before Ness speaks up. “Granddaddy, I know Mom talked to you already. What do you think is going to be the best option?”

 

She’s so matter of fact about it, like we’re discussing the weather, that Carlisle and I both just stare at her. Ness looks at the two of us and shrugs, as if to say “What’s the big deal?”. I don’t know whether I want to kiss her or hug her. More than anything I want to drag her out of here. Either to go make out until I can’t deny her requests for more another second or hide her away for fear that she’s going to make me break my resolve to hold out until we are settled in our lives together.

 

Our time in the pool last night was intense. I haven’t let myself think about it much since we woke up this morning. If I did, I would be hanging out in the shower all day long. However, sitting here, watching her square her shoulders and take control of this very awkward situation, makes me love her even more. That singular focus and determination is very much a turn on for me. Seeing her so resolved both fascinates and scares the hell out of me.

 

Carlisle finally clears his throat and gives Ness a soft smile, “I have some ideas, based on the tests we’ve run recently. I’ve been trying to prepare for this eventuality. With Jacob imprinting on you, I figured this discussion would come up at some point.”

 

Ness cuts her eyes over to me and I quickly grab her hand, squeezing softly. Through that touch I hear her soft voice in my mind, “I love you. Though I still can’t believe everyone else knew about you imprinting.”

 

Times like this, I wish her gift worked in reverse too; that she could hear my thoughts. Instead I have to answer her with a wink and the best smile of assurance I can come up with.

 

She nods, hopefully getting my message then turns back to Carlisle, “What ideas, Granddaddy?”

 

“Well, if you’re open to it, I’d still like to go through our normal tests, compare the results before I make my final decision on the best course.”

 

Ness glances at me and I nod. While I haven’t joined her on these check ups with Carlisle in a few years, I can’t imagine they would have changed much.

 

“Sure,” she glances at Carlisle as she squeezes my hand again.

 

He gives a small nod then glances down at our joined hands, “Before we get started with the tests, is there anything else you would like to discuss?”

 

With the focus on birth control, I’d nearly forgotten about the other thing we needed to talk to Carlisle about. Thankfully, Ness remembered for me.

 

“There is one other thing,” she begins, slightly hesitant.

 

“Sure, what’s going on?” Carlisle asks, his pen in his hand, ready to take notes if needed.

 

Ness inhales then speaks softly to her grandfather on her exhale, “Well, my power, of sharing thoughts-- it’s different now. I’m not sure if it is just Jacob, or what-- but at least with Jacob I don’t have to touch his face to share my thoughts.”

 

“Is that so?” Carlisle says, clearly surprised by this revelation.

 

Ness bites her lip and nods, still unsure. Carlisle eases out of his chair and rounds the desk, leaning against it as he glances between the two of us, “Please give me more detail, if you can. Do you still need your hand to his skin or will skin-against-skin work as well? Are the thoughts as clear and powerful when you are sharing outside of touching his cheek?”

 

She turns to me, completely unsure and I realize this time I’m the one that has to answer the questions Carlisle has posed. Clearing my throat, I try to answer as well as I can without giving away just how much exploring of his granddaughter’s body I’ve done.

 

“The thoughts are not nearly as clear and powerful when she isn’t touching my cheek, but they are still there. It seems if she is focused on one singular thought, that it can come through loud and clear as long as she touching some part of my skin. Otherwise, the thoughts are more like brief flashes of images, one or two words.” I hesitate for a moment, not sure how to broach the subject of whether or not it has to just be her hands. “I don’t think it has to just be her hands, that just skin-on-skin will work, but I haven’t-- um-- paid attention enough to realize if there is a difference.”

 

Carlisle’s face doesn’t change, which eases a bit of the tension in my body. While the blood suckers are my natural enemy, many times it is hard for me to remember that Carlisle is anything other than a doctor and a caring family man. His compassion for others is evident and while he doesn’t have Jasper’s powers to manipulate feelings, his calm demeanor and inquisitive mind relaxes me more than I would have expected.

 

“Thank you for sharing that information, Jacob,” he nods then goes silent.

 

After a few minutes of quiet I glance over at Ness, worried. She shrugs, speaking in my mind, “He’s thinking, considering what you’ve told him. It’s ok.”

 

“Here’s what I think is going on,” Carlisle finally says moments later. “I believe this growth in your powers is exclusive to Jacob. More than anything, I think your connection is so strong that simply touching one another, beyond just Renesmee’s hand on your face Jacob, is powerful enough that her thoughts easily transfer to you.”

 

I’m about to exhale in relief, when Carlisle continues, “However, I’d like to run a few tests here today to be sure. I’d also like for you two to conduct a few tests with your friends in the pack, both another imprintee, as well as another wolf, if possible. Nothing invasive, just trying to determine if your thoughts can be shared in other ways with other people.”

 

“Do you think Embry would let me try on Lillah?” she asks softly in my mind.

 

Nodding, I lift her hand to my lips, “I was thinking she might be our best bet. I’ll convince him to let us try.”

 

“Fascinating.” Carlisle’s hushed tone surprises me. Jerking my head up, I find his eyes locked on Ness’ hand still in mine, near my face. He shakes his head and gives me an apologetic smile, “Forgive me, but it is absolutely amazing to watch the two of you. Ness, your gift, combined with Jacob imprinting-- well, you are quite a pair.”

 

When my eyes dart over to her, she’s flushed from her neck up, but she has a happy smile on her face. “Yes, we are, Carlisle,” I whisper, still looking at her.

 

Carlisle clearing his throat alerts me that we may have taken a bit too long to respond. When I finally drag my eyes to him, he lifts his hands to the back of the room, “Shall we get started, then?”

 

-0-

 

The examination is much more detailed than I remember it being. What was simply measurements of height and weight have now expanded to a full physical for Ness. Carlisle also runs a few tests on her gift. After multiple variations, he determines that from the vampire perspective, her gift still only works with her hand against a cheek.

 

As he wraps up the examination, he gives her instructions on what tests he’d like to run with an imprintee and a wolf pack member, other than myself.

 

Once that is all done, he hands her a small box, “Start with this and we will run tests again in a couple of weeks to check effectiveness. This typically takes one month to become active, though with your accelerated system, I’m expecting it will be sooner.” He turns to me, “If you two are sexually active before her next checkup, you will need to use additional protection to prevent pregnancy.”

 

I barely manage to hold in my groan of embarrassment. Carlisle is a great doctor, and I respect him, but he’s still my girlfriend’s grandfather. This is not a conversation I want to have with him, but I know it is necessary to make sure Ness is protected. Nodding my head, I turn to grasp her hand, “Understood.”

 

She exhales and closes her eyes before turning to Carlisle, “Thank you, Granddaddy.”

 

“You are more than welcome. And do not fret, Edward will not hear about this from me. Just make sure you take the pill at the same time every day and don’t miss a pill. If you forget, take the pill as soon as you remember. If taking a pill every day is too difficult to remember, we will try other methods, but I think this is our best option to start with.”

 

We nod in unison and Carlisle takes pity on us, finally letting us leave. We don’t have to be told twice, quickly exiting the office. Since we don’t have any plans for the afternoon, Ness suggests we go explore the city. While I would have preferred spending the afternoon making out with her, leaving the house is probably our best option for getting some alone time.

 

Ness takes the box of pills upstairs to the bedroom and returns wearing a loose fitting summer dress. My mouth is drooling and my cock is throbbing considering how easy it would be to touch all of her. When she reaches the end of the stairs I quickly scoop her up, my lips finding hers.

 

A throat clearing behind us breaks the spell. Holding her tight to me, I turn my head to find Edward and Bella standing in the doorway. Bella is holding back a grin, but Edward looks anxious.

 

“Sorry to interrupt, but may we have a word with you two before you head out for the afternoon?” Edward, always so formal, asks as his hand waves toward the sofas.

 

Taking Ness’ hand in mine, I lead her over to the loveseat while Edward and Bella take the sofa across from us. Bella glances at Edward and shakes her head before turning back to us, “We just wanted to let you two know that we are going ahead with our planned vacation. We leave tomorrow.”

 

This is definitely a surprise to me, and when I turn to Ness, I can see she’s just as taken aback.

 

“Oh,” Ness exhales, “ok. I’m glad you are still going.”

 

Edward glances at Bella then back to us, “Yes. I would prefer if Renesmee would join us, but Bella feels that you are old enough now that we can trust you to be alone while we are gone for two weeks.”

 

 _Two weeks without Edward and Bella?_ My life just got a whole lot simpler. Sure, I still have to work, but when I’m not working, without them around, I’ll be free to be with Ness all the time. Hell, I can probably stay over every night. I might actually sleep uninterrupted for the first time in a long time.

 

“Don’t get too excited, Jacob,” Edward warns, obviously hearing some of my thoughts. “Our rules are still very much in place. Occasional overnight visits are fine, but not every night. There will be someone around, both to take care of the house as well as to keep an eye on you two for us.”

 

“Who?” Ness asks softly.

 

Bella grins, “Charlie is going to stay at the house with you, Renesmee. He’s very excited to get some quality time with you.”

 

I try to hold back my grin, but knowing Charlie is the one “keeping an eye” on us makes me want to laugh. Spending time with her while they are gone will be a cakewalk.

 

“It won’t be that easy, Jacob,” Edward almost growls, clearly getting upset as he reads the thoughts in my mind.

 

Shrugging I look him straight in the eye and send a message directly to him. _He missed you sneaking into Bella’s room every night for how long? I doubt he’ll notice me. But don’t worry, we’ll only sleep at night._

 

Edward growls low and Bella looks between the two of us before shouting, “Enough! We are going away. Jacob, I’m trusting you. Please respect our rules at least until her birthday.”

 

“Please, Jacob. This can still be a good time. Don’t spoil it by upsetting him and making him change his mind,” Ness’ voice is soft as she pleads with me. Unable to resist, I agree with her.

 

“Fine, we’ll behave and follow the rules. Have fun on your trip.”

 

The tension in the room seems to evaporate quickly when I agree to their terms. Bella and Ness chat happily about their vacation plans. Before I realize what’s happening, Bella is pulling Ness up and they are leaving the room.

 

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Edward turns to me, “I’m glad they gave us a few minutes to talk. I did as you asked last night. It will be shipped to your house in a few weeks. I provided the updated address you gave me.”

 

While he didn’t ask a question, it’s clear he’s curious about the different address. “I bought a house for us, in La Push.”

 

“I see,” Edward sighs. “Are you prepared to leave that house while you are in Seattle with her during the school year?”

 

“She wants to return to La Push on the weekends. She’s very close with the other imprints and understands my responsibilities to the tribe.”

 

He nods in what I’m guessing is understanding, but I don’t bother asking. After a few more minutes of silence, he starts a new topic of discussion, “There should be some paperwork waiting at your father’s home regarding your GED, as well as application for the University of Washington. Please fill this paperwork out if you are still interested in joining her at school. If you have any questions while I’m gone, Carlisle is up to speed on what is going on; he should be able to help you out. Once you’ve completed the paperwork, send it back to Carlisle and he will keep the process moving.”

 

All I manage is to nod in agreement. For as much as Edward can be a pain in the ass, the fact that he would be willing to help me get into college just so I can be with his daughter is an amazing gesture on his part.

 

“I’m doing this for her. She wants to be with you, at the very least I can help you get an education while you attach yourself to my daughter permanently.”

 

Shaking my head, I can’t help laughing, “Don’t worry, Edward, I’m not delusional enough to think you’d do this for me.”

 

“Jacob, while I don’t like that you and my daughter are progressing so quickly, I do respect your relationship. She cares deeply for you, and I know you feel the same for her. I love my daughter and just want to see her happy. Plus, everyone deserves a good education.”

 

While I can’t argue with him, I decide to make one point of clarification before I go search the house for my imprint, “She doesn’t just ‘care deeply’. She loves me. And I love her. I’ll do anything for her Edward, even be nice to you.”

 

He gives a very undignified snort of laughter as I leave the room.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Don't forget to wipe the steam off your screen. *wiggles eyebrows* Two weeks without Edward? This could be fun! Don't forget to click that little review button! Also, "Drawn to You" has been nominated for the "Spin That Spawn Award: Your favorite take on Jake and Nessie" award in the Jacob Black n Pack 2012 Awards. Thank you to whoever nominated us, we really appreciate it! If you'd like to vote for us, or check out the other great nominees, you can do so at jacobblack - n - pack dot blogspot dot com . Thank you again, we appreciate everyone that has read and reviewed this story so far and we will see you again in 2 weeks!

 

 


	15. Floating on a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, we just like to play with them.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Here we are again. Some fun stuff going on in this chapter, should work to put a huge smile on your face.

** Chapter 15 “Floating On A Dream” **

****

_I'm getting butterflies_

_I'm floating on a dream_

_Now my world starts spinning_

_My heart pounds_

_So happy that I could cry_

_When I look in your eyes_

_Cause you keep giving me_

_Keep giving me butterflies_

**“** Butterflies **” -** Tone Damli

 

** NPOV **

****

-0-

 

_This is so frustrating!_

 

I’m irritated as I flip to a clean page in my sketchbook. I’ve been trying to put my memories of this weekend onto paper as we drive back to Forks, but no matter what I’m drawing, I can’t get Jacob’s face right. Something is off in all the sketches.

 

What’s worse, I’ve been drawing Jacob’s face for years, I could draw his face with my eyes closed, but what keeps showing up in my sketchbook is lacking a certain detail. The face on the paper is beautiful, like always, but its blank compared to all the emotions I’ve seen cross his face this weekend.

 

_He loves me, but how do you draw love?_

 

“What’s wrong?” Jacob asks, glancing over at me, an amused smile on his face.

 

Laughing, I shake my head at myself, “Nothing, it’s silly.”

 

His thumb brushes my cheek softly, “I doubt that.”

 

“I can’t figure out how to draw your face,” I explain on an exhale, embarrassed to admit this fact.

 

He tilts his head, his eyes darting between me and the road, obviously confused. “Is this the first time you’ve tried drawing my face?”

 

“Nooooo,” I expand the word out, slightly nervous to tell him that I’ve drawn his face countless times.

 

Jacob’s smile takes over his whole face, “I really hope you haven’t filled all those sketchbooks with pictures of my ugly mug.”

 

“You are beautiful, Jacob Black,” I whisper through my hand on his cheek. My fingers slide lightly over his cheekbones, along his nose, down to his lips, the finally rest on that proud chin of his. His face is so familiar to me, but the look in his eyes right now, that laughter mixed with desire and love, I don’t know how to capture it on paper.

 

“We’ll agree to disagree on that one,” he says with a wink. “So what’s the problem now? Have you always struggled to draw my face?”

 

He thankfully returns his gaze to the road, giving me a moment to collect my thoughts before answering. Even knowing he’s not looking at me, talking about these drawings, especially ones of him, is a little awkward. Sure, he knows I love him, but admitting I’ve been drawing him every day for the past couple of years, that’s a different story.

 

Turning to look out my window, I can’t help smiling when I see his reflection watching me closely. “No, I’ve never had a problem drawing your face. You are the easiest person for me to sketch. All I have to do is imagine you and it just seems to appear on the paper without any thought on my part.”

 

Jacob doesn’t respond but I can see him grinning back at me as he drives. Focusing my eyes on the scenery we are passing, I’m surprised to see we are nearly home. A few minutes later, he’s turning off the highway.

 

He stops near the cottage, turning off the engine, but he doesn’t move to get out. Jacob’s hand slides along my cheek, pulling gently until I’m looking him in the eye. “What’s different now, Ness?”

 

“I love you, and you love me.” I can feel tears sliding down my face, but don’t bother to wipe them away. “I’ve drawn people in love before, but I don’t know how to put that emotion on your face. Everytime I try it just looks wrong.”

 

“Ness, I’ve loved you your whole life. Telling you I love you was just me admitting something I’ve felt all along.” He leans forward, his lips kissing away my tears as he whispers, “I love you, Ness.”

 

He finds my lips before I can return the words, but I manage to shout my love back to him as my hands slide up his neck to search out his thick, silky hair. He leans over me, pushing me back against the door. Holding onto him tight, I pull him closer, needing every inch of his body covering mine.

 

I’m seriously considering opening the door and dragging him out of the car when I hear someone pounding on the window behind me.

 

“Jacob Black, what the hell are you doing to my granddaughter?”

 

 _Grandpa Charlie._ I completely forgot that Mom mentioned he’d be here waiting for us when we got back.

 

“Shit,” Jacob gasps. Leaning back, he adjusts my shirt before rolling down the window.

 

“Hey Charlie. How’s it going?” Jacob asks with a forced smile.

 

“Don’t you dare try to distract me, get out of that car NOW, and get your hands off my granddaughter. Is that how you boys treat the women you imprint on?”

 

“Yep,” Jacob whispers against my ear as he rolls up the window.

 

I’m stifling a giggle when Grandpa Charlie opens my door. He leans over me while I hear Jacob getting my stuff from the back, “He didn’t pressure you into anything, did he? I’ll handle him if I need to.”

 

“No, Grandpa, Jacob is a perfect gentleman. We just got a little carried away,” I sigh, wishing we hadn’t been interrupted. My eagerness to have Jacob all to myself is growing. As much as I love my family, I can’t wait until Jacob and I can truly be alone, just to two of us, with no threat of being interrupted.

 

Jacob rounds the car and he’s grinning from ear-to-ear. Grandpa Charlie is apparently offended by this, giving a solid _HMPH_ before wrapping his arm around my shoulder, leading me to the cottage.

 

Once we reach the cottage, Jacob sets my stuff down on the floor. He sighs loudly as he gives me a resigned look, “That’s it. I guess I’ll see you later, Ness.”

 

I can feel Grandpa Charlie’s eyes on us, but I try to ignore him. Jacob opens his arms for a hug and I move without hesitation. When he wraps his arms around me tight, I can just barely make out the words his whispers, “I’ll be waiting for you in your bedroom when you can sneak away.”

 

He waves at Grandpa Charlie as he exits. Once the door closes, Grandpa Charlie starts grinning, “So tell me about your weekend, kiddo.”

 

-0-

 

It takes much longer than I expected to get Grandpa Charlie distracted by the baseball game. The normally quiet man was very chatty today. Of course, I don’t want to blow him off, I love that he’s here, but still. When I know my wolf is in my bedroom waiting for me, telling my grandfather the edited version of what happened this past weekend is not what I want to be doing.

 

“I’m going to go unpack, Grandpa.”

 

He waves his hand in the air and I know he’s finally absorbed in the game. Picking up my belongings, I move quickly to my room. Once my door is closed behind me, I glance around the empty room.

 

“Jake?” I whisper. I know he’s here, his scent is strong, but I don’t see him in the small space.

 

“Hi,” he mumbles against my neck as I feel him pull me back against his body. He wraps me up in him; his hands against my hips tugging me back as his head slides down my shoulder, nipping at the skin on my neck.

 

It takes everything in me to hold back my moan. Biting my lip, I spin to face him. His grin is wicked, “Now, where were we?”

 

Jacob lifts me up then moves us to the bed, gently placing me on there before covering my body. When his teeth circle my earlobe and tug, my whole body catches fire.

 

“Now isn’t this better than you dragging me out of the car onto the rough ground?”

 

No wanting to chance Grandpa Charlie hearing me, I speak into his mind, “Oops, did I share that thought?”

 

He nods before returning his lips to my shoulder. “You did,” his whispers softly against my skin, “and I like the way you think.”

 

I’m not sure how long we make out, Jacob’s mouth and hands are so distracting to me that I lose all sense of reality. We don’t come up for air until I hear Grandpa Charlie shout from the living room, “Hey! Did you fall asleep in there, kiddo?”

 

Jacob leans back, “Guess that’s my cue to get out of here. Think he’ll let you out for dinner?”

 

“I think I know how to make sure he does,” I give him a quick kiss.

 

“How’s that?” he asks, obviously confused.

 

I lift an eyebrow and he tilts his head. After a minute he laughs, “Ok, I get it. I’ll tell Dad to set a few extra plates on the table.”

 

-0-

 

“So you have dinner with Jacob’s family every Sunday night?” Grandpa Charlie is still unsure about the plans, but as soon as I mentioned Sue was attending, he was on board with joining. Of course, I did have to call Sue to make sure she was available, but she was eager to join when I mentioned Grandpa Charlie would be coming along.

 

_I can be sneaky when I need to._

 

As we approach the red house I easily spot Jacob pacing in the yard. When he hears the patrol car, his head whips around, a smile of relief on his face. Turning back to Grandpa Charlie I give him a smile, “Something like that; I think Billy likes having everyone over.”

 

When the car finally stops, Jacob is at my door. His kiss is slow and soft and leaves me wanting more. When I share this thought he laughs, “Later, at the shop. We still need to work on your car tonight.”

 

The promise of time alone with Jacob gets me through the evening. Dinner is a boisterous affair, especially since Sue insisted Seth and Leah join her. I catch Seth and Jacob looking at each other at one point in the meal, but thankfully Seth breaks the tension quickly. Paul actually behaves himself for once, which surprises me. Rachel asks about my plans for the week while Jacob works and I mention visiting Lillah tomorrow. As soon as the words are out of my mouth I regret them. Rachel’s face lights up as she decides she needs to visit Lillah too, promising to stop by in the afternoon. I’m slightly relieved that I’ll have time with Lillah alone in the morning, but I’m still nervous to have Rachel join. There are just some things you can’t mention when your boyfriend’s sister is around.

 

“Jake, I’m going to take on a couple of extra shifts at the bar this week,” Leah jumps in during a quiet point in the meal.

 

“Oh yeah, cool. Seth, you good alone? I could-- join, if you want.” Jacob glances down at me, and I know he’s trying his best to move past his anger at Seth. I twist my fingers with his, trying my best to support him and show him how proud I am.

 

Seth shakes his head, smiling, “Nah, it’s cool, Jake. I’m good on my own. I’ll howl if I need anything.”

 

“Leah, have you given any more thought to what we discussed the other day?” Sue asks softly.

 

When I turn to look at Leah, she seems almost embarrassed, “Mom, not now. I don’t want to teach ballet to little kids. Yoga and pilates is nothing like ballet. Besides, with a little more money I should have a large enough down payment for the bank to give me a loan without ballet.”

 

“A loan?” I ask, surprised.

 

“Leah wants to teach women how to get bendy,” Paul says, laughing hysterically at his own joke.

 

Rachel shakes her head, “Keep it up, Paul and I’ll make her teach you a few yoga moves.”

 

“I’d like to see him try to hold chair pose for more than two seconds,” Leah rolls her eyes.

 

“You want to teach yoga and pilates?” I’m still trying to follow along with the conversation. Leah and I have never really talked much, so I honestly don’t know much about her, beyond what Jacob has told me.

 

She shrugs, “I’ve learned a lot about how to control my body, and my wolf, through yoga and pilates. I think it’s something that is missing in this area.”

 

“Oh, wow, that sounds like a great plan. Too bad you aren’t interested in teaching ballet though. That could be fun to include for little kids. Claire is always asking me to show her moves.”

 

Sue jumps in, “That’s right! I forgot you take ballet, Ness. Leah, you should work with Ness, she could teach ballet at your studio. That should be enough additional options for your space to make the bank feel your business plan is more diverse.”

 

“Oh, I don’t think I could teach--,” I start.

 

“Mom, that isn’t what I want--,” Leah says over me.

 

Sue waves her hand, “Fine, ignore me, I’m just trying to give you options.”

 

Soon after Jacob announces that he and I are leaving to work on the Mustang. He promises Grandpa Charlie he’ll have me home by eleven. Hugs are shared all around before he pulls me out of the house.

 

Once we reach the shop, we attempt to work on the Mustang, but quickly ignore the car, preferring to use the time we have focused on one another. While his rule is still in place about not taking off clothes below the waist, he still manages to drive me crazy. Between his mouth on my breasts and his hips sliding his hard dick against me, it doesn’t take long for me to scream his name out as I ride out an orgasm.

 

He’s nipping at my shoulder as I come back down to earth, “This is the best Sunday, ever.”

 

“I’m glad you think so. How about I give you the best Monday ever tomorrow?”

 

Snuggling against him, I smile happily, “How do you plan to do that?”

 

“I think it’s time for our first date.”

 

Leaning back, I find his eyes easily. His smile is bright and happy. “Really?”

 

“Really, I love you and I can’t wait to take you out and show you how much I love you.”

 

Wrapping my arms around him, I squeal in excitement. Finally I manage to calm down enough to ask him a serious question, “What should I wear?”

 

“I’m not the best person to ask, I think you look hot in coveralls.”

 

Shaking my head I lean back again, looking him in the eye, “At least give me an idea of what I should wear. Jeans or a ball gown?”

 

He thinks for a moment then finally answers, “Jeans would work, but I like when you wear dresses or skirts. You look really cute in those.”

 

“Ok, I can work with that. So tomorrow night, our first official date.” My face should hurt from all the smiling, but I’m so happy I don’t even notice.

 

“Its a date,” he grins before pulling me back to him.

 

-0-

 

As the front door of the cottage closes softly, I exhale, relieved Grandpa Charlie never came in to check on me during the night. He was still awake when I got home, but quickly said goodnight when I feigned exhaustion from the busy day.

 

“I hate your bed,” Jacob says as he stretches out.

 

“I love you,” I speak softly as I lean over and kiss him.

 

When I pull back, he rises up to kiss me. As we pull apart he grins, “Ok, I don’t hate your bed, it’s just very small.”

 

“It works fine for me,” I grin at him.

 

He shakes his head, “It doesn’t work fine for _us_ though.”

 

I’m not sure how to respond. The idea of _sharing_ my bed with Jacob is still so new that if feels unreal. When I woke up to him holding me tight this morning, it felt like a dream. However, the reality is, my Jacob is very tall, and my bed is too small for him.

 

But before I can say anything, he changes the subject, “Did you ever figure out how to draw my face in love?”

 

I hesitate for just a moment before turning my sketchbook around to show him what I had been working on before he woke up. The portrait of him sleeping is probably one of my favorites I’ve drawn of him recently. He looks so relaxed, even if he was crammed in my tiny bed.

 

“Oh, Ness. I never realized-- you are seriously talented,” Jacob says, almost in awe as he examines the page I’ve shown him.

 

My blush creeps up my neck, “Thanks.” Sighing I look back up at him, “I still can’t get your face right though.”

 

“I was thinking about that,” he says, leaning back against the headboard and pulling me with him. My head rests against his warm chest. His heartbeat is strong and sure, relaxing me as I focus on just him. “How long have you been drawing pictures of my face.”

 

I’m glad I’m not looking at him, my cheeks getting even redder as I admit the truth, “A couple of years.”

 

He chuckles, but doesn’t comment on the duration, “My thought is, I’ve been in love with you for a while. Maybe if you go back through your drawings you’ll find you’ve already drawn my face in love without realizing it.”

 

“When did you realize you love me?” I ask as I draw lazy circles on his stomach with my fingers.

 

He exhales, “Ness, I told you yesterday, I’ve always loved you. Of course, with Edward’s rules, I tried not to think of you that way, but it was difficult to ignore you.”

 

Tilting my head up to him I smile, “So if I was difficult to ignore, when did it happen?”

 

“Honestly?” I nod and he sighs, “I did my best to not pay attention to my emotions, to just be your friend, but during the fourth of July party last month it hit me square in the face.”

 

“What happened? Why?” I ask, so fascinated to know a date.

 

He shakes his head, “I don’t know, you were watching the fireworks and kept looking over your shoulder at me, smiling. It was like you were begging me to join you in your excitement. We hadn’t touched in a while, but when I moved closer to you, you snuggled up against me and everything felt right for a moment. You were happy, smiling, I had you in my arms, and I just knew then that I loved you.”

 

Without a word, I slide off the bed and kneel on the floor. “Ness, what are you doing?” he asks, obviously confused.

 

Waving my hand, I lift my bed skirt and reach under. I know which box I’m looking for and once I find it under my bed, it doesn’t take me long to find the sketchbook I want.

 

Jumping back up on the bed, I flip through the pages. Each one has pictures of the different couples; Embry and Lillah, Paul and Rachel, Sam and Emily, even Quil and Claire pop up on a few pages. Kim and Jared didn’t attend, but that was because she had just had the baby.

 

Finally, as I’m nearing the end of the book, I find the drawing. This was during the fireworks, after Jacob had wrapped his arm around me and given me the happiest smile I’d ever seen. It was the first time he’d touched me in weeks and my heart had soared at the contact. The angle of the drawing is from my perspective, him looking down at me as fireworks go off over his head.

 

I’m shocked by the look in his eyes. That’s the look he has given me so often over the years, but I never realized what it meant. When my eyes reach him now, I see that same look on his face. _He loves me._

 

My eyes dart between his real eyes and the drawing in my lap and I start to tear up, recognizing what I didn’t see before. “You really loved me all along.”

 

He nods, “I really have, and you’ve known how to draw me in love all along, you just didn’t recognize it.”

 

A fresh wave of tears threatens to erupt as he leans down to kiss me. When Jacob leans back, his thumb slides along my cheek, “You really are a talented artist, Ness. I’m glad you are going to get to study it more at school. I’m so proud of you. Also, thanks for making me look so good.”

 

“That’s easy, especially when the subject is as handsome as you are,” I grin, circling my arms around his chest.

 

“I don’t know about that, I still say you have a warped view of how I look,” he winks down at me.

 

“Nope, you are that handsome. Deal.”

 

“Fine. Now, do I get to see more stuff you’ve drawn?”

 

We flip through my sketchbooks, laughing and teasing until he has to leave to get ready for work. I hate the time apart, but I am excited to see Lillah and Hallie.

 

-0-

 

Lillah is standing on the front porch when I pull into her driveway driving the only car from the garage that I feel comfortable in; Dad’s old silver Volvo.

 

As I approach she opens her arms, “I’ve missed you!”

 

When I reach her, I hug her tight in return. It’s been less than a week since I last saw her, but it feels like a lifetime since I’ve really had the chance to talk to Lillah uninterrupted.

 

“Come on in, Hallie just laid back down. She wasn’t happy that Daddy was leaving this morning so she fought nap time.”

 

“Already a Daddy’s girl?” I tease, my voice as soft as possible as I follow her into the kitchen.

 

She pours me a cup of tea and joins me at the table, “You’d better believe it. Of course, it tore Embry up leaving her behind, especially since she was crying her eyes out. He’s already texted me checking up, offering to run home for lunch if I need help.”

 

“That is so sweet of him,” I sigh.

 

She shakes her head, laughing, “It is, but he’s a worry wart. I think it’ll just be worse if he comes home and leaves again. Plus, she has her Aunt Ness around today to keep her entertained and distracted from missing her Daddy.”

 

“And Aunt Rachel,” I sigh, dreading the conversation potentially hanging over my head.

 

Lillah laughs, “Yeah, she texted me earlier. She’s going to the school to get a few things ready for the new year then she’ll be over.”

 

“Oh, are you going to have to go get stuff ready too for the substitute teacher?”

 

I’m surprised when tears spring to Lillah’s eyes, “Not exactly.”

 

“Lillah, what’s wrong?” I ask scooting my chair closer to her.

 

“Nothing, I just had to make a hard decision,” she wipes away the tears and gives me a smile. “I’ve decided to stop teaching, at least for now. There is no way I can put my baby girl in day care. Sue and Emily offered to watch her during the week for me, but even that-- I just can’t imagine being away from her all day. I know it will be hard, transitioning to being a stay-at-home mom, but I think it’s best.”

 

I twist in my chair so I can give her a hug. She’s laughing and crying as we just sit there for a minute. Once I lean back she seems better, “I’m ok, I promise. It was just a tough decision to make; I knew it was coming, and Embry has been completely supportive. He even offered to be Mr. Mom and stay home with her so I could keep working.”

 

The image of Embry being a stay-at-home Dad sends me into a fit of laughter. Every time I think I’m past it, another image pops into my mind. Lillah is laughing right along with me, “I know! He means well, but I saw his apartment before we moved in together. We’d need a maid, a chef, and a nanny just to help him. Which would defeat the purpose.”

 

“That is a tough decision,” I sigh, sobering up. “I’m sorry it came down to that for you.”

 

Lillah waves her hand, dismissing my concern, “It’s ok, I swear. I’m ok with the decision and I actually still get to help out. The person taking my position is a first year teacher. Principal Green asked me to provide a bit of an advisor role and help the teacher out with lesson plans and preparing the classroom. I’m excited about this new phase of my life.”

 

“It doesn’t help that my hormones are all out of whack right now, I cry at the drop of a hat. Embry brought me a bowl of ice cream last night and I just lost it. Poor guy is so confused right now, I feel bad for him. I think he was slightly relieved to go to work today.”

 

Her phone goes off just as she finished speaking. She checks her message and grins, “Apparently the guys are giving him advice on how to deal with me.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

“His message was all about how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have such a sexy wife that gave him the greatest gift in the world of a perfect baby girl,” she rolls her eyes.

 

“That sounds really sweet,” I can’t help laughing at my friend’s reaction.

 

She just shakes her head, “It is sweet, but I know him. Poor guy is not doing well with six weeks of no sex. I’d promised him a little-- treat last night if he brought me ice cream. After my melt down, he felt so bad he didn’t want me to do anything; he just held me until I fell asleep.

 

“This,” she flips the phone around to show me the message, “is his way of buttering me up. I give him steak, he gives me loving comments. He knows I’m a sucker for sweet messages.”

 

My face turns bright red at the direction the conversation has taken. However, I’m still curious, “If you can’t have-- sex, um--what will you do-- to help him?”

 

Lillah turns serious very quickly, “Before I answer that question, how about you update me-- in general terms, I don’t need specifics-- on how far you two have gone so far.”

 

“We’ve kissed,” I start, not sure how much detail she’s wanting.

 

“Oh, I’ve seen you two kiss, remember?” Lillah winks.

 

“Right.” I’m pretty sure my entire face is bright red right now, but I press on. “We’ve removed our tops, and sometimes, when we are alone, he’ll slide himself against me. I really like when he does that. He’s really-- big, and, um-- hard. It feels really nice.”

 

Lillah nods as I speak, but pauses once I finish before she replies, “So just tops have been removed? You haven’t seen his-- penis?”

 

My cheeks feel like they are on fire as I shake my head back and forth. Closing my eyes I squeak out, “But he did-- um-- masturbate-- wow-- in front of me; but he kept his shorts on, so I didn’t-- see-- anything.”

 

“He let you watch him do that?” I nod and she tilts her head for a second, “Had something happened before that?”

 

“I had-- um, he was playing with my--,” my hands wave around my chest and she laughs, obviously catching on to my meaning, “yeah-- those. Anyway, he was teasing and playing and I kind of-- had-- you know.”

 

“An orgasm?” Lillah asks softly, her cheeks turning red as well.

 

I can’t speak I’m so embarrassed but I manage to nod briefly before turning away to give the stove my total and complete attention.

 

“Ok, enough embarrassing questions for now. As for your original question, I’ll help Embry out by probably touching him like Jacob touched himself. As you have already experienced, there are lots of ways to experience pleasure without actually having sex. Embry has proved that to me time-and-time again.”

 

“Really? So you don’t always have-- sex?”

 

Now it’s Lillah’s turn to blush, “Well, inevitably we will always have sex. But, there’s a lot of other stuff that can be just as satisfying and enjoyable as sex. Sounds like you’ve already experienced a couple of those.” She pauses and looks out the kitchen window, like she’s lost in a memory. Her face is bright red now, but she’s smiling happily. “Embry refused to make love to me for so long. At the time I thought something was wrong with me. Once he finally told me about imprinting and being in love with me, it all made sense. As frustrated as I was over what had happened, looking back, I’m so glad he saved making love for when there weren’t any secrets between us.”

 

“Jacob told me he loves me this weekend.”

 

“What?” Lillah practically shouts. She slaps her hand over her mouth but the damage has been done. Hallie’s newborn cries can be heard through the baby monitor. Lillah stares at the monitor for a minute then finally stands up, “Hold that thought.”

 

As she leaves the room, my phone goes off with a text message.

 

_Having fun with L & baby? Because Embry is a joy to be around today. Save me. ~J_

 

I do my best to hold in my laughter. Poor guy. I can just imagine how Embry is handling being away from his family right now. About as well as any of the guys handle it. Which is to say, not very well.

 

_I love you. We are going on our first date tonight. Helping at all? ~N_

 

As I set the phone down, Lillah returns holding the baby, “Hallie was just as shocked by this news and expects you to share the full story with both of us.”

 

Leaning back in my chair, I give Lillah the overview of how Jacob announced he loved me while she feeds Hallie. Just as she’s moving Hallie to her shoulder both of our phones go off with text messages.

 

She shakes her head, “I swear, they don’t actually work so much as drive each other crazy at that shop.”

 

Checking my phone, Lillah’s statement seems like an accurate assessment.

 

_It helps, but Embry is still whining. Says he’s jealous you get to spend the day with his wife and baby. I’m jealous they get to spend the day with you. ~J_

 

“What did yours say?” Lillah asks as she flips her phone around for me to read the message on her screen.

 

_Jake’s rubbing it in that Ness is with you two today. I miss you both. Send pictures. ~E_

 

“Really?” I sigh, laughing at the antics of these two and all the guys in general. I show Lillah my phone and she just shakes her head.

 

“I’ll handle this, hold on,” she presses a button on her phone and puts it up to her ear. Whoever answers recognizes her immediately, “They are at it again. Yeah, Jake and Embry. No, Ness is over here. Sure, if you want to join for lunch we’d love to have you guys stop by. Ok, see you soon.”

 

When I raise an eyebrow at her she gives me a wink, “Emily is on her way over there to handle it.”

 

My laughter startles Hallie, her little body jumping, but she thankfully doesn’t start crying. I type out a quick response to Jacob.

 

 _Be nice, it’s his first day away. I love you and I’ll see you tonight._ ~N

 

Just as I’m finishing up typing, I see Lillah attempting to take a picture of Hallie. “I can take the picture if you’d like.”

 

She hands the phone over, “Embry will love you forever if you get me in the picture too. I’ll just pretend you are just taking a picture of Hallie.”

 

Lillah poses the baby and smiles sweetly as I snap the picture. When I hand the phone back to her she groans. “Everything ok?”

 

She presses a few buttons on her phone then smiles at me, “Yeah. I’m still not a big fan of pictures of myself. My baby girl looks adorable but all I see is a double chin.”

 

“Are you kidding? Lillah, you look amazing. You just had a baby a week ago!”

 

“Embry says the same thing. I know it will take time, I just want to tone up. I feel so flabby. Embry doesn’t want me running any time soon so I need to figure something out. I’m terrible at following those exercise DVD’s, but I’ve considered it.”

 

Remembering the conversation at dinner last night, I’m struck with an idea. I’m not sure how well it will be received by either person involved, but it’s a start at least.

 

“What do you think of yoga or pilates?”

 

“I’d love to try, I’ve looked at a few DVD’s, but some of those moves are pretty intimidating,” Lillah sighs.

 

“I know of someone that is considering opening a yoga and pilates studio in Forks, but they are still working on getting money together. It’s someone you know-- so I’m not sure how interested you’d be.”

 

“Who?” Lillah asks, the hesitation evident in her voice.

 

“Leah,” I whisper.

 

Lillah is silent for a moment, her face clear of any expression. “Huh.” She looks down at Hallie for a moment then smiles up at me, “You know, I’ve never considered what Leah does when she’s not patrolling. I know she’s close with the guys, and Embry mentioned she works at a bar, but I honestly never thought about her beyond that.

 

“What if my little girl ends up becoming a wolf?” I’m shocked by Lillah’s change in subject, but she links it back to the topic at hand, “I’d hate for the imprints of her generation not to know what a wonderful woman she is, just because she’s a wolf and not an imprint. It doesn’t mean she isn’t a woman.”

 

“Thank you for the idea, Ness. I think reaching out to her like this might be the perfect opportunity to get to know her better.” She gives me a hesitant smile, “If she’s willing, would you consider joining? I think it might be nice if a couple of us worked with her, showed her we all support her in this endeavor.”

 

“I-- maybe. Depending on when she offers the class. If it’s on the weekends I should be able to join during school.”

 

“Oh my gosh, with everything else I forgot to ask what is going on with that. So you are still going?”

 

I can’t hold back my smile as I nod, “That’s the plan-- and Jacob is going to join me during the week in Seattle. Then on the weekends we are going to come back here.”

 

“That sounds wonderful, but what is Jacob going to do while you are in school?” she asks, clearly concerned.

 

“I don’t know. He says not to worry, that he’ll figure everything out.” Shaking my head I turn to Lillah, “Should I be concerned?”

 

“If there is one thing I’ve learned through all of this, those guys will do anything for us. If Jacob says he’ll figure it out, then I trust him. He knows school is important to you, so I have faith he’ll make it work.”

 

Even though Lillah’s reassurance is similar to what my mom said, hearing it from another imprintee helps make me feel a bit better. Remembering another part of my conversation I bite my lip, unsure how to request Lillah’s assistance.

 

“What?” she asks, obviously seeing my nervousness.

 

“Well, there’s something I wanted to ask you. Mom is working on getting Jacob and I a place in Seattle-- a place of our own near campus.”

 

“Oh! Ness, so you guys are going to live together?”

 

Nodding slowly I’m surprised by the thrill this idea sends through me. In just a few weeks, Jacob and I will be living together. No more sneaking around trying to find time to be together around my father’s rules. We’ll be under the same roof, my wolf and I. _I can’t wait._

 

“That’s very exciting!” Lillah is trying to hold still since Hallie has fallen back to sleep, but I can see her managing a little dancing around in her chair.

 

“It is,” I agree, “but there’s a problem. I have no idea what or how to cook for him. My mom has always cooked for me. I know the basics of cooking, but I have no clue about specifics. Would you mind-- maybe giving me some pointers? Or teaching me some stuff you think he might like?”

 

“Of course! I’d love to teach you! In fact,” she glances up at the clock, “Emily, Claire and Eli are coming over for lunch in about an hour, how about we start there?”

 

“Sure!” I bounce for her, my excitement bubbling over.

 

-0-

 

“Ness, this tastes awesome. Aunt Lillah is an amazing teacher. She taught me how to make cookies for my Quily you know.”

 

Ever since Claire arrived, she’s been bouncing around, telling me all about what I’ve missed and asking me questions about Jacob and I. Ever since I told her Lillah showed me how to make lunch she hasn’t stopped about how great it is. “Uncle Jake is going to love having you cook for him. My Quily asks me to make him cookies all the time now.”

 

Emily shakes her head, “I think Uncle Sam asks for those cookies as much as Quil does, Claire.”

 

“Yep, he likes them ‘cause you and I make ‘em together, Aunt Emmy. Just like Uncle Bry liked those cookie Aunt Lillah and I made. They like when we cook for them,” Claire says with certainty.

 

“That’s good to know,” I giggle at Claire. “I have a lot to learn if I’m going to feed Jacob when we are away in Seattle.”

 

Claire pouts for a second, “But you are coming back, right? You aren’t leaving forever.”

 

“We’ll be here on the weekends as much as possible. Definitely for the bonfires.”

 

“YAY!” Claire claps and Eli joins in, shouting along with her. Hallie attempts to twist her head away from Lillah to look for the source of the noise.

 

“It’s just your cousins, baby,” Lillah whispers as Hallie turns back to her.

 

“Well, I agree with Claire’s assessment,” Rachel grins, “my brother will be in good hands in Seattle. I’m still not happy you’ll be leaving us, even during the week, but I guess I understand.”

 

“I know, Rachel,” I sigh, “but we’ll be back, I promise. We can’t miss Jacob’s nieces or nephews joining the world.”

 

“Don’t forget, Ness, they are your nieces or nephews too,” Rachel winks.

 

While I’ve always been close with this group, now that I truly know my place, I’m so happy to be among them. Knowing they consider me an equal and a part of their family makes me want to cry with joy. I manage only to nod at Rachel before she laughs and pulls me close.

 

“No tears,” she whispers, “or you’ll make Lillah and I cry. Then Emily will cry too just because she’s a big ol’ softy.”

 

“I am not a softy,” Emily laughs. “I got those boys under control earlier, didn’t I?”

 

Rachel laughs, “Oh my God, what were they doing? Even Paul was texting me whining this morning.”

 

“Sorry, my husband has separation issues,” Lillah giggles.

 

“They all do,” Emily snorts as she wipes Eli’s face.

 

He jumps down and runs right over to Hallie, “Hi, Ha-ee. Iz Eie. I lub you.” He gives her a quick kiss on the top of her head then turns to Claire, “Come on, Care, we play nows.”

 

As the two of them exit the room I can’t help melting at Eli, “Emily, he is the most precious thing ever.”

 

“He loves his cousin Hallie. When we are at home he points to her picture and just starts going on and on. He thinks she’s the coolest thing ever.” Emily blushes a bit then turns to Lillah, “He asked me the other day if we could have a Hallie too.”

 

“Oh no! Did Sam put him up to it?” Lillah asks, laughing through her shock.

 

“I don’t know, but he’s pushing for it too,” Emily shakes her head.

 

“What?” I ask, confused.

 

“Sam has baby fever. He wants another one so bad,” Emily grins, “not that I don’t want another one, just not quite yet.”

 

“Has Jacob gotten baby fever?” Rachel asks hesitantly.

 

Shaking my head I turn to her, “Not as far as I know. He said he wants to wait a couple of years.”

 

“That makes sense. You guys are still so young, and have-- well, forever, honestly,” she laughs.

 

“Yeah, that’s what he said too,” I sigh, relieved to see she isn’t upset.

 

Lillah giggles, “Maybe he’ll catch baby fever when it’s Claire and Quil’s time.”

 

Emily cringes, “Do not even joke about that. Sam is already freaking out about when those two really get serious. He is not ready to have Quil sharing Claire’s bed. Honestly, I’m not either. I know he’s going to fight it, but I think she needs to be eighteen before they-- change their relationship.”

 

“At least she knows,” I whisper, “but I don’t think it will be any easier for them. My birthday is in a month and it’s killing me waiting to ‘really’ be with Jacob.”

 

Emily nods, “I know, Ness. We’ll have to play it by ear, but it’s very hard to let go of the innocent little girl. She plays wedding every day. When Quil is there, he doesn’t hesitate being her groom. We know he’s meant for her and he would lay down his life for her, but she’s practically my daughter. I hate what your parents did, but at the same time, I can completely understand their motivation.”

 

“It’s ok, Emily. I do understand. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for you and Sam. I’ll help if I can, when the time is right. Talk to Claire if you think it would do any good.”

 

“Thanks, Ness,” Emily smiles, “I might start taking you up on that. She adores you.”

 

“The feeling is mutual, she’s an awesome kid,” I grin back at Emily. I really do feel for her and Sam, but at the same time, my heart aches at being separated from Jacob today. While sharing a bed for the past couple of nights has been amazing, I know we will be separated again at night soon. I dread trying to fall asleep without him holding me. Now that I’ve had that taste, it’s so very hard to let go.

 

“Soon enough,” Lillah pats my hand as she stands up, carrying Hallie back to her bedroom to sleep.

 

My phone beeps for the first time since we sat down for lunch. When I check it, my heart skips a beat.

 

_I’m going to patrol with Embry, but I’ll pick you up at 7. I miss you. I love you. ~J_

 

Sighing happily I reply back.

 

_K. Love you too. Be nice to Embry! ~N_

 

“Text from the boyfriend?” Rachel asks, a grin on her face.

 

“Yep!”

 

She laughs, “Does he send you little love notes or tell you how horny he is?”

 

“Rachel!” Emily gasps.

 

“What?” she chokes out. “I’m just trying to gauge if my baby brother is a pansy-ass or a manly man.”

 

“He sends very nice love notes,” I whisper.

 

“Ugh. Pansy-ass. I should have known. This is Rebecca’s doing. She was too nice to him. I told her we needed to toughen him up, but no, she babied him all along. I’m so disappointed in him.”

 

Rachel gives me a wink and I know this is just the beginning of the uncomfortable conversations she’s going to have with me. Somehow, I don’t mind. The more I’m around Rachel, the more I like how outspoken she is. I could maybe learn a thing or two from her. _Like how to get more of what I want from my wolf._

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Don’t you just love quality imprint-bonding time. We sure do! Don’t forget to hit that little review button! See you in 2 weeks!


	16. Spike My Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Trust us that SM had no hand in writing this story. She created the characters, but she would not have let them have the fun we do!
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Welcome back and thank you for your patience and sticking with us. As we mentioned previously, we both got hit with a shit storm of life at the same time. Right after WH’s doggy got home safe and sound, NKR’s doggy had to have surgery. Both are doing much better, and work is starting to stabilize for us both. There should not be a need for a skipped posting again any time soon. As always, we wanted to give you the best chapter possible, rather than rushing it just to make a scheduled post date. This is the chapter we wanted to give you and hope you enjoy it!

** Chapter 16 “Spike My Blood” **

****

_You're so delicious_

_you're so soft_

_sweet on the tip of my tongue_

_you taste like sunlight_

_and strawberry bubble gum_

 

_you bite my lip_

_you spike my blood_

_you make my heart beat faster_

 

_own me, you own_

_you rattle my bones_

_you turn me over and over_

_'till I can't control myself_

_make me a liar_

_one big disaster_

_you make my heart beat faster_

**“** Faster **” -** Matt Nathanson

 

 

** JPOV **

****

-0-

 

My heart is pounding at an obnoxious rate as I pull off the main road. I’ve driven up this driveway too many times to count, but like so many other times recently, this time is drastically different from any before. Tonight I’m going to pick up my girlfriend, _my imprint_ , to take her on our first official date. While I’ve seen her nearly every day since she was born, this night will be a turning point for us, no matter what happens. This is my one and only chance to have a first date with her, and I want this night to be perfect.

 

When I finally stop the car in front of the cottage I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself. I’m thankful Edward and Bella aren’t here tonight, but I know Charlie won’t make it easy on me, especially after he walked up on Ness and I making out in my car yesterday. _Not my finest moment._ In my defense, my imprint was distracting me with thoughts of dragging me out of the car to give us more room to maneuver. While she has, for the most part, let me take the lead on progressing the relationship, the fact that she even considered dragging me out of the car was hot.

 

Reaching for the flowers that Embry insisted I needed to get for her, I exit the car as quickly as possible. The guys were giving me suggestions all day on what to wear, where to take her and how to act on my date with Ness. _Like I don’t know how to take my imprint out on a nice date._ Granted, I haven’t been on a date since well before she was born, but I know how to impress my girl. _I think._

 

Since I saw Charlie’s patrol car in the driveway, I decide to knock instead of walking in like normal. I hear him shuffle his feet to the door before he opens it and looks out at me, his eyes narrowed.

 

“Jacob.” His gruff voice tells me he still isn’t happy with me.

 

“Hey Charlie,” I say, trying to infuse as much innocence into the greeting as possible.

 

He steps back, waving his hand in, but I can see the snarl cross his lips as I walk past.

 

Once he closes the door behind me, he follows me to the couch, “So you’re taking my granddaughter out on a date. On a weeknight?”

 

Taking a seat, I strain my ears to try to hear any hint of Ness. After a few moments of concentration I hear her heart fluttering away as she softly hums in her bedroom. Knowing that she is close by and in good spirits, I take a deep breath and turn to face Charlie’s inquisition.

 

“It’s really the first chance we’ve had to go on out since I told her about the imprinting-- thing.” Charlie visibly flinches at the word “imprinting”.

 

“Does she get any say in this-- ugh-- imprint crap?” Charlie’s huffs his way through the question.

 

I can’t help smiling, “Of course she has a say in it. If she wasn’t interested, I would back off. I just want her happy.”

 

“Are you the only one that has done-- that-- on an unsuspecting girl?”

 

“No,” I chuckle, “pretty much all the guys have imprinted; Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil--.”

 

“Quil? He’s not married-- who’d he imprint on?” Of course Charlie would catch on to that part.

 

I sigh, “Well, he’s sort of going through what I’ve been going through. He imprinted on-- Claire.”

 

“Claire? Emily’s niece? But she’s a little girl!”

 

I jump in before Charlie can assume the worst, “It’s not like that Charlie. Quil is Claire’s best friend, just like I was Ness’ best friend for all those years. I told you, I just want Ness happy. That’s all Quil wants with Claire. Being best friends with Quil makes Claire happy right now. When the time is right, it will change, but until then, there’s nothing going on.”

 

Charlie is still visibly upset, but he can’t seem to figure out what to say to contradict me. Using the opportunity of his silence I continue, “Charlie, I would wait a century for Ness if she asked me. She keeps me human, sane. I would do anything for her. That’s what imprinting is about.”

 

“And everyone-- even the girls-- are happy?” He’s still snarling, but he seems to relax a bit.

 

“Of course we’re happy, Grandpa!” Ness comes bouncing in and sits between us on the couch. She leans over and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, noticing the flowers in my hand, “For me?”  


I nod, holding back my laughter as she squeals in delight, taking the flowers from me. Before I can even process she’s moved, she’s back sitting between Charlie and I. The flowers are now displayed on the coffee table in a sparkling vase that I’m sure costs more than the house I bought for us, but I can’t care about that. The smile on her face is priceless. I’d give her all the flowers in the world to see her that happy all the time.

 

She gives me a quick hug and whispers against my ear, “I love them. Thank you!”

 

Before I can reply, she turns to face Charlie, “Do you see how sweet Jacob is, Grandpa? How can I not be happy? Jacob is amazing, and he isn’t the only one.” She presses her hand to Charlie’s face and closes her eyes for just a moment, “See, Lillah, Rachel, Emily, even Claire, they are all happy. We love our wolves.”

 

Charlie starts to pull away, shaking his head over whatever Ness just showed him. “Fine. I just don’t want you being-- forced into any kind of relationship if you aren’t ready. You’re still so young.”

 

“It’s ok, Grandpa, I’ll always love you. Besides, how do you think I feel having to share you with Sue?” She gives him a wink before smiling at me.

 

He chokes, “Now Ness, there’s nothing--.”

 

“Sure, Grandpa.” She leans over and whispers in his ear, but I can hear her every word, “She invited you to the bonfire this month, that’s a big deal. She likes you. Ask her out!”

 

“HRMPH,” Charlie shakes his head as she leans back, a proud smile on her face. “Dating is for you kids.”

 

Ness stands up, grabbing my hand in the process. I don’t argue, following her lead. She leans over and gives Charlie a peck on the cheek, “It’s ok if you date Sue, Grandpa. You should go visit her tonight while we are gone. I bet she’d make you a nice dinner if you asked nicely.”

 

“That’s enough, Ness,” Charlie huffs, but there is a smile on his face.

 

Ness turns around, pulling me toward the front door. Her hand is on the knob when Charlie catches on that we are leaving.

 

“Hey! Not too late. Jacob, have her back here by eleven.”

 

“Midnight, Grandpa,” Ness calls over her shoulder.

 

When I glance back at Charlie, he isn’t happy, but I can tell he doesn’t want to argue with his granddaughter. “Fine, but not a minute past. You hear me, Jacob Black? You have her back here at midnight at the absolute latest.”

 

“Yes sir, I’ll have her back by then, I promise.”

 

Ness giggles at my formal reply and opens the door. She turns and waves at Charlie as she closes the door behind her. As we walk away from the cottage, we can both hear him speaking.

 

“Hey, Sue? It’s Charlie. My granddaughter just abandoned me for the night. Mind keeping an old guy company?”

 

-0-

 

“You look very handsome tonight,” Ness sighs, leaning her head against my shoulder as her hand slides along my exposed forearm. “You should wear button down shirts more often.”

 

Her giggle catches my attention. When I glance over at her, there is a soft glow of pink covering her whole face as she looks up at me. “What?” she asks softly, her voice just a whisper in my mind.

 

“Just looking at my imprint. You are too beautiful for words.”

 

Once we were out of the cottage I had a chance to see what she was wearing. _A dress._ I instantly jumped to how easy it would be to touch her. Sliding my hands up her thighs wouldn’t be difficult. I managed to stop my thoughts before I got too carried away, but the idea is still in the back of my mind.

 

Flashes of my shirt pop into my mind, followed by her hand sliding along the buttons, slowly releasing each one.

 

“Ness,” I warn.

 

“Sorry,” she giggles, “I was distracted.”

 

She clears her throat and smiles up at me as she changes the subject, “I really did love my flowers, thank you again.”

 

“Sure, sure. Glad you like them,” I mumble, feeling a little tongue tied all of a sudden. The pressure to make every part of tonight perfect for her is overwhelming. The flowers were only a small part of the whole evening, but even that little detail being enjoyed by her means the world to me.

 

Her fingers trace the lines of the veins on my arm. “I love you,” she whispers into my mind. “No matter what happens, that won’t ever change.”

 

“I love you, too, Ness,” I sigh, knowing she’s trying to help me to relax. I appreciate the effort, but the pressure is still there. “I just want tonight to be perfect.”

 

“It will be,” she grins, “any time I get with you is perfect.”

 

Once the car is parked I glance over at her, “Even the last bonfire?”

 

She tilts her head, giving me a confused look, “What?”

 

“The last bonfire didn’t go at all like I had planned. I’m sorry if I ruined it for you.”

 

“Jacob,” she whispers, “it wasn’t a great evening for either of us, but how that night ended will forever make it one of the best nights of my life. I’m your imprint, Jacob, and that was the night you told me. Plans fall apart, things don’t always happen like they should, but in the end, I will always remember that bonfire; my life changed-- for the better.”

 

My heart clenches at her words. The plan for our date tonight was to make up for the bonfire last month, however it sounds like that isn’t necessary. I’m once again amazed by her. Every idea that crosses my mind on how to reply to her feels inadequate, so I decide there is only one way to respond.

 

Leaning forward, I pull her tight against my chest, “I love you.” Her smile is just blooming as my lips find hers.

 

I’m just about to pull her into my lap when she speaks softly into my mind, “Jake, our date?”

 

“Don’t you like making out in my car?” I ask, teasing her by sliding my lips over to her ear.

 

She sighs happily, tilting her head as I slowly move to her neck, “I do, but it is a bit cramped.”

 

“Hmmm, how do you feel about making out on blankets set up on the beach?”

 

Her smile is wide as she looks me in the eye, “Is that your plan for the night? Because if it is, I definitely approve!”

 

“That’s part of it,” I chuckle. Sighing, I release her, “Letting go of you for even a second is too difficult for words.”

 

I jump out of the car and move to open her door. As soon as she is out, I pull her against me, “I think I’m addicted to you.”

 

“I know I’m addicted to you,” she sighs, wrapping her arms tight around my chest as her head drops to my heart.

 

My lips drop to the crown of her head as my hands slide up and down her back. When I reach the edge of her sweater, I move my fingers under the sweater. I follow the material of her dress up until I find the exposed skin of her back. As I begin the explore I realize there is nothing connecting her dress to her shoulders.

 

Leaning back I glance at her, “Strapless?”

 

“Yes,” she says as she gives me a wicked grin.

 

“If your goal was to kill me, a strapless dress is the perfect weapon.” I recognize I’m groaning, but the temptation is so strong that I’m fighting even continuing this discussion. My body wants to scoop her up and devour her. It takes all my willpower to remove my hands from her back. While her hips are just as distracting, that little bit of distance affords me enough breathing room that I can almost think past my unyielding desire for her.

 

“Why is that?” she asks, sliding her hands along my forearms.

 

I consider my options. I can blow it off, make a joke about it, or I can be flat out honest with her. She knows I want her. Hell, she’s watched my fucking masturbate. The truth shouldn’t shock her, but I know I can’t take things as far as I want to with her, at least not right now and definitely not tonight. However, as difficult as it will be to pull away later, denying sharing with her what I’m thinking right now is impossible.

 

Placing my lips against her ear my voice is gruff as I whisper the truth to her, “Because all I can think about is bunching that dress up around your waist. A quick pull down will expose your breasts to me. Pushing up the dress would mean the only thing stopping me from touching you would be your panties-- and those are easily removed.”

 

He entire body shakes in my arms. “Jake,” she moans, “I want that.”

 

“I do too,” I groan. Tightening my grip on her hips to make sure she remains standing, I force myself to step back from her. “Soon, Ness. But right now, I want to give you a wonderful first date.”

 

“Ok.” She takes a few shallow breaths and I even see her visibly gulp before her eyes lock with mine again. “Ok, date. But Jacob,” she smiles softly but the color filling her cheeks warns me I’m in trouble, “I REALLY want that to happen. Tonight.”

 

This time it’s me gulping and taking shallow breaths. I’m barely able to choke out, “We’ll see.”

 

Her smile is broad as she leans into my chest, “It’s ok, Jacob, I’ll still stop us before we go too far.”

 

She knows I’m going to give into her, of course. If she asks me for something I would move heaven and earth to get it for her, and she knows that. What’s scary to me is how she uses that knowledge to get me to speed things up with her. _Guess she is sort of like Edward in some ways._ Of course, I don’t mind _her_ manipulating me; her I love. Plus, her manipulation usually means a lot of pleasure for me, not the pain that Edward usually delivers.

 

When I take a deep breath, she tilts her head back, grinning at me. “So about this date...”

 

“Right,” I chuckle, taking her hand and leading her toward the area we typically use for the bonfire. As much as the other guys are a pain in my ass most of the time, I’m thankful for them tonight. A small bonfire is going with a blanket set-up near the fire that includes a cooler and a picnic basket. My sister promised a nice meal in the picnic basket, but wouldn’t tell me what she was making. While I know Ness won’t eat much, I still like to make sure she eats, and I hope the food Rachel made is at least something she likes.

 

“Jacob! What’s all this?” Ness asks as she looks around, taking in the area.

 

Shrugging I give her a hesitant smile, “I know the night ended great, but I still wanted to make up for the last bonfire. So I had the guys and Rachel help me set this up.”

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” she says as she wraps her arms around my body. “I love it, and I love you.”

 

Lifting her chin I look down into those deep brown eyes that I love so much, “I did it because I love you. I want tonight to be perfect.”

 

“It will be,” she lifts her lips to mine, her kiss soft and sweet.

 

Managing to pull away from her, I lead her to the blanket and help her get settled. The sun is setting over the ocean just as I sit down next to her on the blanket. She leans her head against my shoulder, “I wish you could sit out on a blanket with me at the next bonfire.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“Because all the other imprints get to snuggle with their wolves during bonfires. I mean, we sat with each other before-- but I always wished things were different with us. Now that they are, but you won’t be sitting with me during the bonfires.”

 

I can hear the pouting in her voice and can’t help but smile, “Actually-- I was talking to Sam today. He offered to sit in for me as an Elder during bonfires every other month. So next month I will be able to share a blanket with you.”

 

I’m wiggling my eyebrows as she pulls back. She’s shaking her head and smiling at the same time, “Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

“Remind me to thank him next time I see him.”

 

“Well, there is a price to his kindness. I had to promise we would watch Claire and Eli every other month so he and Emily could have a date night.”

 

She giggles as she leans back against me, “That’s worth it. I like Claire and Eli.”

 

“Yeah, but it also means we’ll have to babysit Quil too,” I chuckle out. As much as I joke, I know how Quil feels and know there’s no way he’d miss an opportunity to spend time with Claire.

 

“Jake,” she laughs, “be nice.”

 

“I’m always nice. He’s the one that starts trouble.” Quil will always be one of my best friends, but I still love giving him shit.

 

“Speaking of trouble, did you guys get any work done today? We were all getting messages during the day.”

 

The sun is getting lower on the horizon. Wanting to make sure she watches the sunset, I adjust us slightly so that she is sitting between my legs. Brushing her hair aside, I rest my chin against her shoulder as my hands wrap around her waist.

 

“We worked, don’t worry. We can argue and work at the same time, it’s a skill of ours.” My mouth slides over the column of her neck all the way to the edge of her sweater.

 

She sighs and laughs at the same, “Good to know. In between all that arguing, did you get a chance to talk to Embry about testing my gift?”

 

“Yep,” I use my chin to push her sweater aside, exposing more of my shoulder to me. “He said you could try any time, as long as he’s there too.”

 

“I get that,” Ness nods slowly and in the process tilts her head back to rest against my shoulder, sharing more of her neck with me.

 

“I want to be there too, Ness,” I whisper just before I let my teeth sink into her exposed shoulder.

 

Her back arches as I increase the pressure on her beautiful skin. I can see her breasts rising and falling as her breath turns into shallow pants. I’m reminded of Rosalie and Emmett mentioning that biting is a turn on for vamps. I’m not sure if it is because of being a half-vampire, but Ness definitely seems to enjoy me biting her.

 

“Yes, Jake!”

 

Pulling back slightly, I examine my work on her neck as I whisper, “Glad you agree.”

 

“What?” Ness asks, twisting her head. When her eyes meet mine I can tell she’s confused.

 

“I’m going to join you when you test out your gift on Embry and Lillah,” I reply, speaking slowly.

 

“Oh,” she sighs, leaning back against my chest. Her fingers dance over my arms which are still wrapped around her waist. “Yes, I definitely want you there.”

 

“Jake,” my name is said as she exhales.

 

“Tathut?” My tongue slides over the spot my teeth just vacated. While she doesn’t have a visible mark on her skin, her breathing is still very shallow and her heart is going so fast that I can’t distinguish the individual beats.

 

She spins around quickly, facing me as her arms wrap around my neck. She pulls herself up until all I see in front of my eyes are the tops of her breasts peeking out over her dress. As my eyes explore, I realize there are bicycles all over her dress. _She’s so cute. And hot. God I love her._

 

Using her fingers, she tilts my head back slightly so I can look her in the eyes. She gives me a wicked grin before whispering against my lips, “Enough talking.”

 

Her lips are against mine, soft, but still demanding. My body eagerly answers her request. I easily twist her around, laying her out on the blanket while not breaking the connection of our lips. As I sink my body onto hers, her moan is followed by one of her legs wrapping around mine.

 

My hips thrust against hers of their own volition. Even though we are both fully clothed, my body is primed and ready for her. Thankfully, she is eager too, though slightly unsure. Her hips tentatively lift to meet mine. Her fingers twist in my hair and pull roughly as she uses her grip on my neck to lift herself closer to me.

 

Just when I think I can’t take much more, that I’m going to make a mess all over my jeans, Ness pushes against me. I’m so distracted that I don’t realize she’s moving us until I recognize the absence of her hands around my neck.

 

“Jake, I’m going to take off your shirt now,” she speaks softly against my lips before sitting up. In this new position, she is seated right on my cock. I can’t begin to argue with her about the shirt when I’m arguing with my body. As I try to calm myself down I do my best not think about the fact that there are just a few scraps of fabric between my cock and her pussy.

 

_Fucking hell-- her pussy._

 

I manage to keep my groan internal, but only barely. While I’ve considered having sex with her, making love to her, I’ve stopped myself before I’ve considered her body in the past. But now that I’ve considered it, I’m aching to explore that hidden part of her body. _Her pussy._

 

Unable to control myself, I grip her thighs tightly, holding her is place as I push my hips up. “Ahhh! Oh, Jake!” To my utter shock, she pushes against me, twisting her hips. I can feel her panties easily gliding back and forth which means she must be so fucking wet right now.

 

I feel her tug on my shirt just before I hear popping noises all around. Looking down, I realize she’s ripped the buttons off my shirt. My shirt hangs loose around my sides as her hands slide up my chest.

 

When her hands reach my neck, her lips return to mine. She’s flashing images in my mind of what she’s feeling, what she wants to feel. She’s enjoying being on top, tearing my shirt off. She really likes when my cock is between her legs. This form of communication is fucking hot as hell and serves to keep me on the edge. When she whispers a request in my mind it takes me a moment to distinguish it from her other thoughts, “Jake. Touch me-- there.”

 

Groaning, I do my best to be gentle as I lift her off of me and return her to the blanket. I lean over her, but I’m careful not to touch her. Taking deep gulps of breath, I focus on what I’m going to say to her.

 

“Ness, I promise, this isn’t what I had planned for tonight,” closing my eyes I try to ignore the echo of her words in my mind. Shaking my head I open my eyes and focus on her, “We don’t have to rush right now.”

 

“I know,” she rolls over onto her side, her lips almost touching mine. “We have time still for what you have planned, but right now--,” she bites her lip as she takes a quick inhale of breath, “right now I want your hands on me.” She closes the distance between our lips, her kiss more urgent than before.

 

“Please, Jake. Touch me.”

 

Those simple words break me. Her pleading tone in my mind is something I can’t fight. No matter how slow I want to take things, she truly has final say in what happens between the two of us. And right now, she doesn’t want slow.

 

I push her back to the blanket, my lips barely moving from hers as I remove my now useless shirt. Once I’m free, I lean over her, my hands moving down her dress, searching for the opening. When I finally find the zipper on the side, I slowly lower it. My fingers slide along her bare skin as I move the zipper lower. When I reach her hip, I force myself to stop. While I could easily remove her dress right now, I need all the material I can keep on her to prevent me from going too far. Sliding my fingers back up her rib cage, I move sideways across her abdomen, pushing the material of the top of the dress out of the way. As the top slides lower toward her waist, her breasts peek out.

 

When her nipples are in full view, my eyes jump up to hers, “No bra?”

 

She shakes her head but doesn’t say anything else.

 

“Fucking hell,” I grunt out as I push the rest of the material down to her waist, her chest now on full display for me. My mouth moves to the closest nipple, teasing the tip with my tongue as my free hand plays with her other breast.

 

Ness shouts my name, though if it is actually out loud or just in my mind, I have no idea. I’m just about to switch my mouth to her other breast when I feel her tug my head up. Her lips attack mine as I feel her wiggle against me.

 

Knowing what she wants doesn’t make the transition any easier. I want to touch her entire body, but I know she’s impatient now. I continue tugging at her nipples until she whimpers aloud, her frustration and eagerness for more evident.

 

While I know she wants more, I still want to take my time, enjoy learning her body. Moving my hand over the skirt of her dress, I move to the end of the fabric. Gripping the edge, I slowly scoot it higher, my knuckles grazing her knee and thigh. She gasps at the contact, her lips losing their connection with mine as she takes in air.

 

My brain is telling me to stop, the need to hold back ingrained in my mind, but my imprint’s need is stronger than my will. My fingers continue their ascent until I feel the edge of her panties. “Are you sure, Ness?” I ask, needing to make sure this is truly what she wants.

 

She leans back slightly, a smile growing on her swollen lips, “Jake, I promise, I’m sure. There’s more I want, but I need this-- you-- tonight.”

 

Pushing all my doubts aside, I give my girl what she _needs_ from me. Her hands twist into my hair as I return my lips to her. Using my body to guide her, I push her back onto the blanket. Once she is settled, my fingers start exploring the smooth skin of her hip.

 

Slowly I glide my fingers along the edge of her panties, sliding lower and lower along her thigh with each pass. I can feel the heat growing the closer I get to her center. The sounds and thoughts coming from her as I explore serve to turn me on more. As much as I’m focused on her, my cock is throbbing away in my jeans.

 

Adjusting slightly, I move my fingers higher, to the skin above her panties. Her stomach is flat, but I can feel her entire body moving from her quick and sharp breaths. She releases my mouth and moans when I slide one finger beneath the fabric barrier.

 

Unable to keep the torture up for either of us, I slide over the material covering her hips until my hand is cupping the area between her thighs. The heat coming from her feels like it should burn, but it is so exquisite that all I can think of is wanting to get her even hotter. Very slowly I move my entire hand over her, feeling her panties slide around easily from how wet she is already.

 

“Jacob!” she gasps, her lips moving to my neck as she tightens her grip on my hair. “So close.”

 

I feel her teeth slide along my skin just as I pull my middle finger back, applying a tiny bit of pressure with the movement. Her teeth add pressure to my neck at the same rate as my finger against her. The harder I push, the harder she pushes. When I swirl my fingers around her, I feel her tongue dance along my neck before she sucks my skin deeper into her mouth.

 

Based on the thoughts she sharing with me, she’s not even aware she’s got her mouth on my neck. Not that I mind, my only focus is her right now. Her every thought is centered on my hand. Her hips are pushing harder against me, demanding more. I can feel her entire body shaking as she approaches her edge.

 

There is an odd twinge at my neck just as I push hard against her center, seeking her clit through her panties. Her whole body convulses as her orgasm takes over, but she never drops her hands from my hair or removes her lips from my neck.

 

-0-

 

The fact that I didn’t blow a wad in my jeans should really be commended. I’m pretty sure right now I wouldn’t even be able to unzip my jeans without coming all over the place.

 

She has loosened her grip on my neck, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind what just happened. _My girl drank my blood when she came. She fucking bit me. And holy hell, I want her to do it again and again._

 

Ness did bite me when she was younger, but she never took my blood. As she got older, she stopped all together. When Rosalie mentioned biting the other night, I was serious when I said Ness was welcome to bite me. I doesn’t bother me; hell, it’s a turn on. Of course, I never would have guessed she’d take my blood. As shocked as I am though, I can’t deny how fucking hard I am right now; that shit was hot as fucking hell.

 

_Warm. Rich. Strong._

 

As she comes down from her orgasm, Ness’ thoughts are clearly focused on my blood. I can almost taste what she tastes from her thoughts.

 

“Oh God! Jacob, are you ok?” Ness shouts, her hand covering her mouth as she suddenly realizes what just happened.

 

“I’m fine! It’s ok, Ness,” I reassure her, placing my lips on her forehead.

 

That doesn’t help though. She’s shaking her head, her eyes wide with panic, “Jacob, I swear, I didn’t mean to! I don’t want to bite humans or drink their blood. It’s wrong! I shouldn’t have--.”

 

Sitting up, I lift her easily into my lap, “Shhhh. Ness, it’s fine. I promise, I’m not mad.”

 

“But, Jacob-- I didn’t mean to do that! I swear. I just-- I was-- turned on. I didn’t even think.” There are tears falling from her eyes as she looks up at me, “I’m so sorry, Jacob.”

 

“Ness,” lifting her face, I wipe at her tears, “you don’t need to apologize.” Chuckling, I lean forward, my nose brushing against hers, “I’m not exactly human. And trust me, I enjoyed it just as much as you did.”

 

“What?”

 

Her eyes are full of worry, but I feel her hope blooming. “Ness, I have plenty of blood. And I heal quickly. Anything you just took will be replaced by morning. It’s fine. I feel fine. Well, not fine. I’m horny as hell right now, but physically I’m fine.”

 

“I didn’t hurt you?”

 

“No. You did not hurt me. How do you feel?”

 

She glances away for just a second and I see the red of her blush darken her cheeks before she gives me a shy smile, “I feel-- great. Honestly, I’ve never felt this good.”

 

“Really?” I’m not shocked given her thoughts, but it’s still a little surprising to me.

 

She nods, “I feel-- powerful and energized.” She wraps her hands around my arm and shares the reactions of her body to my blood. “I’ve never felt like this before, Jacob. If feels-- amazing.”

 

“Better than animal blood?” I ask, laughing.

 

“Oh,” she gasps, “not even comparable. The strength-- Jake, I-- Jake, I feel completely different. Animal blood never felt like this.” Tilting her head down she whispers softly, “Not even human blood feels like this. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strong and alive.”

 

“Does that mean you are strong enough now to focus on the rest of our date?”

 

She blushes, tilting her head away from me to focus on the sea, “Yes.” She darts her eye back at me briefly, “I’m sorry about ruining your plans. I couldn’t think beyond needing your touch.”

 

“I understand that,” I grumble, attempting to adjust myself without her noticing.

 

Her eyes dart down then back up to me. She bites her lip before sending a message to me through our skin, “I still want to touch you, Jacob.”

 

Snapping my eyes closed, I try to fight the wave of excitement coursing through my body. “Maybe later, Ness,” I groan out.

 

“Will you-- make it until later?”

 

My cock throbs out a steady beat of _no no no no no no no no no no_ , but I put those thoughts aside. My focus is and always will be her, “To give you the date I planned, I’d fight your father. Ignoring this thing will be a cakewalk compared to that.”

 

She gives me a broad smile and I do my best to return it as I try not to listen to the throbbing between my legs that is screaming out for her touch.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Lalalalalalalala! If you are still functioning, don’t forget to hit that little review button. We did delete the previous Chapter 16, so if you reviewed that chapter and aren’t able to review now, feel free to send us a PM to share your thoughts if you would like.

 

Ness’ dress - in case you were curious.

[http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=24068793&catId=CLOTHES-DRESSES2&pushId=CLOTHES-DRESSES2&popId=CLOTHES&navCount=21&color=069&isProduct=true&fromCategoryPage=true&isSubcategory=true&subCategoryId=CLOTHES-DRESSES2&templateType=subCategory](http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=24068793&catId=CLOTHES-DRESSES2&pushId=CLOTHES-DRESSES2&popId=CLOTHES&navCount=21&color=069&isProduct=true&fromCategoryPage=true&isSubcategory=true&subCategoryId=CLOTHES-DRESSES2&templateType=subCategory)


	17. Electric Current

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not SM. Trust us.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Hope everyone in the US had a fab Labor Day. For our friends outside the US, hope you had a tolerable Monday! A big thank you to the amazing Morethanhuman for turning this around. Heart you bb! We won’t keep you waiting, hope you enjoy!

** Chapter 17 “Electric Current” **

****

_Come in closer oh come feel the love on the inside_

_Electric current in my veins_

_Lets me know I'm alive_

_I burn I breathe I blink I change_

 

_Wide wide wide wide open_

_And its a fine fine fine fine world_

_And this is my my life I'm hoping_

_Will be a fine fine fine fine world_

“Wide Open” - Sugarland

 

** NPOV **

****

-0-

 

As soon as Jacob agreed to touch me, my mind shut down and all I could do was feel his hands guide me to my orgasm. Every cell in my body is now pulsing as I slowly come back to reality.

 

Between his body surrounding me and the blanket underneath, I’m in a cocoon of warmth and love that I never want to leave. _Warm. Rich. Strong._ This cocoon is absolute perfection.

 

It feels like the bonfire has now moved from the beach to my body, but it’s so pleasant that all I can do is enjoy the heat. My skin tingles from the remnant flames of my orgasm. The bulk of the fire though is centered in my mouth, throat and stomach. This is so different from the burning of being thirsty; this is a burning of being satisfied, like my body finally has what it has needed all along.

 

The heat starts in my mouth, but I can feel it burning along my throat, down into my stomach and moving out into the rest of my body. There is power and strength in the heat that is now moving through my body.

 

Trying to understand this new sensation, my focus returns to my mouth; the source of this change in my body. This heat and power didn’t happen the last time Jacob touched me. _Why would him touching me through my panties make this burn start in my mouth?_

 

I taste Jacob on my tongue but then realize my whole mouth is filled with his taste. I remember sliding my lips along his neck, but not much more than that. _I must have licked him._ While that is a possibility, it doesn’t answer why his rich taste fills my mouth and stomach now.

 

Loosening my grip on his hair is hard to do, but I need a bit of space to figure out what has happened, what has changed my body so much. Just as I start to pull back from him I realize my mouth is locked on his throat. As soon as that hits me, other facts suddenly become very clear.

 

_My lips on his neck. My teeth in his skin. Drops of his blood slowly escaping into my mouth._

 

Needing to be sure I slowly slide my tongue along his neck. Sure enough, I can feel the slight dips in his skin where blood is now pooling.

 

 _I bit him! I drank his blood. I drank Jacob’s blood. How could I do that? I know better._ I was raised to never bite a human and here I’ve gone and bitten the most important person in my life.

 

In my horror I jerk my mouth from his neck, shouting, “Oh God! Jacob, are you ok?”

 

I hastily move my hand to cover my mouth. I can feel the remnants of his blood in my mouth and I don’t want to make this any worse by him possibly seeing it. It’s bad enough without him having to see what a horrible person I am.

 

“I’m fine! It’s ok, Ness.”

 

His words and his lips against my forehead are soft and reassuring, but I can’t believe them. _I’m a monster._

 

I’m on the verge of tears. _How can Jacob still love me after this?_ In a moment of letting my guard down I’ve ruined everything I’ve craved all my life. I have to apologize to him, hope he can forgive me.

 

My words tumble out as the panic that I’m on the verge of losing him takes over my body, “Jacob, I swear, I didn’t mean to! I don’t want to bite humans or drink their blood. It’s wrong! I shouldn’t have--.”

 

As he sits up, my terror hits a high point. _He’s going to leave._ Just as I begin to grasp for him, ready to beg for his forgiveness, he pulls me into his lap.

 

“Shhhh. Ness, it’s fine. I promise, I’m not mad.”

 

Fighting my natural urge to snuggle up against him, I pull back slightly, needing to explain. “But, Jacob-- I didn’t mean to do that! I swear. I just-- I was-- turned on. I didn’t even think.” The more I speak the more upset I get at myself. _How could I do that?_ The tears fall from my eyes as I finally make eye contact with the man I love. “I’m so sorry, Jacob.”

 

“Ness, you don’t need to apologize.” He wipes away my tears, then does the most shocking thing; he laughs. I’m confused as he leans forward, his nose moving against mine, “I’m not exactly human. And trust me, I enjoyed it just as much as you did.”

 

“What?”

 

His eyes are locked on mine. The fear and horror I expected to see are nowhere to be found. I see the bonfire reflected in his eyes; flames of desire, passion, and most surprisingly, love. His love for me shines through everything. As much as I’m still horrified at my own actions, I’m beginning to think maybe this wasn’t as bad as I first thought.

 

“Ness, I have plenty of blood. And I heal quickly. Anything you just took will be replaced by morning. It’s fine. I feel fine. Well, not fine. I’m horny as hell right now, but physically I’m fine.”

 

 _He’s fine._ I took his blood, but he says he feels fine. My mind is trying to catch up with the fact that Jacob didn’t mind me taking his blood.

 

“I didn’t hurt you?” I need to make sure. Now that I know what happened, I’m starting to become aware of just how much of his blood I took; definitely more than I should have.

 

“No. You did not hurt me. How do you feel?”

 

This surprises me. While Jacob has always been concerned about me, he’s the one we should be focusing on right now. I just drank from him, he’s the one that was bit by a monster. However, the look in his eyes tells me he’s just as worried about me as I am about him.

 

Unable to look at him and take full stock of my body, I turn my head away from Jacob. Closing my eyes, I scan my body. What I find is unexpected and exciting. Looking back over my shoulder at him, I can’t help but give a hint of a smile as I realize what his blood is doing to my body.

 

“I feel-- great. Honestly, I’ve never felt this good.”

 

“Really?” Jacob’s smile is growing as well.

 

The hope and excitement is growing in me as I twist back to face him, my hands clutching his bare arms, both to stabilize myself but also to show him how his blood is charging my body now. “I feel-- powerful and energized,” I whisper

 

As the thoughts flow through my hands to him, I give myself the chance to marvel at this change. “I’ve never felt like this before, Jacob. If feels-- amazing.”

 

“Better than animal blood?”

 

“Oh!” My first thought is a resounding, “YES,” but I give myself a moment to analyze first. Animal blood fills and recharges me, but has never been what I want. Human blood, from what I remember from having it as a child, is filling and satisfying. However, as an adult, I don’t crave human blood like I did as a child. Being part human and having so many friends and family members that are human, it isn’t appealing at all. Jacob’s blood is completely different though; electric, sparking power throughout my body, charging me and warming me from the inside out. Now that I’ve had a taste of him, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to go back to hunting animals.

 

“Not even comparable. The strength-- Jake, I-- Jake, I feel completely different. Animal blood never felt like this. Not even human blood feels like this. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strong and alive.”

 

“Does that mean you are strong enough now to focus on the rest of our date?”

 

Guilt crashes down on me. _I’ve ruined our first date._ Blushing, I look back at the ocean, regret filling my voice, “Yes.” Chancing a glance back at Jacob I whisper, “I’m sorry about ruining your plans. I couldn’t think beyond needing your touch.”

 

“I understand that.”

 

His voice is rough, grabbing my attention. Without thought, my eyes jerk down to his crotch just as his words from moments ago finally click in my mind. _Well, not fine. I’m horny as hell right now, but physically I’m fine._ His pants are tight and I can see the outline of his erection. _Oh. My._

 

Biting my lip, I force my eyes back up to his. That outline of his body’s reaction to me sparks my hunger for him again. My throat is suddenly very dry. Unable to make my lips move, I push my thought into his mind. “I still want to touch you, Jacob.”

 

Jacob’s whole body snaps to attention. His eyes are closed, but the heat coming off of him is intoxicating. As I watch him, a subtle shake moves up his spine. While this is similar to how his body looks before he phases, the blurring that I normally associate with phasing doesn’t happen. He is holding the wolf in, but something else is moving through his body -- something strong enough to shake his spine.

 

Finally he groans, slouching a bit as he answers me, “Maybe later, Ness.”

 

All I know about men is what I’ve learned from books and the couple of things the other imprints have shared with me so far. However, I know Jacob very well. The fight I can see on his face is so similar to when he’s trying not to phase, but so different that I know that isn’t what is happening. No, this is something else, something just as powerful that he is pushing back. The only issue is, I can see just as clearly on his face that he’s losing the battle.

 

_I’m horny as hell right now._

 

That is what he said earlier. The only answer is that he is fighting to control his desire. As much as I want to tell him to let go, there’s a reason why he’s battling so hard with himself right now. He wants to give me this date. However, I’m still worried about him, “Will you-- make it until later?”

 

He snarls for just a moment before I watch him lock his jaw and give me a tight smile, “To give you the date I planned, I’d go three rounds with Blondie with Edward as her tag partner. Ignoring this thing will be a cakewalk compared to that.”

 

My smile is broad, even though I’m still worried about him. Since I’m still sitting on his lap, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tight. “Is there anything I can do to help-- until later?”

 

As he groans, I’m suddenly aware that my nipples are still exposed and pressed tight against his bare chest.

 

“Yeah, that is a problem. We should probably get you re-dressed,” he chokes out.

 

Embarrassed, I lean back and start to turn away from him when he grabs my waist. Once he’s standing, he sets my feet back on the blanket. I again move to turn around when he tightens his grip, “Not so fast. I got to uncover you, I want to recover you.”

 

He lowers himself so he’s kneeling on the blanket, his face just below my bare breasts. His hands slide slowly along the outside of my thighs, not pausing as he moves under my dress. As soon as he reaches the edge of my panties, he gently adjusts the fabric around my hips and thighs, being careful not to touch between my legs. Of course, I don’t need him touching me _there_ to turn me on. This teasing of having his hands so close is enough to make my heart skip a beat.

 

His hands slide around to my butt and I can feel him give my cheeks a little squeeze. My knees are feeling very wobbly, so I reach for his hair, grasping tight to keep myself standing up. As my fingers clutch his thick strands, he leans into me. His face stops right where my thighs meet my body. He takes a deep breath then places a kiss against my dress, “I love how you smell, how you react, when I touch you.”

 

“Jacob,” I whimper. He’s supposed to be putting my clothes back on, but right now I want to tell him to take all of my clothes off of me.

 

“Another time, Tathut. Right now,” he leans back, giving me a happy smile, “I’m enjoying putting you back together after I made a mess earlier.”

 

“I wanted you to make a mess,” I whisper down to him.

 

His hands slide out from under my dress. I sigh, feeling empty without him touching me. I don’t realize I’ve closed my eyes until they jerk open when I feel his tongue slide across my nipples. Without meaning to, I pull harder against his head, urging him to continue.

 

“Not right now, Tathut. I just couldn’t cover you up without having one last taste. Did you know you taste like strawberries?” I can’t think but I manage to shake my head in the negative as he stands up. “You do. Sweet, ripe, and just a little tart.”

 

His lips press against the top of my head as I feel him pull me into his arms. He adjusts my dress just slightly before I feel him tug the zipper up. Just before the zipper reaches the top, he reaches into my top, cupping the edge of my breasts and pushing up slightly. His fingers move from my breasts and he finishes zipping me up.

 

Jacob leans back and examines his handy work. His head dips to my breasts and I feel him place a kiss on the top of each. “Perfectly ripe strawberry that swells at the top. I like seeing the edge of your breasts over the top of your dress.” His mouth moves against my ear, “Makes me want to bite right into you.”

 

My body tenses at his words, suddenly afraid he’s referencing me biting him earlier. I know he said he was fine with it, but I can’t help still worrying.

 

“Ness, what’s wrong?”

 

Worrying my bottom lip, I fight my fears and force myself to ask the question of him. Glancing up, I can tell he’s concerned, “Nothing, just-- I know you said you are fine and that you liked it, but--. Are you sure you are ok with me biting you before?”

 

His laugh is loud, “I am _more_ than ok with you biting me before. I’m also _more_ than ok with you biting me any time you want. I like it when you do bite me, and I _really_ like knowing part of me is in you, making you strong and powerful. I’m giving you strength just like you give me strength every day.”

 

“How do I give you strength?” I ask, tilting my head.

 

He pulls me tight against his chest. His heart thunders under my ear as he holds me close. His mouth is against my ear, whispering the sweetest words I’ve ever heard, “You give me purpose, a reason to live, and a reason to be the strongest man and wolf I can possibly be. I would do _anything_ for you, Ness. That includes fighting with everything I have to protect you. Being ready to strike anything that threatens you keeps me strong. Holding you in my arms recharges me and reminds me once again how important it is that I keep on being strong.”

 

The tears pool around the outside of my eyes before finally finding an escape route down his chest. Nothing I say will equate to what he just said. Instead, I say what is in my heart, “I love you, Jacob.”

 

“I love you too, Ness.” He relaxes his grip before his hand finds my chin. He tilts my head back and kisses away my tears. “I have absolutely no problem with you biting me or taking my blood. It will be my honor to share my strength with you.”

 

Nodding slowly, my smile grows as I watch his bloom across his face.

 

“Good, now that we agree on you sucking my blood,” he winks, making me choke out a laugh, “think you have any space left for food? Because I’m starving.”

 

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him I can’t eat since I just fed, when I feel a strange grumble in my stomach. When I have animal blood, it sits heavy in my stomach, filling me up and leaving me unable to eat anything. Jacob’s blood though is zooming through my veins, charging my muscles and energizing every cell in my body. His blood isn’t sitting heavy in my stomach, it is moving through my system. My stomach is suddenly very empty.

 

“I’m actually hungry too,” I whisper, gripping his arm and sharing with him this sensation in my body.

 

“Aw man! There go all those nice leftovers you always share with me! I’m going to starve now!” His laugh is loud and boisterous.

 

Shaking my head at him I can’t help grinning, “So what do we have to eat?”

 

“I don’t know, Rachel packed it. If it isn’t edible, we might have to call this date short and hit my dad’s house.”

 

“I’m sure Rachel wouldn’t give us something inedible,” I laugh. As he lowers himself back to the blanket, I’m struck by what he just said. _My dad’s house._ Not _his_ house. Not _home_. I’m once again reminded of Rachel giving him crap when we were at Billy’s house about his bedroom being empty. I don’t want to ruin tonight by bringing it up with him, so I push those thoughts to the back of my mind, but I’m still curious.

 

“Earth to Ness!” When I glance down at Jacob, he’s waving his arms and shouting. Once my focus returns he’s still relaxed and laughing, “Where did you go?”

 

“Nowhere,” I giggle as I tuck my dress under my legs and move to sit on the blanket. “Just hunger kicked in and it was such a foreign concept that I got lost in the thought.”

 

Just as I’m getting settled, Jacob slides over closer to me. He hooks a leg around me and pulls me close. Before I know it, I’m sitting in the circle of his legs, his feet crossed at my back, my eyes facing his. I don’t bother commenting as he reaches in the cooler and basket.

 

He pulls out a beer, some water, and a couple of different containers. He hands me a container that is filled with chicken and pasta that I recognize. These are the leftovers from my lunch at Lillah’s house. This is the food I cooked with Lillah’s help. I didn’t even think about what happened to the food after I left. Trust in Rachel to sneak it in to our date tonight.

 

He hands me the water and a fork just as he opens up a container for himself. Just as I’m about to tell him I made this food, he inhales and groans, “Oh! That smells so good!”

 

Remembering what Claire said earlier about the guys liking for us to cook for them, I bite my tongue, waiting to see his reaction when he tastes it.

 

I’m trying not to be obvious in my staring, but I watch closely as he grabs a fork and stabs at a few pieces of pasta and chicken. When the food crosses his lips, he sighs, closing his eye. The fork slides out of his mouth and I watch as he chews, seeming to take forever. He sighs and groans intermittently, both sounds make me nervous of his reaction.

 

Shaking his head, he finally opens his eyes and give me a smile, “Definitely not inedible. Wow! I’ll have to thank Rachel. That is the best food I think I’ve ever had. Who knew chicken and pasta could taste so good? Seriously, you have to try this!”

 

He stabs at the food with his fork and offers it to me. Wrapping my lips around the fork, he grins as he watches me slide the food from the fork and start chewing. “It’s good, right?”

 

“It is,” I agree, smiling at his excitement. “Um, Jake, Rachel didn’t make this.”

 

“Huh? What do you mean?” I’m shaking with laughter and excitement watching him stuff his face and groan over every bite.

 

Catching him in-between bites, I slide my hand along his cheek, my thumb brushing his lips as I show him how I spent my afternoon.

 

His face falls once I finish. Just as I start to feel worry creeping up my neck, he grabs me. His arms tug on me until my lips are flush against his. “You made this?”

 

Unable to speak, I can only nod. “Damn!” he groans before he presses his lips against me.

 

Just as I’m about to wrap my arms around him he leans back, “You really made this?”

 

“Yep!” I’m suddenly very proud of this accomplishment. The food I made with Lillah today is now feeding Jacob. My eagerness to learn to cook takes off; I need to learn how to feed my wolf, because seeing him enjoy my food makes me very happy.

 

“You are amazing,” he gives me a happy grin before taking a deep breath and sitting me back in his lap. He grabs his dish again and fills the fork. He offers me a bite, “What made you decide to do this?”

 

“Um,” I take the chance to chew to pull together my thoughts. As I finish and he takes a bite, I can’t help grinning in amazement over his reaction. I’ve never seen Jacob react like this to food. In the past he ate, and a lot, but now he seems to be savoring every bite. Claire was right. There is something very different about how Jacob enjoys this food that _I_ made.

 

Once he finishes his bite, he looks at me expectantly. In my excitement, I forgot to answer his question. “When I told my parents that you would be joining me in Seattle, Dad jumped to asking Esme to find you a house there.”

 

“Ok,” Jacob says, taking another bite. “Yeah, guess I do need a place to stay. Not ideal, but nice of him to think of me like that.”

 

“He wasn’t being nice and it is far from ideal,” I whisper, glancing up at him. “When Dad left the room to talk to Grandmama Esme, I asked Mom-- well, asked her to stop him from getting you a place.”

 

“Why did you do that?” he asks.

 

Tilting my chin up, I look him square in the eyes, “Because I don’t want to be separated from you. If you are going to be in Seattle, I want you there with me-- I want us to be in the same place.”

 

Jacob takes a deep breath, “Ok. I mean-- I want to be in the same place too, but I don’t know if I can be in the same house as your dad, Ness.”

 

“That’s just it, Jake, I won’t be in the same house as my parents. All along they planned on living somewhere else so that I could have the college experience away from my parents. Grandmama Esme found me a nice place near campus. Mom and Dad are still going to be close, a few miles away and closer to Granddaddy and the rest of the family.”

 

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” his grin is wide as he considers what I just told him.

 

“Not exactly,” I clarify. His face falls so I rush to explain, “I just mean I don’t want you to move in with me, I want us to live together, in Seattle. I know you are still working on being there, but when you can be in Seattle, it will be _our_ place. Not mine, not yours, and definitely not my parents.”

 

His grin is wide, “I like this plan. A lot. But what does it have to do with you cooking?”

 

My cheeks flame as I glance up at him, “I need to learn how to cook so I can feed you. I’ve never been big into food, and when I did eat, Mom cooked. I have no clue what I’m doing. Feeding you is a pretty big responsibility, so I asked Lillah to teach me some stuff.”

 

He laughs, “A big responsibility, huh? My stomach is liking this plan more and more.”

 

Laughing, I lean my head against his shoulder as he finishes his dinner, “I bet it does. Anyway, since Emily and the kids and Rachel were coming over for lunch today, Lillah suggested I start learning by cooking lunch for us. I knew I was making a lot of food, but she said this is how much she normally makes for her and Embry, so it was enough for all of us and the kids for lunch. I didn’t even realize there were leftovers until you opened up the containers.”

 

“Geez, how much does that guy eat?” Jacob chuckles as he hands me a bite of food.

 

Once I finish chewing I can’t help giggling, “About a much as the rest of you. Which is to say, a lot.”

 

He glances down at my dish, which is still untouched. Without question, I hand it to him. He grins but before he takes a bite, he offers the full fork to me. “You aren’t full yet, right?”

 

Surprisingly, I’m not. Normally the couple of bites he shared with me would have been enough, but now I find myself wanting more. Taking his offered bite, I’m surprised to see him grinning as I eat. “What?”

 

“Nothing, I just really like this. Sitting here, holding you in my arms as I feed you. It’s kind of perfect.”

 

“It really is. See, I told you this night would be a perfect first date, no matter what.” I grin before taking another bite. He sneaks in a bite while I chew.

 

“Uh huh. Would have been better if someone hadn’t been so damn horny earlier,” he winks when I gasp.

 

“I wasn’t--,” just as I’m about to tell him how wrong he is, I stop myself. “Oh, wow.” Blush fills my cheeks and I drop my head to his shoulder, “How embarrassing!”

 

“Hey!” He lifts his shoulder until my face is level with his, “Being horny isn’t embarrassing. It’s beautiful. I love that you are so eager for my touch. I want to give you more, I want to give you everything you want, we just have to be careful right now. Once things are settled with your dad and we have somewhere we can be alone-- you better believe I’m going to give you everything you’ve asked for so far and more.”

 

His words cause my entire body to shake in excitement. As much as I want what he just described right now, I understand what he means. Now still isn’t the right time.

 

“Besides, I’m pretty much horny all the time. You learn to deal with it,” this time his laugh is a little more strained.

 

Glancing down at his lap I notice that outline hasn’t changed shape this whole time. If anything, it seems to be a little higher up along his pants compared to earlier.

 

“What’s it like, Jacob?”

 

“What?” he asks, obviously confused.

 

“Being horny, what’s it like for you?”

 

“Oh.” He seems tongue-tied. Opening his mouth then closing it, looking away then back at me. “I don’t know. Distracting for sure. I swear my co-- um-- penis, has a mind of it’s own.”

 

As slowly as I can, I adjust my leg to get closer to that bulge in his pants, “Jake, were you going to call it something else?”

 

Apparently I wasn’t slow enough. Jacob’s hand blocks my path just as he places his lips against my ear, “Cock. Is that what you were looking for, Ness?”

 

I don’t know if he means the word or what my leg was searching out, but both are correct. Taking a deep breath, I nod my head, hoping he’ll let my leg continue to inch closer.

 

“Not yet, Ness. We still have more date left.” Just as I’m about to whine in complaint he nips at my ear, “But I promise before this night is over, you will understand what it’s like when I’m horny. How hard I get, and how much I need your touch to ease me. If you are very good, I might even let you feel my cock.”

 

Twisting my head, my eyes find his easily. He’s smiling, but there is an edge of heat in that smile. “You’d like that, huh?”

 

Gulping, I nod, “Yes. I’d really like that, Jake.”

 

“How would you feel if my fingers were sliding over your pussy while you touched my cock?”

 

His words are so foreign to my ear, but I know what he means and my body is eager for that to happen. “I want that.”

 

“Say it then.”

 

It feels like an out of body experience as I whisper the words to Jacob that he asked for, but as weird as it is to speak these words, my body is aching for the touch he described.

 

“Jake, I want your fingers sliding over my pussy while I touch your cock.”

 

His growl comes from deep in his chest. Just as my body is reacting to the noise, I feel his teeth sink into my neck. He’s sucking my skin deep into his mouth as I writhe on his lap. Jacob’s teeth haven’t broken my skin, but the pressure of his lips is driving me crazy.

 

Just as quickly as he started, he stops. Taking deep breaths, I can see he’s trying to control himself. After a few minutes he turns to me, “How about a dance?”

 

“Huh?” I’m lost by the sudden change in conversation.

 

“Definitely, we need to dance. Come on.” He lifts me up to standing but doesn’t move to stand. Instead he picks up one of my feet and removes my shoe. He does the same with the other foot. Once my feet are bare, he removes his own. Before I can even follow what is going on he picks me up in his arms as soon as he stands up.

 

Slowly, he walks down the beach to the very edge of where the ocean has recently brought a wave in. The sand is cold when he finally sets me down, but he quickly pulls me tight and I don’t notice the chill along my feet.

 

He starts swaying, holding me against him. I’m just about to ask him what he is moving us along to when he starts singing softly. I’m surprised to hear how beautiful his voice is; I’ve never heard him sing before now. He is a deep baritone, his voice smooth and he sings a song I listen to quite often. Except the words the words he’s singing are slightly different from the song I remember

 

_Oh, your eyes, your eyes_

_Make the stars look like they’re not shinin’_

_Your hair, your hair_

_Falls perfectly without you trying_

_You’re so beautiful_

_And I tell you everyday_

 

My heart swells with love for him. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as perfect as he is for me. As much as I want to tell him how much I love him right now, I remain quiet, listening to his voice.

 

When he reaches the last chorus of the song, I can’t hold myself back any longer. I join in, my soprano voice harmonizing with him.

 

_When I see your face_

_There's not a thing that I would change_

_'Cause you're amazing_

_Just the way you are_

_And when you smile_

_The whole world stops and stares for a while_

_'Cause you're amazing_

_Just the way you are_

 

“What do you think you are doing, hijacking my song?” His laugh is deep and super sexy.

 

Being here in his arms, my head resting against his chest, feels amazing. As much as my body still feels like it is on fire, both from his blood racing through my body and our conversation just now, the simplicity of this moment is soothing. Not wanting to disturb the perfection of this moment, instead of leaning back to speak, I focus my response out through my skin. “Not hijacking, agreeing.”

 

“So you agree that you’re amazing,” Jacob whispers softly against the top of my head.

 

He moves slowly back and forth in the sand. I feel the edge of the surf touch my toes and I feel a giggle surface. “I agree you’re amazing,” I push the thought out to him, still not wanting to move my head from the comfortable resting spot against his chest.

 

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?” he asks as his hands twist in my hair.

 

As he tugs my head back just slightly I sigh, both sad to leave the warmth of his chest and excited for what is still to come with this night.

 

Locking my eyes with his, I grin, “Not in the past few minutes at least.”

 

“I love you,” he whispers just before his lips find mine. This kiss is gentle, no pressure or hurry, just Jacob softly sharing his love through this simple connection.

 

When he releases my lips, he gently presses my head back to it’s resting spot against his chest. He hums a few more songs, occasionally singing the choruses. If I know the song I’ll join in, harmonizing the best I can with him.

 

Before I know it, his phone is buzzing. My first thought is worry that something has come up and we will have to cut the evening short. He keeps one arm around me but I feel him reach in his pocket with the other.

 

He sighs softly, which makes my heart drop. I’m just about to ask what is wrong when he whispers, “That was my alarm for us. We have an hour left before we need to leave to make your curfew.”

 

“Already?” I pout.

 

His thumb glides along my chin as he grins at me, “Time flies when you are having fun.”

 

“Do we still have time for-- um--,” I stumble over my words. As easy as it was to say just a short while ago, outside of that moment, forming those foreign words is harder than I thought.

 

“Don’t worry, I have a plan. But until then, how about I make up for what you missed during the last bonfire?”

 

I want to ask for details, but I’m learning Jacob likes to plan and surprise me. Taking a deep breath, I let a thrill of excitement run through me knowing he’s still on board with me getting to touch him-- at least later. Pulling myself together, I tilt my head back at him. “Missed? I didn’t miss anything.”

 

“You sure? Because it seemed like you weren’t able to pay attention to the legends Dad was telling between being upset over me being an idiot and then me getting upset with Seth.”

 

“Oh, that.” My cheeks flame red with lingering embarrassment over that night.

 

“What?” Jacob asks, clearly noticing the change in my face.

 

“Nothing,” I start but stop myself. Being so upset with Jacob over his joke about Grandpa making out with Sue seems so silly now. However, at the time, I couldn’t handle him teasing about kissing when he was so close and yet so far away. “I’m sorry if I provoked you with that comment about making out. I was hurt--.”

 

Jacob’s hands engulf my face, “Don’t ever apologize for pushing back on me. I was being a jerk. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. All I wanted to do was show you what I consider making out, but I couldn’t. I was angry and feeling trapped. It was a bad joke at a really bad time. Believe me, you did nothing wrong.”

 

I do my best to nod in understanding, but his hands hold my head in place. He must have received the message somehow though because he gives me a huge grin. “What do you say we spend the last hour of this date with me telling you the legends that you missed, and making up for lost make out time?”

 

“Works for me,” I giggle.

 

His hands fall away from my face but before I can move, he’s scooping me up in his arms again. Circling my arms around his neck, I lean forward to kiss the corner of his mouth as he walks us back to the blanket, “By the way, I approve of what you call making out. You are far from being as uptight as my father.”

 

“That’s good to know,” he chuckles, then frowns. “Wait, does that mean you still think I’m uptight?”

 

Nipping at his ear, I let my giggle escape before whispering softly, “Jacob, you have me in your arms. You told me earlier you are horny. I want to touch you. Instead, we are going to spend our last hour of this date making out. Don’t get me wrong, I love making out with you, but, you are a little uptight when it comes to-- certain stuff.”

 

He drops to the ground, laughing as he goes, “That’s fair I guess. But trust me, I’m not uptight because I want to be. I’m uptight because I love you too much to take advantage of you. As much as I want you, and trust me, _I want you_ , I want to cherish our time together, and enjoy learning about each other. We have literally an eternity to be together, but we will never have these first moments again. I want each one to be special, memorable. You deserve that.”

 

Unable to stop the tears of joy from falling, I crush my body against his, my lips opening up to him as soon as they find his lips.

 

We manage a few gasping breaths, but barely part from one another until his phone goes off again, signaling the end of our first date. He slowly pulls back from me, but still places soft kisses all over my face. “I didn’t get to tell you any legends.”

 

“That’s ok,” I whisper.

 

“Why’s that?” he asks, twisting his head.

 

Shrugging I feel a smile bloom across my face, “I know most of the stories. Besides, I think we created our own legend tonight. The legend of the first date between the wolf and the vampire.”

 

Jacob’s laugh is gruff and happy as he helps me up. “More like the legend of the wolf and his perfect imprint, who just happened to be _half_ -vampire.”

 

“You really don’t see me as a vampire,” I ask, suddenly very curious.

 

He’s quiet as he quickly packs up everything and puts out the fire. As he walks me to the car, Jacob wraps his free arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his chest. He still hasn’t put his shirt back on, so snuggling up returns me to that warm cocoon.

 

“You are Ness, my imprint. I don’t care about the technicalities, all I see when I look at you is the woman I love with every cell in my body. I would do anything for you.” He kisses my forehead as he steps away to load the car.

 

Once we are settled in the car I can’t help bringing up the one worry that still persists after tonight, “I get that, but you can’t deny it’s a little weird that your imprint bites you and takes your blood.”

 

“Not really. I’ve been linked to the other guys long enough to know their girls can get pretty-- aggressive from time-to-time,” he grins at me as he starts the car. Before he backs out, he leans over and brushes his lips across mine, “I have no problem letting you have my blood to survive. In fact, I’d rather you take my blood. That way you don’t have to hunt any longer. Plus, it’s hot knowing you have part of me flowing through your veins. Are you still feeling ok after--?”

 

“Oh, definitely! I feel better than I’ve ever felt after-- um, feeding. That’s really weird though, right?”

 

Jacob shrugs, “Make you a deal, you feed me with more of that amazing cooking and you are welcome to feed from me any time you need.”

 

I’m shocked by the ease of this conversation, how easily Jacob has not only come to terms with me biting him, but embraced it and is now _encouraging_ it. However, I can’t focus on that. Instead, I force myself to push aside all doubts and enjoy the fact that he’s ok with it. _Jacob is ok with me feeding from him._

 

“Ok, but you also have to share some of that food with me. If tonight is any indication, I’ll need to eat at least a little bit of food.”

 

He wiggles his eyebrows, “Works for me. Seal the deal with a kiss?”

 

His lips are on mine in the space of a heartbeat. No questions asked, our deal is now sealed. No more hunting for me.

 

Once again, Jacob has managed to blow my mind and make me love him even more. I’m trying to push my thoughts out to him when he leans back. “Time to get you home. Don’t want to miss curfew.”

 

As much as I want to whine, he gives me a wink and I can’t help smiling. He puts the car in gear and I sigh. Our first date is now over. However, I can’t complain, as always with Jacob, the night was perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing. This legend will be a pretty great one to share with future generations.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** A little gchat humor for you.

 

NKR: "If you are very good, I might even let you feel my cock.” < dies >

WH: Lalalalalalala. Don't know what you are talking about...

 

See - even we swoon over these two! Jake says if you are very good and click the review button, he might let Ness do more than just touch...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	18. Hidden from View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not SM and have no desire to be - well, other than having her money. Think of all the makeup we could buy then. *dreams*

** Chapter 18 “Hidden From View” **

 

 

_Fade into me, fade into you_

_The two of us melting together_

_Until we become something new_

_And we can escape_

_And watch the world chasing to find us_

_Both of us hidden from view_

_If you fade into me_

_Fade into me_

“Fade Into Me” - David Cook

 

** JPOV **

 

-0-

 

Looking around, I check to make sure everything is perfect. Leaving Ness at the door of the cottage was not the easiest thing for me to do, but I needed Charlie to see her come home and get settled in for the night for my plan to work. She was definitely confused when I told her to get ready for bed, but a quick whisper in her ear and she was blushing as she giggled. That chaste goodnight kiss on the cheek while Charlie watched is definitely not how I plan to end this evening with her.

 

As much as I am excited for what is ahead, my heart is still screaming in protest. While my setup will work and I know she will be comfortable tonight, I’d much rather take her _home_ , to our place. Unfortunately, the house isn’t ready for her yet; I still have a lot of work to do. Realistically though, the problem isn’t the house, but me. Even if the house was perfect and ready for her, I can’t have her there before she is ready to make it her home; _our_ home. Once she steps foot in the house, I can’t ever go back to staying there alone again. Until the time comes when we can be together with no conditions, this makeshift home will have to do.

 

After taking one last look around at my preparations, I turn to face the cottage. While small in the distance, I can see her bedroom light is now off. That is her signal for me that she is ready and Charlie is asleep.

 

I want to run, but I force myself to move through the woods as quietly as possible. When I reach her window, I gently tap against the glass with my knuckles. A few seconds later, the window slides open quietly and she peeks her head out. Unable to resist, I kiss her softly before she can speak. When I finally release her lips she sighs happily. I’m about to move back so she can slip out, but she grabs my face before I can do so.

 

“Do I need to bring anything?” she whispers softly in my mind.

 

“I don’t think so-- oh, pillows?”

 

She tilts her head in confusion. Instead of answering I give her a grin and wiggle my eyebrows. As I expected, she shakes her head, but she’s smiling as she turns away from the window. A second later, there are two pillows being handed to me. In the next second, Ness climbs out and quietly eases the window shut.

 

“You sure this is going to work?” she asks, obviously nervous.

 

Smiling, I take her hand, “He’s asleep, right?” She nods and my smile grows wider, “Then we are in the clear. Charlie leaves at five in the morning to go back to his place to get ready. He doesn’t check on you before he leaves, my guess is because he doesn’t want to wake you up.“

 

“Just because he didn’t check yesterday doesn’t mean he won’t today.” She is still nervous about sneaking out. I get it, but there is nothing to worry about. It’s my job to reassure her of that.

 

“This isn’t based on just yesterday. This is Charlie’s pattern when he stays here. All those times Edward and Bella went on long hunting trips and Charlie would watch you?” Ness nods slowly, remembering. “Bella asked me to be here by four to fill in the gap between when Charlie would leave and they would get back. Bella told Charlie is was ok to leave for work because there would be someone guarding you. As far as I know, she never told Charlie it was me.”

 

“Why didn’t she just have you watch me?”

 

Lifting my eyebrow, I look down at her with a smirk. She closes her eyes and sighs, “Right, Dad. No way would he agree to let you watch me alone. Especially lately.” Tilting her head back up at me, she still looks concerned, “Didn’t Dad ever ask who was watching me after Charlie left?”

 

Taking her hand, I start moving us back into the woods and I whisper back to her, “Bella never told Edward that Charlie was leaving you unattended. As far as he knows, Charlie stuck around until you were up and ready to go.”

 

“Really?” she asks, clearly shocked by this news.

 

“Your mom has been in our corner for a while, Ness.” Rubbing my thumb over her hand, I share as much as I know, “She wasn’t thrilled when she found out about me imprinting on you, but after Edward made his deal with me, she’s been working around Edward as much as possible to help me get time with you. She has always imposed restrictions as well, wanting you to have as normal a life as possible, but she also knew what I was going through.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“You ok?” I ask, feeling her heart rate shift and her breathing hitch.

 

She nods but I stop us, pulling her closer to me. When my hand cups her face, I feel moisture on her cheeks, “Ness?”

 

Instead of answering me, I see images of Bella float through my mind. Flashes of conversations between Bella and Ness follow. From what I can tell, she’s remembering all the times Bella has gone out of her way to help Ness, and me, be together.

 

“She is pretty amazing,” I whisper as her thoughts slow down.

 

“Yes. She really is. I just never realized how much she does for me. Dad is so-- old fashioned. Mom and I talk about it all the time, but I never realized how hard she works to let me live my life; to appease him but also give me freedom.”

 

“Why do you think I’ve kept her as my friend all this time? Your father can hate me all he wants, but as long as I’m nice to Bella, I have a solid chance to be with you.”

 

When her eyes reach mine, I can’t help chuckling, “What? It’s true. Your dad may think he sets the rules, but Bella is really in control. She would do anything for you.”

 

“I’m very lucky.” She snuggles closer to me. When I feel a shiver move through her body, I get us moving again.

 

When we reach the clearing, she gasps. “Jake, you did all this for me?”

 

“For us,” I whisper.

 

As she steps away from me toward the tent I’ve set up, I finally get a chance to see what she is wearing; short shorts and a tank top. _No wonder she was cold._

 

When she turns back to me, there is a smile on her face but my eyes are drawn lower. With the cold, the thin tank top and her lack of a bra, her nipples are standing out begging for my attention. Before I can even think about what I’m doing, I feel myself fall to my knees in front of her, my mouth covering her breast through her tank top while my hand covers the other

 

Her moan is loud and fills the clearing. As my tongue teases her nipple, I’m so glad I made the decision to set us up out here. I don’t like being quiet, and if we were still in the cottage we would have to be. No way Charlie would have slept through the sounds coming from her mouth right now.

 

“Jake,” she moans, grasping my hair, “Jake-- can’t-- stand.”

 

Releasing her flesh from my mouth, I easily stand and pick her up, just as her knees start to give out. Moving quickly, I duck into the tent and place her gently on the waiting sleeping bag. Just as I’m about to meet her and continue my exploration, I remember the pillows I had in my hand before.

 

“Shit, hold on.”

 

She’s biting her lip and shifting her thighs back and forth. Growling, I force myself to run out of the tent. Grabbing the discarded pillows, I’m back in the tent faster than most people can blink. While it probably only took a few seconds, that small break felt like an eternity.

 

Thankfully, she hasn’t moved from where I placed her. However, instead of biting her lip, she is now smiling up at me.

 

“An air mattress and sleeping bags?” She closes her eyes and I can see the blush moving up her throat even in the dark tent.

 

“I want you to be comfortable. I plan on having you fall asleep and wake up in my arms.”

 

“But-- we can still-- I can still--,” she clears her throat, takes a deep breath then her eyes lock with mine, “I can still touch your-- cock?”

 

Tossing the pillows aside, I dive on to the air mattress, pulling her against me as I roll over on my back. When I stop, her eyes, full of excitement and happiness, find mine. “I love you,” I whisper, and she smiles. What I’m about to say opens a very dangerous door, but I need her. “Ness, you can touch me-- wherever you want.”

 

“Really?” Her eyes dart back and forth to mine, “Are you sure?”

 

“I’m sure that I need you, need to feel your touch. You have all night to explore-- take your time, I promise, I won’t rush you.”

 

She takes a deep breath, hesitating for just a second before looking me in the eyes, “I want-- what if I want to take off your clothes?”

 

Grinding my teeth, I try to hold back my excitement at her words. “That’s fine, Ness.” She replays in my mind our original agreement about her stopping if any clothes below the waist are removed. “As much as I know this isn’t a good idea, and that we are pushing our luck and my ability to stop us, I need you. I need your touch. Just-- don’t be offended if I run out of here. If things go too far, I may have to get out to stop us.”

 

“Ok, I understand, Jacob.” She leans back, lifting from my chest. Before I dropped her off at the cottage earlier, I put my shirt back on so Charlie wouldn’t get suspicious. In the process of getting everything setup, I haven’t had the chance to take it back off. As her delicate fingers slowly undo the first couple of buttons, I’m glad I didn’t take it off before now. Watching her take my clothes off is almost as seductive as watching her remove her clothes. _Almost._

 

Once she has opened my shirt, she pushes one side away and leans her face forward. I feel her lips slide gently over my chest, just above my heart. “I love you, Jacob.” Her eyes find mine and I’m struck by how peaceful she looks, “I promise to stop if it gets to be too much. I know you are protecting me, and I love you for that. As much as I want-- everything, I know we need to take it slow, at least for a little longer.”

 

“Thirty-one days,” I choke out.

 

She tilts her head, looks away for just a second then grins, “Until my birthday.”

 

“Yes. On your birthday, no matter what, you and I will be together. My deal with Edward wasn’t just that your birthday was when I could tell you. Your dad agreed that your birthday was when _you_ could decide what you wanted.”

 

“I want you.” There is no hesitation in her voice.

 

“You have me,” I grin back at her.

 

“No, Jacob, I don’t need to wait until my birthday, I know what I want _now_. I want to be with you always.”

 

Threading my fingers through her hair I can’t help the pride that puffs my chest out, “I hear you, Tathut, but as much as it pains me to say this, we need to respect your father. Once your birthday is here, we can tell him. Until then,” I groan, “no matter how much I want you, we-- we have to respect that he doesn’t accept your decision until your birthday. What we’ve been doing, and what we discussed earlier, we can keep progressing, but we can’t cross the line to sex.”

 

She sighs, dropping her chin to my chest, “Ok, so thirty-one days. We can make it.”

 

“Yes, we can. Plus there are a lot of things we can do until then.”

 

“Like what?” she asks, a smile spreading across her face.

 

“Well, while I didn’t approve of Embry’s methods, he managed to keep Lillah-- uh, satisfied-- without sex, at least until he told her.”

 

“What? How did you know about that?” she gasps.

 

“Because Embry is a blabber mouth. He use to be the best about keeping his thoughts to himself, but after he met Lillah, he lost that ability. Dude still can’t keep his mind quiet. I’m not the only one with a countdown going on.”

 

“Oh, right. Lillah mentioned he’s having a hard time dealing with no sex after the baby.”

 

I’m so surprised by this response, I lift up, almost knocking her off my chest. “What? And what do you mean by how did I know about ‘that’? Did you know already?”

 

“Lillah and I were just-- talking, and she mentioned that Embry didn’t-- make love-- with her until he told her about imprinting; and that he isn’t dealing well with no sex right now.”

 

Narrowing my eyes, I can help being suspicious, “What all do you ladies talk about when we aren’t around?”

 

She giggles, tucking her head against my chest, “I don’t know, mostly about you guys. Apparently you are all a bit, how did Emily put it, pig-headed.”

 

“I’m not pig-headed.” Before she can start laughing I have to correct myself, “Ok, I guess I can be stubborn, but I’m not as bad as the others.”

 

She lifts her eyebrows and gives me a knowing grin, “Fine, we are all stubborn asses when we want to be.”

 

“I love your stubborn ass, though.” She places a kiss against my heart again before moving up my chest. Her lips continue moving up, over my neck, as I lower back down to the air mattress. By the time she reaches my lips, she’s laying completely on top of me.

 

The longer we kiss, the more she squirms on top of me. I can feel her nipples against my chest as her hips move seductively against my abdomen. Needing to keep her focused, I slide one hand from her hair, down her side to her upper thigh. Reaching over, I easily slide my hand along her skin, under her shorts. It’s only when my hand covers her bare ass cheek that I realize something isn’t right.

 

Jerking my head back from her mouth, I gasp out, “Ness, where are your-- fucking hell woman-- why don’t you have any-- what are you doing without panties on?”

 

When her eyes meet mine, there is a look of utter shock on her face. “What?”

 

“You had panties on earlier. Why’d you take them off?” I’m gasping for breath, both from my shock and the small war I’m fighting between my hand and my brain.

 

“I don’t like to sleep with panties on. They get-- bunched up.”

 

Such a simple answer. I can’t say anything, I prefer to sleep in the nude, but the surprise of finding out she only has on a pair of shorts and a very thin tank top has killed my brain.

 

“What? You never sleep with those on?” My voice is louder than I planned and even catches me off guard.

 

She doesn’t seem phased though, “Jacob, what’s wrong? Why does that matter?”

 

“It matters because, shit, I’ve slept beside you a lot. I’ve held you in my arms and you-- no fucking panties? I really didn’t need to know that.”

 

She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t yell, or argue back, or even cry. No, Ness just sits there, her lips over mine, waiting for me to get past this. I half expect her to roll her eyes at how stupid I’m being. Hell, I want to roll my eyes at myself.

 

As I take a few deep breaths and start to calm down, she lowers her mouth over to my ear. “Jacob, what do you normally wear when you sleep?”

 

“Nothing,” I say, automatically.

 

She presses her cheek against mine, her tongue sliding over my ear as flashes from her reach my mind. _Me, in my tiny bed from my childhood, a thin sheet covering my body as I toss and turn, my erection very obvious under the sheet._

 

“Yeah,” I groan, “something like that.”

 

This time, instead of a flash, I hear her voice in my mind, “I’d like to wear nothing, eventually. Feel your warm skin against mine as we sleep.”

 

Simultaneously, we both groan out, “Thirty-one days.”

 

She pulls back from my ear, giggling, “Until then, are you ok for me to continue?”

 

“Just one more thing,” I whisper, unable to control myself after this most recent revelation. Pulling her face back to mine, I inch my free hand over her butt and forward. When my middle finger slides between her lower lips she arches up and away from my mouth.

 

“Oh! Jacob!”

 

I move slowly, taking my time. My finger is covered in her arousal and easily slides back and forth. As soon as I find her waiting clit, I press my fingertip hard against it and make small swirling patterns.

 

She is panting above me, barely holding herself together. A few more swipes back and forward to her clit and she is collapsing on my chest. Her mouth moves over my skin, screaming my name as her hips reach back against my finger, pushing herself down on my digit as she reaches her climax.

 

Her skin against mine shares every part of her orgasm; what she feels, thinks, and how her body reacts to it all. I’m still turned on from earlier and watching her release brings me very close to my own.

 

My first instinct is to just reach down in my pants, move my hand over myself and come quickly. However, I promised her earlier she could touch me. _No time like the present to make that happen._

 

Using my free hand, I grab her hand and slide it down my chest while she is still slightly hazy. I leave it resting on my skin above my jeans while I unbutton myself. Once I’m able to access my throbbing cock easily, I return to her hand.

 

“Ness,” I whisper softly, “I really need to come.”

 

I feel her head move up and down as she softly whispers in my mind, “Ok.”

 

“Do you want to help me?”

 

This gets her attention. Her head jerks up. Her eyes are wide and filled with excitement as she starts to grin. “Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

Without another word, and before I can talk myself out of it, I lower her hand until her fingertips find my tip. My hips jerk forward on their own, her fingers sliding lower. I’m grinding my teeth at just this simple touch, my body screaming for release.

 

“What--,” she is panting above me and I can feel every reaction her body is having, including the fresh surge of arousal. “How do I?”

 

Taking her hand in mine, I help her to get a grip then slowly slide her hand down my length.

 

“Oh-- Jake.”

 

“You ok, Tathut?” I ask, worried this is too much.

 

She takes in a shaky breath and I see her nod. She again speaks in my mind, “There is just-- um-- a lot.”

 

“This is too much right now. Ness, I’m sorry,” I say, starting to remove her hand.

 

“No, Jacob, I’m fine,” her grip tightens in an effort to stop me from moving her hand.

 

“Fuuuuuck,” I groan out, barely keeping myself from exploding.

 

I can feel her starting to panic above me. “I’m fine,” I gasp out. On my next breath I manage one more word, “More.”

 

It takes just a second for her to realize what I mean. In my next gasping breath, I feel her hand loosen it’s grip around my shaft and again tighten. My hips push up, sliding her hand lower down my cock.

 

Returning my hand to hers, I guide her along, increasing her hand’s pressure as she slides it up and down. At the same time, I begin moving my finger along her lips again. I only manage a few more strokes before I feel myself losing my ability to hold back any longer.

 

I manage to jerk both of our hands up over my head before I explode. As my body starts to jerk in release, my fingertip slides into her. She freezes for just a second then moans deep in her chest. Her hips twist, swirling the edge of my finger around her opening. Just as I’m starting to come down, she is once again finding her climax. Even though my finger is barely in her, I can feel her walls tightening even around just my single finger.

 

_I’m going to need the next thirty-one days to prepare myself to make love to her._

 

-0-

 

“That’s great, Mom. I’m so glad you and Dad are having a good time.” Ness pauses, listening to what Bella says to her in return. “Yep, Jake is just taking me to dance now.”

 

She draws small circles over my skin with her free hand while she continues to listen to Bella. I’m driving down the road, headed for Seattle so Ness can attend her weekly dance class. I can hear Bella speaking, but I’m not paying attention to what she is saying, my focus on the road ahead and the feeling of Ness touching me.

 

“Ok, we’ll see you next week.” She pauses. A moment later I feel a sudden rush of heat coming off of her skin. Twisting my head away from the road for a second, I see her entire face is flushed. “Mom! Ok, I promise, but you really don’t have to worry about that.”

 

She gives me an uncomfortable smile just as I force my eyes to return to where I’m pointing the car. With my eyes facing forward, I do my best to pay attention to what Bella is actually saying.

 

“Ok baby, I just want you safe. You really shouldn’t do anything until Carlisle gives you the all-clear on the pills, but--. Oh, I have to go, your father is back. I love you.”

 

“Love you too, Mom. Give Dad my love.”

 

Ness ends the call and sinks back in her seat.

 

“That bad?”

 

She shakes her head then whispers, “She was worried about us-- not being careful.”

 

“Careful?”

 

Sighing, she leans over and rests her head against my shoulder, “Sex. She was worried we weren’t using protection, especially since Granddaddy gave me the pills. She wanted to remind me that we don’t know if those are working and that we shouldn’t do anything without protection until we know how the pills will work.”

 

“What makes her think we are having sex?” Since our date on Monday, Ness and I have camped out in our little tent each night. While we have done quite a lot with one another over the last few days, we both know the boundaries. It’s been difficult, stopping myself, but it has also been amazing spending each night learning her body. She’s ticklish, especially just above her hips. She melts in my arms when I nibble her neck. She is fascinated by my cock, spending more time than I thought I could handle just examining it. Last night she brought her sketchbook out to the tent and had me sit still for way too long while she drew me. At least I had something beautiful to look at, since I conned her into taking off her top while she drew. Once she finished, I spent most of the night worshipping her breasts.

 

Her soft giggle pulls me out of my thoughts just as she starts to share part of the phone conversation I didn’t hear.

 

_“Ness, I know what it is like to be in love with someone, to want them with every fiber of your being. I also know waiting to tell you was difficult on Jacob. You two have a lot to catch up on, and with your father and I away, it’s a great opportunity to do so. Remember, those pills Carlisle gave you may not work just yet. Just promise me you won’t have sex without protection.”_

 

“Ok, glad she doesn’t beat around the bush.”

 

Ness giggles and I feel her start to relax again. “If you need to nap, feel free. We are still about an hour away.”

 

“Ok.” She sighs, “One more week of them being gone. I miss them, but how am I supposed to go back to only ‘occasionally’ being able to fall asleep in your arms?”

 

Leaning over, I slide my lips over her hair, inhaling her sweet scent, “I don’t know, Tathut. It definitely won’t be easy for either of us. Maybe Bella can work her magic on Edward over the next week. Give us ‘sleeping’ privileges when they get back.”

 

“Fingers crossed,” she mumbles sleepily.

 

My phone buzzes in my pocket a short time later. Not wanting to disturb Ness, I do my best to gently ease it out of my jeans. Once it is free, I see it is a text message from Carlisle. I slow the car down and ease off the road.

 

_Bella mentioned you are driving Ness into town for dance. If you are available, please stop by the house to discuss the results of your exam and application. Thank you, Carlisle._

 

I type a quick response and hit send as I get the car moving again.

 

_No problem, Doc, be there shortly. ~J_

 

-0-

 

Ness gives me one final wave before walking into the dance studio. I keep my eyes on her as a blonde girl even shorter than Ness bounces over to her, wraps her arm in Ness’ and practically drags her away from the door. Ness must know her, unless that girl is a vampire, but I doubt that.

 

I thought spending so much time together would make our time apart easier, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Even though it is just a few hours until lunch, knowing I won’t be able to see her physically hurts. However, I am eager to go talk to Carlisle.

 

The paperwork Edward mentioned last week was waiting at Dad’s house when I stopped by. He didn’t ask any questions, but I could tell he was curious. However, I didn’t give up any information, not wanting to curse myself before I know for sure if this whole plan is possible. After filling everything out, I sent it back to Carlisle the next day. I’m surprised he has the test results already for my GED, since I just sent it in on Monday. I’m nervous that means I failed. I was never a great student; I could hold my own, but I preferred studying the inner workings of a car engine over the inner workings of a frog.

 

Pulling up to the house, my old beat up Rabbit just doesn’t seem to fit with the statuesque house in front of me. Then again, my favorite raggedy jeans and t-shirt don’t fit in either. Really, nothing about me matches this house, other than my love of the granddaughter of the owner. However, as much as this house is Carlisle’s style, I’ve never felt unwelcomed here, at least by Carlisle.

 

“Don’t you dare walk in here looking all proud! What the hell have you been doing with my niece all week?”

 

_Blondie, on the other hand, is still the same bitch she’s always been._

 

“Good to see you too, Blondie. Doc around? He asked me to stop by.”

 

Before I can walk in the front door, she blocks my way. “Not before you explain yourself to me. I tried calling Ness last night. Multiple times throughout the night. She never answered.”

 

“Ever think she was just sleeping? Remember, she actually does sleep,” I know I’m pushing my luck with my DUH tone of voice, but really, it’s feasible that Ness would sleep through Rosalie’s phone calls. Of course, that isn’t what happened. Ness just ignored the calls when she saw Rosalie’s name show up on the screen. She didn’t want to deal with Rosalie potentially asking to talk to Charlie or any other drama. I didn’t argue, or course.

 

She narrows her eyes at me, “You are lying.”

 

“Nope. Not lying. Doc will back me up on this one.”

 

I’m thankful when I see Carlisle step up behind Rosalie and rest his hand on her shoulder. He gently eases her back away from the door.

 

“Jacob, thank you so much for making time to stop by and talk with me. And Rosalie, Jacob is not lying. Though if you’ve forgotten that Renesmee does sleep, perhaps I should run some tests on you. I’m concerned your memory might be going.”

 

“Probably from all that hair dye she uses,” I snigger under my breath.

 

Rosalie growls low in her throat and I can tell she is just about to strike. I sink low, prepared to defend myself when I feel a sudden calm come over me.

 

“Thank you, Jasper,” Carlisle whispers. “Now, Jacob, if you’ll just follow me.”

 

With Jasper manipulating our emotions, I’m able to walk past Rosalie without her attacking. Her eyes are still narrowed at me, but that is the only sign of aggression still. Carlisle leads me into his office and closes the door behind me. He motions to a pair of chairs in the middle of the room and I drop down into the nearest one.

 

“So, be honest, Doc. How bad did I do on that test?”

 

Carlisle eases himself into the other chair and gives me a smile, “Jacob, I think you might be surprised by the results.”

 

“That bad?”

 

“No, that good.” He grabs a piece of paper and hands it over to me. “Jacob, you scored extremely high in quite a few subject. The only area where you had some difficulty was American History, but even there you scored well enough to pass that section.”

 

Looking over the sheet of paper, I don’t quite know what all the information means, but it seems promising. “So. I passed?”

 

“Most definitely. Your official GED certificate will arrive in the mail in the next couple of weeks.”

 

“Ok.” As excited as I am about the GED, that is only step one in the plan. “What about the application for the University of Washington?”

 

I cringe slightly as Carlisle takes a deep breath. When I hear him chuckle softly, I open my eyes. His smile is easy and relaxed, “It’s being processed now. As soon as I had the GED results, I sent those straight over to admissions. Obviously we are well past the normal application deadlines, but Edward was able to work with the Dean of Admissions to make this happen. You should receive an email in the next couple of days with their decision and next steps.”

 

“What do you think the chances are that I’ll get in? Realistically, Doc.”

 

Carlisle chuckles again, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You are a strong candidate. If I may give you a little advice?” When I nod my head for him to continue, his smile grows, “Good. While I’m sure you’ll want to take as many classes with Renesmee as possible, I would encourage you to consider a broad base degree path, like a liberal arts degree or maybe a business degree. Use this opportunity to learn as much about various subjects as possible. This will give you a chance to learn about a variety of topics, which I think you and Renesmee will enjoy discussing.”

 

Considering his comment, I nod in understanding. I know Ness has been studying with her father for years, and Edward doesn’t follow a strict public school education. He was teaching her Mozart when she was barely a year old. Taking a bunch of different classes will give me the chance to learn about topics that Ness has already studied. That means she can help me with the classes, if needed, but also I’ll be able to discuss those topics with her.

 

“Excellent,” Carlisle nods. His smile fades slightly as he continues to study me. “Jacob, is there something else you’d like to discuss?”  


“What do you mean, Doc?”

 

He stands, but hesitates slightly as his hand nears my neck. When I don’t flinch, trusting him, his hand slides over my skin. His ice cold fingers make me jump, but his words freeze me more than his touch.

 

“Are these bite marks?”

 

Ness hasn’t bitten me since our first date. I’ve asked her all week how she felt, and every time she has told me she feels great. She’s been eating more than I’ve ever seen her eat, though still very little compared to how much _I_ eat. When I checked my reflection in the mirror the nxt day after our date, I didn’t see any marks left on my skin, so Carlisle noticing something makes me worry.

 

“Ah-- well, um-- what do you see?”

 

He steps back and returns to his seat, “Pardon me, Jacob, I didn’t mean to be so forward. There just seems to be two nearly imperceptible dips in your skin on your neck. I can’t imagine even most vampires would notice it, but having studied the human body so much, it caught my eye. Has Ness,” he pauses for just a second, seeming to consider his words, “has she bitten you?”

 

“Well-- yes, technically.”

 

“I see,” he whispers. “Jacob, I hate to ask such a sensitive question, but I feel I must.” I’m preparing my defense, ready to explain that we haven’t had sex, that nothing has happened between us, when he asks a very different question. “Has she taken your blood?”

 

“Oh. Well, yeah-- I mean, I told her it was ok.”

 

“Interesting. May I ask,” his hand covers his mouth for just a moment, like he is considering all of the variables, “has her body reacted favorably to your blood?”

 

“I think so. Why?”

 

Carlisle nods, “As I suspected.” He looks away, still thinking obviously. A few moments later, he turns back to me, “A few years ago I ran some preliminary tests, comparing her blood to animal, human, and, well, yours. Similar to what I’ve found in her genes, her blood was most similar to yours. When I tried to mix her blood with the animal and human, it was a slow process for the two to merge together, weeks with animal blood and days with human blood. With you though, it was nearly instantaneous, the two samples merged and and worked together.”

 

While it isn’t unusual for Carlisle to sneak run a few tests here and there, I surprised he hasn’t shared this information before now. When I ask, he shrugs, “I was trying to be respectful of Edward’s wishes for your relationship with Renesmee. Taking someone’s blood-- well, it can be a very intimate moment.”

 

“Yeah,” I whisper.

 

“If I may ask, how have you felt since she took your blood? And, when was the last time she fed?”

 

“Fine,” I answer, smiling. “Ah-- it was Monday.”

 

Carlisle smiles in return, “It does appear you have healed just fine. If you don’t mind, when she returns from dance class, I’d like to run a few tests on both of you, just to make sure there aren’t any further issues.”

 

“Sure, that’ll work, Doc.”

 

-0-

 

A few hours later, I’m back in Carlisle’s office, only this time, Ness is there with me. She is bouncing around, apparently quite happy to be back in my arms. While there is a perfectly good chair available next to me, she insisted on sitting in my lap. _Not that I mind._

 

Carlisle has just finished running his tests on both of us. He left the room a few minutes ago to analyze a few things, promising to come back shortly. When he mentioned the biting, Ness blushed like crazy, but he calmed her down by explaining what he told me. While that helped, she still seems a little nervous.

 

“Do you think he knows, what all we’ve been doing lately?” she asks through her skin on mine.

 

“Nah, he just noticed some sort of invisible dent in my neck, that’s what made him ask.”

 

She pushes my head to the side and investigates my neck. “I don’t see anything.”

 

“I know, he said most vampires wouldn’t even see it. I sure as hell don’t see it.”

 

She leans over and nibbles at the spot, teasing my skin with her teeth and her tongue. When the door opens again, she jerks back.

 

Carlisle is smirking when he reenters the room. “Alright, good news. Everything seems fine with both of you. Ness,” he hands her a small box, “I’d like you to switch to these. They are a slightly higher dose. With the introduction of Jacob’s blood in your system, your metabolism has increased dramatically, necessitating an increase in the prescription. We will continue to monitor on a weekly basis until we get the right balance. Please make sure you use additional protection to prevent pregnancy if you are sexually active while we work on getting the dosage right.”

 

She nods, blushing like crazy when he mentions being sexually active. Thankfully, Carlisle doesn’t comment on her reaction, continuing on.

 

“Once you are able to test your abilities on Lillah, please report back. As for feeding from Jacob,” he pauses, looking her in the eyes, “I think he is your best resource for the nourishment your body needs. His blood is acting like a stabilizer in your body, mixing immediately with yours. This is causing you to need additional nourishment as your stomach is no longer filled with blood waiting to be processed. When you feel hungry, I encourage you to eat human food. Please start keeping a journal, documenting both feeding and when you are eating human food. I’d like to continue to monitor you moving forward for any additional changes in your body.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Carlisle shakes his head, “You two are done, go home. I’ll see you next week.”

 

Grinning, Ness leaps from my lap, “Thank you, Granddaddy!”

 

Once I’m able to stand, I offer my hand to Carlisle, “Thanks again.”

 

“Of course, be safe heading home.”

 

We walk out of his office but before we can reach the front door, Rosalie is in our path.

 

“Why didn’t you answer my calls, Renesmee? I was worried about you.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Aunt Rose,” Ness approaches her, giving her a quick hug. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I spent yesterday with Lillah and Hallie and was just exhausted. I barely saw Jacob then just passed out.”

 

“Hmmm,” Rosalie leans back from her arms, still clearly suspicious. “I think Emmett and I might need to stop down in Forks one day this week. Just to make sure everything is ok.”

 

“That would be great, Aunt Rose!” Ness gives her a wide smile, “I’d love to get a day with you.”

 

Rosalie looks over at me and I manage to plaster a huge grin on my face, “Awesome.”

 

“Alright, just let us know when you head down, Aunt Rose,” Ness gives her another hug before turning back to me. “We need to go so we can get back at a reasonable time. I’m exhausted from dance. Night everyone.”

 

Ness waves as I quickly get us out of the house and into the car. When we are a safe distance away and at a stoplight, I turn to face her, lifting my eyebrows in question, “Think she believed it?”

 

“Nope. She and Uncle Emmett are definitely going to make a surprise visit this week. I just hope someone else in the family has the decency to give me a heads up.”

 

“I’m sure Carlisle or Esme will,” I offer.

 

“I hope so,” she sighs, leaning her head against my shoulder as I take off from the light.

 

Reaching for the knob on the radio, I turn the music up slightly and I hear her softly whisper in my mind, “Thanks, Jake. Just a quick nap.”

 

A moment later, she is out cold. Even though my stomach is grumbling, I drive past Port Angeles without stopping for food since she is still sleeping. She doesn’t wake up until I pull into the driveway.

 

“I’m sorry, Jacob. You must be starving.” She pauses, before smiling, “Yes, you must be starving because I’m hungry.”

 

“Yeah. The diner might still be open,” I offer.

 

She shakes her head, “No need, come on, I’ll cook us something really quickly. I just need to let Grandpa Charlie know I’m home.”

 

She gives me a quick peck on the cheek before heading down to the cottage while I make my way up to the big white house. By the time I have the lights turned on in the kitchen, she is walking through the back door. Unfortunately, Charlie is in tow.

 

“Hey Jake. Ness mentioned she was going to cook something. I stayed a little late at work, so I wouldn’t mind a good home cooked meal myself.”

 

I give him a small wave and sigh. _Well, this evening just got fun._

 

Ness grabs my hand, her words clear in my mind, “Sorry, when I mentioned food, he perked up. I couldn’t tell him no.”

 

“It’s cool. Charlie, how was your day?”

 

Ness gives me a smile and I know that was the right answer with her. As much as I know Ness loves me, she also loves her family dearly, especially Charlie. This means a lot to her, so I want to be supportive.

 

As Charlie talks about his day, Ness leans over and grabs my hand again, “Thank you.”

 

Ness starts cooking while Charlie and I toss back a couple of beers. Once dinner is over, Charlie moves to the big television in the living room, turning on the baseball game. When I look at her, she is glancing his way.

 

“Go join him, I’ll clean up.”

 

Ness smiles and gives me a brief kiss. Before she steps out of my arms, I press my lips against her forehead, “Dinner was amazing. Seriously, where did you learn that?”

 

“Lillah,” she giggles, “and some Food Network. Have you seen Paula Deen? She’s pretty funny.”

 

She skips away from me as I shake my head at her. Before she exits the kitchen I speak as loudly as possible for her to hear, but Charlie not to, “I love you, Tathut”

 

She turns in the doorway for the kitchen, grinning, “Love you too, Jake.”

 

There is a silly grin on my face, but I don’t mind at all. She is amazing and I am one lucky man.

 

 _Now if I can just get into college, everything will be perfect._ Crossing my fingers, I set to cleaning up dinner then join her and Charlie in the living room. She leans against me and while we watch the game, she recaps her dance class for me. When Charlie wakes up just in time for the end of the game, they head down to the cottage together, while I pretend to go to my car. Once he is out of sight, I head for our clearing.

 

I’m hopeful Rosalie doesn’t decide to do a surprise visit tonight, because after just holding Ness all night, I’m eager to get my hands on her.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Decided to save the author’s note for the end, since there was so much goodness at the beginning! As a reminder, Tathut is our approximation for the Quileute word for “heart”. Jake uses it as a term of endearment for Ness. We are quickly wrapping things up in this story, but don’t worry, there are still a few more surprises left! We love hearing your thoughts, so don’t forget to hit that review button.

 


	19. Drift Into My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not SM, just two girls that love some pretty wolves and wanted to continue their story where SM left off.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting this. Real life has been a real bitch to us lately. We hate not being able to post the chapters on time and it takes a pretty serious setback for us to delay the whole two weeks. Thanks for understanding.

** Chapter 19 “Drift Into My Head” **

 

 

_Found myself today_

_Singing out loud your name,_

_You said I'm crazy,_

_If I am I'm crazy for you._

 

_Sometimes sitting in the dark_

_Wishing you were here_

_Turns me crazy,_

_But it's you who makes me lose my head._

 

_And every time I'm meant to be acting sensible_

_You drift into my head_

_And turn me into a crumbling fool._

“Crazy For You” - Adele

** NPOV **

 

-0-

 

“So what did you do?” Lillah gasps, causing Holona to jump in her arms. The baby doesn’t wake from her sleep though, she is snuggled up tight in Lillah’s arms, clearly comfortable being held by her mother. She is also apparently growing comfortable with me. Lillah mentioned earlier that Halona was fussie this morning around the time I normally show up. As soon as I arrived, she settled down. It’s a little unbelievable to me to think that this _baby_ has grown to expect my visits with her mother. It makes my leaving in a few weeks a little harder, because I really do enjoy this time with Lillah and Halona.

 

Thinking about this morning reminds me of the reason why I was late getting here, and pushes me to answer Lillah’s question. “We took everything down as fast as we could to make sure there was no evidence in the clearing and ran.”

 

“What did she say when she got there?”

 

Shaking my head, I have to laugh now at how silly everything was this morning. Aunt Rosalie finally followed up on her promise from last Friday. Around four in the morning I received a text from Grandmama Esme telling me that Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett were on their way to “visit me” and she wanted to make sure I let Charlie know. _Thank God she gave me that heads up._

 

“She came storming in. She’s lucky Grandpa Charlie didn’t have his gun on him. As soon as she opened the front door, he was in the living room, I could hear them arguing. She kept saying she knew I wasn’t there and that Emmett was searching the woods for me.”

 

“Oh no! But you guys had cleaned up your spot in the woods, right?”

 

Looking over my shoulder I give her a reassuring smile, “We had, but our scent would still linger enough that Uncle Emmett could have found it, had he looked. Thankfully, he only went on a run.”

 

“Do you think he really knew and was just covering for you and Jake?” Lillah wonders aloud.

 

I hadn’t really considered that Uncle Emmett would cover for us. Stirring the sauce in the pot on the stove, I weigh this possibility. He’s pretty laid back and seems ok with Jacob but realistically, if he was keeping things quiet for us, it was all for _me_. “I don’t know, it could be that he didn’t want to lie to Aunt Rose about what he might find. Plus, Dad would be able to pick his brain and find out the truth when they get back anyway.”

 

Lillah wrinkles her nose and nods, “Yeah, I forget about that little detail. Thank goodness neither of my parents could ever read my mind or Embry’s.” We both laugh at that thought. Lillah and Embry’s relationship didn’t really start out like a normal one. Halona stretches and wiggles in Lillah’s arms at the sound of our laughter. I watch my friend cradling her baby girl. It’s still hard to believe that Embry is a dad. However, there is no denying he and Lillah are great parents.

 

My friends voice breaks into my thoughts and I glance up at her pretty face. “Sorry, what?”

 

“You said you wanted to test something on me-- something to do with your gift?” Lillah prompts me and I shake my head at myself. While I love spending time with her, I can’t seem to get my head out of the clouds lately. I’ve found myself losing track of our conversations more and more. Of course, my thoughts center on Jacob; the more time I spend with him, the more he’s on my mind.

 

Pulling myself together I try to recall what I wanted to test with Lillah. When I remember, I frown slightly. Turning off the burner and moving the pot to the back of the stove, I turn around and face her, “I did, but I thought Embry wanted to be here? I know Jacob wanted to be here too.”

 

“If it has to do with your gift, it can’t be a big deal, right?” Lillah smiles at me as I move to sit next to her at the table.

 

I consider her point, “No, it’s not a big deal, just-- they wanted to be here.”

 

Lillah tilts her head, “Do you really want them hovering over us if it isn’t a big deal? Because, they will; Embry will be freaking out every moment and I’m guessing Jacob will be the same.”

 

My eyes go wide as I look up at her. The image of the two of them is clear in my mind and I  know without a shadow of a doubt that she is absolutely correct. “You have a point,” I sigh.

 

“They mean well,” Lillah offers, smiling broadly, “they just worry about us. I’m pretty sure Embry would dress Hallie and I in bubble wrap if he thought it would keep us safe.”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense. But don’t you think-- I don’t want to upset Jacob, or disappoint him. Won’t Embry get mad?”

 

Lillah pats my hand, “It will be fine. Personally I’d just rather try now without them here; get a true measure. How about this, we’ll still do a ‘test’ when they are both here, this can just be our practice run?”

 

“I guess--,” I hesitate, still a little worried.

 

Lillah grins, “I promise, it will be fine. Nothing to worry about and no pressure, just us girls here. Tonight you can do the ‘official’ test with the boys around. Plus you still need to run the test on Embry too, right?” I nod slowly and she bounces her head like the decision is made, “Good. Until then, tell me what’s going on.”

 

“Ok,” I can’t help grinning at her. She definitely knows how to handle Embry, so I trust her ideas on how to calm Jacob. Taking a deep breath, I begin explaining, “The thing is-- I can touch Jake on places other than just his face and he can hear my thoughts. Grandaddy Carlisle is curious about whether it works on anyone else. It’s possible it only extends to Jake, which fascinated Grandaddy.”

 

Lillah perks up at my explanation; she’s always been interested in me being able to share my thoughts with others. Even though I’ve only demonstrated it to her a few times, we’ve had fun coming up with ways for me to drive Jacob a little crazy. I don’t use it against him, but I definitely feel like it sometimes gives him the nudge he needs.

 

“Show me what you got, girly girl. I’m very curious to see if it works on me too.” If Lillah weren’t holding Hallie, she’d be bouncing up and down in her seat. After we decide it might be best for her to put the baby in her bassinet I scoot my chair closer to hers and take a few steadying breaths. I don’t know what I expect or even want for the outcome of today’s experiment. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, how cool it would be if this is something only Jacob and I share. Possibly because of our strong imprint connection.

 

I love that Lillah is so willing to be my guinea pig in this adventure. I don’t know anyone else I’d rather try it out on. She’s such a great friend; I feel lucky to have her. Taking a few deep breaths I concentrate on Lillah’s face before letting my hand rest on her bare arm and close my eyes. Using images of her little family I focus on transferring my thoughts to Lillah.

 

When she doesn’t say anything as I flash mental pictures of Embry holding Hallie I speak quietly, “Anything?”

 

Without raising her voice an octave Lillah whispers, “No”. I frown but hold onto that image as I reach up and touch her cool face. The gasp that follows tells me she’s seeing what I’m showing her and I drop my hand to my lap. As I open my eyes the first thing I see is Lillah’s eyes wide in front of me. “I didn’t see a thing until you touched my face, Ness.”

 

Sitting back in my chair I take it all in; wondering what this means, how my gift will grow and shift as Jacob and I spend more time together. Whether, eventually, I’ll be able to share thoughts with others in the same ways, or if it will always only be my wolf.

 

“That’s really special and amazing.” Lillah insists and I nod in agreement. I’m a bit astounded now that I’ve confirmed what we already thought might be the case. “How do you think Jacob will react?”

 

“I’m not sure,” I answer, honestly.

 

“When will you tell your grandfather the results of your test?”

 

I hadn’t even thought about when we’d get back with Granddaddy Carlisle about the theory, being so focused on just trying it out. “I’ll probably wait until Jacob and I go see him again, maybe this Friday after dance. I think he would prefer we tell Granddaddy together.”

 

Lillah is talking but my mind is going in a million directions. I’m even more curious about my gift and it’s uses. When she asks me if I’m ok I pull myself out of my own head and assure Lillah I’m fine. “Just thinking about how it might evolve over time.” I explain.

 

Her lips purse and Lillah nods in understanding. “That’s exciting though. You and Jake have so many more years to share with one another. I imagine it will change.”

 

“Yes, I don’t doubt it will. I’m very curious to see where it goes, to be honest. Part of me thought it might just be Jake, but another part was prepared for you to be able to see my thoughts too.”

 

Lillah assures me that seems normal to her. We spend the remainder of the afternoon cooing over Hallie, talking about our men, and preparing dinner for tonight. All topics that always manage to put smiles on both our faces.

 

-0-

 

As soon as I walk through the front door of Granddaddy’s house in Seattle I’m being pulled into my mother’s arms.

 

“Ness, I’ve missed you so much!” She leans back from the hug, takes a quick look at me then glances over her shoulder to Granddaddy Carlisle, “You said she’d stopped growing. This is not the same little girl I left behind two weeks ago.”

 

“Mom,” I can feel the blush rising up my chest to my cheeks. Just when I can’t stand it any longer, she turns back, placing her cool hand against my cheek.

 

“You will always be my little girl, but it looks like these two weeks have been good for you.”

 

Nodding, I place my hand against her cheek and give her a quick summary. She smiles and pulls me tight against her again, “I’m so happy for you, baby.”

 

Over my shoulder I can hear Dad stepping over to Jacob, “Good to see you again, thanks for bringing her to Seattle for dance while we’ve been gone.”

 

“Sure, my pleasure.”

 

As I step back from my mom, Jacob’s arms are there waiting for me. His hand rests on my hip as my father continues speaking, “Are you two heading back tonight?”

 

I hesitate, unsure of what plans Jacob might have for us. He gives me a quick grin then turns back to Dad, “That was the plan, just wanted to stop by and update Carlisle on a few things.”

 

Granddaddy Carlisle nods then his eyes dart over to Dad, “Nothing to worry about son, just an exercise I asked them to try for me. Testing Renesmee’s gift on a few people, check the boundaries. Jacob, Ness, if you’ll follow me, we can take care of that right away so we can continue with the celebration of Edward and Bella’s return.”

 

“Sure,” Dad sighs, “though, before you leave, Jacob, I’d like to have a quick word with you.”

 

“Of course,” Jacob nods as he leads me toward Granddaddy’s office.

 

We quickly update Granddaddy on the tests, including the test I ran on both Lillah and Embry. Jacob and Embry still don’t know that Lillah and I did a “practice run”, but since we did the “real” test that evening, I’m glad we did the practice run earlier in the day. Jacob was standing over me, his hands tight against my shoulders. Embry had insisted that Hallie needed to be asleep before we started. Once she was asleep, he then wanted to be sitting right next to Lillah, holding her as close to him as possible without her sitting in his lap. Thankfully the real test turned out the same way; nothing outside of the face. Same thing with Embry.

 

My head jerks to focus on Granddaddy when I hear him call my name, “Sorry, what?”

 

“I was just saying I’d like to run a quick blood test, just to see where we are on the birth control.”

 

“Oh, sure,” I answer.

 

Granddaddy takes my blood but doesn’t make us wait for the results this time, “I’ll let you know if there is any need to change the strength.”

 

When Jacob leads me back out, Mom is outside of the office waiting for us. She points down the hall, “Jake, he’s down in the study if you want to go talk with him.”

 

“Is he going to rip my balls off?” Jacob asks with a wink.

 

Mom shakes her head, “Not that I know of. Any reason why he should need to?”

 

“Not that I know of,” Jacob smiles at Mom. He leans down and gives me a brief kiss on the lips. “Be right back, Tathut.”

 

“Ok,” I whisper, watching him walk away. I’ve grown to appreciate Jacob’s butt recently. Honestly I’ve grown to appreciate all of Jacob’s body, but I like watching him walk away. His jeans fit very nicely.

 

“Come on,” Mom laughs, pulling me into the kitchen.

 

She makes me a sandwich, asking question after question. When I mention taking Jacob’s blood, she pauses and looks up from her task, “Ness--.”

 

“It’s ok, Granddaddy ran a bunch of tests. He says Jacob’s blood is most compatible with my body. I’ve actually been eating food-- like a lot-- lately. I’ve been hungry. Jacob loves it.”

 

She tilts her head, apparently considering something then gives a brief nod, “I’ll check in with Carlisle, but I think I understand how that works. Glad to hear you are getting to be even more normal.”

 

When she hands me the sandwich, she moves to the entryway of the kitchen. After a brief pause, she returns to me, placing her hand on my shoulder and leaning close. “I talked to Esme,” she whispers, “your place is all ready-- for you and Jacob.”

 

Turning quickly, I can feel my smile taking over my face, “Really?”

 

“Really. I’ll work on your father, so it won’t be a shock to him. You can move in the week before classes start.” I jump up from the stool I’m sitting on and wrap my arms around my mother, holding her tight.

 

“Thank you so much. Honestly, Mom, thank you.” There are tears falling from my eyes and I can’t hide how excited I am. Not only will Jacob be in Seattle with me as much as possible, but my wonderful mother has worked it out for us to actually live together. No more tent or sneaking around. Jacob and I sharing a place. _I can’t wait._

 

-0-

 

“What did Dad want to talk to you about?” I ask as Jacob drives us back to Forks. Mom and Dad are staying in Seattle an extra day; Dad mentioned he has some business to take care of in Seattle.

 

“Oh nothing, just updating me on the status of a few things.”

 

Twisting my head, I try to read his face. While it doesn’t seem like he’s lying, I definitely feel like he isn’t telling me everything. That is very unlike Jacob.

 

However, I don’t want to press this issue too much. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I move my hand to rest against his and push a thought into his mind, “So he didn’t rip your balls off?”

 

“Nah,” he chuckles. “He did mention that Rosalie was certain we had been up to something, but he seemed to blow her off as just being overprotective of you and hating me.”

 

I’m laughing at the idea when my phone buzzes. Glancing at the number I pick it up quickly, “Hi Grandpa, what’s up?”

 

Grandpa Charlie’s distinctive chuckle fills the car, “Hey kiddo. Your mom just called and said they won’t be home until Sunday. You on your way?”

 

“We are, Jacob and I are about half way there.” Jacob smiles when he hears his name.

 

“Hmph, well, I’m going to grab a quick snack at the diner and I’ll see you at the cottage.”

 

Even though I’m on the phone, I shake my head like Grandpa can see me, “Sounds good. Make sure you order vegetables instead of fries.”

 

He mumbles low in the phone but I can still hear him, “Just like your mother.” That comparison makes me very happy.

 

“Hey, before I let you go, if I’m asleep when you get back, wanted to mention that Sue invited us over for dinner tomorrow night.”

 

“Is that so?” I ask, suddenly very excited for him. “Is this like the families meeting?”

 

“None of that, Ness. She just wanted me to mention it to you, said you should bring Jacob.”

 

Jacob obviously hears the conversation and nods enthusiastically. “Ok, sounds like a plan. You go eat dinner, Grandpa. I’ll see you when I get home.”

 

“Ok. Jacob staying over again?” Grandpa grumbles.

 

“Grandpa,” I say cautiously.

 

“I know, imprint-crap, but it still seems a little crazy. That boy cannot be comfortable in your bed.”

 

Jacob shrugs and I can’t help laughing, “We make it work.”

 

“HMPH. I don’t understand why you don’t just get a bigger bed.”

 

My eyes dart up to Jacob. I haven’t told him yet about the news Mom shared with me, but figure this is as good a time as any, “I think that is a good idea, Grandpa. I’ll take care of that soon.”

 

“Yeah, good idea. I’ve got lots of those. Like Jacob going to sleep in his own bed.”

 

Grandpa is still grumbling when I manage to hang up, promising to wake him up when I get home.

 

“Getting a new bed?” Jacob asks, clearly catching the part I wanted him to hear.

 

“Yep. In our new place in Seattle. Mom and Grandmama Esme got it all worked out.”

 

“Seriously?” Jacob grins, his eyes darting between me and the road.

 

“Seriously. We have a place in Seattle. Whenever you are able to be there, I want you there!”

 

He kisses the top of my head, “I can’t wait, Ness.”

 

“I leave in just a few weeks to move in,” I sigh, realizing how quickly this summer has passed. Now that the time is approaching, I need to know Jacob will really be there. I can’t not have him close.

 

“Don’t worry,” he says, answering the part of my thoughts that I didn’t share with him. Even without my gift, Jacob is able to read me so well. “I don’t know if I’ll be there right away, but very soon, Ness. Very soon. I really can’t be away from you,” his voice dips low on this last confession.

 

Getting as close to him as I can with my seatbelt on, I duck my head under his arm and whisper, “Same, Jacob. I love you. I really can’t imagine not having you close.”

 

“It will happen, don’t worry.”

 

As much as I trust him, there is still a twinge of concern. Not knowing his plans and when he’ll actually be able to join me in the apartment is scary. However, I know I have to trust him and that he is just as anxious to be together as I am.

 

-0-

 

“Ness! I’m so glad you could join us,” Sue pulls me close as soon as I walk into the Clearwater’s house. She is so warm and friendly; perfect for Grandpa Charlie, not that I’d ever tell him that.

 

“Hey, Sue.” I give her a smile as I lean back and point over my shoulder, “Hope you don’t mind that I brought these two with me.”

 

She places her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes for a moment. I’m barely able to hold in my laughter when she shakes her head, “I guess it’s fine.”

 

“Awww, Sue, come on, I’m like the son you never had,” Jacob jokes as he hugs her briefly.

 

“She has a son, you idiot,” Seth rolls his eyes as he and Jacob do some complicated handshake.

 

Sue winks at Seth, “And a fantastic son at that.”

 

Jacob’s arm snakes around my waste just as I turn back to see Grandpa Charlie shuffle into the house. His eyes don’t quite meet Sue’s as he closes the door behind him and shows her the flowers he has hidden behind his back. “Um, thanks for having us over for dinner, Sue.”

 

“Jake, Ness, Seth, get in here and help me,” Leah calls from another room. Jacob and Seth exchange a quick look and grin just as I feel Jacob’s hand gently press against my back, moving me forward.

 

Just as I’m about to turn my head back to check on Grandpa, Jacob whispers low, “Come on, let’s go help Leah.”

 

When we turn the corner into the kitchen, the smell of the food makes my mouth water. “What smells so amazing?”

 

“Salmon,” Leah whispers dismissively. She then cocks her head to the side. “He’s worse than a teenager.”

 

I’m about to ask what she means when Jacob leans against one of the counters, pulling me to him so that my back rests against his chest. His hands hold my hips as his chin dips to rest on my shoulder. Standing like this, all thoughts leave my mind. All I can do is feel every inch of his body that is touching mine, wish that we were anywhere else in the world right now. When he speaks, I jump in surprise because I’m so lost in the feel of him, “Give him a break, Leah.”

 

My focus returns to the conversation at hand just in time to see Leah roll her eyes, “He needs to just man up. How long have they been dancing around this?”

 

“I thought you didn’t like them being together,” I whisper, surprised by this change.

 

“Well, I’m not thrilled, but I know Charlie is decent. Too decent. He annoys me taking this long. Either you like her or you don’t. You shouldn’t play with a woman’s feelings like that.”

 

“Give it a rest, Leah,” Seth huffs. It appears this is a regular fight between the two siblings. Seth had told me a while back that Leah didn’t like Grandpa being around their mom, but I always assumed her dislike of my grandfather was out of loyalty to her own father. While I’m sure that may still be true, I never would have guessed Grandpa Charlie being so hesitant with Sue would also be a reason for Leah to dislike him. However, this doesn’t seem to be a problem for Seth, “I like that he is so respectful of her. She is still our mom.”

 

Leah shrugs, but is clearly still irritated, “Whatever, help me set the table.”

 

Nothing else is said beyond Leah barking out orders of where to put the food on the table. Once everything is out, she calls Grandpa and Sue into the dining room. Sue makes a big show of getting a vase and setting the flowers in the center of the table. Leaning into Jacob, I share my thought with him, “They are so cute together.”

 

His chest rumbles with laughter that he doesn’t allow to escape, but I get the message. Dinner is delicious and I make sure to compliment Leah as such. Seth turns to me at one point, his eyebrow raised. He glances at my plate then at me. I’m not sure what is going on until Jacob clears his throat and whispers low for Seth, “New development, she has an appetite when she isn’t living off animal blood.”

 

Seth sits back slightly, obviously trying to figure out what is going on. I twist back to Jacob just in time to see him pointing at his throat. “Jacob,” I hiss and swat my hand at his stomach.

 

“Oh!” Seth whispers. When I glance back at him, he at least doesn’t look horrified, which is good. While Seth and I haven’t had time to hang out like we use to, he is still a very dear friend of mine. He gives me a reassuring smile, “That’s cool. Imprinting at it’s best, huh?”

 

Nodding, I glance back at Jacob. His smile is huge as he looks down at me. He kisses my nose, whispering, “I love you.”

 

“Ok, I really don’t need to see that at the dinner table,” Grandpa Charlie jumps in.

 

Sue reaches her hand over and places it on Grandpa’s, patting gently, “Charlie, they are in love, it’s sweet.”

 

It looks like Grandpa wants to reply, but stops when Sue’s hand squeezes his gently. Seth looks over at me, his eyes practically in the back of his head he’s rolling them so hard. I’m barely able to keep my laughter in.

 

“So Ness,” Sue jumps in, obviously trying to change the subject, “how are the college plans going?”

 

“College?” Grandpa jumps in before I can answer. My heart sinks as I realize I still haven’t told him about leaving. I meant to while Mom and Dad were gone but-- well, Jacob distracted me a lot. Plus, truth be told, I haven’t been looking forward to telling him. Besides Jacob, he was the person I was dreading telling about leaving the most.

 

Sue glances between Grandpa and I, “Yes. College. University of Washington in Seattle, right Seth?”

 

“SEATTLE?” Grandpa Charlie roars. “What do you mean Seattle? When is this happening?”

 

“Charlie,” Jacob jumps in, “it isn’t a big deal, we’ll be back on the weekends.”

 

All of the color leaves his face, “You are going with her?”

 

“Grandpa,” I start quietly. Jacob grabs my hand and squeezes tight. He doesn’t say anything, giving me the opportunity to explain. I know he’ll jump in if I ask him, but it’s my grandfather; I need to be the one to tell him this. Taking a deep breath, I pull all my strength together and look Grandpa Charlie in the eyes, “I should have told you sooner, I’m sorry. I’m leaving in a few weeks for Seattle, but like Jacob said, I’ll be back on the weekends. I can’t stay away, my family, you, are here.”

 

“But why do you have to go?” Grandpa Charlie’s voice is almost a whine. He clears his throat, then proceeds a little more gruffly, “And why is Jacob going with you? What are you going to do there, Jake?”

 

“Because I want to study art,” I whisper. I don’t mention the original reason for my decision, he doesn’t need to know that. “And Jacob is going because--,” I hesitate, not wanting to mention imprinting, but also unsure how to tell him I can’t live without Jacob.

 

“Charlie,” Jacob jumps in, “I love Ness. I want her to have this opportunity to learn. I would move heaven and earth to make her happy. Learning about art makes her happy. I’m going with her to be a supportive boyfriend, and to be with her. We’ve told you about imprinting-- I can’t be away from her five days a week, but I also won’t deny her the chance to grow. So I’m going with her. I’m working on few things while we are there, but like she said, we’ll be back on the weekends. My family, my pack, is here. While I trust Leah to take over while I’m gone, I still need to be here as much as possible. Ness understands that, and us coming back on the weekends seems to be the best compromise. We will be here any time she isn’t in class.”

 

My heart thrums in my chest as Jacob speaks. He always seems to be able to summarize my thoughts so eloquently. He truly understands me and knows when to back off and when to step up. I’m dying to turn and kiss him in thanks, but instead I squeeze his hand tight and send my love through our connection.

 

“I guess-- that makes sense,” Grandpa Charlie replies, slumping slightly. The fight seems to have left him.

 

“I’ll still be here, Charlie,” Sue turns to him, giving him a sly wink. This perks him up, a small grin grows on his face.

 

Before he can get too excited though, another thought pops in his mind and he turns back to me, frowning, “What about Bella?”

 

Obviously, Mom has avoided mentioning the move to Grandpa too. _Well, since I’ve already broken his heart once tonight, might as well finish off the job._ Taking a deep breath I open my mouth to begin when his hand flies in the air.

 

“Don’t bother,” he sighs. “I get it. I knew they couldn’t stay here forever. I was lucky they stayed these last few years with you.”

 

“She’ll be back, Grandpa,” I whisper.

 

He nods, “Yeah, I know. Just not the same.”

 

Jacob’s thumb is making small circles over my hand, trying to ease the tension. Abruptly, I lift myself from my chair and move to stand next to Grandpa Charlie. He glances up at me then stands too, pulling me into a tight bear hug. The leather and peppermint scent surrounds me as I lean into him, wrapping my arms around him tight. “I love you, Grandpa,” I whisper softly.

 

“I know, kiddo. Love you too,” he whispers against my hair.

 

Relaxing my grip on him, I lean back to look into his eyes. He gives me a soft, understanding smile. While I don’t use my gift on him a lot, I lift my hand, hovering it over his cheek for a moment until he nods.

 

Placing my hand against his scratchy beard, I speak slowly into his mind, trying to give him a little push, “With us gone at least during the week, it gives you a chance to spend more time with Sue. I think you should take her out on a date. She is a great woman and you deserve to be happy, Grandpa.”

 

He sighs when I remove my hand. He places a brief kiss on my forehead, whispering, “Alright, I hear you, Ness.”

 

When Grandpa releases me, I slowly return to where I was sitting before. Jacob wraps me in his arms, whispering his love for me into my ear.

 

After all that, my appetite has left me, but the others finish their food in silence. A few minutes pass before Leah jumps up, “Who’s ready for coffee and dessert? Ness, mind helping me in the kitchen?”

 

I’m startled by this request, my eyes jumping to hers in question. She shrugs then tilts her head toward the kitchen. Glancing at Jacob, he shakes his head, obviously as confused as I am. Not wanting to keep Leah waiting, I get up to follow.

 

As I pass by Grandpa Charlie, he grabs my hand, “Just to be clear, there’s not anything else you want to spring on me, right? No more secrets you aren’t telling me.”

 

I give him a quick peck on the cheek, “Nope, you know everything now, Grandpa.”

 

“Good. Good.” He releases my hand, giving me a quick smile before turning back to face Sue.

 

I can hear Jacob and Seth whispering behind me as I turn into the kitchen. Leah has a tray filled with coffee and plates waiting for me. Giving her a hesitant smile I attempt to make small talk with her, “What’s for dessert?”

 

“Strawberry pie,” she says. I’m about to try to come up with something else to say to her when she spins to face me. “You’ll definitely be back on the weekends?”

 

“Ahh--- yes, that’s the plan.”

 

I want to ask her why, but she answers that question without me prompting her. “I wanted to say thanks to you, for mentioning to Lillah about me wanting to open a yoga and pilates studio. She reached out to me the other day; she was really excited about the prospect.”

 

“Oh, that’s great!” It takes a lot to contain my shock. I thought for sure Leah would be upset with me for mentioning it to Lillah. I don’t think Lillah told Leah she heard it from me, but it isn’t a big leap to figure out how Lillah found out.

 

“Yeah, she was giving me all kinds of ideas. She’s really-- sweet. Anyway, she wanted to do a class on the weekends, maybe Saturday mornings. She thought you would be available to join us then.”

 

“That should work,” I smile at her.

 

Her eyes dart down to the floor then back up at me, “I did want to ask you. I know you’ll only be here on the weekends, but once I do get space for the studio, would you have any interest in teaching ballet? It’s really not my thing, but the more I think about it, it might be worth adding as an option. Especially for little kids. Lillah mentioned she’d love to give Hallie the chance to take ballet when she is older.”

 

“Oh. That’s very flattering of you to consider me, Leah.” I’m honestly shocked by this conversation. First because this is the most Leah and I have ever talked to one another. Second because if I am connected to her business in that way, she and I would have to talk even more than this on a pretty regular basis. Leah has never struck me as someone that wants to talk much, especially to me. “Would you mind if I think about it, maybe talk with Jacob?”

 

“That’s fine. It won’t happen any time soon. I’m going to rent space at the community center here on the Rez to start. I just-- wanted to mention it to you.”

 

“I really appreciate you thinking of me,” I give her a soft, what I hope is friendly, smile. She jerks her head in an uncomfortable nod then turns back to grab the dessert.

 

“Come on, Seth starts whining if he has to wait more than five minutes for food.”

 

Grabbing the tray, I follow Leah back to the dining room. When I sit down, Jacob leans against me, speaking directly in my ear. It takes a moment for his words to register, the sensation of his lips against my ear distracting my mind.

 

“Everything ok?”

 

Sliding my hand in his I replay the time in the kitchen for him. Once I finish, Jacob’s head jerks up and I see him catch Leah’s eyes. She narrows hers for a brief second then nods once to Jacob. He turns back to me, pulling me close to him again, his lips tight against my ear as he speaks.

 

“You are amazing. Have I mentioned that lately? How did you do all that?”

 

“I don’t know,” I whisper into his mind. “I just-- listened and supported my friends? I really didn’t do anything, Lillah was the one that reached out to Leah.”

 

“Yes, but you put the chess pieces into position. You truly are amazing.”

 

Leaning into Jacob, I grin up at him, moving my hand to his cheek, “I’m just being a good friend. You are the amazing one. I love you.”

 

He again kisses my nose. This time Grandpa Charlie doesn’t complain. When I twist my head to see why that is, I find him leaning closer to Sue, whispering into her ear as she giggles.

 

My eyes dart to Leah. She is exhaling softly. She doesn’t look upset, just resigned, like this development was just inevitable.

 

My heart suddenly breaks for Leah and Seth. The last two wolves that haven’t imprinted. I’ve heard that Leah dates, but I’m not sure about Seth. It has to be hard on them.

 

“I don’t know if it’ll ever happen for them,” Jacob speaks so softly I barely hear him. “I hope so, though. They both deserve it. I can’t imagine not having someone to ground you. To share your life with.”

 

Tightening my grip on his hand, I flash a picture of Sue into his mind followed by my thought, “I think they did have someone to ground them. She was their focus, their reason to stay human.”

 

“What do you think will happen if Sue and Charlie finally get together?” Jacob hisses.

 

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly through my hand in his, “but maybe it’ll give both of them a chance to finally be open to imprinting.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

Leah’s eyes dart back to Jacob and I. I’m not sure if she heard what Jacob said, but the look in her eye is clear. _She doesn’t want our pity._ It doesn’t surprise me, Leah has never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her.

 

I try to convey with my eyes that it isn’t pity, but understanding. Seeing her and Seth here with Sue, I truly do think that if Sue and Charlie finally make progress, Seth and Leah’s lives will change drastically. Somehow though, I have a feeling it will be for the better.

 

-0-

 

 **A/N:** Thanks again for your patience!!!

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not SM. Story is all ours though.
> 
>  
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS. I know this took a long time and I sent out many fake updates letting y'all know I'd be updating soon. BUT LOOK AT THIS, NOT A FAKE OUT. A real chapter. For those that have loved on this story and Losing Control for so long, thank you thank you thank you. Now on to the smut. *grin*

** JPOV **

  


Ness and I don’t linger at dinner. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, before Bella and Edward get back. There’s no doubt in my mind that they will want to spend time with Ness when they return. Not that I can blame them. They both love her very much, and as someone else that feels the same way, I can at least understand the desire to be near her. It's not like they refuse to let me see her but I don't want to get in the way of their family time before we leave for Seattle.

 

Ness and I decide to spend one last night in our clearing and set up our little camp site again. I’m going to miss the tent, I admit to myself. Well, I’ll miss the privacy, but not the cramped space. A smile spreads across my face when I think about the apartment Ness and I will share in Seattle. Our own space together. No having to spend nights away from one another when all we want to do is cuddle up (her), and kiss (me).

  
“What are you smiling about?” Ness comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist.

 

I run my hands down her arms, her skin like silk, and place my hands on top of hers, twisting our fingers together. “Us. Living together, specifically. I’m really looking forward to making that move.”  I feel a slight pressure on my shoulder blade, a kiss, before she replies. “As am I, my Jacob.”

  
There is a smile in her voice and I can’t help but want to turn around and see her beautiful face. When I pull her around in front of me she’s still beaming and it makes my heart jump. It’s crazy to think that one person can love another this much. But I do, I love her so intensely that it seems almost unbelievable if I think of it too long. When I allow myself to let it drift around in my mind I also realize things will just get better and better as time goes on. I have never been so thankful for something in my life.

  
We finish setting up the tent area and talk about how we’ll both miss this little spot. I make a mental note to remember to bring her back here for a picnic, maybe on the next holiday. Valentine's day? Though, that may be too cold to be romantic. I can probably manage to keep her warm though, I smirk at the thought. Mostly when visions of my body resting on top of hers while I kiss her sweet lips. I'm looking forward to it already.

  


Tugging on my hand she brings me back to our current moment and I watch as Ness sits on the pile of blankets and sleeping bags. She folds her beautiful legs under her body and my gaze lingers on them. Ness laughs and shakes her head when she catches me drooling. Not bothering to explain myself I flop down onto the comfortable spot next to her.

  
“You are so beautiful,” I tell her, watching the blush on her face grow as I reach out to touch her cheek, running the back of my fingers along her pale skin. Bringing Ness’ face close to mine I kiss her lips softly. Her lips taste like vanilla. I realize that is cheesy to be thinking about but it's true. I know she uses some sort of lip stuff with flavor. Ness leans into my chest immediately and I wrap my arms around her, playing with the ends of her long hair as they brush her back. Twisting the strands around my fingers I wrap my hand up in the length, using it to tilt her head so I can move my lips down her neck.

  
Obviously my senses are heightened but it's mind blowing how good she tastes on my tongue. When I nip at her she shivers, her nipples hardening against my chest. Growling into her skin I move back up to her jaw to whisper in her ear, “Do you want to--?”

 

I’m not really sure what it is I’m asking but she nods and pushes back when I release her hair. No hesitation. _Well ok, then_. Her shirt comes up and over her head faster than I expect. There’s no way I could keep my eyes from dropping to her boobs, even if I wanted to. Which I don't, because I'm not stupid. Ness is wearing a light purple bra, it's trimmed with lace, and I can see through it. Dear, god. Hallelujah. Her nipples looks like they are begging me to lick them. Of course I am happy to do just that.

 

Tracing the fabric with my fingertip I then slip under the lace, watching as goose bumps pop up on her skin. It still makes me crazy to know that I can do that to her. That her body reacts to mine so quickly. That I'm lucky enough to be with someone I love so very deeply. Trying to ignore the way my dick is already getting hard I pay attention to the beautiful woman in front of me. I need to worship her.

 

Without me being prepared for what she's about to do Ness reaches behind her back, unhooking her bra, allowing the straps slip down her arms. As I help her to pull off the scrap of material I rub it between my fingers, soaking in the warmth of her skin. I’m not one to waste time. I drop it between us and cup one of her breasts in my hand. Her breath is shaky when I use the fingers on my other hand to play with her uncovered nipple.

  
I watch my hands, letting my eyes dart up to her face every few seconds. It’s hard to know where to look. She’s so responsive that I can’t decide what’s better -- seeing the glazed over look in her eyes or watching her nipples pop out. Hmm. My thumb and index finger pluck at little and she whimpers. The sounds she makes are my favorite in the world.   


Unable to wait any longer I drop my face to pull a nipple into my mouth. I love how perfectly sized her breasts are. They fit in my hands just right. My mouth, even better. When I suck on her nipple, flicking my tongue against it, my nose is buried against Ness’ skin as I inhale her scent. How is it that she smells so sweet? Delicious. She is absolutely edible.

That thought makes my hard-on jump in my jeans, because now all I can think about is tasting her everywhere. All of her skin, from head to toe, stopping for a leisurely taste of her thighs. _Fuck_. _Would she let me_?

 

She is climbing onto my lap, straddling me, pressing her pussy against my cock. And fuck if it doesn’t feel painfully good. Well shit, I guess we aren't wasting any time. Not that we really have to. I've wanted this for too long, but I haven't wanted to push her. Looks like I worried for nothing. Fuck. This girl. My imprint.

 

“Ness?” My left hand drops to her waist, pulling her tight against me. When I lift my face from her chest she’s watching me with intensity, waiting. Her lips are parted, quick breaths puffing out of her lungs. I look into her heavy eyes and make a trail over to the button of her waistband, gauging her reaction as I use my legs to kneel and lay her back.

 

Leaving the button open I move my hand back up to her torso, skimming over her stomach and ribs until I reach her breasts. I’m almost desperate to have her nipples back in my mouth; I don’t waste any time.

 

She whispers my name, her voice all full of whimpers and moans and it makes the animalistic nature inside of me want to get her completely naked. Moving my hands up her stomach, along the slight flare of her hips. I place kisses on her skin until I reach her puckered nipple. Pulling it into my mouth, I take it between my teeth and give it a light tug. Ness’ fingers twist in my hair, pulling my head closer as her back arches toward me. I growl against her tit, thrilled with her reaction to me. She's always been relaxed around me but seeing her completely letting go is sexy as hell.

 

Slipping my thigh between her legs I use my weight to hold Ness down on our temporary bed. I want her at my mercy. Having given her a few minutes of time with my mouth I slide a hand back down her stomach, to her pants. My movements are slow, in case she wants to stop me, or even shows the slightest hesitation.

 

“Jake, please?”

  
My eyes dart up to her face when her sweet voice touches my ears. Ness is looking down at me, hopeful and full of desire. I was almost afraid she would tell me we needed to stop. That look on her face nearly makes my brain shut down but I keep moving. I don’t ask her what she’s begging me to do, hoping it’s the same thing I’m thinking about. Have been thinking about all day.

 

I place kisses as far as I can, meeting the fabric covering the rest of Ness’ body. She picks up one of my hands and moves it to the zipper of her jeans, leaving me with zero doubt. Sliding the metal down slowly I watch as her panties underneath are revealed. They barely qualify as clothing, the material is so thin. Ness wiggles her hips, pushing at her jeans with a hand. I’m unable to stop the chuckle of laughter that rumbles forward.

 

“You in a hurry, Tathut?” I ask with a smirk on my face as I keep my eyes on hers.

 

She blushes at my question but nods her head ‘yes’. No way am I going to deny her anything when she is so obviously eager. It's both cute and sexy, seeing her anxious with desire.

 

Together, we shimmy down her jeans, over her hips, panties dragging along until Ness reaches  to stop them. Not quite ready to let those go, I guess. To be honest, I’d rather take my time and remove that bit of material myself. Reveal her to my eyes slowly instead of a collective removal of the last piece of her clothing. The anticipation building and burning.

 

I drag Ness's jeans all the way down her beautiful legs. They are shapely, her muscles defined but feminine. Dance has done amazing things to her limbs. While they are full of power, there is still beauty and delicateness as well. A fine balance that draws the eye all the way to the tips of her toes, which are painted a soft pink. Her perfection blows my mind.

 

When I reach her feet and pull the jeans completely off I crawl back up the makeshift bed I let my eyes wander up Ness’ body. That’s when I notice her fingers are gripping the waistband of her panties. I allow my eyes to move up to meet hers, unsure whether she’s holding on to them because she wants me to give her time or she’s ready to rip them off herself. Smiling to myself I imagine her doing just that. For Ness to lose her senses, to be unable to control her lust for me, would be unbelievably sexy.

 

“Still ok?” I wonder aloud.

 

“I’m great, Jake. You always make me feel comfortable.” Ness responds quickly. Her voice sounds confident, thank goodness. It puts any lingering hesitation I may have had behind me.

 

Placing kisses up her thigh I take my time, giving both of us the opportunity to soak in this new piece of our relationship. I follow my lips with my fingertips, all the up to her hips, stopping at the waist of her panties. Hooking my fingers under the lace I watch as I slowly begin to pull them down. This time, Ness doesn’t help, as she did with her jeans. From above me, I can see her stomach quivering, her breaths coming and going sharply.

 

I keep my eyes on my hands as I lower them, sliding over the indention below her hip bone, thigh, to her knees, down her shins. Letting my fingers glide along her skin lightly the entire way until finally I reach her ankles and pull the fabric off, over her feet. Without bothering to look at where they land I toss the piece of clothing over my shoulder and grin down at Ness. Her hands reach out to me, asking me to come closer.

 

She’s biting on her lip, her eyes on my mouth. I want nothing more than to kiss her in that single second. Ness’ body feels soft against mine, the curves of her body pressing in my chest and hips. Without me realizing what she’s about to do I feel her legs move and then they are wrapped around my hips, pressing her against my crotch. It’s impossible for me not to press my dick down into her warmth. Even though we are close to the same temperature, it still feels like she has fire between her thighs. I smile against her lips, knowing she’s already turned on. I’m going to love making her lose her mind tonight.

  
Letting my hands grip her hips I move my own in a circle, moaning into her mouth when she lifts to meet me. There is such a thin barrier between us and I want nothing more than to remove it but I doubt that would be my wisest decision ever. If I lose my clothes I don't know if I'll be able to stop us and I want the first time we have sex to be in a bed, not on blankets and a sleeping bed in a tent. Instead, I put all of my focus on Ness, pressing my lips to her chin, neck, shoulders. My tongue has a mind of its own, sneaking out to taste her skin as I go.

 

Over the sweet skin of her breast, down her ribcage, to her hip. I inhale deeply and I can smell the subtle hint of her arousal. Bless my wolf senses. Just thinking about her being wet makes my mouth water before I get to my destination. I kiss her hip bone then run the tip of my nose along an invisible line over to the other side, kissing there too.

  
Her fingers pull at my hair, pushing my head down, causing me to laugh. Ness is an eager girl. _My_ eager girl. But I want to make her wait a little and, instead of putting my mouth where she wants it, I choose to use my fingers. Scooting my body down a little so that I can get comfortable, I prop myself on an elbow and use my free hand to move her legs into a different position. I glance up at Ness while my index finger moves along the crease of her thigh, teasing her. The skin there is already damp. _Damn_.

 

She’s propped herself up on a couple of pillows so she can see what I’m doing. Clever. Her face is flushed red and she’s still gnawing on her lip. Ness’ eyes though, they are what get my attention the most. They are dark and full of need, the lids heavy. She is indescribably beautiful.

 

Watching her face, and occasionally letting my eyes drift down to my hand, I inch my finger from the bend of her thigh, to the outer lip of her pussy. It too, is wet, if not a bit more than the spot I’ve just touched. Ness shudders at the first touch then sighs when I do it again. My touch is so light I’m surprised she can actually sense it.

 

I make several passes, watching my finger move up and down her tender skin. Moving the digit over a little closer with each swipe, I finally reach her wet opening. Ness’ legs spread wider, hips lifting off of the blankets to meet my touch, making my finger slip into her pussy with ease. I want nothing more than to bury my face into her but I've promised myself I'll take things slow.

 

Adding another fingerI let them slide along her damp lips gently. I have to remind myself that we’ve yet to go this far and I have to give her time to adjust. “You are so beautiful, Ness,” I mutter, my voice barely a whisper. I’m in awe of how perfect she is. _Perfect for me_. We are perfect together.

 

She sighs and reaches out to touch my face, running her fingers along my skin before speaking, "Jacob, you _make_ me feel beautiful. I love you so much." Those words send a pang of desire up my spine. I'll never get use to hearing her voice filled with want and love.

 

"Always, Ness, I will love you always. I'm going to make you feel treasured beyond belief, forever."

 

My fingers push into Ness's pussy slowly. She is tight and I take extra care to make sure she's relaxed when I insert one single finger as far as I can. Ness quivers around me, her body clenching. My finger strokes her, pulling back out before slipping back in, spreading her wetness. Her moans float around me and I grin before placing two fingers back at her hole. Pressing into Ness gently, I groan, imagining what her heat will feel like around my dick. Wet, slick, and tight as I bury deep into her. The idea nearly sends me over the edge and I adjust my own hips against the ground. My dick throbs and I groan. The first time we make love is going to be hard as hell. I doubt I'll be able to stop myself from coming two seconds in.

 

The movement of my fingers is slow and gentle but she lifts her hips every time I pull out and I know she's enjoying this. I'm making her feel good about her body, about us and what we are doing.

 

"I'm going to make you come, baby. Is that ok with you?" I ask with a smirk on my face. Ness is panting harsh breaths, letting me know she is more than ready. Moaning my name, she then begs me to keep going, to make her orgasm. And who am I to tell her no? Especially when I want her so badly. But this isn't about me, this is about her, and I will do anything I can to pleasure her, regardless of how much I need to come myself.

 

Delicate hands move over my shoulders, up to my neck and into my hair, tugging it at the root. Her beautiful body is shaking, quivering against mine and I know she is so close. I need to taste her and I there isn't a doubt that she'll let me attempt such an intimate act.

 

Licking her sweet flesh, I move my mouth along the bend of her leg, moving closer to where I want to be, where my fingers are teasing. The first time I get a taste of her I realize I'll never be able to deny myself this again. Ness is delicious. As soon as I touch the tip of my tongue to her wet lips I hear her gasp in surprise. I run the flat of my tongue along her delicate skin, allowing both of us to enjoy the slow movement. It's almost torture for the both of us, considering how worked up we already are, but I want to take my time, worship her. Letting my teeth graze her clit I grin between her legs, loving the sounds I'm coaxing out of Ness.

 

While my tongue works to push into her, my thumb glides against her clit. I have to use my hands to hold her hips immobile. Otherwise Ness' movements would throw me off balance. I'm determined to make her come this way and want to keep my attention focused on my task. Moving my tongue up to her clit I begin to flick it after slipping my fingers back into her opening. I find the spot I know will make her lose all of her senses and Ness begins to fall apart in my arms, calling my name over and over.

 

Her gasps and moans bounce around the inside of our tent and I remember that we're outside, and that Ness is none too loud. I hope my brothers aren't out patrolling in the area. I know there isn't much we are able to keep a secret because of phasing and sharing thoughts, but I don't want these moments shared with anyone else.

 

I could drink from her body all day.

 

 

-0-

I must have dozed off because I wake to the feeling of Ness' hands moving down my chest and stomach. Her chin is propped up on my chest and she's watching me with a smile on her face.

 

"Hi there, beautiful girl," my voice sounds croaky with sleep. She doesn't say anything, but instead, her hand keeps moving. My eyes squeeze shut when she slips under my boxer briefs and wraps her hand around my cock. "Fuck," I moan, making her giggle as she strokes upward. I'm pretty sure she's trying to make me lose my mind.

 

-0-

 

The next time I wake up, birds are chirping and the sun is bright. I have no idea what time it is but Ness is still snuggled next to me and I don't want to move an inch. Unfortunately, I know we probably don't have a lot of time before Bella and Edward will be home. No doubt Edward will try his best to get here earlier than we expect. I understand that he only wants to protect his daughter, but I wish he would trust me even more than he already does. Though, I guess, if Ness were my daughter, I wouldn't trust me either, especially knowing what we did the night before.

 

Ness begins to stir next to me, stretching her body against mine and cuddling closer before kissing the side of my neck. "Good morning, Tathut."

 

"Good morning, my love." I can hear the smile in her voice and I turn to kiss her lips.

 

"We should get dressed and clean this stuff up." I tell her reluctantly. I'm not ready to move and I know Ness isn't either. But we have plans for the day. The tent and things need to be put away, we both need showers and clean clothes and then we're going to spend the day working on the Mustang. We also promised my dad we'd be there for dinner. Of course, neither of us budges for quite some time. Well, other than a heavy make out session and a blow job from Ness that made me see stars. She has a beautiful mouth.

 

-0-

 

We spend the whole day tinkering with Ness' car. She assists me when I need the help; whether it's just by handing me tools, or digging around under the hood of the car. Ness is never afraid to get dirty and it's another thing I love about her. As if I need more reason. Ness owns me completely.

 

Later in the afternoon we drive over to dads house for dinner. Rachel and Paul are there as well. My sister looks really pregnant, but I refrain from saying so. The last time I mentioned that she looked like she was having five babies instead of just two -- well, Paul nearly pummeled me because Rachel wouldn't stop crying. Women are so sensitive when they're pregnant. Later, Ness gave me a talking to after that whole thing. Rachel isn't that far along and her stomach will...expand as the months trickle on. So yeah, I keep my mouth shut now.

 

Ness and Rachel spend the entire dinner talking about names and a whole lot of stuff Paul and I don't care about. Who cares if she's using the diapers that you throw in the trash? When she says the words "breast feed" I walk out of the room. There are just some things you don't want to know about your sister. I'm aware that she has breasts, but I don't want to hear her _talk_ about them. Ness on the other hand, a flash of hers flicker through my mind and I'd love nothing more than to get my mouth on them again.

 

Paul and I hang out in the living room for a bit before I have to get Ness home. Her parents have already sent her a text message to let her know they're home. Though I know she's having a nice time hanging out with Rach, I know Ness is looking forward to seeing her parents too.  


Edward and Bella meet us in the front yard of the cottage when we pull into the driveway. Ness jumps out to hug her mom. Bella spins Ness around and they both giggle like little girls. I can't help but watch the woman I love and her mother, the woman I became friends with at fifteen. The girl I thought was my first true love. Both of them changed my life more than I ever thought possible. I know they want to spend time together and I tell Ness I'm going to take off, though I don't want to. Just as I turn away, Edward calls after me.

 

I follow him off to the side when Edward says he wants to talk to me. What he has to say surprises and excites me. The university has accepted me but I have to wait to register for classes, which I'm fine with. But what really shocks me is what Edward says next.

 

"Bella mentioned you sharing Ness' apartment. Now, before you get excited about it, I want to say that I'm not thrilled about the idea, Jake."

 

Not wanting to rock the boat I choose my words wisely, "I do understand your hesitancy, Edward."

 

"Good. I'm going to allow you to move in with her in Seattle, Jacob, because I do like the idea of someone watching out for Ness. Her living alone wasn't exactly my favorite thing about her going off to school."

 

I stand up a little straighter, surprised by this concession. "I only have Ness' well being in mind, Edward." I'll be honest though, I'd be going up there with or without his understanding, obviously.

 

"I know that, Jake, and I admire that in you. I've never doubted that she's safe when Ness is with you. I know you'll protect her in Seattle." He pauses before continuing, and I know it's not going to be as easy and I'd hoped. “However, you are there to learn, not have sex with my daughter. It's a two bedroom apartment, and I would really like for the two of you have to have separate rooms," he stops again and sighs, "but I know that's not going to happen. I just ask that you two be careful, whatever happens between now and the future. Give Ness time to grow up some more before things get too serious."

 

I keep my face impassive, because he'd take my dick off if he knew what we did just a few hours ago. "Edward, I respect you enough to tell you I can't make that kind of promise. I understand your reasoning, but Ness will be eighteen soon and it's her choice. I can assure you that I'll never let her do something I think she feels like she has to do. We will do what feels right for us, as a couple."

 

 

Edward doesn't look happy but I can see he's not going to argue with me. The last thing I want is for there to be more tension between us, and in the end, I think Edward feels the same way. Any discomfort between us will effect Ness and Bella. Neither of us wants that.

 

"Fine. But I don't want Ness staying at Billy's house with you. Until Ness goes to Seattle, you're welcome to stay here." I really didn't expect Edward to invite me to stay with them until Ness and I leave. Without thinking I tell him that I'm not living at Billy's, that I've already started sleeping at the house I bought for Ness and I. Edward is obviously surprised, though I don't really know why. It makes sense for me to stay there while I'm working on it. I can work late and then crash for the night. I love sleeping in our future home, imaging what it will be like to share it with Ness. Her rambling around in the kitchen, me 'helping' out but really just watching her work. Waking up with my face buried in her thick hair. Yeah, that's especially nice to think about.

 

After Edward and I finish talking I head home, knowing I'll be talking to Ness on the phone soon doesn't make me miss her less though.  Being able to spend several nights with her only makes it harder to be apart from Ness. I can't wait for Seattle, to spend as much time with her as we want. I know we'll both be incredibly busy but we can study together every night, have dinner, hang out and relax without our families hovering.

 

That night, I call dad, Sue, Sam and Leah to schedule a meeting to discuss my school plans and what will happen when I temporarily move to Seattle. They all agree to a time and day later in the week and I'm both nervous and excited to talk about it. The most important thing is knowing I can lean on all of the council and the pack while I'm in the city. I have the most dependable family any guy could ask for and I know they respect my relationship with my imprint.  But they all have their own families and lives and I worry my time away will interfere with that.

 

-0-

 

Two days later I'm sitting in dads living room with the others and they are asking me a dozen questions regarding my move.

 

Sam gets in a few friendly jabs about being a college man and leaving them behind. I know he's only kidding but I hope it doesn't really appear that way to everyone else. La Push is my home; it always has been and always will be. There won't be a day in my life I'll want to permanently move away. Or to become something I wasn't raised to be. My family, blood and wolf, are more important to me than my own life.

 

"I can come home any time I need to," I assure them, "For any reason. If I phase and run I'll be here in no time. I won't shirk my duties. Ever. The rez means everything to me."

 

Leah is the first to vocally have my back, reassuring me. "Jake, don't worry so much, we'll be fine. Sam is just trying to be funny. We know you are committed to us."  I'm a bit surprised she's being so understanding. I expected her to be one of my largest obstacles. There's no doubt she supports my relationship with Ness, but me being gone most of the time will put a lot of pressure on Leah. The last few years we've become closer but Leah will always be Leah. She doesn't attempt to hide her feelings about anything. I wouldn't want her to be any other way though.

 

I wave away Leah's comment and tell her I know Sam is only joking, but that I worry about leaving my duties behind. Sam, Embry, Paul and the rest of the guys each reach out to pound my knuckles and I know they have my back too. Not that I ever really thought they wouldn't. But to have them all give me their approval is important to me. This will change all of their lives, not only mine and Ness's. In the end, every person in this house, and those they love, are my family. We are bonded.

 

"I should apologize in advance though," I start to tell them, smirking, "for being the ass I know I'll be the week Ness and I are separated. She'll be moving to Seattle a few days before I will."

 

Embry makes a face and I know he gets where I'm coming from the most. Though Lillah is so fully committed to him and their family, I know he still worries. Lillah is the only imprint that's not from around here originally. She occasionally goes to visit her family and friends. During those times Embry is, well, an asshole when she's away. To be honest, we all avoid him as much as possible.

 

Seth offers to help me move the things I'm packing  up while conversation quickly turns to other things after that. I observe everyone, laughing and joking, the other guys teasing one another. I can't help but laugh. I'm going to miss these idiots, even with the short distance we'll have between us. I know moving to Seattle with Ness is the right decision for me, and for her, but I'm already looking forward to the day we move back home. A thrill moves up my spine when I realize we'll both be coming home with college degrees.

 

Ness is going to hang out with Lillah and Rachel on Saturday, doing whatever it is girls do when they are alone. Since Embry already volunteered to help me movie I ask him, Sam and Paul if they'd be willing to come over to the house and help me out. I still need to finish some of the walls before they can be painted. "We have some overhead lights that need to be installed and I have to finish the tile in the bathroom." I explain. They all seem ok with the plan, Embry piping up with "now you're talking" when I tell them I'll supply pizza and beer.

 

We end the meeting and I say goodnight to my dad and I'm dialing Ness before I make it to my car. Things are getting blissfully more real and I've never been happier to hear her voice on the other line. She is my life and wherever she goes, I go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Remember, if you review without signing in, I can't reply, which I would love to do. And if you are going to be snarky in your anonymous review, don't bother. If you've reviewed, emailed, tweeted, whatever, during this long wait for an update, once again...Thank you times a million. I promised this story would get completed, and it will. Just on my own schedule. I can't predict when I'll update again because I haven't started chapter 21. It won't be a year though, I promise. As for how many chapters we have left in this little story...I'm going to say 'not many'. It's likely Leah will be next.


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